"Isn't it sad?" She asks. I have no idea she is talking to me until she presses her cold, bare toes to my cheek. You'd think they'd at least be warm from the stupid sunrays trying to burn us to a crisp, not to mention she's been running barefoot around this pathetic excuse of a park for the past half-hour so her feet are definitely inhabited by at least a million species of bacteria. I'd cuss her out if she wasn't seven years old. That and her parents are pretty close by and I'm positive they'd give me a beating if I so much as looked at her in a wrong way.

There's silence in the air but there's a crunching sound from the grass. She's inching closer, that much I can tell with my eyes closed. When she goes for my hand and starts stroking each finger I know she'll speak up soon; Akita Neru is not the type to stay silent for long.

"The little birdies live in their nests and then their parents push them off so they can fly and never come back. Isn't it sad?"

"That's how life works, kid." It's harsh but it's the truth and I know it, even if she doesn't. Not yet at least.

Besides, being able to fly after the fall is better than staying in a tree stuck with adult birds shoving worms down your throat for the rest of your life.

I don't say this out loud but Neru still ends gives me a look that seems like I've got a cockroach crawling on my face, like my answer displeased her or she gained mind reading powers and heard my thoughts. It's that sort of look that, if only for a second, makes her look as though she's my age or older and not the round-faced kid with chubby cheeks and a clear conscious.

I hate chubby cheeks.

"You know, just because you're thirteen now doesn't mean you're a grown up! Gosh, you've been such a downer ever since that talk you had with Mama."

Ugg, just hearing her say that word makes me cringe. Her mother is such an uptight stick in the mud that's hated me since I figured out that adults are nothing but liars and I'm doomed to live a depressing life like theirs when I grow up. Don't worry Mrs. Akita, I see you giving me a look from the corner of my eye; the feeling's mutual.

I don't bother to respond to her. I'm too tired to bother. Being in the gifted program in the eighth grade and dealing with finals is a total pain. It's like they want to further depress us kids by showing us just how much work we're going to have to suffer next year, which is nothing compared to the amount of work we'll have to do when we get to college (and that's if half of the class even makes it past the tenth grade). Sigh. Sometimes I contemplate just quitting school and getting a job as a hacker; I wouldn't mind living my life as a shut-in, even if that'll just prove Mrs. Akita right. The woman swears I'm going to end up as a failure in life thanks to my lack of motivation.

Like I said, that woman is a full of herself.

"Dellllllllll."

And there she goes, being a total pain in the butt. Will she ever grow up?

"What?"

The grass crunches beneath her again. She's shifting her posture and now is staring straight down at me. Her hair doesn't even need to be under the sunlight to look golden. It's like her hair is touchable, soft sunlight that brushes her shoulders. Her eyes are equally golden, which only helps her sunny image further, not to mention the sun-kissed skin. Sometimes I feel like just running my hand through those strands of light to see if my fingers will go right through. And there's her smile. Well, it's more like a smirk, but there's no malice; she's just mischievous.

Her left hand leaves the dirt to go through my own grey hair (which is natural, as surprising as it sounds) . It's well past my shoulders, long due for a hair cut, but I don't think I'll be getting tha-

Oh my god. Her mother is going to kill me.

"Happy Birthday, Dell. That's my belated gift."

It's years before I properly see Neru again, and by proper I mean actually looking her in the eye and saying more than 'hi', 'how's everything?', and 'good' before going our separate ways. Although this doesn't really constitute as proper, considering she's looks like a wet cat ready to claw my face out as she stands outside of my door. I'm tempted to leave her out there, but seeing that look and remembering how freakishly strong she was as a child is enough for me to step aside and let her walk into my horrible excuse of an apartment. She does so, tracking mud on my already dirty carpet. Those stains are going to take forever to clean out.

"It's raining back home and I had no umbrella." Is her simple answer as she kicks off her shoes and puts the backpack slung on her left shoulder down. She wrings more water out of her freakishly long hair. Makes me wonder how she can stand straight with all the weight on her head.

"This place is a dump."

Gee, thanks Captain Obvious. Enjoying the sight? Want a tour? If you go to the 'kitchen' you'll see Mount Dirty Plates, and to your left is Dirty Laundry Land. After that is...Eh, I don't even feel like being sarcastic. You've zapped what little energy I had left.

"I figured you'd come to live in a cave but this is more than I expected. Do you even have a bedroom?" She's looking at the door that's either a bedroom or a bathroom. It's my room.

I get in her way before she can even bother to touch the doorknob.

