Heya, I know it's been awhile, yall, but let me explain. This week, I had community service, and we had three deaths in the family: My Uncle Bobby in WV passed on Wednesday morning. Then there was a wreck on 52 and my dad's boss, Ken, was killed in the collision. Then two days ago, on Thursday, one of my little sisters, Amanda, passed away due to many many complications with her health. Ultimately it was a stroke. She was 28, a year younger than me, and she leaves behind a 2 year old daughter. The wake is tomorrow, the funeral Monday, and I still have 3 hours of community service left to do before Monday at 5pm (for you curious people, it was for an FTA for federal jury duty. Apparently jury duty is more important than my special needs four year old's well-being). So if I'm scarce, please forgive me, but I honestly don't feel much like writing at all. I didn't until today, anyway, and I finished this oneshot… but I really don't feel like working on anything else at the moment, I'm just too sad. So, enjoy the upcoming smutty goodness and please R it'll make me smile.

Love you guys,

Megan

Holding the ribbons of her detransformed fuku against her, her hands trembling in fear, Goddess Mercury raised her eyes fearfully to the massive warrior towering above her. "Please don't hurt me," she whispered.

The moment those huge blue eyes locked with his, both of them filling with tears of sheer terror, Nappa found himself relenting, absorbing the ki blast that was beginning to burn his palm. Then his beast was rearing up at the unexpected tug he felt in his lower sternum and he was eyeing her in a totally new light. Those ribbons were barely concealing her assets, her legs spread slightly as she knelt in a puddle of melted ice from her last attack on him.

And the innocent fear in her eyes was more than turning him on.

Nappa licked his lips and approached her slowly, smirking as she began to shake more violently, one of the ribbons covering her breasts sliding down to expose a perfect, pink nipple.

"Are you going to kill me?" She choked out tearfully.

"No… I have something much better in mind for you, woman."

The queen of Mercury was far from stupid, and the glint of pure lust in his eyes made her only tremble harder as he slowly came within reaching distance and picked her up as if she was nothing more than a child's doll. "Please… please don't hurt me," she whimpered. "I'll… I'll do whatever you want, just please not that…"

"Submit to me… and I'll call off the attack on your people," he stated simply, one of his hands slowly sliding down her naked flank to her hip, where his fingers stroked the creamy skin softly.

And if she didn't… he'd likely kill everyone and take her anyway, Ami realized. "Y—You're w—word?"

"Mmhmm," he replied absently, now shooting a look of warning to a warrior who was eyeing Nappa's prize with a touch of interest. The massive general quickly snatched a discarded cloak from the floor of the throne room and used it to cover her nudity from any eyes but his own, giving the other man a little growl. "Bega!" He snapped commandingly at the warrior that had just looked at the queen. "Order a cease-fire immediately. If anyone questions it, discipline him. If anyone violates it, execute him immediately."

"General?" The warrior asked in disbelief.

"I'll be in negotiations with Her Majesty for several hours," he said seriously, his eyes not even alluding to just what kind of 'negotiations' they'd be 'discussing.' "I am not to be disturbed. Understand me?"

"Yes, Lord Nappa," Bega said promptly, putting on his scouter to immediately relay the command as he blasted out the double doors to shout the orders to anyone too busy fighting to take calls.

Finally alone, Nappa looked down at the quaking, weeping woman cradled in his other arm and brushed away her tears, frowning at the way his inner beast was urging him to comfort her and ease her fears. "Where're your chambers?" He grunted out. When she began to cry again and shook her head, Nappa sighed and rolled his eyes a little bit. "Unless you want me to take you right here on the tile…?"

That got her attention, and the queen blushed and pointed towards the stairs, wishing that she could somehow get away and save her people without being subjected to submitting sexually to a heathen Saiyan general. "My rooms are on the third level," she whispered dejectedly.

He didn't have a problem locating her bedroom amongst the vast layout of receiving and sitting rooms, and Nappa huffed when his beast once again reared its head and demanded that he comfort her somehow. The general ignored it for the time being, hurriedly stripping off his boots, armor and spandex, tossing them haphazardly to the floor before lying down next to where he'd placed her.

