I watched as Tracy's eyes filled with panic and absolute pain. Her eyes began to leak tears that began to fall down her face in a dangerously steady flow. I stood there briefly as I watched my best friend fall apart in front of me. I enclose Tracy's frame inside my own arms hoping to absorb some of her pain. Jerry is gone. And Tracy is alone. I could feel Tracy's sobs as I held her tightly to me. I lead her over to one of the sofas the hospital had. My own watery eyes let tears drip from them as Tracy's pain became unwavering.

After hours of sitting on the same spot with Tracy right beside me she slowly began to sit up. I looked up at her with concern as I lifted myself of the sofa. Her eyes seemed empty and sad as she stared ahead of her. Her cheeks were stained by violent tear tracks. She tilted her head back slightly staring at the ceiling. "I want to go home." She said softly as she began to walk with unsure steps. But never once did she look back. I just followed Tracy as she walked out the hospital doors. The cold dark air enveloped us into the night as we walked out through the parking lot. She spotted my squad car and opened the passenger side door. She crumpled into the seat she tucked her knees to her chest and let her head rest on her knees.

The station had been quiet the days after the funeral. No one seemed to want to interfere with the respectful quiet. Everyone seemed to avoid the usually joking that always lightened the mood. But the world didn't stop because everyone in the station and department was mourning a loss of a great detective.

"I should have gone with Jerry last night. But instead I went with you." Sam said as he stared straight into my eyes.

"Are you blaming me?" I asked as my eyes began to water. But I wasn't going to cry right now. Not in front of Sam and not on duty.

"I don't know McNally but all I know is I should have gone with him." Sam turned away from me and began walking away. I sighed harshly as I watched Sam's retreating figure walk out the doors.

"Car crash on Breakneck road, one adult and two children, both children's current state unknown, male adult seems to be in pretty bad shape, immediate ambulance and officer attention." The voice of a female dispatcher came over the radio catching the attention of Chris and me. Chris informed the dispatcher we were on our way and would be arriving in less than ten minutes.

I turned on the lights and siren and pushed the gas petal down to achieve a faster speed. Accidents were always and 50/50 chance; either everyone was in bad shape or everyone came out with barley a scratch. But we never assumed the best. It was our job to expect the worst and prepare for it and then deal with the situation when it happens. Otherwise you cost someone else's life or your own. Maybe that's why Sam broke things of with me. He always expected the worst he couldn't even imagine a 'happy ending'. Because when you're a cop you put your life on the line every day. And it's always scaring for the person your with to except that you could die when you leave to go to work. I shook my head trying to clear any thoughts that did not pertain to the current situation at hand.

We turned down the road which is a rarely used back road. And since not a lot of people use this road the city didn't find it necessary to have the road paved over. A lot of dead branches dangled from the trees like broken and mangled limbs. Lingering hazards that cars pass under every day.

As we pulled up to the scene and hoped out of the squad car I yell at Chris to grab the medical bag out of the trunk. As I take in the scene I see that the cause of this accident was indeed caused by Mother Nature. But instead of a dead tree branch this time it was the entire tree. It entire core seemed to be eaten away at leaving a grotesque appearance. The heavy and obviously very old tree had toppled onto the road like a rag doll tossed aside.

I didn't take any more time looking at the scene in front of me. I ran over to the driver's side of the car. It was hard to see much of what was inside the front seat since it was full of the tree's dead branches and broken glass. But the driver who seemed to be a middle aged man was slumped over the steering wheel. I reach out my two fingers and pressed the against his pulse point feeling for a pulse. I finally located the slow and faint pulse against his pale throat.

Chris came up beside me and looked at the man in front of us. The man groaned in agony and peeled open his eyes. He scanned our faces and winced at the afternoon sun.

"My daughters." He groaned as he instinctively clutched at his bloodied stomach. I nod my head a Chris and walked over to the back of the car. Chris snatched the medical bag and began taking out whatever he needed to get the man stabilized enough for when the medics come.

I tugged at the already falling off and began to reach into the smashed backside of the car. The roof was caved in and the glass shattered. I spotted both little girls immediately. One was crying as she held her younger sister against her chest. The one girl who was very much alert with tears streaming down her cheeks seemed to be around seven. Her sister was on her left side, the side furthest from where I stood. She was slumped over leaning against her sister and was boosted up by a flowery car seat.

