Dudes, it's done. Yup this is OVER. Sorry I didn't mean to end it so soon, but wtw. Have other ideas. Hope you enjoyed and I hope I made it realistic enough. I don't own shizzle and goodbye.

The blond dept collector sat on the floor, eating his sushi. His gaze was fixed on the screen as he brought pieces of the food automatically to his mouth. A smaller raven was sitting between his legs, wrapped up in a blanket and eating otoro, his gaze just as intense as the blonds.

Shizuo and Izaya were on a try-out date, which involved sitting in front of the TV in their pajamas, watching a desperately bad horror movie and eating Russia sushi. Admittedly, it was not the most romantic idea ever, but Shizuo, due to his scary demeanor, was never on a real date and Izaya just wasn't a romantic kind of guy. Nevertheless, to them it was fine. They were both comfortable and content as the TV filled in the lack of conversation.

Every now and then Izaya would make a snarky remark on the account of characters lack of intellect and Shizuo would agree with an incoherent gruff as he continued shoving food in his mouth.

It was simple, plain and domestic. No big exclamations of never ending love, no grand plans for unforgettable dates, just getting used to be near each other. Just getting comfortable with each other.

Izaya, who was so desperate to gain approval of his monster, found that he liked it this way more. There was no fuss or worry about looking good for each other. There was no need to impress. Shizuo took care of him for weeks now, saw him at his lowest. They lived together and saw each other in all kinds of situations.

There was no need to impress. No need to claw out that approval and love.

Not anymore, not here.

The transition to lovers was so natural; the informant could hardly believe it. Sure the rode to get there was hard and Izaya suffered a great deal from all the hate world bore down on him…

…but right now, in this simple little moment…

He felt happy.

Truly happy.

For the first time in the long time.

It felt right.

Shizuo, still unsure of his feelings, found that he felt quite comfortable being with the informant in this way. Which was strange enough, because the position they were in, left them with pretty much no personal space. But it felt good. Izaya's body on his felt warm and fit in perfectly, just like they were made for each other. The raven, to Shizuo's surprise, didn't try to pull of any shenanigans. He didn't try to kiss him or start anything. He just sat there and commented on the movie, pointing out the hilarious details Shizuo never thought about before.

It was so natural and so warm.

Even when Izaya fell asleep on him, probably tired out from the long day, Shizuo found that he didn't mind. On the contrary, he thought the raven looked quite cute resting on him like that, curled up with his mouth slightly opened.

Somehow he managed to look silly, cute and beautiful at the same time.

And Shizuo loved it.

Time skip

The two ex-enemies walked down the street, heading to the blonde's apartment. Izaya has just finished another one of his therapy sessions and Shizuo was glad to see that the younger male didn't feel tired enough to have to be carried. Quite the contrary. The raven skipped next to him in his well known way, chatting about this and that. Even while he was skipping, the smaller hand was still firmly holding on to the larger one. He still needed reassurance that he was okay, that it was fine to act the way he did, that Shizuo didn't judge him or hate him. But he was smiling. For real this time. The dept collector smiled warmly.

Izaya was getting better.

"Ne, ne, Shizu-chan, what's so funny?"

The taller one leaned down and kissed his forehead; "I love your smile."

Izaya stared at him for a bit before huffing; "You're weird, Shizu-chan. And you weren't listening to me at all!"

Shizuo rolled his eyes; "Whiny brat."

Izaya huffed; "Just because you don't pay attention to anything I say. Ne, is Shizu-chan's Neanderthal brain having trouble keeping up~?"

Shizuo ignored the pestering, seeing as Izaya's hand was still holding on to his. He couldn't go scaring Izaya away. Not at this point when the younger male was so vulnerable to him. He knew Izaya didn't like to look weak and often kept up his act so it would look like things are normal. Which is why sometimes it was hard for Shizuo to tell when raven was alright and when he was faking it.

"Izaya, are you feeling better?"

"Awww, is Shizu-chan worried about me? How cute~ Rest assured, I'm fit as a fiddle!" The raven chirped giving him an enthusiastic grin.

"Do you still think everybody hates you?"

"…"

Shizuo turned his head to find Izaya's shoulders slumped down and his gaze locked on to the cement bellow them, seemingly in concentration.

"Izaya…?"

"It's hard not to think so, when everybody does hate you, ne, Shizu-chan?" The informant's voice was void of all previous happiness and Shizuo felt a pang of guilt.

He was sorry for asking.

