The first week back at school was as hectic as ever but somehow the atmosphere of the Castle had remained still and quiet. People were unable to forget the friends they'd lost over the summer, and were worried about their families left at home.

Marlene was so focussed on avoiding talking about Samara that she hardly noticed the huge quantities of work they were being set, and hadn't had time to think about what Sirius had said to her over the summer. She spent her days with Lily, Alice and Mary, drifting through the castle and trying to make Mary smile.

Eight days after returning to Hogwarts the girls returned to the Common Room to find an excited uproar. James was standing on a chair, his arms raised high above his head, lifting a large poster. Younger students were crowded around him cheering. Sirius and Peter were laughing, and Remus stood a few paces away, shaking his head but smiling.

"Gryffindors tall and small, lend me your ears," James called to the crowd. "We have suffered too long. We have been oppressed. We have been insulted. And worst of all, we have been ignored."

"What in Cassandra's name is he talking about?" Alice muttered, laughing through her words.

"Well it's not Lily, and after Lily only one thing makes him this crazy," Marlene said. They pushed through the crowd to get closer to James.

"WE MUST DESTROY THE PESKY SNAKES AND MAKE THEM PAY FOR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO US!" James let out a shout that made Lily jump, and then continued. "But before we can do that, we need a better team."

"Oh. Quidditch," Lily said quietly. She frowned slightly but Marlene could see laughter in her eyes.

"And so, my friends, Quidditch tryouts will be held this Sunday. That's right my darlings. In just three days time we will be discovering our new team! We need a chaser to replace Kaitlyn and a keeper now Alex's family have pulled him out of school. I'm also open to replacing Bell because, let's face it, he's a bit shit."

Across the room, Chris Bell kicked a chair. The two guys next to him patted him on the back but were laughing with James.

"Tryouts are at 9am. Sign up sheet's now up on the notice board." James flicked his wand and the sheet of paper flew out of his hands and onto the board, covering everything else. "THIS YEAR IS OUR YEAR!" He gave a bow and a wave and then jumped off the chair.

Marlene stepped forward and twisted her hand into James's, leaning against his shoulder. "I didn't know tryouts were going to be so soon."

"Yeah? Well, I've not seen you much this week." James pulled his hand out of Marlene's and put it around her waist instead, pulling her into a half hug, half dance, rocking slightly on the spot.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. You're avoiding Padfoot. I'd avoid him too but he's put a spell on me that means I can't be more than 20 metres away from him at any moment."

Marlene laughed.

James shook his head. "Not funny. I mean it. He said he'd remove it when I got you to properly speak to him."

"Might not be any time soon. Sorry, Jamie." Marlene reached up to ruffle his hair.

"Thought so. It's cool. He'll have to take it off for Quidditch anyway. He promised he wouldn't ruin it for me. You'll try out?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean? I've been trying to get you to join the team ever since I did, and this is your last year. You're a great flyer. We need you."

"You're just trying to get me to spend time with Sirius again. I've not forgotten he's on the team."

"You really think so little of me? I'm Captain. I wouldn't sabotage my team for the sake of Sirius's love life, Marly. I really think you'd be good."

"Oh. Well, maybe."

"That sounds a lot like the kind of maybe that means no."

"I'll think about it."

"Do. It's the last time you'll have the chance."

"I think you should do it," Alice said, lounging back on Marlene's bed and kicking her feet in the air. Marlene lay next to her.

"I don't know."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"I just…I don't know if it's my thing."

"You mean you don't want to be on the team with Sirius."

"I didn't say that."

"It's what you're thinking though. Tell me I'm wrong."

"I don't know."

"Look, Mars," Alice said, sitting up and crossing her legs. "I understand why you don't want to be with him. I really do. I'm spending half my time worrying about Frank and it's driving me completely insane. You're protecting yourself and that's fine, but if avoiding Sirius means not living your life properly you've made the wrong choice."