"Why isn't she moving?" the one older sister wailed as she shook at the younger girl who seemed to be only two years old. "Daisy? Daisy? Daisy?" The girl questioned her younger sister as she shook her shoulder repeatedly.

"No! Don't move her, okay? Its better if she stays very still." I say softly as I move into the interior of car. I reach over to the younger girl and unbuckle her from her seat belt. "What's your name? My name is Andy." I say as I look into the younger girls emerald girl eyes.

"Rose." She says quietly and briefly glances up at me before looking back down at her sister. "Are you going to help my sister?" she asks looking at me again with her emerald eyes glazed over with tears.

"Yes. But I'm going to need you to do something really brave for me. Okay?" I asked as I moved closer to the girl as I fought my way through the dangerous bent metals.

"Anything." She said as she bobbed her head as she brushed her sisters sticky blood cover locks off her face.

"I'm going to need you to switch places with me. I know you don't want to leave your sister but I'm going to need to get her out of that car seat." I said as I reached out my hand to her.

"Okay." She said as she kissed the top of her sisters head. I cut the seat belt with my knife and with the other hand held the younger girls head in place.

"Be careful. When you get out go and sit inside the squad car, okay?" She nodded as she easily slipped between the maze of the smashed car.

"I'm out!" she called out to me as I sat into the cushion of the car. The car seat seemed to be smashed so I would need to cut at the restraints to get her out. I began the quick movements of sliding the blade back and forth against the strong material. Once I cut all the material I began to examine her injuries. I knew she was alive by her quick laboring breathes so I felt around her body checking for any injuries besides the cut on her head. And indeed on her left shoulder I blunt piece of plastic that had snapped of the door was now jutting into her shoulder. The plastic pierced straight through her shoulder into the cushion material of the car seat.

"Chris!" I called out to Chris as I began to smell smoke.

"I know!" He yelled out as I heard him grunting trying to pry the driver's side door. Then I heard the drop of metal and the same frantic cutting against the seat belt. I refocused my attention and gripped the plastic. On the count of three with steady hands I pulled the plastic out from the car seat but not from her shoulder; since that would cause excess bleeding. I lifted her from the car seat, cradling her small body in my arms. I tried to steady her head in my hand as I pushed against the obstacles to get out of the car.

"Rose, grab me the blanket from the back seat." I said and seconds later the girl came out with the blanket extended from her hands. "Lay it down on the street for me." I asked as she began unfolding it and laying it out of the street. The blanket was thick and soft and would offer some comfort, even on the hard ground.

I ran over to the medical bag and grabbed the gauze and medical tape. I ran over to Daisy and stabilized her shoulder wound while I examine her head injury. I had Rose the gauze and told her to apply pressure to it.

I ran back to Chris as he was trying to lift the bleeding man from the front seat. I began to help him lift him out as the car began to burn in flames.

