NOT A ONE-NIGHT STAND

"It's over," she says. Like it's that easy. Like I'm going to be able to just shag anybody and not go insane wishin' it was my Slayer. Like I could even get it up for anyone else…well, okay, I can bloody-well get it up. No sense lying about that. Never been a problem – even when I was a poncy poet, I had to keep holdin' things in front of me to hide my reaction to being near a pretty woman.

Wonder what it's like to have somebody willing? Somebody who loves me, somebody who actually wants to be with me? Dru loved me for a while in her own twisted way, I guess; but not the way she loved the poof. Harmony? Chit doesn't' have enough brain cells to love anything – 'cept maybe her bloody unicorns. Jus' wanted to be able to say she had a boyfriend. Hell of a body, though…. bollocks! There it goes… Nope, no problems getting it up. Not this vamp. Wish I could get this taken care of – getting a bit tired of my own hand. Maybe that black-haired bint that's been eyein' me for a while. Wonder how she'd like a taste of the big bad?

Ohmygod, ohmygod! He's looking at me. The hottest thing in this dive is looking at me. Okay, be cool. Calm and casual is the way to go here. Obviously a hottie like that could have his choice of women. All you have to do is watch the bartender falling all over him. If she leans over any more, she's going to fall out of her dress. Slut! Not his type, I hope. Please don't be his type. I'm his type. Look at him – bleached hair, eyeliner, sexy leather coat, Docs on his feet. Me, it's me. I'm the one you want to-ohmygod, ohmygod, he's walking over here. It's okay. I'm cool. He won't be able to tell how my heart is pounding – it's all good…why is he grinning at me like that? You'd think he could tell…

Cute – the way she's trying to pretend she hasn't noticed me. Heart's going like a jackhammer. Ah, now, she's going to pretend she's just noticed – looking me up and down like she hasn't been staring at me for an hour. See anything you like, luv? It's available. It's all available. Yours, if you want it.

I think he's laughing at me. Something about the way his eyes are crinkling. I gave him my best "Let me take a look and see if I'm remotely interested" once-over and he just stood there with that cocky (sexy!) smirk like he knew what I was thinking. Maybe he does. Got a bulge in his jeans that – check that. He's got a big bulge in his jeans. Is that for me?

Wha-? He spoke! Asked if he could join me – how did he manage to make a perfectly normal request sound so sexy? Join me. As in, sit down at my table. Not join me. That's not what he meant. I don't think that's what he meant.

An accent. Like he wasn't hot enough just standing there. He had to open his mouth and talk. What a voice. He's asking me something… what? Oh. Shit! I never answered him when he asked if he could sit down. Guess it doesn't matter. He's pulling out a chair and sitting anyway. All right, Polly, girl. Get your act together here. If you want him, you're going to have to figure out how to talk to him without drooling.

Here goes.

Seems like a sweet girl. Underneath all that black hair dye and eyeliner, those red lips and skanky clothes, she's just a sweet little thing looking for some attention. Bet she's got a tattoo somewhere interesting. Probably got a piercing or two, maybe. Think I'll ask where she's hiding the piercings… Oh ho! Stuck her tongue out at me and there it was. Should have known.

Now she's blushin'. All I did was ask her if she was hiding any interestin' tattoos. Guess that's a yes? Gonna make it a point to find out where it is. This could be fun – if I wasn't sittin' here wishing I could get Buffy to look at me like that. If I wasn't comparing my golden girl to this—

Knock it off, William. This girl wants you. Don't bollix it up thinkin' about the bloody Slayer.

Where did he go? One minute he's asking about my piercings and tattoos and looking like he wants to go looking for them right now, and then he's not even here. Those pretty blue eyes turned as flat and gray as the floor. Almost looked like he wanted to cry for a minute. Somehow I don't think it was the idea of my tattoos that put that look on his face…

It would be my luck, wouldn't it? I find a hottie who likes me and he's aching for somebody else. I don't care. Look at me, hot guy. I'm here. I'm willing. Whoever she is, if she didn't want you, she's crazy. You don't need crazy. You need me. Un-crazy, hot for you – your kind of girl.

