Here we go the last installment, hope you like it!

Several weeks had passed, and although Jim and Spock hadn't said anything, the majority of the crew knew the relationship between their Captain and First Officer. The pair kept it subtle while on duty, a few lingering glances and longer-than-necessary touches.

Jim was in heaven. He had this sexy Vulcan to himself. He loved seeing him in private, when Spock could show his emotions and revel in them with Jim's help. In fact, he was planning something particularly adventurous in the bedroom because of Spock's stare which seemed designed to get him all hot and bothered, when Bones called them both down to Sick Bay.

"Do you know what this is all about?" Jim asked Spock in an undertone.

"I do not know Jim; the doctor was very ambiguous as to why we were to come." Spock clarified.

"Hope it's not bad news." Jim replied lightly.

The doors slid open and Bones was standing there, clearly uncomfortable. Bones was leaning against the table, facing the doors. Jim noted that he seemed to be avoiding his eyes.

"Dr. McCoy, may I ask where the rest of the medical staff is?" Spock queried.

"I…asked them to leave." Bones paused, while Jim felt a sickly sense of dread pool into his gut. This was not good. This was very not good. "After you did the mind meld," he addressed Spock, "I did some more research into what we know about the process and telepathic attacks." Jim didn't like where this was going and leaned imperceptibly against Spock's chest, the warmth comforting him.

"Yes Doctor?" Spock prompted.

"Spock, you entered into a mind meld with Jim while Jim was under attack. There have been past documents of Vulcan's doing this before. I've found only a handful of cases of this, but in the event that there is a mind meld in progress and is simultaneously being attacked, some of the feelings and attributes can be transferred to the Vulcan." Bones said carefully.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jim asked, hostile.

"Damn you, Jim! I am trying to say this as kindly as I can!" Bones retorted angrily.

"Jim," Spock put a hand to Jim's arm to calm him, "I believe what the doctor is saying is that he believes that our relationship may be because I had taken on your feelings of love and attraction." His voice was calm, but he was clearly shaken.

"How can he-" Jim began.

"Look at the facts man, you've told me in advance how you feel about him. You get attacked, and he goes to your defense. You guys make it out, and Spock clearly said his mental shields were damaged. Emotional transference is the reason they have those shields Jim! You both wake up, and start kissing? There was no behavior prior to this that indicated that Spock was interested, Jim. And then all of the sudden the two of you are in a relationship? You have to understand that it seems a little fishy." Bones was pleading with Jim to understand.

"You don't understand Spock, you never liked him. Why would he give any indication to you whether or not he has feelings for me?" Jim snapped. "Spock?" Upon no reply, he turned to face his lover, and repeated quieter, "Spock?"

"Jim," Spock was looking down, if Jim hadn't known any better he would have said Spock was close to tears. He sounded so broken, that Jim moved on instinct to comfort him. Spock moved sharply away, and that hurt Jim worse that he could ever say.

"Dr. McCoy has spent a considerable amount of time researching this issue. What he says is true, the shields are there to prevent emotional transference, and mine were damaged. I also extended my shields to protect you, further inviting you to meld with me deeper than we could have been with the shields in place. There is a strong probability-" And here Jim truly began to get frightened;Spock always told him the numbers. Always, he never generalized them like this. "-that what he says could be true. I…I need to process this." He said, never looking at Jim. Then quickly turned and walked out of the room.

Jim stood there, frozen in horror. Bones was aghast, and regretful. He knew what this relationship meant to Jim. This was his chance to have someone who loved him wholly, flaws and strengths, forever. To find out that it could just be some overgrown fantasy must be shattering. He wished to God he'd never found this information, that his best friend could have been just happy with Spock. But he couldn't in good conscious not tell them. They deserved to know.

"Jim…" Bones tried to think of something to say to comfort his best friend. Jim didn't say a word and marched away. Bones wondered if this was the end of their friendship.

Spock was about to scream. He was finally happy. Jim made him happy. And now it could all be taken from him! He took a deep breath, and decided the only way to be logical and reach a conclusion would be to meditate.

He took out the incense and candle, and settled himself into position. Elegantly, he brought his fingers together into position and took a deep breath, concentrating on the candle. He felt himself detach, go to a higher place. It was suitably spaced away from the problem to look at it objectively.

Dr. McCoy had been correct to make them aware of this. As a friend, he did not wish to hurt us. There was no malicious intent, merely a wish to have the information known. Spock understood this.

Delving deeper into his memories, Spock begins to sort through his feelings and came to the same conclusion as Dr. McCoy. There was a 99.901% chance that emotional transference occurred, moving Jim's romantic feelings and desire to be in a relationship to himself. Now that he'd had time to examine it, his prior 96.7% he'd made in sick bay had increased. Despite Jim's ability to consistently defy probabilities against him, Spock did not think this was the case.

So he was only in love with Jim because Jim had wanted him to be.

So what was the next step? Did this change anything?

Jim was pacing feverishly, back and forth. Spock liked to comment that this was his own form of meditation because he did it so often. What if McCoy's claims were true? What did that make them? Their relationship? Him?

Sure he'd known that Spock and he had entered the relationship after the mind meld, but that was just because Jim confessed his feelings, right? He wanted to hit something. This couldn't be happening.

He tried to be objective. What would he do if he found out he may have been mind-transferred or whatever into loving someone? But he quickly rejected that line of thought because he wasn't Spock.

Did this make everything a lie? He'd never been one to doubt their relationship. He could feel both their happiness when they mind melded to get closer. But this changed everything. Every touch, every whisper, every caress could mean nothing.

Jim wanted to tear himself apart; the denial reared its ugly head. Maybe they could forget this ever happened? They could go back to before, where flirty smile and winks when no one was watching was common. Where beginning the night playing chess and engaging in other activities after the game finished (or sometime before) was just another night in love. Maybe they could go back to when they were happy.

