Reflection 1/1

Part of the 2013 Smut War on Tumblr

NC-17

This is an experimental fiction from Lacey's POV in first person. It has a few fluffy moment, but mostly smut with very little plot.

I watch him out of the corner of my eye. He looks tired, haggard and I wonder how much of that has to do with me. It's everything I can do to keep my hands to myself. There is something inside of me that needs to touch him; almost as if I must constantly make sure he's real. I'm not sure how I progressed from attraction, and he is very attractive, to this overwhelming desperation. I knew, since the night I saw him beat down Keith, that he had a dark streak, it grew darker when he told me that not only could he do magic, but that he was the Dark One, an immortal being of unimaginable power. I'm still attempting to process that information. I think back to our one real date, to the man I originally met, and I feel saddened by his absence. It's like there was a light inside him and I have managed to snuff it out.

He is very attentive when he is focused on me, but I know he thinks often of Belle. He loves her; he does not love me. I have asked around and found only one person willing to talk about it. He says his name is David and assures me that Gold will not kill him if he finds us talking. He tells me that Belle is a kind woman, and that no matter what anyone else in this town thought of it, she loves him. I wonder if I love him. I know I want him, more than I can express in words and while there have been a great many mind numbing kisses, and recently, heavy petting in places that have darkened his eyes to nearly black and made my body tremble with desire, he has always stopped it before it became anything else. Before he took that last step that would not allow him to turn back. And something inside me hates him for that. Is it that I'm not good enough? Not dark enough? Or is it that I am too dark? That he tries to see his Belle in me and when he doesn't find her he has to push me away.

If David is to believed, and I have no reason to doubt him, I am both. I am Lacey, and I am Belle. David says that one day I will remember, but that the person I am right now will never really be gone because just as Belle is a part of me, I am a part of her ...we are essentially the same person. Two sides of one coin. I tell David that I do not think Gold sees it that way. He is a kind man and tells me to be patient. That is not a virtue I possess.

Gold looks up and sees me watching him. His eyes darken, as they often do when he looks at me. His mouth curves up into a half-smile. I wonder if he smiles like that at her. He stands and walks towards me, asking me what it is I'm thinking about. I am honest when I say I am thinking about him. That earns me a kiss. It begins as a gentle brush of lips, but I want more, I want him to want me. His tongue tastes my lips, slips inside and dances with my own and for a moment I forget that I am not his Belle, for an instant I am simply his. His beautiful hands slip into my hair and pull me closer. I love it when he touches me. Every caress lights a fire that I know will take hours to put out and yet I cannot find it in myself to care. I try to still my hands but they run up his chest anyway. For once, this does not cause him to pull away from me. His lips leave mine to nibble down my neck. He has never done this before and gods, it feels amazing. I would stay like this, in his arms, his lips pressed to my neck forever, but then his fingers begin a dance down from my hair, stroking gently along my face, dropping down my shoulders and sliding along my body until he is fingering the bottom of my dress.

I shudder in his arms. He is a masterful lover, although he has claimed otherwise. His hands and lips tell an entirely different story. His fingers work their way under my dress and I wonder if perhaps this will be the time that he allows his desire to rule him. I have no intention of stopping him. I have never wanted anyone the way I want this man. I want his hands all over my body, I want his lips to follow, I want the erection I can feel pressing against me through his clothes inside of me. I want him in every possible way but I know if I tell him that, he will pull away, the moment destroyed and so I say nothing.

He makes a sound of pleasure in the back of his throat and it thrills me. He has pulled my dress up over my waist so that he can stroke his hands over my naked breasts. I wish he would take it off completely. We are in the back of the store, away from prying eyes, and his physical need is absolutely clear. I want to push off his suit jacket but I wonder if that will make him stop. His lips come back to mine and my mind goes blank. A white hot flash of desire rampages through my body and I simply cannot think of anything other than peeling off his clothes. I give up and push at the jacket. This time, he simply shrugs it off, allowing it to hit the floor and then resumes stroking me. My nipples are rock hard, to a painful level and when he brushes his thumbs across them I cannot help the moan that escapes me.

He freezes for a moment ...not even a full second, but I know that he has come to a decision. One arm wraps around my waist, jerking me against his body, pressing his length against wet, flimsy, silk. I hear myself whimper, the need so overwhelming that I can only cling to him and let him lead the way. I gasp when he rips them off and covers me with his hand. Stroking against my center, teasing, making me thrash about in his arms. I am not at all certain I can remain standing and he doesn't seem to mind. He walks me back toward his desk until I sit down. My dress disappears in one movement of his arms and I am naked before him. I want to touch his skin, and I tell him. His lips crush down on mine, pressing me against the wood and when I reach up to grab his shoulders, something to stabilize myself before I fall, I come into contact with skin. His entire body, slick with sweat, is pressed fully against me. I don't know if I missed it or if he has used magic to remove his clothing and I don't care. I block out everything that is not the feeling of him against me. I know nothing in these moments but his body. I gasp as he pulls me roughly forward, thrusting into me and finally, finally I feel whole, complete, perfect. He leans over me, his body straining as if he's searching for control he does not currently possess. I do not want him controlled. I wrap my legs around his waist, pull him down further and take his mouth in a frenzied kiss. He is inside me, the scent of him around me, I know this cannot possibly last. I am quickly coming to the height of my passion.

He breaks off the kiss and tucks his head into my neck. His thrusting becomes erratic, faster, harder and I know he is close. Gods I want him there, I want to look into his face and watch him as he comes undone. His teeth find my skin, biting down hard and it is just too much. The climax hits me like a freight train, slamming into me, causing me to clench around him and that is enough. He puts a hand on either side of me and pounds into my body once more before he explodes. His breath is coming in gasps like my own, he rests his sweaty brow against my shoulder and I can do no more than raise a hand to pet his hair. I am afraid he is going to regret this, but he wraps his arms around me, pulling me against his chest and placing a soft kiss on my lips before he untangles himself from me. His eyes come up to my face and I see it there. A gentle peace in those beautiful eyes that I have never seen before and while I don't want to lose who I am, I cannot help the words that escape me. "I love you."