"What are you doing here? There's a storm all over town and I'm pretty sure your mom is having a panic attack." That woman was always overbearing. As the years passed she got worse, being more overprotective and making sure her daughter had everything. Neru's been spoiled as a child and it only got worse when she grew older. Part of the reason we drifted apart was because her mother would always drag her away when she saw me. I don't blame Mrs. Akita considering all that happened over the years, such as me becoming a smoker. Cigarettes are similar to radiation poisoning in that woman's viewpoint.

Neru gives me a look like she's saying 'isn't the answer obvious?'. I start to hate myself a little more because with the zero social interactions I've had in the last almost dozen years it seems I'm able to read her facial expressions perfectly. A reunion I never expected nor wanted topped off with the realization that I'm never going to fully escape this madwoman.

Now Neru's switched it up to another look, this one appearing as though she's got x-ray vision and is examining individual neurons in my head at a rapid pace to see which one is the cause of my 'stupidness'. While she does her analysis she bites her bottom lip, making the pink flesh become redder. I have no idea how I should feel about this or why I'm even staring when she finally asks "can I use your shower?" as though we've been friends for years and this request isn't awkward in the slightest.

I'm sure somewhere in this polluted town a forty something old Akita is dying on the floor from heart failure.

"Thanks for the spare clothes." Her smile is small, almost a grin, but it looks good on her. I can't imagine her smiling with all her teeth like some sane teenage girl. Even as kids her lips wouldn't stretch out much, which explains the barely visible smiling lines. "P.s. I love these boxers. Wayyyyy better than panties." And there's that mischievous grin that made her famous around the parties when we got older. Never would have thought she'd become a prankster when I had first met her.

I'm not going to even ask if she found my briefs. Nope, not going to even imagine that.

Luckily Neru has almost no tits ergo a bra isn't so necessary. Of course I can still see...not looking. Nope, not going to look. She's wearing one of my grey business shirts and a pair of my black boxers since she insisted that wearing my pants would only make her trip due to her being so short. Really, this girl has to be considered legally a shrimp; she stopped growing when she hit the fourth grade.

"So what's there to do around here?"

"Nothing." I say without even thinking. Really, other than watching TV, cleaning, or work, what else is there to do in a house? It's not like there's a button on the TV remote that I can click and'll make a disco ball pop down with club music. What did she expect?

Neru rolls her eyes and walks to the bag she dropped on top of my 'dinning table' (it's really just a regular wooden table that's big enough for two people to eat from). I almost forgot that was there and sort of regret not rummaging through it when I could have. There might be something worth holding against her in there if she ever decides to cross the line.

Too late to think of what ifs.

She pulls out a round cake decorated with chocolate frosting and topped with chocolate dipped strawberries. It's got the Seiyu logo on it so I already know she must have bought it a few blocks down from here.

I should have known it would lead to this.

"Happy Birth- Hey!"

I'm not going to stand for this, and I could care less if she has to walk all the way to her house wearing my clothes. Her family can get the wrong impression for all I care but I won't allow her to go any further. Nothing good ever comes from her when this stupid, pointless day happens. As I think of all the horrible problems she had caused me before our separation, I'm dragging her by the arm to the door. Just when I've finally stretched my hand out towards the doorknob she takes it, opens her mouth wide, and sinks her teeth into my flesh like she's a shark who's hungry for a nice, bony hand.

"OWW!"

Man do I hate her. I hate her so much I'd punch her if it weren't for the fact that my hand's killing me. Even shaking it makes it feel worse, so after a minute of trying to make the pain go away I finally look up and, lo and behold, she's smirking. I wish I could say this was the first time she'd ever done this and it caught me off guard. I wish; Akita's been a biter since preschool.

"Serves you right. Why'd you have to cut me off in the middle of the song?"

"Because I don't want to hear you sing like a dying cat."

She huffs and sticks her tongue out at me. Real mature. Just when Neru's beginning to walk towards the cake again, I stop her by pressing my palm to her forehead.

"Where do you think you're going?"

And here comes the retort.

"To the table, duh."

If I punch her in the face I know that'll end in me having to deal with lectures I'm too old to bother with. I mean really, how long can they go on treating a legal adult as though he's a child that will willingly listen and follow through with what they have to say. I'll never understand my parents generation. So I decided to continue being a pacifist with Neru and not what I wish I could. Instead, I'll just do the 'proper' thing and be blunt.

"Why are you here?"

"Really? You have to ask? I thought I made it pretty obvious with the cake and song sing-"

"Cut it out."

That gets her to shut up. I know this whole 'w-what? He's being serious. Oh wow, let me be quiet and listen to what he has to say because oh wow, he's serious!' moment isn't going to last too long, so I stand my ground and finally spit out what I've thought since she came here.

