Chapter One

A marriage proposal from an Emperor. Well, I can certainly say I did not see that one coming.

"That's what happens when you're the Emperor. Loneliest job in the Universe."

"You don't have to be lonely!"

"I don't." Porridge turned towards me, and rather scarily got down on one knee. I mean scarily as in 'Oh my god he's going to propose' rather than 'Oh my god he's going to blow up.' "Clara. Will you marry me?"

"What?" Brain to mouth, brain to mouth, next time do not move without my permission.

"He said-"

"She heard what he said!"

"You're smart, and you're beautiful, and I've never met anyone like you before. And being Emperor won't be as heard with you by my side, and you'd rule a thousand galaxies!"

The Doctor sneaked up behind him and I watched him warily – with reason, it turned out. "This sounds like an actual marriage proposal. Tricky. Now, if you want my advice—"

'You! Not one word. This is between me and the- Emperor." Once I was convinced he'd stay zipped, I turned to Porridge. "I don't want this to sound like the basic response, because I mean it; I'll think about it."

The Doctor started flailing his arms around and I'm pretty sure I heard Angie squeal, but I ignored them.

"I've got a life back home that I can't just up and leave, and becoming an empress... it's a big decision! So, you send me your co-ordinates, and I promise I will tell you." I used the shocked silence of everyone to escape to the TARDIS and hyperventilate over what I'd just said for a few minutes.

I worked up the courage and eventually crept back into the control room. Angie glanced up and walked over from where Artie and the Doctor were having what looked like an in-depth analysis of a potato and gave me an awed high-five. "I guess you're dumping him, then?" She gestured with a thumb towards the Timelord.

I used delyaing tactics. "We were never actually together. There was nothing there—"

"Nothing?!"

"Nothing like that!"

"Thanks Clara, thanks Clara's ex!"

The tenseness reached amazing new heights as the kids left us alone to go back to their wonderfully ordinary lives.

"How long are you going to take making that decision?" His question was almost in-audible, but it was a case of 'get the tone and you get the meaning'. The tone was such that he didn't even look at me.

I tried and failed to not gulp, and then replied "Well, doesn't really matter when your best mate's got a time machine, does it?" I thought he took it seriously, so I changed the subject quickly. "See you next Wednesday!" I grinned, hoping to convice him that I hadn't gone insane/wasn't considering marrying a dwarf emperor, then Exuent Clara Oswald to the Doctor's ramblings about Wednesdays.

"Are you really going to think about it?"

I put the kettle on to give me something to do with my hands. "Yes, Angie, I am. Where's Artie?"

"Upstairs on his computer, I think he's playing chess with it. Do you fancy him?"

"Who?" Delay, delay, delay...

"Porridge, idiot."

"No." Oops, that was a bit too quick. "He' a great guy; funny, clever—"

"Emperor of a thousand galaxies?"

"Y-es, that too,"

Angie glanced up, a question on the tip of her annoyingly malicious tongue.

"But only because he's so lonely. I don't think anyone should rule that much alone, and to... um... not even thing about it would be selfish as well as rude." I was quite pleased with that answer, it managed to explain to me why I wanted to go back there right now and— tell him my answer.

Unfortunately, Angie wasn't the sort of kid to leave it there. "You fancy him, then."

"He's a dwarf from thousands of years in the future who blows up planets!"

"You fancy him."

"...yes." I grabbed Artie's tea and sprinted upstairs without spilling a drop.

"Can I be your bridesmaid?" Angie shouted from the kitchen.

Tea flew everywhere. "No you cannot!"