Ami wept silently, instinctively tugging the cape around her shoulders to cover her nakedness, refusing to look up to meet his gaze. The moment she felt a set of massive, calloused fingers stroking down her cheek, though, she glanced up to find an almost… soft look in his eyes. Maybe… just maybe he wouldn't…? After all, he had taken the gentlemanly effort to cover her up… so maybe…?

That fleeting hope was dashed as her eyes wandered down to find his cock standing fully at attention just as she felt a gentle tug at the only thing covering her. "Please… please don't do this," she begged tearfully.

"Stop crying, woman," he ordered firmly. "I've never raped a woman or a slave, and I'm not about to start now." Besides, his beast was making it awfully clear that if he tried such a thing with this tiny, gorgeous queen, Nappa would have a massive internal battle on his hands. "Fast or slow, woman? You choose; it makes no difference to me either way so long as I get my pleasure in the end."

That surprised her enough to make her crack her eyes open and look up at him. "I… I don't know," she replied shakily, flinching as he used his tail to pull her against his naked body tightly.

It then dawned on Nappa that this tiny beauty was the sole ruler of her planet… she didn't have a king, and his intel hadn't mentioned a consort or even a suitor. Unless he was seriously mistaken, this was to be her very first time with a man. "Slow, then," he grunted, letting his beast loose a little to slowly push the cloak away from her skin, sliding his massive hands over her soft curves as he gradually exposed her to his gaze.

The mere fact that he wasn't simply rolling on top of her to just slake his lust and leave her there broken and bleeding eased Ami's shaking just a little; she was still trembling, however, as he lazily continued to touch her, exploring her skin with a downright surprising gentleness.

"Relax, woman," he commanded when he sensed her ki waxing and waning in her terror. "You'll hurt yourself with the way you're working yourself up over something as simple as mating. I think I've proven that I'm not going to harm you… so long as you cooperate." He began to idly thumb a nipple then and smirked when she gasped at the sensation. "See? I don't mind giving pleasure in exchange for my own." A few more moments of gently massaging her breasts and rubbing her nipples into perky little buds had her gradually relaxing into him… just a little bit. "Would you like more pleasure before we begin, woman? Or do you want me to just get this over with?"

Those big blue eyes were looking up at him again, and Nappa was downright stunned when his chest began to rattle, sounding like an engine that hadn't been cranked in several years. No wonder it sounded so rusty, Nappa had heard that sound being made by other males before, but had never uttered such a noise in his life. Not even when he was being pleasured by the whores at Celes's on Vegeta-sai.

Well, damn… apparently his beast really, really wanted this little woman. No wonder it was fighting him whenever he considered just rolling on top of her and thrusting into her without a thought for her pleasure. Sure, he'd felt the pull, but… he'd never thought in all his decades of single life that the drive to mate without harming her would be so damned strong.

"I… I don't know," she whispered timidly, turning red as she glanced down at what he was packing. Gods, he was like a freak of nature; surely something that large was going to split her in two, and it wouldn't be just her virgin's blood staining her sheets that evening. "I… I guess… more?" She asked hesitantly, caught between wanting to fight him and make him hurt her and the shame she felt at the fact that her traitorous body was actually responding to his attentions.

"Do you know what you want, baby?" He whispered in her ear as he licked and nipped at the lobe and then down her throat. Another virginal blush and a shake of her head made him chuckle and he rose up on his elbow to take in those beautiful blue eyes once more. "I can tell it's your first time, Blue. Yes?" A little nod made his beast purr louder; the monster inside was very, very happy to know for sure that she was untouched, and for the very first time, that primal side of him was far more interested in giving pleasure than pain.

Ten credits said that she'd probably never come before either, and Nappa immediately pushed the ribbons of her detransformed fuku to the side and dipped his large fingers between her folds. Finding her dry, he retreated and settled for brushing his fingers back and forth over her belly and the length of her thighs. Seduction was definitely not his forte, but if Raditz could do it, Nappa sure as hell could figure it out.

