Yes, this is another post finale fic, and a late one at that. First few chapters are written, and eventually there will be at least one M rated chapter (of course its me). I hope you give it a chance.

Disclaimer: If Castle were mine it would run at least two more episodes this year, so we would all know her answer. So, what do you think she says?

Chapter 1 - Hesitation

"I've been doing a lot of thinking about us. About our relationship, what we have…" He says and she notices he can't even look at her; he's focusing past her. She hears everything he's not saying, "What we don't have."

Time doesn't just drag; it practically grinds to a screeching, disastrous halt. New York crumbles and fades around them. The scar on her chest burns, as her heart clenches as it prepares itself to be tragically torn from her chest. She can't breathe, she can't think, her muscles tense as she prepares for her life to change forever. Her mind screams to stop him from talking, but no words escape.

"Where we're headed," he continues in a voice void of warmth, just like his expression.

She watches him stare straight ahead as if he can't bear the sight of her anymore; it's slowly choking the hope out of her. Her fingers tighten around the swing's chain painfully. The turmoil raging within him obvious in every move, every word he struggles to get through, and she prepares.

"I've decided I want more. We both deserve more."

He wants more, and suddenly she knows deep within her heart that "more" undeniably means a life without her. That "more" means someone who isn't her, someone who can love him as he deserves.

Royce's warning, to never put the job before her heart, echoes through the recess of her mind. Her chest aches as her heart prepares itself for unbearable pain. Her father's words of wisdom about her running from commitment join the confusion.

She agrees with him, because she believes he has made up his mind. That he has finally given up after all the pain, stress and sadness she has caused him. She can't blame him.

He stops talking and starts standing up. She can't bear to watch him walk out of her life. This isn't what she wants, she wants him, she wants it all.

She stares intently at their beloved swings as he moves away. His eyes suddenly come into view again, startling her. Her heart stutters as she stares again into those beautiful blue orbs she loves so much. Confusion takes over as she watches him kneel before her.

"Katherine Houghton Beckett will you marry me?" The words don't register at first. Her eyes focus on the beautiful diamond ring he holds in his trembling hands. The symbol of all she truly means to him, of everything she wants.

Their eyes meet and she sees his tears welling up. He's laying his heart at her feet, fully expecting her to crush it. She sees it in the seriousness in his eyes and the worry lines on his forehead. He doesn't think he has a chance in hell of her accepting the ring. This beautiful wonderful man, who has changed her world and risked his life so many times for her, is laying his heart at her feet praying for a miracle he doubts will come.

"Castle…Rick." She barely whispers, but is immediately left speechless, as she tries to come up with words. She doesn't have any and she sees everything in his eyes. The hurt every second that goes by causes him. The rejection he is stealing himself against. She sees the walls he is building around a heart so pure and a love so ferociously loyal and strong, that it steals her breath away.

He starts to get up.

"No." she mumbles under her breath and shakes her head. His shoulders sag and his eyes drop to the ground in defeat. He reaches out and gently takes her hand, dropping the ring softly into it. He closes her fingers around it, kisses her hand and starts to move away.

"No." she says louder. He looks so disappointed and heartbroken like his entire world is imploding around him.

He turns to look at her and she is looking down at her open hand with tears streaming down her face. The pain in his heart too much for him right now, he has to get away to the privacy of his loft to lick his wounds and drown himself in a bottle of his best whiskey. Maybe just maybe salvage a tiny bit of his pride.

"Bye Kate, I wish you the best in your new job. If you need me I'm always here for you. I love you." He turns away and starts to walk away from her for possibly the last time. The waves of pain sweep through him like nothing he has ever experienced, and he knows without a doubt that he is losing everything he has ever wanted.

"No Castle…you can't do this." Her voice is raw and raspy with emotion. She knows they aren't the right words. She knows that he doesn't understand their meaning, but she has to d something.

More to come soon….