Ah, there he is. Now he's back with me. Maybe it's time to let him know he can have me. Not that I don't think he already knows that, but… Oh yeah. He knows. Who the hell does he think he is? "Let's go" Like he's asked and I've said yes already. Hey, I have my pride, Hot stuff. You haven't even told me your name yet. Okay, okay, I'm coming, I'm coming. Oh god, I hope that's true.

Got to get her out of here. Go somewhere that I can concentrate on her. What's that? She wants to know my name? Guess I didn't mention it, did I? 'S alright. I'll have her screamin' it before the night's over.

Polly. Says her name is Polly. What is it with girls and names in this country? Got somebody trying to look like one of Drac's brides and she calls herself "Polly?" And the Slayer. The Chosen One, guardian of all things good and wonderful. Her name is Buffy. Just the thing to strike fear into the heart of a demon… and bloody hell, here I am thinkin' about her again.

Spike. He says his name is Spike. It fits him. All hard and sharp edges and shiny. All he needs is a dog collar around his neck and he'd be the perfect puppy dog. Or guard dog. When he's not being all British and charming, he looks kinda dangerous. I don't have a dog collar. I do have some handcuffs though…

Shit. There he goes again. I tell him my name and he smiles, rolls his eyes – and ok, so Polly isn't exactly a really Goth name, but it's mine, dammit!. Anyway, I tell him my name, he has a little laugh about it and then, wham, he's gone again. He's got that "I'm thinking about somebody else" look on his face again.

Where do I live? Is he asking me where I live? Guess that means we're not going to his place. That could be good. If he wants to kick me out, I'll already be home.

Got her own little place. That's nice. Maybe I can hide out here for a couple of days. Just in case the Slayer comes lookin' for me. Not that she would – but if she did, do her good to not be able to find me. Let her stew for a bit. Maybe she'd worry…guess that's too much to hope for. But not knowin' where I am or who I'm with? That might rattle her cage a bit. Too bad there's no way to let her know I'm shackin' up with another woman. Maybe she'd get jealous. Just a little.

That heart's going mile-a-minute again. Sweet Polly – trying so hard to seem uninterested and sexy at the same time. Time to reward the little chit's come-hither looks, I guess. Give her a little taste of the big bad, just enough to make her want more. Won't be like shagging a Slayer. Going to have to remember that she's human. I wonder how long it's goin' to take her to figure out what I am? Alright. I'm ready. I can do this. Wiping Buffy out of m' brain. Nothing there but sweet, willing, Polly. Just do it, you patheitic wanker!

If he doesn't make a move soon, I'm going to…I don't know what I'm going to do. Please tell me he didn't spend all this time and come all the way here just to ignore me? Hello? Willing girl here? With piercings and tattoos? Your kind of woman?

Ohgod, ohgod, he's going to kiss me. Kissing me. Lips are cool, but soft, and oh my god, can he kiss. If he only knew what he was doing to me… there he goes again with that knowing smirk. Like he can somehow tell that I'm already so turned on I want to rip his clothes off. How does he do that? Just because he's so hot, probably. Happens to him all the time. Girls throwing themselves at him.

I'm throwing, Spike! Catch me. Please catch me. Catch me in those arms that feel so incredibly strong, let me feel that body… Guh! Feeling the body now. All of it. Oh, moving to the bed. Bed is good because I'm pretty sure I couldn't stand up now if I had to… More kissing. The man is a world-class kisser and now he's using his hands to… okay, world-class hands.

Yes, yes, take my shirt off – no bra, see? I'm ready. Those lips… that tongue… ah! Naked. I'm naked. Naked is good. Naked means he's planning to—

Sweet, sweet Polly. So soft, so warm and willin'. It's almost too easy. Got a bit used to having to coax and wheedle haven't I? Nice little body. Not like my Slayer's strong, soft curves, but very nice. Pretty nipples. No bra. Naughty girl! Makes it easier though. Let's get these pants off of you. Gonna find that tattoo, little girl. Where are you hiding it?