Ami gasped when she suddenly felt something hot and wet caress a nipple, and looked down just in time to see Nappa taking it into his mouth to suckle her. She bit back a moan at that, but her body gave her away and arched slightly into him, silently encouraging him to continue.

Nappa gladly obliged her, alternating between sucking on both of her nipples until she let out a quiet, strangled little moan, breathing raggedly from the stimulation and the way his hands continued to steadily explore her flesh. "More?" He whispered, letting his beast fully loose to take control as she whimpered with pleasure at the feeling of his fingertips gliding over her inner thighs.

That was when she realized that if this was going to happen whether she had a choice or not, she may as well enjoy it.

A little nod of her head had him dipping his fingers into her sex once more and he purred happily to find her slightly wet. "That's it, baby," he encouraged her softly, sliding the tip of one finger over her clit. Her immediate gasp of pleasure made him smirk, and he slid down to replace his hand with his mouth. He'd give her more pleasure than she could ever hope for, and then he'd take her willingly.

Ami's head rolled back and she let out a strangled moan at the first touch of his tongue against her sex, her hips instinctively rocking upwards in approval, her hands moving down with a will of their own to cradle his head to her when he slipped between her folds and stroked her clit.

"That's it, Blue… come for me," he whispered into her heat before taking that bundle of nerves between his lips to suck it gently. He felt a rush of triumph as a second moan erupted from her throat; she'd obviously been trying to fight the urge to make any encouraging noises, but now that he had her spiraling up towards her first climax, she was shuddering and clutching at him desperately.

Nappa paused for a moment just to see what she'd do, and chuckled when she lifted her hips. "Don't stop," she whimpered.

With that he dove back in, no longer quite as gentle, sucking aggressively as he gripped her hips and purred happily. He didn't have to work at it long, within a minute she was bucking into his mouth, crying out loudly as she gripped the back of his head and saw stars. "Not done yet," he chuckled once she was squirming against him from the overload of the constant attention to her clit. "Come for me again, baby… I want you dripping wet when I take your innocence."

Unable to protest his words, Ami could only whine softly as he began to carefully penetrate her with a single wide finger, moving it in slow, gentle circles to stretch her. It was uncomfortable at first, but the moment it began to feel good and she moaned it was joined by a second, then a third as he continued to lavish her sensitive nub with the wet friction of his tongue.

Groaning from just the taste of her and the scent of her pleasure, Nappa couldn't help the movement of his hips as he thrust into the bedspread beneath him when the queen of Mercury tightened around his fingers and moaned loudly, her head rolling back in reaction to yet another climax. And dear gods, it smelled wonderful to his sensitive Saiyan nose. "Again," he ordered ecstatically before diving right back in for more.

"Please…" Her voice was hardly audible to his ears, but the edge to it made him stop and regard her seriously. "It's… it's too much…" Ami instantly regretted stopping him when he immediately nodded and slid up, slowly rocking his hips into hers once he was in position. "No… not… please not yet…"

"The hell else is there for foreplay?" He muttered to himself in frustration as he scented her renewed fear.

Stall him, stall him, stall him! "Normally…" Ami swallowed hard, fighting down her nervousness as she tried to lick her lower lip as sexily as possible. "…two people kiss before making love," she whispered. "And during," she added hesitantly.

"Kiss?" He rumbled cluelessly. "Making luh—that word?" When she nodded timidly, he found himself intrigued by the way she licked her lips yet again. "Show me, woman."

Ami tensed a little at that and lifted a single blue brow. "Um… which one? Kissing?"

"Both," he grunted in reply. "It's your first time, woman. I'm fine with doing what you want so long as I get to mate you."

"I don't suppose actually taking me out on a date and doing this right is going to happen," she muttered under her breath. Ami immediately snapped her mouth shut when she realized she'd spoken that aloud and cursed herself for spending too much time with her more sarcastic sisters, while she waited for the general above her to strike her or yell.

Her expression revealed her obvious surprise when he smirked at first, then smiled, then actually chuckled. "Good to see you have a backbone despite your fear, Ami," he purred softly, bending down to nibble at her throat. "I won't hurt you," he added knowingly. "You're to be my mate, after all."

