A/N: Eh, just a little something I came up with this evening. This takes place right after the season 4 finale when Ryder finds out Unique is the one who was catfishing him and then decides he wants to leave New Directions. I think Ryder and Jake are a really hot pairing and they have great chemistry. However, I've never actually written either character before in any of my stories. That means there's every chance I completely screwed up their characterizations. That would make me sad, but I still want to know, so please read this and tell me.
Understanding
"Hey man," Jake said, one hand resting idly on the doorknob as he leaned against the wooden door frame and sipped from the red Solo cup in his other hand. "Took you long enough to get here."
"Maybe I shouldn't have come at all," Ryder answered, scowling at Jake and already turning to leave. The last week had been really hard on Ryder and he didn't need any of Jake's crap. Before he could actually begin to walk away, however, Jake opened the door the rest of the way and his hand shot out, gently, but firmly grabbing Ryder's wrist.
"You're here. Might as well come in." Jake tugged him into the house, Ryder reluctantly acquiescing and allowing himself to be led into the Puckerman residence.
"Listen Jake, if you just called me over here to threaten me for yelling at Marley, or to try to convince me not to leave New Directions, don't waste your breath."
"That's not why I asked you over," Jake assured him, finally releasing Ryder's wrist and picking up a plastic cup identical to his own from the nearby table. "Here."
"What's this?" Ryder asked, eyeing the beverage speculatively, the scent of alcohol not going unnoticed.
"Hennessy and Coke," Jake answered, smirking at him.
Ryder's eyes widened in mild alarm and he stepped farther into the room so that he could peer into the living room, carefully looking for signs of Jake's mother.
"Ma's at work," Jake assured his teammate as he slung an arm around his shoulders and guided him into the living room and toward the couch. "Puck hooked us up with the Henny. So you gonna drink with me, or let me pass out by myself?"
"How many have you had?" Ryder questioned, taking a seat next to Jake on the couch.
"Hmm, let's see." Jake made a show of considering the question as he took another swig from his glass. He swallowed and grinned at Ryder. "That makes two sips. I was waiting on you, dude."
"Thanks." Ryder rolled his eyes, but took a drink. He gave no outward indication that he felt the slight burn as the brew slid down his throat, but inwardly he wondered just how strong Jake had made the drinks. He could have done with a little more Coke and a little less Hennessy. "So what's the occasion?"
"Can't a guy share his booze with his bro without there being an occasion?"
Ryder shrugged and took another swig. "I guess. But it's Friday night and we won Regionals. I thought you'd be out celebrating with Marley."
"Nah, she had plans, and I wanted to hang with you anyway. We haven't had a bros' night in awhile."
"She's with Unique isn't she?" Ryder asked, a bitter tone lacing his voice.
"Yeah, she is," Jake admitted, draining half his cup and then looking at Ryder expectantly. After a few seconds the other boy sighed and followed suit, putting a large dent in his own beverage.
"I hate her," Ryder said between clenched teeth.
"What she did sucked," Jake said, bumping shoulders with Ryder. "But ya know she didn't do it to hurt you, right?"
Ryder didn't respond, just leaned forward on the couch and looked at the ground between his feet. After a little while he felt Jake's arm around his shoulders again as the other teen leaned into him.
"I'm sorry it all happened, man, but I don't think you should leave glee club because of it."
Ryder shot Jake another frown and then finished off his drink, using the empty glass as an excuse to stand up and get away from Jake. "Kitchen?" he asked shaking his empty cup.
"Yeah. I could use another drink too," Jake answered, downing the rest of his own beverage.
The pair walked wordlessly into the Puckerman kitchen and refilled their cups. Ryder was waiting for Jake to say something else, to change the subject, but he didn't. Ryder didn't know what to say. He mentally started several new topics, but he couldn't get any of the words out to actually begin discussing them. Instead he kept flashing back to images from the past few weeks: sitting in the library chatting with 'Katie;' turning down lunch with Kitty so he could IM with what turned out to be a boy; refusing to go out with the real, actual girl Katie was based on because he felt a connection to his cyber chat-buddy, to Unique; screaming at his friends in glee and demanding that they take out their phones because he couldn't take the mystery any longer. That was all painful enough to remember, but what hurt the most was when he replayed what had happened when he told everyone his darkest secret, when he had told them all the story of his molestation, and then got heckled by Artie and Sam.
All these words and images kept swirling in Ryder's head until he didn't think he could take the shame and embarrassment an instant longer. He felt himself breaking out in a sweat as he started to breathe more quickly.
"It's okay, Ryder. You're okay."
Jake's words cut through the swirling haze in Ryder's head, and suddenly he realized that he was indeed okay, at least for now. He was in Jake's kitchen, leaning back against the countertop, his friend's arm once again around his shoulder, and a full drink in his hand. Ryder decided that now was a good time to do something about that full glass and so he gulped down several large swallows before looking back up and catching Jake's eyes.
"You ever do something you feel like you can never live down?" Ryder asked, his stomach clenching, whether from the fast consumption of alcohol or his anxiety and shame he couldn't be sure.