Been so long since I've looked at anyone but the Slayer, I've almost forgotten how much I love women. Look at her respond to me. All panting breaths and little moans, and I've barely begun. What to do next with this pretty, little body?

What? Oh, yeah, guess it would be a good idea to get undressed myself. At least take my coat off. Don't want her to think I'm not plannin' on stayin'. Gonna be here all night, pretty Polly. There you go, luv. Was that what you wanted? Naked Spike at your service. Ah, there's a good girl. You just hold that in your warm little hand while I….

He's huge! So hard and with such silky skin over it. Not clipped – you don't see that very often. I wonder if he'll let me play with it – oh, yeah, he liked that. See, Spike? It was worth coming here, wasn't it? I have hands too; and a mouth. I could make you—

God, what a body! And it's all mine. Okay, maybe not mine to keep; but mine to play with. Naked Spike body in my bed and he's letting me climb all over it. Smiling at me like he really wants to be here. Finally. Maybe I can make him forget whoever the idiot is who let him get away. Look, Spike. Feel what I can do with my tongue and that little piece of metal in it….Hah! Made him gasp. Guess he's forgetting her now!

What a smile. The first real smile I've seen from him. The first one that didn't look like he was laughing at me, or thinking about somebody else. This smile is for me. For Polly. I think he likes me. Oh, please like me, Spike. I like you. A lot.

What does he mean, "Turnabout's fairplay?" Oh! That's what he means. Oh my god! That tongue. What is he…? How can he keep that up? Doesn't he need to breathe? Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod… Spike!

She's cute when she's just finished comin'. Hope she knows that was just the first of many. Jus' lie there, pet. Ol' Spike has some more tricks up his sleeve. You ready for me, baby?

Oh yeah. So ready. Let me in, sweet Polly. Gonna make you see stars before I'm done. You feel so good – kissin' my neck like you like me. Holding me tight. Here we go, luv. Another Spike special comin' up. Nobody else every found that spot, did they, pet? Ah, there's my girl. That's the scream I was looking for.

I could get used to this, I could. Not runnin' off, is she? Just lying there, kissin' me, runnin' her hands over my body. I think she likes me. Know she likes my body. Hell, even the Slayer likes my body. Wouldn't deny it if she could. But this one's willing to admit she might like me a bit. Me. Spike. William the Bloody. Of course, the chit hasn't figured out what I am yet. Once that sinks in…

Uh oh. I think she just noticed the missing heartbeat. Good thing I tend to do a lot of breathing when I'm shaggin'. Guess we need a distraction here – never did get a good look at that tattoo, pet. Think it's time I went exploring. Maybe it's hiding here? No? How about here? Ticklish, are you? How about right here? Oh yeah, I think I found it. Let me just suck on that spot for a few minutes….

It's official. That was the best sex of my life. And, big plus, he didn't get up and leave. Not yet, anyway. A man who likes to cuddle after sex; can I pick them or what? Strange how cool he feels. Everywhere except where he's touching me. He must have a really lower-than-normal body temperature. If he hadn't been breathing so hard just now, I'd almost think—

It was too good to be true. Why am I not surprised? I meet the man of my dreams, have mind-blowing sex with him, and now he's going to kill me. I picked up a fucking vampire. Way to go, Polly. I don't suppose there's any way I can slip out of bed and… nope, forget that. He's holding on tight. This is it. He's going to bite me now. Oh well, it was almost worth it….

Hmmmm, not biting. Not hard anyway. Using that mouth in other – so much better ways. Maybe he doesn't want to kill me yet. Maybe he's going to kill me with his tongue. Maybe I don't care as long as he keeps doing… what he's doing… to me… again… Spike!

She must have figured it out. Felt her trying to pull away. I'm pretty sure I distracted her for now, but I'm going to have to come clean. Maybe she likes me enough to over look my little affliction. What do you say, luv? Let a poor old vamp spend the night in your nice warm bed?

She's scared. Can feel her heart poundin'. But she's holdin' it together pretty well. Telling me she knows what I am. Got some balls on her, she does. Let's see how she handles the truth. I wonder if she'll believe me that I can't hurt her? Wouldn't if I could, I don't think. Sweet Polly.