"Mate…?" She choked out.

Nappa's beast was getting a tad impatient, but it understood her reluctance and surprise and simply relaxed on top of her, his hands continuing their gentle exploration. "I felt the pull when I looked you in the eye, baby. It means that you're my mate. You felt it too; it was a tugging in your stomach or your chest when we made eye contact." He tipped her chin up to prove it and smirked when she jumped a little in reaction to feeling the pull. "See? It means that you're mine. Now… show me that kissing thing, and then I'll take you if you feel like you're sufficiently wet."

"And if I don't want you to?" She asked bravely, unable to hide a touch of nervousness that he would hurt her for attempting to refuse him.

"Then I'll seduce you to within an inch of your life until you're begging me to stop getting you off," he replied smoothly as he began to swish his tail around behind him, spreading his pheromones into the air. The scent of his musk would make her soft, compliant and arouse her to no end, and whether she wanted him in her right mind or not, she would be his within the hour. "Besides, Ami," he breathed in her ear, "you made a promise to submit to me."

Just because they'd made a deal didn't mean she couldn't hope to talk him out of it, she thought silently. But apparently that wasn't going to happen, so she steeled her nerves as she reluctantly reached up to caress his jawline, breathing in deeply through her nose to draw in the scent of his musk. That much she knew about: that a Saiyan's tail contained love hormones and would make a woman yield her body without a qualm, and as she felt them doing their job she relaxed a little and drew his face down to hers. "This is a kiss," she said softly, leaning up to press her mouth to his.

Ami kept it light and pulled back after only a few moments, noting that his purr had really gotten loud during the brief contact of their lips. "That's it?" He rumbled. When she nodded slightly, Nappa dipped his head to kiss her in return and was surprised to feel her tongue caress his bottom lip. "The hell?" She didn't answer, she merely kissed him again, moving her mouth slowly over his as she occasionally licked and nipped at his lips. He got the idea pretty quickly and began to do the same to her, his purr hitching happily when she let out a soft moan.

Nappa began to move his hips every now and then as they continued to kiss, and when he felt her tongue attempting to part his lips he allowed it and groaned at the wonderful taste of his mate at the sensation of their tongues mating slowly inside of his mouth. "Ami… I want you so badly… let me have you…" He breathed between kisses, his tail never ceasing its spreading of his seductive pheromones. But when she nodded and pulled his face back down to hers, her free hand delicately stroking the base of his tail, he snaked it between her legs and began to caress her clit once more.

The silk of his tail fur felt divine, and Ami immediately moaned loudly as her body completely overrode any remaining thoughts she had of asking him to stop. She was totally high on his scent, her body aching for completion, and when she felt his fingers stretching her once more, she arched into it. "St—stretch my hymen… it'll hurt less," she whispered against his lips before claiming them once more.

Positive that she meant the proof of her virginity, Nappa began to swish his ail around once more as he used his fingers to carefully probe her maidenhead and massage it as his thumb rubbed her clit. He growled and purred simultaneously when she suddenly came, her mouth devouring his as she cried out and clutched at his back tightly, her body clamping down around his fingers. That was when he decided that he'd had enough waiting and replaced his hand with his cock. He was gentle, though, despite his eagerness, and pushed forward slowly as she whimpered at the mixture of pleasure and pain. "Relax, baby… you're doing so well," he mumbled in encouragement as he pressed against her virginity.

Ami immediately froze and looked up at him, eyes widened in pain as he withdrew a little and pushed down on the barrier once more. "Shh, baby… just relax," Nappa said softly, a hand brushing her hair out of her eyes as he bent forward to kiss the symbol of Mercury on her forehead. He held still inside of her while he drug his lips back down to hers and kissed her long and slow until she was moaning quietly and her hands were roaming him.

The moment he felt her flex around him slightly, Nappa gripped her hips and drove forward, clutching her securely to him with his tail as she cried out in pain. "Sorry, baby…. shh, it's alright, I know it hurts, but it'll feel good in a few minutes. I promise." He could feel her trembling again and purred soothingly for a long time until she relaxed once more, and then he pushed inside of her slowly, pausing every now and again to kiss her whenever she'd flinch in pain. "You're so tight and warm, baby," he sighed into her breasts as he began to lick and nibble at them tenderly.

