Hide and Seek part 1

Category: Carter/angst

Spoilers: Season 6

Timeline: This story is set in Season 6 but Carter does not have a drug problem.

Disclaimer: ER and all its characters belong to NBC etc and no infringement of their copyright is intended.

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BANG!!

The thud of the ambulance bay doors smashing against the walls awoke Carter from his fitful sleep. Raising his head from the desk he leant on he peered over the wooden counter and look towards the main doors. Another trauma coming in he mused, however from the looks of it Deb and Kerry had it covered so he wearily reverted his attention back to the enormous pile of charts in front of him.

Shaking his head he scolded himself for falling asleep in the middle of his shift. Sure chart review was the monotonous part of a doctor's work, but it was never usually bad enough to send him to sleep. It must be the insomnia that was now a constant part of his life. He had been trying to get a good nights sleep ever since "that" night but he had not succeeded so far, what with the flashbacks and haunting dreams that tormented him constantly.

It was the same every night: the gleam of the knife, the pain in his back, and the horror and fear that radiated from Lucy's eyes. If only he has personally followed up on Lucy's presumption of schizophrenia. If only he had paid more attention and had got the necessary help. If only………… He could go on forever with the futile game of "if onlys." It would not do any good. It would not bring Lucy back.

Stretching his arms above his head he decided to get up and go for some fresh air in the ambulance bay, maybe that would refresh him enough so he could finish the charts.

As he slowly made his way out of the doors he comforted himself with the thought that his shift was nearly over. Soon he would be able to go home, crawl under his duvet and try to forget about the world for once.

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Charles Smith was not a happy man. He had spent all day at work busting his gut to try and earn a decent living, and what had had happened? He had got suspended, fucking suspended. And why? 'Cause his snotty nosed college grad boss had had the cheek to accuse him of not performing up to standard and of not pulling his weight. "Ha" he chuckled menacingly. "I soon showed him that I had weight alright, weight behind my fist." And with that he punched a nearby trash can, knocking if over for effect.

He laughed again as he made his way up his driveway, picturing the priceless look on the bastard's face when he had hit him. His laughter was soon cut short however when he noticed his mother's nurse, visibly pale and shaking.

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After about 15 minutes Carter reluctantly made his way back inside the ER and was quickly waved down by Lydia, who reported that there was an 86 year old lady suffering from terminal cancer coming in in respiratory distress.

He quickly got gowned and gloved and returned outside to meet the approaching ambulance.

A few moments later the ER staff hastily made their way into Trauma 1 and were about to start treating the lady, Mrs Smith, when the ambulance crew informed them that she was DNR, do not resuscitate. As this was the lady's request, the doctors and nurses made her as comfortable as possible and were saddened when she passed away a few minutes later.

"Has the family been informed?" Carter asked Lydia as they made their way out the

Trauma room.

"The lady's nurse said she had a son and that she would inform him." Lydia replied.

Carter was about to ask whether he was on his way when a middle aged man came

running into the ER screaming.

"Where's my mother? Where is she?" He yelled towards Randi at the admit desk.

"Hey calm down ok. What's her name?" Randi asked the man.

"Smith. Barbara Smith. She has terminal cancer. I was told that she had been rushed

here by ambulance, so do your job and find out where she is!" Smith demanded looking around the waiting area and desk in desperation.

Carter could see that Randi was getting angry and was about to say something she should not so he rushed over to try and resolve the situation.

"Hi. Mr Smith I presume? I'm Dr Carter. I treated your mother when she arrived.

Unfortunately she was in respiratory distress……"

"Well is she alright now?" Mr Smith interrupted.

"Were you aware that your mother had a Do Not Resuscitate order?" Carter asked.

"No. What the hell is that?"

"Well basically this is a legal request by a terminally ill patient that if they stop

breathing, they do not want to be resuscitated."

"What's this got to do with my mother?" asked Smith angrily looking around for

some sign of his mother.

"Your mother had a DNR order. It was her wish to be made as comfortable as

possible and let nature take its course. I'm afraid your mother passed away a few

minutes ago. I'm very sorry."

Mr Smith paused for a moment as he took the terrible news in.

"You're sorry?! I can't believe this! You watched my mother die, did nothing to help her and now you say you're sorry? This is supposed to be a hospital, you're supposed to help people, how the hell could you let her die?!!"

"Mr Smith it wasn't like that……" Carter tried to explain but was quickly cut off by Smith.

"It wasn't like that? Well tell me then what was it like? What did you do to help my Mum when she needed you?"

"We followed the requests of your mother and made her as comfortable as possible."

So basically you did nothing!" Smith yelled as he grabbed Carter by his collar and shoved him into the wall.

Having kept a watchful eye on the situation and witnessing the growing dispute Randi quickly called Malucci and Luka over for help.

"You'll be sorry alright doc, you're gonna be very sorry indeed!"

Smith was about to throw a punch when the two male doctors came running up to help out their colleague. Looking around Smith realised he was outnumbered and let Carter go.

"My mother died because of you. You sat by and just watched her as she struggled for help. Does it feel good knowing you killed someone today doc? Hey?

I never even got the chance to say goodbye to my own mother because of you. I am

so gonna make you pay for that. Watch your back Dr Carter. Watch your back!"

With that Smith stormed out the ER, vowing revenge.