"Are we there yet?"

"No Italy. We still have many miles to go."

"...Soooo... Are we there yet?"

Germany sighed and let his head drop into his palms. The year was 1936, and Italy's boss was getting together with Germany's to discuss Germany's new financial turnabouts and something about "a new world order". With this in mind, Germany had thought it wise to try to get his new potential ally a bit better. HAD thought it wise.

Germany lifted his head out of his hands. "Italy, Moscow is still a couple of days away, be thankful we're taking a plane. Just make yourself comfortable and be quiet." He said with no small amount of venom in his voice.

"Moscow?" Italy asked as his nose crinkled in confusion, then he grinned ear to ear. "Oh! Well guess what Germany! I swapped pilots! I got us one who's going to take us to South Africa instead!"

"What!?" Germany cried "How dare you ruin our travel plans! I had our schedule meticulously planned! Russia is expecting us! How do we explain this to him?!"

"Well we can invite him too!" Italy says with a smile. "We should be there in twenty minutes!"

"We'll be in South Africa in twenty minutes?" Germany responded as confusion spread across his face. "How?"

"It was easy! I figured we'd get there faster if we were lighter, so I dumped our luggage!"

"ITALY!"

"But wait it gets better! I dumped all of our extra fuel too!"

"I ONLY RATIONED ENOUGH FUEL TO GET US TO RUSSIA! NO FURTHER!"

"Oh..." disappointment filed itself over Italy's face. Then promptly disappeared. "But that's okay! The pilot said he'd take special care of us! We'll get there okay, or we should for what I paid him!"

"WELL HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY HIM?"

"Well how much was in your wallet?"

Germany made a mad rush for the cockpit, intending to put an end to this lunacy. When he opened the door, he didn't find the pilot. He did find a parachute was missing though.

"ITALY! YOUR PILOT ABANDONED US!"

"You're not serious? Huh. Oh well! We can have an adventure all by ourselves!"

"An adventure?" Germany asked dead faced.

"Sure! It will be exciting! Two best friends making their way through the vicious wilds to return to civilization and pasta!" Let's see where we can land!"

"...Best friends?" Germany thought to himself, I hadn't realized he may have already taken a liking to me... Even though I've been patronizing him. Maybe he's a better person than he seems.

"Hey Germany! The 'E' on the fuel gauge stands for 'Extra Full' right?"

***One horrible crash landing later***

"Now that wasn't so bad was it?" Asked Italy as he put Germany's left leg in a splint.

Germany only glared through his tear rimmed eyes in pain.

"You just wait here, okay Germany? I'll go get us some gas to get home! Maybe a new plane to go with it!"

"Italy, where could you possibly-"

"I think I see a big house over there, maybe they'll lend us some? I'll be right back big-buddy! I'll make you proud!" Italy yipped proudly and strutted off. Germany only sat and let tears stream down his face, uncertain whether they were from the pain or something else.

Italy eagerly approached the spacious estate. Despite being located in the middle of the desert, it had a lush garden and a large field of trimmed grass surrounded by a series of steel rods painted black comprising a crude fence. In the expanse a large, marble, water fountain sat carved with cherubic figures. The house itself was rather tall-maybe three stories Italy wondered-but quite narrow. It was painted a deep, dark blue and trimmed with a bright green, and sported white Greek columns supporting a balcony on the second floor.

Italy made it to the large door and gingerly knocked on it, hoping for the best.

A short, bespectacled, dark-skinned man with a wide nose opened the door. He held a dour look on his face.

"Hi!" Italy said brightly "I'm Italy!"

The man slammed the door in his face.

Italy stood dumbstruck with a hurt look on his face like the man had kicked a kitten in front of him. Wondering if he'd done something wrong the first time, he knocked again.

After a moment the door opened a crack and the troll-like figure called out, "Go away!"

"Hi, I'm Italy! Who are you?" Italy responded.

The figure hesitated before answering, "Ethiopia. What do you want?"

"My plane crashed not too far away from here, it ran out of gas. Would it be okay if I could borrow some fuel?"

"Borrow you say?" Ethiopia says with no small amount of intrigue in his voice, and his head pops out slightly. "So you mean after using it to get back to your home you're going to return it?"

Italy stood dumbstruck again, while Ethiopia opened his door wide and started laughing at the poor European.

"Um... I suppose I could pay you back later?"

"Not a chance. Nobody's going to steal from me!"

"But I won't! I'll pay you back when I get home!" Italy pleaded. "Or maybe I can pay another way now; I can cook! I can cook you delicious traditional Italian cuisine such as pasta and-"

"Sounds disgusting." Ethiopia shoots back. "Leave me alone."

Italy hesitates, his eyes beginning to brim with tears. He is evidently hurt as he says, "Mr. Ethiopia... How can you not like pasta?"

"Easily." He snorts.

"You know what... I'm beginning to think you don't even have fuel for me to use." Italy says, searching for some way to retort back.