I helped lay the man out on the road next to his daughter. Soon, I began to see the blinking lights and the wailing sirens of an ambulance coming down the road.

~~~
"That was a tough one." Chris said as we walked out of the station together. I nodded as I thought about the car crash we had today. It was a tough on, especially having to inform the wife that the doctors weren't sure if they good save her husband. But her daughters were going to be okay and that we got them out just in time. There was nothing left for us to do besides hope that each one of them will make it out okay. We did everything we could. And that's exactly what I told Chris.

"I know." He said softly as he looked up at the sky. "I just don't get it sometimes." I knew what Chris meant by that. How could something so horrible happen to people who are so happy, It finally feels like everything is okay and everyone is happy. And then something completely random happens and it's like your entire world fell apart.

"I know." I say as I pat Chris on the shoulder and turn to make my way back to my car. I start walking over to my car parked a few spaces down.

"Hey Andy!" He calls out to me as he jogs over to where I stood looking back at him. "Are you okay?" He asks gently as he examines my face.

"Yeah. I'm okay, Chris." And that was the first time I lied to Chris.

I woke up early to the sound of the thunder outside my window. I turn my head to look at my alarm clock on my bed. I groan as I notice the time was around 3:30 in the morning. I tried to focus on falling back asleep. But I was haunted by what Sam said. Maybe it was my fault that Jerry died. Sam went with me because I convinced Jerry that it was the bartender. If I had just agreed with Jerry to question the cab driver none of this would have happened.

Now Jerry is dead. Now Tracey is alone. And it's my fault.

I slide out from my bed and walk into my kitchen. I crack open the fridge and scan the shelves for a snack. I grab a Greek yogurt and pull back the top. I grab a spoon from the cabinet and begin slipping the thick key lime yogurt into my mouth. I sat down on the couch and considered turning on the tv.

I reached for the remote when I heard someone yelling in the apartment next to mine. I put down my yogurt and grabbed my gun from my nightstand, just to be prepared.

I reached the apartment and knocked on the door. A disgruntled man opened the door and stared me down. His cheeks were burning red and his eyes seemed to be darker than I remember when I met him.

"Now isn't a good time, Miss. McNally." He said as calmly as he could and began to shut the door. But I pressed my hand on the door not letting him close me out.

"I heard some yelling. Can I come in and make sure everything is okay?" I ask him as I peer into the apartment from behind his shoulder. He nods stiffly realizing that I wasn't going to go. I started to walk down the hallway towards the bedroom when I realized the rest of the apartment was clear.

Inside the bedroom Mrs. Leo was on the bed crying on top of another man. She was in a nightgown and her hair was a mess. The man was wearing boxers but his face on the other hand was smashed in. I began to pull out my gun when Mr. Leo grabbed my wrist. He reached and grabbed my gun from me and tucked it into his jeans.

"This is what I come home to. My wife screwing around with some collage kid." He is yelling now and pointing at Mrs. Leo. "You know what she said to me?" He said as he spins me around to question me. I shake my head. "I think you should leave."

"We're getting divorced, psycho! I could sleep with whoever I wanted!" Mrs. Leo screamed back as she held the man's bloodied face in her lap.

"No! You wanted to get divorced! I never agree to let you go." He said as he took two large steps to the foot of the bed; dragging me along with him.

"Because you're crazy! Look what you did! You killed Will!" She yelled as she furiously wiped at the blood on Will's face.

"You think I care? How about I kill you along with him? You deserve it you cheating slut!" Mr. Leo bellowed as he grabbed the lamp from the nightstand and held it above Mrs. Leo's head.

"No!" I yelled as I tried to stop Mr. Leo from smashing the lamp down on Mrs. Leo. But I was too late as I watched him bring down the lamp with speed and power down onto Mrs. Leo. The lamp shattered glass down and it rained down onto Mrs. Leo as it connected with her head.

"No!" I said as I ran over to Mrs. Leo. She was still alive but she was seriously injured. I picked up the phone and dialed 911. I began to yell out the apartment's address and apartment number. I got to saying to send over police and an ambulance before Mr. Leo took the phone.

"What did you do?" He grabbed my shoulders and shook them hard in a harsh grip.

"I'm trying to help you. It will only be worse for you if she dies too." I said trying to negotiate with him and make it seem like I'm on his side. The first thing you want the subject to think is that he isn't alone. You have to make the subject feel like you're on his side and that everything you do is in his best interest.

"Look, Mr. Leo, I know what it's like to get cheated on. It really sucks. But you have to know I'm on your side, okay?" I told him as I tried to calm him down.

"No. You're a cop. You're paid to feed me bullshit about how you're on my side and that everything is going to be okay." He said throwing his hands in up and gesturing to the blood soaked sheets. "You're too involved now." He sighed as he unraveled his belt from his jean hoops. He then began to tightly tie my wrists together behind my back. The leather began to grind against the smooth skin there.

"No, I really do understand your predicament. But taking a cop hostage is not the answer; trust me." I said as I lifted my eyes to meet his dark blue ones.

