xi. Love And Let Go

I was sitting in a restaurant when she called. I pulled out my sleek phone, which seemed so delicate in my fingers, just like her. Everything I saw around me, even the graceful roses set on the middle on my table reminded me of her.

"Yeah, I'm at the French restaurant downtown. Come soon, OK? I have to tell you something."

I didn't want to do this.

But I had promised him.

"Dad?" He looked up at me, furiously rubbing at his bloodshot eyes. I was taken aback by the sight of him, because the only other time I had seen him like this was after my previous mother's death. Sure, I had been very young when she had passed away, but the look I had seen on my father's face that day had been engraved into my mind.

"I guess I'm just unlucky to be with," He said, trying very hard to smile through his plight. "First your mother, and now As-"

"Dad." I said again, my tone adamant and stubborn. I hated it when he blamed himself at times like these.

"Where's your brother?" He asked, his voice filled with concern.

"Still in the ER. He hasn't moved yet." I looked down, away from my father's eyes. I was a coward at that time. Looking into people's faces, when they were filled with tears and hurt scared me.

He didn't say anything in response. The silence continued on for a while, and I was just about to get up, when he started talking again.

"You know, I regret not being able to be the perfect husband." I looked at him curiously. But he didn't turn to glance at me back. His eyes were fixed straight at the wall ahead. They were those same scary eyes, not the warm hazel ones he usually held.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, I truly loved your mother. When she died, I was devastated. The only reason I didn't completely give up hope was because of you. I felt like I had to go on living, just for your sake." I placed my hand on his, and he finally looked at me and smiled.

"Two years later, when you were three, I met her. She was so lively...and at first I hated it. Her happiness...I was envious of it. She had never experienced it; the pain of losing someone." I settled back comfortably, on the hard, metal hospital chair. Its coldness dug through my spine.

"She was working under me on a particular project, and I pushed her to the limits. I hated myself for it, even till now. Still, she never complained. She did whatever I asked her to do, and that too with a smile on her face. I think, somewhere along the way, I fell in love with her." He looked up at the blinding lights, and grinned as if he were staring up at the summer sun.

"One day, when we were on the verge of completing our project, with just a few days left, I had asked her to meet me at a restaurant to discuss last minute details. She had, of course, agreed happily, just like she always did. However, when I went to meet her, I saw her talking to a man at the restaurant. She was smiling at him and chatting excitedly, like how she did with me and all the others. He could've have been her friend, or acquaintance or whatever, but what I saw made me angry. I straightway charged in there, took her hand, and exited the building with her, forcefully pulling her out."

I looked at him, my eyes widened. He had never told me about this. "W-what?" I managed to splutter out.

"I was walking as fast as I could, my hand still tightly clasped around her wrist. She was telling me to stop, but I didn't until we were at least five blocks away from that restaurant. And that's when I let her go. I even managed to utter a barely audible 'sorry'. But she didn't calm down. She shouted at me, demanding an explanation for all of this. It was a side of her I had never seen, one which probably no one had ever seen."

"Then what happened?" He looked at me.

"Then I wrapped her up in a hug. I finally confessed to her, and she hugged me back too. I was jealous that she had been smiling at someone else, but that didn't matter anymore. She smiled at everyone...but I was the only one whom she showed her agitated side to."

I patted his back, comforting him, as we sat silently, not uttering a single word.

"After that, I always kept her happy. I never made her angry, especially not in front of others. The angry side of her, I wanted to keep it to myself, no matter what. I was extremely protective of her. So much that, I didn't give her space to breath. I was always checking up on her, and I got jealous of the simplest of things."

"Oh." I was not sure what to say in a situation like this.

"Promise me one thing." He said, his tone grave. "You'll always treasure the person you love."

"I promise."

"You'll always protect the person you love."

"I promise.

"You'll always put her needs before yours."

"I promise."

He let out a content sigh, and I was happy to have made him happy. After a whil, I got up, when his words stopped me yet again.

"And Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"If you truly love that person, you'll ignore all that I just said."

After that statement, I had wanted to ask him so many questions. But I kept them in, because his eyes has finally regained their normal color.

Over the course, I've had a lot of girlfriends. However, they always broke up with me, saying I didn't 'love them'."

Then I met Amy. After meeting her, I finally understood his words. I did everything, he told, except the last thing he had told me. I still hadn't understood what that had meant.

But then one day, I realized it.

I was over protective of Amy, just like he had been over Astrid. I did everything to protect her, but without noticing her own feelings. I didn't care that she, too, had emotions. I loved her, that is why my only goal was to keep her safe.

I had to let go. What he meant, when he told me to ignore his previous words, was that I had to let her go. I couldn't always fulfill her needs, always keep her safe, if she didn't always want to be with me.

In other words, I was suffocating her.

As I saw her enter the restaurant, my heart skipped a beat. I nervously gripped the handles of my chair. And when she came face to face with me, smiling, I let it out.

"Amy. I think we should break up..."

I'm sorry if this was confusing. And for the late update.

Still hope you liked it. Also, a huge thank you to the reviewers. You're amazing, awesome...and a whole lot of other positive adjectives.

-Ghost.