But now he had to make it better.

"That's not true."

"It's not, huh. Do you know how many death treats I get daily just for being me?"

Shizuo's fist clenched, his temper boiling. Izaya wasn't a saint. He messed with people and hurt them. Shizuo knew that. He himself was the target of so many of Izaya's little experiments and he himself honestly hated the flea until few months back. When he finally saw what was really going on...

Izaya was a manipulative bastard who did everything to be noticed, have his presence acknowledged by people. But he was trying to get better. He really was. He deserved a second chance. If Shizuo of all people could forgive him and let him start anew, what was stopping the rest?

He sighed and ruffled the younger ones hair "I don't hate you, flea."

Izaya smiled slightly; "I know Shizu-chan."

Shizuo was the one who hated him the most. Shizuo was the first to let him try again. Try again to fit in, showing him that he didn't have to be a monster. That it was okay to need help.

"Say, Izaya…how did all this start?"

"Ne, ne, did Shizu-chan already forgot? I tried to throw myself of your building and straight into the comforting hands of ever welcoming death~"

Shizuo tched; "Don't talk like that, it's weird. What are you, Shakespeare? Besides I didn't mean that. Why did you want to kill yourself in the first place?"

Izaya huffed and pouted; "I already have to talk about this to my psychiatrist, isn't that enough?"

"I want to know. Your doctor never tells me anything."

"He's not supposed to Shizu-chan. Doctor-patient confidentiality, remember~?"

"Yeah, whatever, just fucking tell me."

"But I already told you, didn't I? Everybody hated me."

Shizuo frowned; "That's no reason to kill yourself. I mean, everyone hates me and I don't-"

"That's where you are wrong Shizu-chan. Comparing yourself to me, what an obvious mistake. Silly brute~"

"…what?"

"Ne, some people maybe are afraid of you, but those who know you, know that you are just a big teddy bear on the inside~"

Shizuo's eyebrow twitched and he glared at the smirking informant; "Hey watch it, flea!"

Despite the warning the said flea continued on; "You have lots of friends, Tom, Simon, Shinra, Celty, your brother, your coworker, Vorona was it? Hell, even my own sisters like you more then me. Should I keep going~?"

Shizuo grumbled, lighting a cigarette to distract himself from the obviously fake smirk on Izaya's face. The bastard had a point.

"But there must be people that like you. There is me."

Izaya chuckled; "Do you really count as human, Shizu-chan?"

The blond glared at the raven warningly; "What, you calling me a monster?"

"Yup!" The raven chirped, seemingly oblivious to the elder's bad temper; "My own monster, how exciting, ne~"

"You better shut up while you still can, flea."

"Hai, hai, monster-san!"

"FLEA!" Shizuo's battle roar echoed the streets and Izaya's hand quickly slipped out of his own.

The informant giggled and ran away, calling out; "Monster-san, monster-san!" as the said monster rampaged after him, yelling every curse that crossed his mind.

Izaya grinned as he danced his way from Shizuo's reach. He was glad he managed to avoid the subject. Talking about it once today was more then enough. Besides, while avoiding the said subject he managed to remind Shizuo of all the people who held him for a friend. That must have cheered him up a bit. He silently congratulated himself as yet again the fuming Shizuo circled the corner. Masterful work as always.

Shizuo growled out as he once again spotted the slippery flea that he was in pursue off. His mind was blank from all other emotions except from anger towards the bastard that kept pushing all of his buttons just right. Even when they started a relationship, even fucking then, Izaya just couldn't keep his big fat mouth shut for even a second. It really made Shizuo lose it.

Which is why he was delighted to notice that Izaya took a wrong turn and ended up closed in a dead end ally. Fucking serves him right!

Izaya scratched the back of his head as he grinned at Shizuo sheepishly; "Ne, Shizu-chan, seems like my knowledge of the city is a bit rusty. Seriously, you're out of the game for few months and they close of your favorite escape rout. What's with that, right~? Ne, how about you just let me go~?"

However the nearing monster had other plans as he pinned the smaller male to the wall and glared at him through the purple shades.

"Sealed of your escape rout, huh?"

Izaya chuckled nervously, trying to read what Shizuo was about to do. But the blond beast was as unreadable as ever.

"Yeah, it seems so Shizu-chan."

"You know what that means right?"

Izaya's forehead scrunched up in confusion; "Eh, whatever could you-EEEH, LET ME DOWN, YOU BRUT!"