"I don't plan on taking you hostage." He said simply as he brushed my hair of my forehead. He leaned in close to my face so that I could feel his hot breathe against my cheek. "I plan on killing you." He said as he brushed his lips against mine as I tossed my head away from him. He grabbed my chin with a stern hand and then I remember him kicking out my knees. And then a foggy darkness swarmed my line of sight from all angles.

"Good to see you're awake." He said as he examined the cut on my forehead. "I have a lake house out here. I'll get you and the two other ones and get something to weigh your bodies down and toss you in the lake." He said shrugging as he pulled into gravel drive ways which lead up to a pretty big house with a wraparound front porch. He stepped out of the car once he parked it and got around to my side of the car. He studied my face as he lifted his hand to bursh my cheek.

"I always found you so pretty, Miss. McNally." He clucked his tounge against the roof of his mouth and shook his head. "Its a shame, really. For such a pretty face to be stone cold dead in just a few hours."

He scoped me up from the back seat considering I couldn't walk with the duct tape that was wrapped around up to my shins. My hands were also secured behind my back with zip ties and duct tape was planted across my mouth.

He started to climb up a set of wood steps holding me bridal style. He tossed me onto the bed and took a syringe out of his back pocket.

"Perks of being a veterinarian." He said casually as he walked closer to me. He put both legs on either side of my waist. He used all his weight to constrict me from fighting against him. "Don't worry it's a mild medication used to calm feral animals. You'll be awake in a few hours." He pushed the needle into the vein on my neck and within seconds the darkness invaded.

I awoke to complete darkness; besides the glow from the moon coming in from the window. I groaned at the stiffness in my neck. A tear slipped from my eye as the burning from the zip ties sawed into the skin on my wrists and the pain radiated from my neck.

"Good to see you're awake." Mr. Leo said as he examined the mark on my neck. He pressed a kissed to the brusing from the large needle on my neck and I tried to move away from him.

"I always liked you, Miss McNally. But I was firmly against cheating; unlike my wife. I was more of an admirer. But I guess now that she's dead there is nothing holding me back from doing what I wanted to do all along." He said as he rolled on top of me. My screams were muffled by the duct tape and I had no way of defending myself. My arms were tied behind me and my legs were taped. I was absolutely defenseless as he grabbed my hips.

"What's so repulsive about me? Not even my own wife or you want me." he said as unbuttoned my pajama shirt. I began to manically toss myself side to side. I needed to get away. I couldn't let this happen. Please, no. "The age difference isn't that big. 30 years maybe? Trust me; age doesn't hold me back." He said fiercely as he grabbed my hair.

Red and blue lights began to flash outside the window and the sirens blared as they surrounded the house. Mr. Leo jumped off of me and ran to the night stand where he pulled out a small zipper bag. Inside the clear flimsy material was a knife inside its case. He removed the case immediately, freeing the sharp metal from its refinement. He raced back to the bed beside me and placed the knife on the bed. He once again straddled me but this time he gripped my neck tightly. His hands coiled around my neck like overpowering tree roots. The roots seem to be pulling me closer and closer to the ground. Dragging me underneath the earth and depriving me of air.

The door crashed open with splintering wood smashing out of place. My vision was a little blurry to really know who crashed through the door and what was happening.

"Gregory get off the girl and step away with your hands in the air or I'll be forced to shoot." A man spoke with a determined demand he stared directly at Mr. Leo. Mr. Leo still trapped me underneath his dominating weight as I fought to break free from his tight grasp on my neck. He reluctantly let his hands drop from my neck. But as his eyes shifted to the two officers at the foot of the bed he turned back to me. He reached his hand out for the knife and hovered it over my stomach before anchoring it into my side.

He flashed me a wuick private smile before his blood splattered across my face and body. His body dropped down onto top of mine. I flailed as much as I could to get out from underneath his body.

The male officer shoved the body of onto the ground as he cut the tape holding my ankles and feet together. Then he eased the blade of the knife against the zip ties that were chaining my wrists. He then with great gentleness removed the duct tape from my mouth.

I let a moan of agony pass through my lips as I clutched at the wound on my side. Even with the pressure of my hand the blood seemed to leak out in a steady flow. Tears surfaced in my eyes as I felt the pain throughout my body.

"Andy? Stay with me." The female officer said as she felt for my pulse. She turned her head towards the male officer. "It's really faint. Boss, we need paramedics up here now." She said as she talked into her head set.

"Hi, Andy, I'm Jules with the SRU. The paramedics are on their way. You're going to be okay." She held her hand over top of mine as she applied pressure to the wound. My vision got a little dizzy as I tried to tilt my head to look at Jules. She observed my face with sympathy and I can't imagine what I must look like now. I can't bring myself to care though because I'm feeling really tired right now. Right then the paramedics file into the room along with several officers joining the police already in the room.

"You were really brave, Andy. Stay strong." Jules says as the paramedics rush around me. I watch as people swarm in the room. I don't follow what they are doing or why its so important. I just want to go to sleep but before I could even close my eyes. One of the paramedics was tapping my cheek.