I wonder if she'd feel safer if I offered to wear those handcuffs I see peekin' out of that drawer? My kind of girl, she is. Metal in her tongue and handcuffs in the bedroom. Oh yeah, sweetness, you just stretch me out until you feel safe. Wonder if she knows what a turn-on these cuffs are? Even Buffy got into that kind of bondage once I showed her—

Get the bloody things off of me. Now. Get them off. Too many memories. Not going to hurt you, luv. You don't need those to keep me still. Just keep wagging that tongue where you've got it now and you'll have me just as tame as you want me.

Oh yeah, I can pick them. Not only is he obviously in love with somebody – I wonder if he thinks I missed the way he had to bite back somebody's name when he came? Bub? Bug? Bu-something – he's a frickin' vampire. Telling me he can't hurt me. Drinks pigs blood from the butcher shop. I'll find out I guess. If I live to wake up in the morning.

He wants to stay here. Says he likes my warm bed and my soft body. What the hell. If he wanted to kill me, I'd probably be dead by now. I'm not throwing out somebody who can fuck like he can. Dead or alive. He's a keeper.

I've got to admit. If I can't have Buffy, I could do worse than the sweet thing waking me up with a kiss and a mug of pig's blood. She treats me just like I was a man. A man she was happy to find in her bed. Tells me I can stay as long as I want. Only need a couple of days. Just enough to give the Slayer something to worry about – if she even notices I'm not around. Not likely, I guess, what with all the wedding stuff going on.

Can't believe I got invited. Must be demon-girl's doing. Not the whelp's that's for sure. Can't imagine why I would want to go, though. Having to watch Buffy from a distance – and without knowin' I'm goin' be seein' her later like before. At least I had that to take the edge off before. Now we just go back to our separate, empty beds…oh right, I'm not in my bed. Got pretty Polly to warm me up. Wonder if she wants to go to a wedding?

I can't believe we're going out somewhere. After three days of hardly leaving the bed (except for me, who had to go to work), he gets up and announces that we're going to a wedding. A wedding! Says some friends of his are getting married and he's supposed to be there. Wants me to come with him. I guess that's a good sign. He wants me to meet his friends. That's got to be good, right?

I wonder if we have time to play some more before we go? Now that he doesn't freak out when I get out the handcuffs. I don't even want to know why he reacted the way he did the first time. Bad memory, obviously. I think I've been able to replace that memory with something better. I hope so. Letting him use them on me helped, I think. When he realized I trusted him enough to let him…yeah. The handcuffs were a good idea.

There she is. Ugliest dress I've ever seen and she still looks gorgeous. And happy. Happy for them, I guess. Not happy for us. If I thought leavin' me had made her that happy…

I guess it didn't. She's trying hard not to look in Polly's direction, but I can see the sidelong glances. Bitin' her lip and refusin' to look at me or come over to talk to us. The Bit did. Was sweet of her. She was nice to Polly. Of course Niblet has no clue what's been goin' on between her big sis and her vampire big brother. No idea that Buffy ripped my heart out and stomped on it just a couple of weeks ago. Nobody knows. Just as well, I guess. I wouldn't be welcome here if anybody knew.

Okay, I'm not sure which one it is yet, but I'm getting that "You're just here to make somebody jealous" vibe off him, so I know she's here. The girl who dumped my vampire. She's somewhere in this room. I'm not leaving his side; not letting go of his hand. If she's here, she's going to have to fight me for him. I'm not giving him up.

It's not the teenager. She worried me for a second when she ran up and hugged him, but it's easy to see that's a platonic relationship. Almost like they're family. She was nice to me. Gave me the "You're a fashion disaster" look, but didn't say anything. I don't care what she thinks. I look great next to Spike – both of us in black and white. What did she think he was going to show up with – a cheerleader? He's a vampire, for crap's sake! Not that he's alone in this room. I've never seen so many ugly people in one place in my life. Spike says they're demons. Something about the bride having been a demon for a thousand years. And now she's marrying a carpenter? Weird with a beard.