The pain was strong enough that Ami didn't speak, lying stiffly beneath him as he tried his best to arouse her again, but she had to give him credit for obviously trying his best not to hurt her. She bit down on her lower lip and whimpered when he moved a little after several minutes, and shook her head emphatically. "Too big… please don't move," she begged tearfully.

"Sorry, r'sha m'yo… hang on, I've heard that the mating mark will give pleasure… hold still and I'll try it." When she nodded despite the pain in her eyes, Nappa sank his teeth into her shoulder without any fanfare and sighed in relief when she immediately moaned and tightened around him, her renewed arousal flooding him through the forming bond. "Mmm… much better," he purred after sucking at the wound for a few moments while his mate writhed beneath him and continued to moan softly. "Bite me back when you're coming," he commanded as he flexed his hips, testing her out.

When she made no protest and didn't wince, Nappa's purr became loud, dark and seductive as he continued to move inside of her carefully, gently sliding in and out while he nibbled at her lips and coaxed her mouth open with his tongue.

A small voice in the back of her mind questioned what in the hell she was doing when Ami gradually returned the kiss; but after a few thrusts she began to slightly move her hips in time with his. And that voice was banished as he suddenly pressed against a spot deep inside of her that had her moaning softly with pleasure, digging her nails into his back and overriding any thought of asking him to stop. "Feels so good," she breathed in wonder, her hands sliding up to his head to cradle him to her breast as he suckled her gently.

Nappa bit down lightly on her nipple in response, leashing his inner Saiyan as it whispered at him to move harder and bite down on her shoulder again. "Come for me, baby," he groaned softly. "K'sha m'yo… my mate… I want to feel your pleasure…"

And then it happened; he nearly came as her lips parted as his name left her mouth, sounding like an invitation to take all that she could offer him. "Nappa…" He groaned as he bit down on her shoulder once more and sent her careening right over the edge, her soft moans of ecstasy sounding like music in his ears.

"Bite me, baby," he gasped shakily when he felt her begin to tighten a second time, clamping down on him so hard that it hurt him a bit. Gods, but she was tight! And warm and wet and sweeter than anything he'd ever tasted in his long life. "Complete the pairbond," he whispered encouragingly as he offered up his shoulder, wanting nothing more than to feel her pleasure flooding him through the bond as he spilled his seed deep inside of her.

Caught up in the utter rapture of his gentle movements, Ami whimpered and lifted her hips for more as she felt herself closing in on her next climax, her mouth caressing the ruddy skin of his shoulder, followed by a slow raking of her teeth. "Dear gods… tastes… tastes amazing," she panted just before giving in to the instinctual, pounding, unyielding demand to sink her teeth into him.

The instantaneous tsunami of pleasure that ripped through his body set Nappa to yelling loudly when her teeth punctured his skin and his blood filled her mouth, and his thrusting became a little rough and wild as he came, despite the care he was trying to take with her due to her size.

Ami merely clung to him and flinched during the last two thrusts as she came down from her high and his sudden harsh movements made her whimper in pain. He thankfully stopped, though, and there was actually tenderness in his eyes as he studied her silently, his lips twitching up in a tiny smile.

"Sorry, baby… other than being a little sore, are you alright?"

Still a little hazy from the tail roofies and utterly exhausted, she blinked up at him sleepily. Hell, she'd only fought the hardest battle of her existence only to be taken upstairs to lose her virginity to a cock that seemed as large as her forearm. Ami knew without a doubt that she was going to pass out the instant he left her alone for more than a minute. "Tired," she finally answered, her eyelids drooping.

Nappa's purr was renewed as his beast had him withdraw from her body and he snuggled up to her lovingly, his fingertips gently roaming her creamy skin. "Then sleep, r'sha m'yo."

"My sisters…" She barely managed to get out those words as that damnable purr and his gentle hands began to lull her to sleep, but she felt his mind through the brand-new bond and pushed her worry for them into his head. The queen of Mercury wasn't the only ruler that had been invaded by the Saiyan Armada that day.