"The last time we legitimately hung out was when you were twelve and had given me my last 'gift'. Is that why your back?"

She's biting her lip again, and man I shouldn't think about all the times those suckers touched my skin like I unfortunately am. What I ought to think about is the whirlwind of mixed emotions she had put me through as a teen all the way to the time I moved out. Memories I had wanted to lock away for a long as I could. From the disgust I felt at myself for thinking about 'us', to how amused I'd feel from witnessing her antics, all the way to the anger that would come from seeing her mother shaking her head at the emotions I never even knew I had until they had risen from some unknown spot in my head when the world decided to wake me up with a cold slap to the face. Back then I was a weak fool who may have been disobedient but ultimately listened to what society had to say and let go of something that could have been great if I had worked on it.

Liking a girl whose five years younger than you is the definition of tribulation.

"...Stupid, it's just a birthday."

I have no idea what's going through her head; maybe she's remembering all the times we've spent together before I broke off our friendship by slowly disappearing from her life. And no, I'm not going to feel guilty for being the one who left without a reason. Well, I told her one point that the reason was her mother, but we all know that was a weak lie. If that were the case I would have left Neru long before I did.

Okay, I'll admit that what I'm seeing now was a look I had considered but did not expect she'd pull out; she's glaring at me. Anger's written all over Neru's face and if I were anyone else I'd be frightened by the bundle of rage compressed into a petite seventeen year old. Good thing I'm not just anybody. Oh great, her fists are shaking. Yeah she's getting emotional. I almost forgot how bipolar she is. And there I am, getting ready to defend myself if she throws a hit when she, and I am not kidding, starts...

Crying.

She's definitely mad. Neru only ever cries when she's angry beyond belief. I remember because the last time she had gotten like this was when she was nine and her mother had forbidden her from going to the county fair with me and my friends. She thought the people I hung out with were druggies and misfits, which isn't too far from the truth but still an insult. They became druggies a year later in high school. Neru looks almost exactly the same as she did then, except her cheeks aren't chubby and her body is trying it's hardest to mature her in some part.

I really need to stop reminiscing.

Here comes the deep breath and..."Iddddddiotttttt!" There's what I presume is the calm before the storm. What comes out of her mouth after isn't another yell or proclamation of my IQ level. Rather, she shakes her head and says "why are you interrogating me? That should be my job. Is it wrong for me to try to spend a special day with a friend who...Oh, I don't know, stops talking to me for no reason? You're such a curmudgeon."

Would you look at that, she upgraded her vocabulary. Clap clap. Not.

Wait...Did Neru's shoulders just sag?

I'm not going to stand any longer, so I pull out a chair and sit down on the table. Neru gets the hint and does the same, so we're staring at each other and, though it's a terrible comparison that I will eternally hate myself for thinking, I cannot stop and already formed thought; it's like we're a married couple dealing with another spat in out marital routine. the self-loathing will kick in later when I'm not staring at this weird, deflated Akita whose entire persona is flipped upside down.

"I'm going to a college miles away from here next month."

That is not what I want to hear.

"I wanted to see you one last time."

That explains almost nothing.

"I used your birthday as an excuse because I didn't know how else to approach you."

Better.

"Haku gave me your address and told me about your lack of plans for the day."

Figures.

"I forgot May is the month of rain and left my house without an umbrella."

Makes sense.

"I didn't realize it was your birthday until I checked my phone while I was walking, so I made a stop at the nearby Seiyu and then it started to rain."

Ah.

"Can you actually speak or are you just going to stare at me expressionlessly? You look like a pedophile!"

"Option two."

She does that signature animal growl of displeasure that conflicts with her cat image. I would say this is just like old times except she's not the innocent girl who can get anything she wants and doesn't know that kissing guys on the lips as a birthday gift doesn't constitute as a birthday gift and shouldn't be done at all, especially within the line of view of our parents who'd ultimately see it as me being the one to influence her to kiss me and-...Stupid memories.

"I missed you too."

I say it without regrets, much to her bewilderment. I understand why she's confused because I was never the type of person to outwardly show, let alone express, how I felt. I never once told Neru thank you for all the nice times we had together, nor did I ever tell her how much I enjoyed being with her and how being forced to play with her when she was five was one of the best moments of my life. Because even if she was a brat, was selfish, vindictive, annoyingly naive, lazy, teased the snot out of me, was sarcastic (though I blame myself a bit for showing her that language), bipolar, rude, and had a bunch of other negative attributes I always called her out on, she was still the only person who would put up with and like my negative self. We may have fought just as much as we played together, but she was still a constant back then, which only makes me loath myself more for stewing in teenage angst and ruining the only solid friendship I had with a person over a fear of being judge for liking a child when I was a teenager.