"Alice…"

"No, listen. I get that it's just Quidditch, but it's part of something bigger. You love flying. You were going to try out last year until everything went down with Rosier. It's a part of you, and your friendship with James is too. By all means sacrifice your…whatever it is with Sirius because you're scared, but don't sacrifice the things that have always mattered to you."

"Um, Alice…are you Lily in disguise?"

"I just have strong feelings about this," Alice said with a wry smile. "Now come on. Let's sneak out and get firewhisky."

"And she's back," Marlene laughed. "Okay. I'll do it."

"What? Sneak out?"

"Quidditch."

James was adamant he wouldn't give Marlene any preference at tryouts, but he sat next to her at breakfast, forcing her to eat toast and refusing to let go of her hand. Sirius sat opposite looking sulky, accompanied by a fourth year girl Marlene didn't recognise. The girl giggled loudly whenever he grunted anything to her, and Alice was stabbing him with a spoon and pretending not to notice his increasingly bad mood.

"You scared, Marly?" James said through a mouthful of cornflakes.

"Nah. It's just flying. If there's someone better there's someone better."

"There won't be. You've beaten me before, and I'm the very best."

"You're so good at modesty, James," Alice said, rolling her eyes and taking a spoonful of James's breakfast.

"I'm the very best at that too."

"Best at what?" Lily sat down on Marlene's other side, Mary at her side.

"Modesty," James said with a proud face. "And Quidditch."

"Do you even know what modesty means, mate?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Leave him alone. This is a big day for him," Lily said fondly.

James choked on his cornflakes and Marlene slapped his back.

"Don't be too nice to him, Lils," Sirius said, half smiling through his scowl. "He'll get confused."

"You're all so mean to me," James said.

"Cruel to be kind," Alice said.

"I think maybe just cruel," James said, sticking his lower lip out.

Marlene laughed and kissed his cheek.

Sirius coughed. "Current team members should get going, Prongs. We should all be there when everyone arrives."

"Right. See you soon Marly. You'll be great." James hugged her uncomfortably tightly before calling the rest of the team out of the room with him.

"How do you feel?" Remus looked at Marlene.

"Okay. Surprisingly okay. I think given that I only decided to go for it a few days ago it's not really sunk in as something important."

"That's good, I guess. Don't undermine it though. You'll love it if you get on."

"I know."

"And then you and Siri can reconcile," Alice said, smiling sweetly and shuffling into Sirius's vacated seat so she was next to the girl he'd been sitting with.

The girl bit her lip and looked down at her plate. Her eyeliner was a little bit smudged and her curled hair was knotted at the top. Marlene shook herself. This girl hadn't done anything wrong, not really.

"What's your name?" Marlene smiled at the girl.

The girl looked up, her eyes widening, and then stood up, tripping over in her rush to leave the Hall.

"What did I do?" Marlene didn't understand.

"You're scary, Marls," Alice said, grinning.

"What? I'm not scary."

"Yeah you are," Remus said. Peter violently nodded next to him.

"How am I scary?"

"You're beautiful," Mary said, speaking for the first time. "Very beautiful, and very rich. Everyone's heard of your family."

"Exactly," Alice said. "And your brother ruled this school when he was here. When you arrived people were already expecting you to be amazing."

"And you're best friends with James Potter, Quidditch extraordinaire and now Head Boy. He's too overly friendly to be scary but he doesn't get close to many people so the fact he treats you like a sister makes you seem less accessible to everyone else," Lily continued.

"And were the only one to tame Sirius Black," Mary finished. "Which makes you completely terrifying to all the girls who've been watching him from a distance."

"Plus you basically ignore everyone," Alice said, smiling.

"You're making me sound so mean. I don't ignore people."

"Yeah, you do. If I gave you the names of the girls from the year below you definitely wouldn't know at least half of them, and that's just the Gryffindors. It's okay, Mars. You're lovely. We know that. You've had lots going on and it means you don't notice other people so much. That's fine. But it means you're scary," Lily said.

"Oh."

"Don't be sad about it. I'm scary too," Alice said, baring her teeth.

"Yes but you actually are mean," Lily said, shaking her head. "You hex people literally all the time and get drunk and insult everyone you don't like."

