I got back from dinner and my mind was foggy. I couldn't think straight, especially not about Tobias. I knew I loved him, but my fear was that if I couldn't live up to his expectations that I would no longer matter.

I've faced so many of my fear, yet intimacy still stood in the way of what I thought to be happiness. I was going to change that fear: and I was going to do it tonight.

I got home to our apartment and Tobias wasn't there. I quickly started to execute my plan. I threw my clothes on the floor as sort of a pathway to his destination.

I heard his footsteps and the click of the door

"Tobias! Come here for a minute."

"What is it?"

"I need your help with something." I willed all the strength I could muster and stepped out of the shower, dripping with water. I smiled at him, while his eyes wondered across my bare body. I slowly walked toward him and once I was close enough could hear his breaths quicken and see the front of his pants tighten. "I slipped in some mud earlier and need you to help me wash my back, can you do that for me?" I needed this, the feeling of control in this situation.

"S-sure" he slightly nodded before watching we hop back into the shower. I could hear his boots fall off, along with his shirt and pants. He stepped into the shower just as bare as I was. I didn't look for too long before I turned around and offered him the scrubby. "It's on the lower side of my back." My heart was beating so hard I thought it was going to fall out of my chest. He hesitantly started to wash my back. After a few minutes he ventured to my side, which made me turn so he could view my chest.

"May I?" I grabbed for the scrubby and started to wash his chest, not bold enough to look into his eyes.

"How was your day?" He sounded scared out of his head, along with the pail shade of white he was turning.

I started to babble about Christina and Uriah, along with everything else wrong in my life. Once I was sick of that, I leaned up and kissed him deeply. At first he was shocked, but then he gave into it and kissed me back. Without thinking I grabbed him and slowly started to feel every part of him. He backed away from our kiss and looked at me with questionable eyes. "Tris, we don't have to go any further if you're uncomfortable.

The truth was that I was petrified of my own actions and intentions. "I love you Tobias, anything I can do to prove my love and lust for you isn't a mistake." I then lowered to my knees and stared at his groin. He turned off the faucet and leaned against the wall. I graced my tongue across the tip, leaving Tobias with a shudder. I looked up to see his eyes full of want, and took him in my mouth without thinking.

After a few minutes we developed a rhythm. I took a comfortable length in my mouth while gently applying my tongue. He began to moan and run his fingers through my hair.

His breaths got faster and faster until he suddenly pulled away and released all over my chest. I dabbed the substance with my finger and realized how sticky I was now. I stood up and reached for the faucet.

Tobias was one step ahead of me with the scrubby in his hand. He began to gently scrub my chest.

"Tris I didn't mean to-"

"I'm fine" I manage to say.

"That was just so unexpected. I didn't realize that you could do things like that. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Yes." He then scooped me up and carried me off to the bedroom, kissing me the whole way there.