"Mr. Italy, you should know that I, Ethiopia, have an abundance of natural resources. I have oil and gas! But you aren't getting your filthy mitts on them! Have a rotten day Italy!" He slams the door again, leaving Italy a quivering mess on the doorstep.

After a moment Italy began to walk down the steps, unsure of what to do. How can I face Germany after this? I bet he'd know what to do, he's so manly and buff and big and impressive and-

He realized he had stopped in front of a posh rock garden, and his eyes were drawn to a particular, jagged rock. He picked it up and felt it rough, sharp edges against his hand.

He didn't know how it happened, but he found himself by the big bay window-now shattered-with the rock absent from his hand. Italy climbed in throuch the window, pausing a moment as the shards tore at his skin and clothes before stepping purposefully into the parlor. Ethiopia rushed into the room with a mortified look on his face and bandishing a heavy light fixture. Italy viciously threw himself at Ethiopia with his hands outstretched, but Ethiopia managed to land a heavy blow on Italy, sending him back.

"You little vagrant! Do you have any idea how expensive it will be to fix that window?!" Ethiopia snarled.

Italy only threw himself at his quarry again, he managed to get hold of Ethiopia's right foot and twisted it violently. Ethiopia keeled over screaming in fury and brought the heavy rod down on Italy again, giving him a deep gash on the back of his head. Italy fell prone at his feet, blood trailing out of his mouth. Ethiopia kicked Italy with his good foot and stomped on his hand. Italy's eyes brimmed with painful tears and emitted a little whimper.

"You're bleeding all over my carpet!" Ethiopia screamed and pummeled him with the fixture one, two, three, four more times. Italy gave out a rattling gasp and passed unconscious on the floor. Upon this Ethiopia pulled himself out of his rage and stared smugly at the fallen man.

Ethiopia grabbed Italy by the legs and dragged him over the broken glass into the main hall then kicked him again for good measure.

"I'll teach you, you little fart." He grumbles to himself. He opened the door, intending to throw him out. He didn't get the chance to turn around, Germany had propped himself against the water fountain and had his Luger leveled at the door. Before Ethiopia could so much as utter a curse Germany fired off two bullets into his chest.

Germany crawled his way over Ethiopia to the unconscious Italy and cradled him in his arms.

"You poor, stupid... brave, lovable fool." He said through tears streaming down his cheeks. "I should've realized there'd be trouble, as soon as I saw him slam the door in your face I knew something bad would happen."

He sighed and tore off a piece of Ethiopia's robe to begin bandaging up Italy's head, praying to any god who'd listen to please help his new found friend.

"Are we there yet?"

"No Italy. We still have many miles to go."

"...Soooo... Are we there yet?"

Germany sighed and let his head drop into his palms. Three days had passed since the encounter at Ethiopia's house, for which Italy was unconscious of two of them. When he woke up Germany had already found a raido and called for them to be picked up. Germany lifted his head out of his hands and smiled. "You tell me Italy, are we there yet?"

Italy laughed, "There we go Germany! I have no idea!"

Germany, despite his best efforts, gave a little chuckle.

They sat silently across from each other, Germany could see that something was troubling Italy. After the tension had built up Italy finally spoke. "Germany," he began hesitantly "you never told me what happened back there."

Germany paused. What do I tell him? he thought I suppose he thought he did it all for me but...

"Because you see Germany, I don't remember a single thing. I don't even remember how we crash landed in the first place."

Germany's voice wavered, but not enough to tell he was biting back bitter tears. Now I know I can't tell him! It'd break his heart. I must be brave... "I went to the big house-Ethiopia's right? And I asked him for some fuel. Instead he started to beat me, that's how I broke my leg. You came and saved me, you fought him off and conquered him."

"But my head...?"

Germany let out a hearty laugh fueled by his tears "You went to make me some pasta and hit your head in the wine cellar!" Italy burst out in histerical laughter and the two friends went rolling on the floor. Germany was the first to recover, suddenly serious as usual, "Now does that answer all of your questions Italy?"

"Sure does! ... Thanks Germany."

"You're welcome." He says with a smile. Smiling? Laughing? I can't believe this!

Italy picks himself up. "I'm going to have a chat with the pilot real quick! I'll be right back!"

Germany sets himself down and frowns with concern. Joy? Am I having fun? This is somewhat out of character for me, I'll have to watch myself more carefully. Still... He adds with a sigh and a sleight smile He's... Fun to be around. There never seems to be a dull moment.

"Hey Germany!" Italy shouts from the cockpit. "The 'E' stands for 'Extra Full', right?"

*Disclaimer: I am aware that there is a fan character depicting Ethiopia as a girl. However because there doesn't appear to be anything official on the matter, I have an Ethiopia I'd prefer to use for purpose of this story. To avoid trouble, I'd like to point out that Ethiopia was conquered by Italy, maybe the Ethiopia here can represent the pre-Italian-occupied Ethiopia? Sound good?*