"Whereas I just seem mean?" Marlene frowned.

"Yup," Alice looked proud. "You're a fraud. You should get going. Try outs start in five mins. Go get on the Quidditch team. It'll make you even scarier."

"Good luck. We'll be there to support you," Lily said.

Marlene picked up her broom and made her way out of the Hall towards the Quidditch pitch. She still didn't really feel scared. She thought James's persistent encouragement must have prevented any nerves she might have felt, or maybe after everything that had happened over the last year it was hard to see Quidditch as important.

The stadium was crowded. Gryffindor tryouts were always popular, and everyone trying out brought their friends with them for support. The other teams also came out to watch, wanting to know what their competition looked like.

Emmeline Vance, who played Chaser for Ravenclaw, was talking to Sirius at the edge of the pitch. She saw Marlene and her worried expression cleared into a smile. She waved her over and hugged her.

"Marlene, I've hardly seen you since we got back. I saw you in my Defence class but didn't get a chance to talk properly. How are you? You're trying out today?"

"Yeah, for Chaser."

"Ooo, I hope you get it. We can gossip when the matches get boring."

"Stop corrupting my potential team members," James called out.

Emmeline laughed and blew him a kiss. "Okay, well I'm going to go sit with my team. Good luck today." She patted Sirius's arm and left the two of them standing together. Marlene let out a slow breath, sure that Emmeline was deliberately trying to leave her alone with Sirius.

"Well," Sirius said, his voice sounding strained. "Good luck, I guess."

He nodded to her and turned to walk towards James, who was getting the prospective Keepers to line up in the air.

"Sirius, wait!" Marlene called out without thinking. She just wanted him to look at her again. For some reason it felt hugely important to see his eyes.

Sirius turned. He looked frustrated and ran a hand through his hair, tugging it. He looked tired and like he might have lost weight recently. His cheekbones were sharper than they'd been in the past but it suited him.

"What?" He sounded harsh.

"I…I don't know. Sorry." Marlene spoke quietly. She wished she hadn't made him turn back. They'd just about managed being around each other since getting back by pretending everything was normal with their friends and avoiding any time spent only in the other's company.

"You'll be okay, Mars," Sirius said, one side of his mouth twisting up into an almost smile. He turned away again and this time she didn't try to get him back. She wasn't sure what he was saying would be okay. He might have been talking about Quidditch but it somehow felt like something more.

Marlene leant her forehead into the end of her broomstick, breathing deeply with her eyes closed for a moment.

"MARLS! Come on! Chasers now!"

James's voice jolted her back to concentration. She breathed in, pushed her shoulders back and strode towards James and the rest of the team, refusing to think about Sirius any more.

A line of five potential chasers had formed and Marlene stood at the end. The girl next to her shuffled away from her and she sighed, thinking about her friends's insistence that people found her scary.

"Okay," James said, clapping his hands. "That's all of you. For those of you who weren't concentrating, we've found our new Keeper, Jason Arram."

James pushed a tall guy Marlene recognised from the year below towards the line of chasers. Jason smiled shyly.

"For Chaser try outs we'll give each of you five penalty shots against Arram. Those of you that get at least four in will each have a five minute mini game with Peakes and me to see how we work together. You'll be shooting against Arram and dodging the bludgers Sirius and Bell send. I'll choose the new chaser based on that."

"You're up first," Sirius said, pointing at the small boy at the front of the queue.

The boy gulped and then mounted his broom. His flying was shaky but quick and he caught the Quaffle James through him by his fingertips. Marlene watched with mild interest as he carefully threw the ball towards the middle hoop. He didn't put enough force into the throw and by the time it met the goal it was so slow it was easy for Jason to predict exactly where it would land and catch it. The second throw was a bit better, hurtling towards the middle hoop, but Jason again caught it easily. The boy ended his trial with one goal, and that was only by fluke as Jason had sneezed at exactly the wrong moment.