"Yeah, of course," Jake answered, releasing Ryder's shoulder so that he could top his friend's glass off with more Hennessy. He didn't bother with adding anymore Coke. "You know what though?"
"Huh?" Ryder pushed off from the countertop and used the momentum to start walking back toward the living room.
"It's a bigger deal to you than it is to everyone else. Half the people in glee are already way over it, and the rest won't give a shit by next week."
"I get it. No one cares," Ryder said as he slumped down onto the couch.
Jake plopped down next to him, his arm quickly finding its way back to what was evidently its main resting place for the evening. "I didn't say that. I care. So does everyone else. What I meant was, it's not this huge thing that everyone's going to fixate on like you think."
"Nobody cares," Ryder insisted, his voice breaking slightly. He rushed to swallow down more of his drink, the burn in his throat distracting him from the burn in his cheeks. "They think I'm lucky because–"
"I know," Jake said quickly, squeezing his friend closer and saving him from having to finish his sentence. "And that's seriously fucked up. That wasn't lucky. It was wrong what happened to you, and Sam and Artie are idiots."
"You think...you think maybe the reason this thing with 'Katie' happened." Ryder made quote marks with his fingers. "Is because of what my babysitter did?"
"What?" Jake asked, furrowing his brow. "I don't follow at all."
"Well like how I...you know...connected with a guy online. Maybe it was because I was molested."
Jake's mouth dropped open slightly and then he started snickering.
"Wow, that's a really dumb theory, dude."
Ryder glared at him and chugged more of his drink to keep from hitting him.
"Seriously. Are you actually saying you think it's the whole, 'I was abused so now I'm going to turn out gay' thing? Because that's a pretty big load of crap."
"I'm not gay!" Ryder snapped. "Whatever. Just forget it."
"Hey I know! Let's text Blaine and ask him how many girls groped him when he was a kid." Jake grinned and laughed harder, pulling his phone out of his pocket like he intended to do it.
"Fuck you, asshole!" Ryder shoved Jake away, part of Jake's drink sloshing out onto the front of his shirt. Ryder moved to the far end of the couch and glowered at the other boy, his dark eyes burning with anger.
Jake finally settled down and took another sip of his drink before setting it on the coffee table and wiping casually at his damp shirt. He gave Ryder another easy smile and slid part of the way back toward him, but made no attempt to actually touch him.
"Look, I'm not trying to be a dick. It's just, seriously, that theory is wrong on so many levels. Like one, that's not why people are actually gay to begin with. Two, you just said you weren't gay. And three, Unique isn't even a dude so it's a moot point anyway."
"Yes, she is, uh, he is," Ryder countered. "He's just a dude in a dress and makeup,"
"No, she's a girl," Jake argued, looking Ryder in the eye.
"Oh come on. You don't really believe that."
"Sure I do," Jake insisted with a shrug as he picked his drink back up. "If she says she's a girl, then she's a girl."
"She can say whatever she wants, but she's still got a cock between her legs. If I say I'm an Abercrombie & Fitch model that doesn't make it true."
Jake took one last swig of his drink, finishing the glass and giving Ryder a speculative look. Ryder accepted the unspoken challenge and quickly downed the rest of his own cup, eager to keep up. The two stood and walked slowly, and slightly wobbly, back toward the kitchen for refills.
"You know, we live in a pretty cool time," Jake concluded as he wrapped his arm around Ryder. "And if she wants to be a girl, then I believe that, physically, one day she totally can be. In the meantime, she can identify however she wants. And as for you my friend." Jake grinned and bumped his body against Ryder's. "You can definitely be an Abercrombie model some day if you want."
Ryder gasped in surprise and pulled away from Jake as they reached the kitchen.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ryder demanded, propping himself up against the counter again and holding out his empty cup for Jake.
"It means you're good looking." Jake shrugged and took a swig directly from the Hennessy bottle. Then he pulled the red glass out of Ryder's fingers and passed him the bottle instead.
Ryder briefly glanced at it in confusion, but readily concluded that obviously his friend thought cups and Coke were no longer essential parts of the night's festivities. As Ryder considered whether or not he was actually ready to start drinking straight from the bottle, he was surprised again when Jake grabbed his free hand and started leading him back into the living room.
Ryder couldn't get his head around everything that was happening. First Jake tells him he's good looking enough to be a model, and then he starts holding hands with him. What the hell?!
"Jake are you...are you?"
"Comfortable enough in my masculinity to pay my best friend a compliment? Yep, I sure am." Jake giggled and pulled Ryder down onto the couch. "And while I'm at it, you have really pretty eyes by the way."
Ryder blinked in surprise and took a very large swig from the bottle, glad after all that they had decided to forgo cups and mixers. "I...I don't know what to say to that."
Jake shrugged and took the bottle out of Ryder's hand, so he could take a sip himself. "I think 'thanks' is customary."