"I'll call the other commanders and order them to stand down," Nappa sighed, knowing that taking this tiny blue-haired queen as his mate had completely botched King Vegeta's plans for a hostile takeover of the Silver Alliance. Nappa's loyalty was now to his mate first, then his king… and if the king decided to continue his invasion, the general would be forced to rebel and ultimately defect due to his responsibility to his mate and her happiness.

His beast would allow nothing less.

Ami actually smiled a little, her eyes closed, and nuzzled his chest in thanks as she heard his thoughts running through her mind. Apparently the pull equated to love at first sight for Saiyan males if she'd already acquired his absolute loyalty to her. "Thank you… Nappa," she whispered.

"You're very welcome, r'sha. And you're correct about the pull; you have my undying commitment to you until I'm in my grave, even if we were enemies an hour ago. You're mine, now." He felt another tiny nod and a kiss to his chest just before he sensed her dozing off and he rolled out of the bed to find his scouter. "Raditz," he said quietly the moment the long-haired commander was on the screen. "Why are you so red-faced and sweaty? Surely Venus wasn't that difficult to conquer."

"Um… well… you see…? It turns out that Venus's queen is kind of really…" Raditz blushed a little and his hand went to the back of his head in embarrassment.

"A gorgeous, sexy, irresistible vixen?" A soft female voice came from offscreen. "The most incredible lay of your life?"

"What she said," Raditz mumbled awkwardly. "Uh… she sort of…"

"Seduced the shit out of you and made you come so hard that you passed out?" That feminine voice asked, a giggle evident in her tone.

"Shut up, woman," Raditz grumbled. Looking back at Nappa, the oldest son of Bardock seemed fairly contrite. "Sorry, Nappa. But… in the heat of the moment, I kind of sort of… bit her," he finished lamely. "How's it going on Mercury?"

"Actually…" Nappa had the sense to blush a little as he sighed. "I felt the pull for Mercury's queen. She submitted to me in exchange for a ceasefire."

"King Vegeta's going to be livid," Raditz snorted. "Oh well. Back to the bed. I might as well get some more of this gorgeous woman while I still have a working cock."

"Sounds good to me," the queen of Venus giggled in the background. "Get over here and I'll suck your cock until you're begging me to stop, Raddy," she purred seductively.

"I'm out," Nappa snickered, hanging up. He called Bardock next, and Raditz's father looked like he'd been to Hell and back; there were shallow cuts on his bare shoulders and even one on his face, and his hair looked like he'd stuck his finger in a light socket. "Damn, Bardock. You need a med tank?"

"No, I need some rope to tie up this little hellcat," he snorted. "Of course the gods would see the humor in making me feel the pull for a vicious little Jovian."

"Oh shit," Nappa said softly, his eyes going wide. But then his lips twitched up in a smirk and he chuckled despite himself. "So, how did that go?"

"Before or after she electrocuted me?" Bardock deadpanned.

"After?" Nappa asked, biting on his inner cheek to keep from laughing hysterically at his oldest friend.

"I tail roofied the fuck out of her, what do you think? Then I ki-banded her violent little ass to the bed and I had my way with her." Bardock's lips drew upwards a little at that. "And damn if she isn't seriously into some bondage shit. My beautiful little freaky mate," he purred. "In fact… let me let you go… I owe this woman another good, long pounding in exchange for the last jolt she gave me."

Nappa just shook his head in wonder and dialed another commander when Bardock hung up on him, and thought to himself how this whole mission had gone straight to Hell in a handbasket. "Shit, this was supposed to be an easy conquest," he mused. "Turles, how's it going on Mars?" When the commander in question sighed and turned a little red in the face, Nappa couldn't help but sputter. "Don't tell me. You felt the pull for Mars's queen?"

"Not exactly," he grumbled. "Apparently she's um… the goddess of passion, and she sort of—"

"Seduced the fuck out of you?" Nappa supplied.

"Yeah." Turles frowned at that and a low, female voice was heard of screen, her tone husky and taunting. "Shut up, woman," he growled. "At least I know how to finish what I start."

