"WHAT ARE YOU SNICKERING ABOUT, KUROBA KAITO!?"
Said 'Kuroba Kaito' looked up from his newspaper. "What do you want, Aoko?"
"So I take it you haven't seen the news at all this morning, Nakamori-san?" Aoko whipped around in time to see the back of the classmate who had spoken to her.
"Well, no, Hakuba-kun, I haven't had time."
Kaito tossed the newspaper at her.
"I hate you, Kaito."
"Just read the stupid thing."
Aoko wondered exactly what sort of thing Kuroba Kaito, class clown, would be laughing about on his favorite day of the year, and into the daily newspaper, no less! However, with somebody like Kaito, what can you even expect? Kaito would say (with that grin on his face) to "expect the unexpected", but Hakuba-kun, on the other hand, would point out that such a statement was completely paradoxical. If you expected the unexpected, such unexpected things would then become expected things. Then there would be nothing 'unexpected' to expect.
Aoko tossed these thoughts away and turned her attention to the – crumpled and disheveled, she noted – newspaper.
She wasn't too surprised to see Kaitou Kid's doodle slapped right on the front page. It was the text that followed that shocked her.
Kaitou Kid Retiring?
She glanced over at Kaito. This is what he was laughing at? Kaito, whose very idol was stepping down from the stage? She watched him mutter something to Akako-chan, still stifling a giggle. What. The. Heck.
She proceeded to read the article that a certain someone found extremely amusing.
Many people support the amazing moonlight magician, the phantom thief, Kaitou Kid 1412. He has been active for over 20 years, but just yesterday an email was received from the phantom thief.
This isn't a heist note. I know that's what you're expecting, but I'm not doing that anymore. You see, I, the Phantom Thief Kid, have been contemplating my retirement. As such, I was compelled to inform you lest you believe I have caught a twenty-year cold.
Kaitou Kid
This new statement shocked local medias – Aoko suddenly didn't want to read more. She turned around, glancing at Hakuba-kun, wondering why he wasn't raging about how it was a complete insult to him for Kaitou Kid to just quit like that. However, he, Kaito and Akako-chan were now muttering about something else, or maybe the same thing, Aoko didn't know. She heard other students talking about it as well, but with tones of shock, not the trying-not-to-laugh one Kaito was using.
Why?
Aoko was so lost in her thoughts that the sound of the start-of-school bell she heard every morning made her jump. The teacher at the start of the room slapped her hand on the desk to gather attention.
Aoko forced herself to concentrate on algebra.
After a surprisingly calm day of school in which every classmate left without any pranks having been pulled on them (something Aoko hardly believed, she wondered if Kaito had gotten sick), she noticed that while Akako-chan rushed off just like she usually did, Hakuba-kun and Kaito left the school grounds still muttering or laughing about something-or-other. Aoko rolled her eyes. So immature. Even for Hakuba-kun.
Still. Never had Nakamori Aoko gone a single April Fools' Day since she was four (when she met Kaito) that she had not had her hair dyed blue, or her shirt magically turned inside out. It was good that she didn't have to face humiliation, or the torture of washing her hair all week, but it didn't feel right.
HOW COULD KUROBA KAITO GO A SINGLE APRIL FOOLS' DAY WITHOUT PULLING ANY PRANKS?!
How can he resist the temptation?!
HOW!?
She rounded the corner to her house. She took a few steps forward to her front door, just like she always did. But this time, she was almost knocked down by a flying Nakamori Ginzo, her father, who had burst out the door yelling in rage, his hair flying in all directions, his face a bright shade of red, a hand clenched tightly in a fist.
"Are you okay, otou-san?" she asked hesitantly.
"NO! I AM NOT OKAY! HOW DARE THAT INCOMPETENT THIEF, THAT IDIOTIC CRIMINAL! HOW DARE HE JUST...QUIT!"
"Otou-san?"
"It's an insult, I tell you! An insult to what me and my task force have been trying to do for ages!"
"Um, otou-san..."
"GAAHHH!" he turned and stormed back into the house. Aoko followed him slowly.
"Um...do you want me to make you dinner?"
Her father didn't reply.
"Uh, okay, then..."
Somewhere down the street, there was another house similarly organized to the Nakamori residence. This house is the house of Kuroba Kaito. At this moment in time, the young master of the house was sitting cross-legged on his bed, smiling evilly, rubbing his hands together in a way that only Kuroba Kaito can do.
But only when he's plotted a master trick.
Nakamori Ginzo went to sleep early that night. Simply because he absolutely didn't have anything to do. Really. He was shocked that the thief had taken up so much of his time. But now that catching Kid was not a part in his life anymore, he had nothing to do.
As for his daughter, Aoko, that's another story. Aoko simply did not sleep at all that night. She lied in bed, staring up at the ceiling, counting the bumps where the paint had dripped a bit while it was still wet. She thought about Kaito not playing tricks, Kaitou Kid's retirement, her father's anger.
And then her alarm clock went off.
And she still hadn't slept, at all.
When Aoko finally got out of bed, she went downstairs. Her father had not yet awakened, but that was natural. She grabbed some orange juice out of the icebox and poured herself some to drink. Then she took her seat at the round kitchen table.
The coffee stains on the tablecloth...
The dirty dishes in the sink...
Her father had awakened.
He just wasn't in the house. Why?
Nakamori Ginzo had woken up at five a.m., when the morning paper arrived. After reading said paper, he charged out of the house and was gone, leaving it discarded on the kitchen table.
When Nakamori Aoko found this, she had grabbed it up to look for clues as to why her father had just run from the house. Now, Aoko is a horrible detective, but, as her eyes scanned the paper, she could easily tell what had happened.
Another email was received from Kaitou Kid today, to many peoples' shock. This new email caused a huge uproar in some parts of the country.
Hey. That email, about me resigning? Yeah, that was a joke. Happy April Fools Day.
Kaitou Kid
P.S. Trololololololololololololol
The end
A/N
I randomly came up with this one when I thought about how Kaito loved playing tricks, and now that he's Kaitou Kid, how exactly is KUROBA KAITO going to pass up a chance to play a prank on the whole world? Chose April Fools because it matches.
Bomomo Edogawa :D