"Captain, permission to come in?" Spock's voice rang through the intercom and Jim started freaking out. He'd given Spock complete clearance to his rooms a while ago, saying Spock was always welcome.

"Come in." Jim said, sounding half strangled. What was Spock going to say? Were they through? Could Jim handle that? Would he revert to his slutty ways? No, his mind forcefully corrected. He would never do that. But he would break. He suddenly saw this with certainty, without his Spock he would be hollow. So empty, Jim caught a glimpse of the void that threatened to overtake him. He would be alone again.

Spock slid into the room, disrupting Jim's thoughts. He tried to glean what Spock would say, but Spock was the picture of indifference. His heart beat faster.

"Jim," Spock said softly, relaxing his stance. "I've done the probabilities; there is a 99.901% chance that emotional transference occurred during the mind meld." His voice was low. Jim suddenly couldn't face him; he didn't want to face the rejection.

"But I don't care." Spock strode right up behind Jim, his hot breath warming Jim's skin. "I have been happy with you these past weeks. So much happier than any other time in my life, and it is unacceptable to me that this time should end. I love you, Jim." Spock turned Jim to face him as he proclaimed the words both had been too afraid to say.

Jim's heart couldn't help but jump with joy as he heard the three words that he'd been wishing for desperately. This was what he wanted; Spock wasn't going to leave him. Everything was going to be okay.

But could he live with himself?

"Spock, I love you. You know I do." Jim paused painfully. "But I can't help but fear that this is all a lie. Even the words you're saying to me now, is it just because I forced you to say them? Could I do this to you? I've robbed you of your choice. The idea I've made you love me is abhorrent, and I am filled with disgust at the thought," he said passionately.

Spock stared into Jim's eyes, the blue eyes that could carry him far away and yet so close. He could not imagine not loving Jim as fiercely as he did now. But he understood what Jim was saying, knew Jim was gallant even when past behaviors didn't indicate this.

"So what will we do now?" Spock asked quietly.

"Is there any way to fix the emotional transference?" Jim felt like he was ripping his heart out of his chest, but he knew he couldn't live with himself even he didn't do this.

Spock spoke, "On New Vulcan, there are many trained healers can fix any emotional transference that occurred."

Jim hated himself for even asking the question, "Where will that make us?" His eyes were averted, but at the Vulcan's abnormally long pause he looked into the brown eyes that encompassed his whole world.

"I cannot say," Spock finally got out, "I believe my current feelings are overriding past memories. They urge me to say that I will always love you, no matter what; but I fear that that may not be the case."

They traveled to New Vulcan immediately. They said that the Spock's father required their presence immediately, and it was true after Spock and Jim had told him what had happened. Those 3 weeks and 5 days were the most uncomfortable days Jim had ever lived.

He and Spock did not talk more than was necessary. They did not spend any time together outside of work. The crew noticed, of course, but they whispered that it was a lover's spat. Only Spock, McCoy, and himself knew the real reason they were going to New Vulcan.

"I miss him desperately. I miss waking up in the morning to see that once again he'd woken up before me. I miss when we'd jump into a closet because we needed too…" Jim confided after several glasses of Romulan Ale.

"Jim! I do not want to know the details of your sex life with Spock!" McCoy retorted. Their friendship had survived, there were deep hurts, but the fact that Spock was out of his life made him fix things with McCoy faster than normal.

Finally they were there, and assembled into the transporter room together. They were transporting straight into the healer's office. There was the command to Energize and then they were there.

Jim let himself look at Spock. Really look at him. His eyes traced his hair cut, his slanted eyebrows that seemed to cut straight through him, those brown eyes, the slope of his nose, the fullness of his lips, he let him take in all of it. Spock had new lines of exhaustion that marred his normally seamless face. It appeared separation had taken its toll on both of them.

He gripped Spock's arm suddenly, "I love you."

Spock looked at him with his eyes practically sending Jim into a puddle. He remained silent, which was almost a relief to Jim.

The Vulcan healer stood by impassively, the pointed ears highlighted by her short brown hair. She said nothing during the exchange, merely pressing her fingers to Spock's fingers and Jim's head.

"Shh. Try not to think, I need to sort," she said softly. Spock Prime, as Jim had taken to calling him, had confirmed that she was trustworthy and had no prejudice against humans.

Jim tried to sit still and not think, he was aware that she was doing something over in Spock's mind, but couldn't see what it was. After a long time, she left their minds and Jim opened his eyes anxiously to Spock's face.

It betrayed nothing.

"Thank you." Spock said, not looking at the Healer, who nodded and left the room.

"Spock?" Jim cursed his voice for betraying his doubt.

All he was met with was the Vulcan's succulent lips, his warm tongue sliding in his mouth sensuously. Jim was okay with this response. This was definitely a good response. Spock flicked his tongue erotically, and Jim amended his thoughts, this was a great response.

And all other coherent though left him as he slid his hands down to feel Spock's tight ass and Spock pressed himself against Jim in a long moan of pleasure.

After they had finished their athletic activity…several times, Jim got up the courage to ask. "So did I not transfer anything?"

"You did." Spock murmured softly. "You did transfer your love but it was your love of meat. You have no idea how difficult it was to refrain from eating that."

Jim let out a chuckle of surprise and relief, "Pity you didn't indulge yourself…" and was cut off by the Vulcan's lips on his once more. This was becoming a delicious habit.

"I fell in love with you all by myself, T'hy'la." Spock whispered to his forever love.

For those of you unaware, T'hy'la means brother...friend...and lover. So there it is! Hope I gave you a bit of a shock!