"Apparently I'm missing something," Nappa said.

"She seduced the fuck out of me then tied me down to her bed with ki-dampening cuffs. And when I got free she set my hair on fire!" He snapped. "It took three hours of tail pheromones and a seduction that would have made Raditz proud to get this woman to submit to me," he ground out. "And then she insulted my virility after I'd made her come five times. Vicious little bitch."

"That's Mrs. Bitch to you, Saiyan," that other voice corrected her mate. "And you'd better watch your tone or I'll strap you down again and leave you hanging for hours."

"I have to admit," Turles muttered quietly, "I've never enjoyed hate sex so damned much in my life. The woman's lucky as hell that I marked her in the heat of the moment."

"Alright, my new little play toy, you've chatted with your friend enough. Hang up, get your ass over here, and use that tongue for something useful."

"Excuse me, woman!?"

"Are you deaf, or do you just need to clean the shit out of your ears, Saiyan? I said to get your ass over here right now and lick my pussy. And if you don't, I'll deny you sex until you've learned your lesson. No one invades my home planet like that doesn't pay for it in some fashion. So get over here."

"Um… she sounds like she's not playing around, boy," Nappa rumbled. "You'd best go pleasure your mate."

"Whatever." Even though he sounded defiant, Turles actually hung up, and Nappa couldn't help but burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter at the thought of pissy, cantankerous Turles being forced to submit to what sounded like one hell of a spitfire. "Oh dear gods… this is just too funny… ok, ok. Focus, old son…" He pushed another button on the scouter and blinked at the sight of Prince Vegeta… who was black and blue. "Highness? What happened?"

"Broly happened!" He snapped. "That little fucker felt the pull for the crown princess, and when I refused to call a ceasefire, he went Super Saiyan!"

Nappa's eyes went wide at that and he just stared at his prince in awe. "You mean… Broly is the Legendary Super Saiyan?"

"Yes," the prince ground out through his teeth. "And he beat the shit out of me, then that little pink-haired trollop begged him to stop when he turned on her mother, who was still fighting several of my guards. His beast was in total, utter control at that point and he took off with the princess to gods know where after telling me that he would tear my head from my shoulders if I didn't order a stop to the fighting."

"Please tell me that you withdrew the armada, Vegeta," Nappa said softly. "I know I'm not your father, but…"

"I know," Vegeta sighed. If anyone held a soft spot in Vegeta's heart, it was the man that had raised him in lieu of a constantly busy biological father. "And yes, I called them off. I've already called Father and told him the news; he's not happy about it, but he knows as well as I that to rile a Super Saiyan would be the end of us all."

"Thank the gods, because something similar has happened to every commander in the inner solar system. I felt the pull for the queen of Mercury. Bardock felt it for Jupiter's queen, and Mars and Venus seduced the shit out of Turles and Raditz and both of those idiots bit them while they were fucking them."

"It's the same with Paragus," Vegeta snorted. "He's got the queen of Pluto in the royal chambers, and is working on getting up her skirt."

"Dear gods," Nappa chuckled. "What about that kid? Bardock's grandbrat?"

"Gohan's not answering his scouter. I'd assumed he was dead, but after hearing the news about our other commanders, I wouldn't be surprised to discover he's also getting his dick wet," Vegeta sighed. "Lucky bastards. Maybe I'll try my hand with the queen of the Moon," he added with a tiny growl. "That woman is not only the fiercest warrior I've ever seen, but she's stunningly beautiful."

"And she probably hates your guts," Nappa added for him.

"Eh, a minor detail. I've always enjoyed a challenge, anyway." Vegeta chuckled as he glanced offscreen. "And speaking of the devil…"

"Go court her ire, boy," Nappa advised affectionately. "I'm going to shut off my scouter and wake my mate back up for some more sex."

"Go enjoy her, then. If anyone deserved to feel the pull, it was you, Nappa," Vegeta replied with a hint of warmth to his voice.

Such a fun, smutty oneshot! Please R&R yall, if you read the opening AN, you know it's been the worst week ever, and your reviews make me smile.