The second Chaser to try out was a pretty fifth year girl Marlene thought she might remember as being a cousin of Frank Longbottom. She got four goals in and punched the air at the end of her try out. The third Chaser missed every shot. The fourth got two in and threw his broom across the pitch in anger at the end. The fifth looked green by the time it got to their turn and said they thought they wouldn't try out after all.

"Okay, Marls, you're up," James said. He didn't offer her any encouragement but there was a steadiness in his voice that helped her relax as she mounted her broom.

Sirius chucked the Quaffle at her. It was a quick throw, heading straight for her face, but she caught it easily and flew upwards, feeling release with the wind on her face.

Jason grinned at her from where he circled the hoops. She watched him lazily veer towards the right and lifted her arm to aim clearly for the left. In the split second before throwing she changed her aim to the right, exactly where he was hovering. She watched the Quaffle as she released it from her fingertips, holding her breath and waiting for Jason to fall for her feint. He flew quickly to the left, only realising she'd changed her aim when it was too late to catch it. He swore and then put his hand to his forehead and offered her a strange kind of salute.

"Nice! Next shot!" James threw her the Quaffle this time, and his throw was kinder than Sirius's

She threw the ball between her hands a few times, unsure what to do, and then remembering the move that had helped her beat James the first time she ever managed it. She threw the Quaffle high and frowned as if she'd missed her aim. Jason stopped watching the ball to smile apologetically at her. She waited in anticipation for the Quaffle to fall again, and then kicked it, watching it fly into the right hand hoop.

"Yes Marly! Two in. Three more to go."

Marlene breathed a sigh of relief, catching the ball for the third time. After her first two shots the rest felt easy. She kept her focus until all five balls had gone through the hoops, and then flew down to land beside James. He put an arm around her for a second, squeezing her tightly, and then called over the rest of the chasers.

"Okay, I told you how this would work. Marlene and Rachel got five and four shots in, so it's between them to show us how well they work with the rest of the team. Marlene currently has the advantage. I'm afraid I can't give the rest of you another chance but I'd recommend going away and practising and then trying out again next year. None of you are seventh years and I'll be leaving at the end of this year so there'll be another spot opening up. Thanks for trying out, guys."

The other four students smiled and thanked James before going over to the stands to watch the end of the try outs. Marlene smiled at James. He was a good captain and she was impressed by how he was handling the try outs.

"Okay. We're going to do a practice match with each of you, just for five minutes. It'll be you, me and Louisa trying to shoot against Arram, with our Beaters aiming at you to see how you deal with bludgers. We don't need a seeker so Lucy will act as referee but I don't think we'll need one. I don't want any fouls. Rachel went first last time so Marly you're up first now."

Marlene followed James over to the rest of the team. James spoke to them all quickly. "Come on. Let's make this quick. Beaters, give it your all. Mars flown loads with me so I know how we work together. There's no way Rachel's going to beat her in that. To make this fair you're going to need to work as hard as you can."

"No," Sirius said, looking carefully at James.

"What?"

"I can't do that."

"Padfoot, mate, I'm your Captain."

"You're also my friend. I'm not doing it."

"Why the fuck not?"

"You know why, dammit. I'm not going to try to hurt her. I promised I wouldn't."

Sirius's face was red and the fist that wasn't holding his broom was clenched.

"It's Quidditch."

"I'm sorry. I can't."

Sirius turned, kicking the floor, and marched away. James looked angry but he took a deep breath and then spoke calmly.

"Okay, scratch that. We're going to have to change the plan. Rachel!"

Rachel looked up at her name and came over to stand next to Marlene.

"We've lost a team mate, so we'll have to do a plan B. Both of you are going to be up there at the same time with one Beater. The first one to score gets the position."

Marlene nodded but Rachel shook her head.

"Is that not okay?" James looked confused.

"This is silly. I know you want her on the team," Rachel said with a shrug. "It's alright. She flew much better than me today, and you're friends so you'll work well together. I've got two more years. I'll get on the team next year when you two have both gone."

"But you're here to try out?"

"I'm not what the team needs. It's fine. I'm busy with OWLs this year anyway. She should be on the team."