Thought Polly was never going to let go of my hand and I know Buffy wouldn't have come near us as long as she was there. As happy as the Slayer looks to be, she wasn't havin' any part of meeting my "date". But, nature called, in spite of her best efforts, and Polly took herself off to the loo. Didn't take Buffy two seconds to stroll over here and pretend she just happened to be in this part of the room.

Says she knows Polly is just an effort to make her jealous. I had to ask if it was working. Could have knocked me down with a feather when she admitted it hurt – seeing me with somebody else. Says it doesn't change anything, though. Never met such a stubborn bint. Willin' to make us both miserable just to keep from having to admit there's something real between us.

I don't want to hurt her. She's had enough of that in her life. As chuffed as it makes me feel to know she doesn't like seein' me with somebody else, I can't stay here knowing it hurts her to watch Polly hanging on me. If she says she means it, we're leavin'. I'll apologize to the whelp and demon-girl some other time. Won't stay here and cause her pain.

I wonder if she's just trying to make me feel better – no, guess not. Had a funny look on her face when she told me again that it hurt. Like she really meant it and wasn't quite sure what to do about it. I guess that's my crumb. Won't let herself love me, but she can't deny she feels something. Thank you for that, love.

I wonder if she knows I heard that "You're welcome" as we went out the door? Would have sworn I heard real sadness in her voice. Guess that's it for my little adventure with Polly. Can''t stay with her if there's any chance Buffy is going to reconsider. Not fair to the girl anyway. She's not stupid. I know she knows I've been shuttin' my eyes and wishin' she was somebody else. Time to go back to my crypt. What's left of it.

So that's her. She must have run over there the minute I left for the ladies room. She better not sneer at my clothes. Not while she's wearing that godawful dress. Probably not her choice, though. It's a bridesmaid dress. What kind of taste can a bride with such an ugly family have?

She's beautiful. I can see that. Totally not what I would have expected – blonde, clean-cut, probably perky if she wasn't glaring at me or looking at him with sad eyes.

I think I hate her.

I don't know what the deal is between them. I know he loves her. As much as I'd like to think he wants to stay with me, there is no way he is ever going to look at me the way he's looking at her. She must be really, really stupid if she broke up with him. Good for me. Bad for her.

Whoops! Apparently we're leaving. He didn't even introduce me or give me time to tell her to stay away from him. I guess I was definitely here just to make her jealous. I wonder if it worked? She didn't look very happy. It's not like a girl who looks like that would ever have to worry about me taking her guy. Unless she was stupid enough to let him go. Maybe I should go back and thank her? Tell her that her loss is my gain?

Okay, maybe not. He seems really sure that it would be a very bad idea. I wonder what a "Slayer" is? Spike seems pretty serious about my staying away from her. I wish I knew which of us he was worried about. I guess it's me. He muttered something about a "bloody bad temper."

I wonder, if he stays here long enough, if he'll start to see ME when we make love. Maybe someday he'll—

Or maybe he'll just kiss me sweetly and tell me good-bye. Like he's doing now. He says he has to go. Thanks for the bed and the sex. See you around. No! Don't go! I could make you forget about her! I could. I promise. We can use the handcuffs again. You can do me this time. I could get another tattoo. I could get pierced again – wherever you want me to, Spike. Spike?

Can't decide if I'm a stupid git for leavin' such a sweet setup, or if William has reared his gentlemanly head. If I stay there, I'm hurtin' two women. The one I love; cause she can deny it all she wants, but she depends on me to love her. Saw that today. She's not ready to move on any more than I am. Wouldn't be fair to Polly to stay with her. Not sayin' she's in love with me…but she cares and it's got to be hurtin' her knowing I'm thinkin' about somebody else when we're shaggin'. And I am. Thinking about somebody else. I don't think that's going away any time soon.

Well, I guess that's that. My perfect man turns out to be a vampire. A vampire who's in love with some blonde bitch without enough sense to keep him. I guess I was just convenient.

the end