"You can't fall asleep just yet, sweetie." A middle aged women with eyes the color of bright oak leaves.

"Let me see her!" I scream at the nurse who was currently telling me only immediate family members were allowed in the room. "I don't give a shit about your stupid policies." I said as I began to push my way past the nurse.

I storm down the hallway and reach a room at the end of a brightly lit hall. Through the open door I see Andy pale against the crisp white sheets. Her eyes were closed and her chest was rising and falling in an even pattern. I walked into the room and pulled out the chair next to the bed. I collapsed down in the chair and brought my hands to my face.

This was my fault. If I hadn't broken up with Andy then she would have been at my place instead. Now here she was. By some miracle, she was alive and sleeping peacefully. If things had gone differently and the other cops hadn't found her when they did she would have died. I wouldn't be watching her from a bed inside a hospital but instead witnessing her stiff body and placid face being closed inside a coffin.

I had just watched my best friend get buried seven feet under and today I could have been faced with Andy's death. I studied Andy's face as she was sleeping. I made sure to memorize the arch of her eyebrows and her delicate nose. Her cheeks were flushed a soft pink and her eyelashes are long and brushed her cheekbone. Then her eyelids fluttered and a soft groan escaped her lips. My hand reached across the distance and clutched her soft hand in mine own.

When her eyes opened she looked over at me and her eyes began to water. A tear leaked out of her eye and spilled down her cheek. I brushed my fingers against her cheek swiping the tear of her face. "Sam, I'm so sorry." She whispered as she brought our entwined hands up to her lips. She planted a soft kiss against my knuckles as more tears tracked down her face.

"I thought I was going to die." She stated as she stared at my eyes until she diverted her attention up at the ceiling. She studied the ceiling as if it held all the answers. She nodded more to herself and then she closed her eyes again. She had her eyes closed for several minutes now and I thought she was asleep when she turned her head to me. In the time that she was supposedly asleep I moved the chair closer and leaned my head down next to our laced together hands. She peeled her eyes open and brushed her free hand against my forehead, tangling her fingers in my hair.

"I understand now. I understand why it's hard for us to be together and love each other when we put ourselves in danger every day." I looked up at her now and tried to recognize what emotion was settled in her eyes. I couldn't register anything but forlorn sadness. "But people die every day, Sam. People, who aren't cops, die too. You can't do anything to stop the day when someone dies. That's all apart of love. You put your love out there and risk the chances. Because you'd rather love someone until the day you die or you don't and you live with that." She placed her hand on the side of my face and then removed it softly. It was a light touch but where her hand once was still burned.

"I love you, Sam." She said before she closed her eyes again. And this time I knew they weren't opening until she was done sleeping. Andy had said what she needed to say. Now it was all up to me.

I stayed with Andy that night and I never left the bedside. I fell asleep slumped in the chair for only a few short hours but woke up just to stare at her. She really was amazing. Every single part of her was honest, loyal, loving and special. And she loves me with every fiber of her being. She loves my flaws and she doesn't need me to say I love her back to know how much I really do love her. She believes in me even if I can't believe in myself. She loves me with selflessness recklessness and I just can't match that.

Andy would die for anyone, it could be someone she just met and she would place herself in front of a gun for them. I'm not saying for her job, I mean regardless of the situation Andy never is selfish. She takes chances on people and she sees the good in everyone. But I can't do that. I wouldn't take a bullet for anyone I take it just for her. I'd die for Andy. But that isn't what she needs. She doesn't need me to sacrifice my life she needs me to offer up my love. To give her everything, is what I want. But I'm afraid my everything won't be enough for her.

I don't want to be selfish with Andy. I don't want to just get back in a relationship with her because I love her. I need for Andy to be in the best possible relationship and that is just something I don't think I can give.

"Sam." Andy whispered as her eyes opened. And everything I was just thinking evaporated when she said my name. Her brown eyes pierced into mine and it felt like she erased every doubt I ever had. Because she loves me. And she doesn't need big dramatic gestures of my declaring love. Because Andy knows. But I tell her anyway.

"I love you." I whisper to her as I meet my lips against hers. And I she looks at me when our lips separate and I can't think of anyplace I'd rather be or with anyone else.

It's kind of funny how when you look back and realize how completely oblivious you're to the disaster that lies ahead of you. The calm before the storm. The spark before the fire that burnt down your house. And the silence filled with love that is erupted into gunshots.

I looked into Andy's eyes as I heard that the gunshots were coming closer.

This is my first Rookie Blue story! I wrote this orginally as my sister's Easter present but seemed to drag out longer than expected. There will be characters from Flashpoint and Grey's Anatomy if you watch those shows as well. And they will have those characters in here as well. Since, the shooting will be based off of the Grey's Anatomy season finale a few years back. Engjoy your Rookie Blue tonight!:) Reviews are very m uch loved! all mistakes are mine.