Ryder swallowed hard, his head spinning as much from Jake's strange behavior as from the alcohol. He slumped farther back into the sofa cushions. "Thanks," he said awkwardly.
"You're welcome." Jake smirked at him and then sipped more of the Hennessy before handing it back to Ryder.
Ryder decided to take Jake's unusual words and actions as simply part of his personality, and concluded that they had most likely been brought on by the alcohol anyway. Also, it had actually been really nice of Jake to say that stuff to him, and Ryder had sort of needed the compliments after everything that had happened to him that week. Besides he was starting to miss Jake's arm around his shoulders. He shuffled closer to Jake on the couch.
"You wanna know what really scares me?" Ryder mumbled.
"Hmm?" Jake asked as he took the hint and pulled Ryder close until he was resting partially against his chest.
Ryder thought about pulling away. He didn't. Instead his brain snapped back to what he had been about to say and he found himself even more grateful for the comfort Jake was offering.
"I don't have feelings for Wade as Wade, not at all, but..."
"You do as Unique?" Jake guessed.
Ryder gulped empty air in response, then decided that he'd rather be gulping the Hennessy instead. He started to take another drink, but suddenly Jake's fingers were on his own, gently stopping him. Before Ryder could protest Jake took the bottle, leaned past him, and set it on the table. Then the next thing Ryder knew Jake was pulling him even more fully into his arms.
Ryder shrugged and let Jake hold him, giving in to the blurry intoxication that was slowly creeping over him. He leaned the side of his face against Jake's chest, enjoying the faint, familiar smell of his best friend's cologne. The softness of Jake's shirt contrasted so fascinatingly with the hard muscles of his chest underneath.
A little voice inside Ryder told him to stop so he turned back around so that he was no longer pressing his face against Jake's torso, but he made no move to actually get up. Jake's arms were strong and comfortable and Ryder was pretty sure that even if he did get up the room would have been spinning anyway. Better to stay put.
Ryder stared at the wall, trying to replay their conversation. They had been talking about something hadn't they?
"What was the question again?" Ryder asked.
Jake chuckled and slid his hand down Ryder's arm until it reached his palm. Then he laced their fingers together. "Do you like Unique?"
"Oh." Ryder tried to ponder the question, but he kept losing his train of thought as he gazed at their interlocked fingers. He was pretty sure that he should have been uncomfortable, that he should have been completely freaking out right about now. He wasn't. It was really nice being this close to Jake. "I dunno."
"It's not a big deal if you do," Jake answered, squeezing Ryder's hand slightly.
"I just dunno though," Ryder answered honestly. He couldn't think straight. His head felt fuzzy and he found himself missing the sensation of Jake's shirt against his cheek. Acting on impulse he turned his face and began nuzzling back into Jake's chest.
Yeah, that was better. It was much easier to think now, especially since the hand Jake wasn't using to hold his own, was now slowly carding through his hair and holding his head gently in place. What was Jake's question? Something about liking guys?
"I-I think maybe so. I just...I feel so close to you."
"I feel close to you too," Jake answered, resting his chin against the top of Ryder's head.
Ryder suddenly felt a strange urge to kiss Jake, but as soon as he realized what he wanted to do panic washed over him. He couldn't do that. Jake was another guy. He had a penis. Ryder couldn't kiss people with penises.
"You think it'd be weird to kiss someone with a penis?" Ryder asked as soon as the thought crossed his mind. Crap, that was supposed to stay inside his head.
"Yeah definitely," Jake answered.
"You do?" Ryder's eyes widened in alarm. Even though he hadn't actually meant to ask the question he somehow hadn't expected that particular answer from Jake. He suddenly found himself very uncomfortable with his and Jake's close proximity. What if he was making a fool of himself? What if Jake was about to hit him for acting like this? He started to get up.
Jake laughed and held him in place. "Yeah, it'd definitely be weird. Never kiss someone with a penis, Ryder...Kiss them with your lips instead."
Ryder snorted with laughter, and elbowed Jake lightly in the stomach, briefly enjoying how hard and firm his friend's abdomen felt, but not having very much time to ponder it further before descending into a full blown case of the giggles. He had been taken completely by surprise by Jake's comment and he found it insanely hysterical. Jake was cracking up too. He was laughing so hard that Ryder had to sit up just to avoid getting nauseated by all the shaking and vibrations.
The pair sat on the couch together for a couple of minutes, grinning at each other and laughing.
"Hey Ryder?" Jake said once they had regained their composure.
"Huh?" Ryder asked, still smiling at Jake.
"Let's find out if it's weird."
Before Ryder could wonder what Jake was talking about, his friend was suddenly cupping the side of his face. Ryder had just enough time to meet Jake's eyes before Jake was leaning forward, covering Ryder's mouth with his own and initiating a kiss that took Ryder's breath away.
The End?
End Note: I think that's a decent place to end the story. Although I could perhaps be persuaded to do a second, almost certainly racier, part if people are interested. I'm still very curious to know if I captured their characters okay, so please let me know what you thought and also if you'd like to see what happens after the kiss.