Rachel didn't wait for James to reply. She picked up her broom, smiled at Marlene and then turned around to leave the pitch.

James looked shocked. He hadn't expected the try outs to be so easy. "Okay. Well then. We've got our new team. Seeker Lucy Andrews, Beaters Sirius Black and Chris Bell, Chasers myself, Louisa Peakes and new member Marlene McKinnon, and Keeper new member Jason Arram. Let's go have a party."

There wasn't usually a party after Quidditch try outs, but James had decided that everyone needed some fun and all of Gryffindor seemed to agree. The Common Room was undulating with dancers and was so loud that not even the lower years had bothered trying to go to bed.

Marlene sat near the fireplace with Louisa Peakes, drinking shots of firewhisky while Louisa worked her way through a bottle of butterbeer.

"You ever think you drink too much?" Louisa smiled at her.

"Cheeky. You're like thirteen, and didn't we just meet today?" Marlene raised her eyebrows.

"James talks about you all the time," Louisa said with a giggle. "It feels like I've known you for a while. But seriously, you're always sitting in a corner drinking at these things."

"You just haven't discovered firewhisky yet. When you do you'll be exactly the same. Anyway, I'm best friends with Alice and James. My drinking is never going to outdo theirs."

"Fair enough. You want to give me a shot?"

"That would be irresponsible. You're much too young to drink. On an unrelated note, I'm going to go for a walk over to the bar. I'm leaving this bottle here because I've had enough."

Marlene stood up, almost falling back into her seat, and wobbled towards the drinks table. Remus was manning the bar and stepped out to hold her arm when she reached it.

"You alright? Back for more?"

"Mmm, maybe not firewhisky this time. I'm getting dizzy and we have classes tomorrow."

"Like that's ever stopped you before. You're really going to drink butterbeer at a party?"

"Nah, redcurrant rum," Marlene said, smiling at Remus. "You're the best. Do you know that?"

"I have been told in the past."

A loud cheer rose up around the room and Marlene spun round quickly, falling into Remus. He gripped her arm more tightly, helping her back onto her feet.

"Looks like James is having a good night," Remus said, nodding towards the centre of the room.

The source of the cheer became obvious. James was spinning a bright red-faced Lily around the room in an exuberant dance. People had formed a circle around them and were clapping. When they danced past Marlene and Remus James beamed.

"She danced with me! She said she'd dance with me!"

"Good to see him happy," Marlene murmured, feeling strangely sad.

"Yeah. Are you okay?" Remus looked concerned.

"Amm okay. Going to go find Louisa again. We were talking," Marlene said, letting go of Remus and swaying as she started to walk back towards her sofa.

She tripped and fell forwards again when she was half way across the room. Strong arms grabbed her and lifted her back onto her feet. She didn't understand how Remus had moved so fast, and looked up to thank him.

"Oh. It's you." She turned away and tried to go back in the direction she'd come from.

"Marly, please. Look at me," Sirius looked desperate and she found her eyes drawn back to his.

"What do you want?"

"We need to talk."

"I'm not good at talking. I always say the wrong things."

"That's fine. It doesn't matter. You can say whatever you like. But we can't keep doing…whatever this is. I can't take back everything I said to you and we're not going to manage being around each other unless we talk about it."

"Tomorrow?"

"No, Marls. Now."

Marlene frowned as she watched his face. His forehead was creased and the shadows under his eyes looked more pronounced even than they had in the morning.

"Okay. Let's talk," she finally said.

Sirius gave a silent nod, took her hand and led her out of the portrait hole.

A/N: I am so so sorry for the long delay and the sub standard chapter. I have no good excuse for leaving it so long. Life just seems to be very busy at the moment and I'm not finding much time for writing this. I've planned the whole thing so definitely have no intention of abandoning it, but I can't make any promises about how often updates are going to be. I can promise that I'll write whenever I can and will make sure not to have as long a gap as this before the next one. I hope you're still reading and enjoying the story, even if it has been a bit slow recently. Reviews are still very much loved and appreciated. J x