As I think all of this she recovers from her shock and makes a grab for the plastic knife she left to the side. She cuts a large piece of the cake, drops it a plastic plate, then pushes it to my side of the table, all the while avoiding eye contact. If her skin was paler and not the tan she has now, I'm sure there'd be a visible blush on those smooth cheeks. I don't stare at her any longer, instead I look at the plate of empty calories and confirm what I already know; I hate chocolate.

The silence isn't uncomfortable, but it's not the soothing kind either. We're just quietly eating cake. This goes on for the rest of the visit, with us migrating to the loveseat that constitutes as my living room sofa and watching an old movie we already have seen and know how it will end but still watch it anyway because it's always been funny to us and it always will be. I'm not going to say the name of the movie because if anyone knew I actually liked this movie I'd never hear the end of it. The dryer also beeps in the middle of one of the best parts so she waits till it's over to grab her clothes and changed inside my bedroom.

Hours into the future she's getting ready to go. We still haven't said anything to each other, even as she has her bag strapped on and her cell phone back in that weird pouch that's connected to her thigh. I expected a simple 'bye' at least, but what comes out of her mouth are another set of words I had anticipated accompanied by the smile I knew all too well and still, somehow, liked even if it came with a set of problems.

"Happy Birthday, old man." Is what Neru says as she grabs my tie and pulls me down, ultimately smashing her lips into mine. They're soft as always and taste like chocolate, but I don't hate the flavor so much when it's on her.

Unlike the years in the past where she did that and it was a funny joke to her because I'd always come out gasping and flustered because I knew her mother and my parents were watching and would surely come to nag me till the next day, no one is here but us. And unlike that kid who pushed her away because he was scared of his own feeling, I put my hand on the back of her head and pull her closer. She may still be a teen, and I might be an adult, and there may be five years, five months, and twelve days separating us, yet I can't find it in me to care and don't understand how I could of cared back then.

Teenagers really are emotional wrecks.

A minute or so later of snogging her skin is stretching into a smile that's only a tag bigger than normal. Her eyes, however, are wider and just...how is a person even able to read emotions from eyes? I never understood how that was possible, even now, when I am able to and have always been able to do just that with Neru. It's unexplainable and I find myself wanting to kiss her more, which I do.

A couple of more kisses later Neru's still got that look in her eyes. I wonder if she can see the same sort of look on me and not the cold-hearted face paint I constantly wear.

"You've gotten better." And there goes all those hearts in the air. Thank goodness.

"Right back atcha, squirt."

She's scowling and I'd laugh if I didn't know that doing so would get me a hard punch to the gut.

I sort of want to ask her if all the torture she had put me through the years with those birthday kisses was intentional, but judging from the impish curl of her lips and the wink that follows I feel like the king of idiots for not seeing it sooner. That's why I find myself thinking of the day the birthday kisses started and blurting out "Fly away now, birdie" which gets me another look of astonishment with leftover giggles that I hadn't sampled in a long time.

Maybe I was looking forward to the birds leaving the nest, which explains both nothing and everything in the weirdest way possible.

Maybe the chocolate cake had drugs that are making me think crazy thoughts; that sounds reasonable.

She closes the door without another word and, just like that, Neru Akita is gone just as quickly as she came.

There's chocolate cake sitting on my table, papers I got to read and sign, and a small part of my brain analyzing all my memories and seeing just how twisted this kid is. There's also the larger part of my head wondering how her mom'll react when I go over to their house tomorrow with a bouquet of roses, some chocolates, and confess my undying love for her daughter while asking said daughter to date me.

I won't lie; this years birthday turned out to be the best and most bizarre of all.

A/n:

Five years since Dell was introduced, can you believe it?

So I was looking at the calendar about a week ago and it dawned on me..."Dell's 'birthday' is coming up!" Being a fan of Mr. Honne since I had started liking Vocaloid made this day one of the first memorized Vocaloid birthdays in my book, and since I love this sarcastic smoker so much, I decided to write a oneshot where he's the lead and publish it. So here's my first fic in a short while and the longest oneshot I have ever written hitherto. I do hope you enjoyed this and if you happen to be a fan of my other fanfics let me tell you now that I plan on updating my ongoing ones real soon, so I hope you'll be looking forward to that. If you never read my fics and this is your first time then thank you for reading and I hope you liked the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid's, fanmade or otherwise, and Seiyu is a group of Japanese supermarkets own by Walmart (not me).