Shizuo picked him up bridal style and walked out of the alleyway with a very pleased look on his face and a very pissed of Izaya in his hands.

"No more running away, flea!"

Time skip

There were good days. There were days when Izaya seemed like his old self. Laughing and teasing and just being an annoying but lovable flea Shizuo knew so well. The blond loved those days. He could tell from the morning how Izaya felt and if it was a good day, they would usually spend the time outside, as Shizuo believed that the fresh air helped Izaya stay in the good mood.

Sometimes they would go on dates. Shizuo picked up a lot of advices and ideas from his friends, but they would usually end up in Russia Sushi, visiting Simon and Dennis who would always chat with Izaya concerned for his health and very glad that he was doing alright.

Sometimes they would just stay inside. Watching dumb movies and eating junk food on which Izaya generally scowled upon, saying that Shizuo was making him fat, which the blond found hilarious, seeing as the informant was as thin as broomstick and could probably use some fat on his bones.

Izaya still worked, though on Simon's and Shizuo's persuasion, he now only did informant work for the police. He claimed it was not as entertaining, but at least he was in the clean business now and not everyone wanted to kill him.

And then…

There were bad days.

Days when Shizuo found himself helpless against Izaya's depression. Days when Izaya would yell at him, telling him that he knew Shizuo never really loved him, he just pitied him. Just like Simon did. Just like everyone did. Because he was miserable and disgusting thing not worth of love.

He was a monster.

The real monster.

Shizuo would try to comfort him, reminding him of all the nice times they had together. Some of which were just the day before. Izaya rarely believed him. He claimed it all a lie and would often lock himself into his room and Shizuo would be left outside to listen to his sobs. To listen to the evil words the raven told himself. He would listen attentively, worry clawing at his stomach, because he knew…if Izaya went silent for too long, he was trying to take his own life away again.

Shizuo could no longer count all the times he took the razor from Izaya's hands. All the times he washed the blood from his wrists and held the crying informant through the night. All the times when Izaya broke up with him, saying that it was all a lie in the first place, only to apologize the next second because he didn't want him to be mad at him.

All the times he questioned his feelings, Izaya's feelings. Their entire relationship.

All the times Izaya assured him it was just the depression talking.

Times when Izaya would scream at him to get away from him.

Times when Izaya would scream at him not to leave him.

It was torturous to watch.

He didn't want to know how it was to feel that way.

So no matter how many of those uncountable things happened, Shizuo stayed.

Because Izaya needed him.

Because Shizuo was his light.

Because Shizuo loved him.

one year later

Shizuo smiled fondly as he watched Izaya gulp down his bellowed otoro. He still remembered the time when the raven would barely spare the food a second glance. But that was long over now. Izaya was officially of the medications and of the therapy. Shinra was quite recalculate and nervous, reminding them over and over again to tell him if anything seemed wrong.

But everything was all right.

Izaya laughed again. His real laugh and not some cheap, fake knock off. He ate and slept well. He teased everyone around him and when he got teased back there was no longer that glint of sadness in his eyes.

The duo officially moved in together, though Shizuo bought a better place to live in with all the money Izaya left him when he planed to die. He tried to give it back, but Izaya waved him off saying that he already earned twice as much since he restarted his job. A fact that Shizuo didn't bother to doubt.

Even though Shizuo had enough money to retire if he wanted, he still continued on with his dept collector job, while Izaya worked from home, pissing of the police officers more often then helping them, much to Shizuo's dismay.

They never brought up the year of Izaya's depression. Not directly. Though, Shizuo would often ask Izaya how he was feeling and Izaya would every now and then possessively take over his lap, demanding to be hugged.

There were never any signs of things going south again. The raven, like everybody, had his moody days, but none of them compared even close to what was behind them.

His world had color once again.

A soft, gentle shade of yellow painted his days making every single one look bright and happy.

Shizuo was glad. Even though Izaya could be a pain in the neck, he was still lovable in his own, annoying little way.

They went through a lot together. Shizuo managed to pull Izaya out of his dark pit of self-loathing. Izaya managed to help Shizuo finally find love. Real love that didn't judge him and that wasn't afraid of him. They trusted each other and they loved each other.

And now, while Shizuo was reflecting on those times that had passed, the victory's he managed to pull out, he hoped one more was ahead of him.

He pulled the velvet box containing a ring in it out of his pocket and called Izaya's name.

Izaya turned around and smiled; "Yes, Shizu-chan?"