A/N: This will be multi-chapter, but probably comparatively short. I just have some Sleeping Warrior emotions to deal with. Feedback would be much appreciated!

Chapter 1 — A Woman of Few Words

Her life has always been about duty. She had a duty to her family, a duty to her fellow warriors, a duty to her country, a duty to a kind stranger. The only thing she can ever remember wanting for herself is to be herself...and to figure out what that entails...and she recently decided that that must be to do her duty, to honour her commitments, and not to think too much about herself.

Now, now that she knows her duty, but cannot bring herself to obey it...now she is confused. What is she, if not bound by honour? Who is she, if not perhaps quite as selfless as she would like to be?

Who is she, if she cannot ignore the pathetic love she feels in her heart, as she has countless times before, when she realizes it is wholly unreciprocated?

"Mulan?"

Mulan turns away from the window to face Princess Aurora. Aurora has always been beautiful, even dirty and sweating in a several-months-old dress that's been dragged through miles upon miles of forest, but here, on her own turf and so obviously happy and in love and comfortable in her place...here, she is radiant. It renders Mulan, who has always been a woman of few words, utterly speechless, and she merely nods her greeting and waits for whatever Aurora has come to tell or ask her.

"I'm going for a walk," says Aurora. "I wondered if you'd like to join me."

Mulan has been staying in one of the many guest rooms of Aurora's father's castle for nearly a month. She should have stayed for a week at the most. She had done her duty by then. She has done her duty to Philip and to Aurora, and now they are together and home and safe and happy. Mulan's services are no longer required. It is time for her to move on before she overstays her welcome.

She finds her voice a second too late, and the pause is awkward. "Is Prince Philip unavailable to accompany you?"

Aurora averts her eyes for a split second. Mulan gets the feeling that it means something, but she has never been very good at reading people, so she cannot imagine what. "He's asleep," says Aurora.

"In the middle of the afternoon?" Mulan's brow furrows.

Aurora smiles and shrugs. Aurora is almost never asleep. She avoids sleep when she can. When Aurora sleeps, she dreams, and when she dreams, she usually has nightmares.

"I will accompany you," says Mulan. She privately tries to convince herself that it is her duty to accompany the princess on her walk, that she may travel safely, and that she is not merely tagging along because she is pathetic.

Mulan has never visited Stefan's kingdom. Aurora assures her that it was once very beautiful—all lush, green trees and colourful wildflowers—but Mulan cannot see it. Shortly before Aurora was placed under her infamous Sleeping Curse, the evil fairy Maleficent ravaged the lands. Mulan doesn't know a lot about the whole affair, but Aurora doesn't like to talk about it, so they don't. Mulan imagines Aurora has enough people asking her countless questions. For several minutes, the only sounds between them are the snapping twigs beneath their feet as they walk.

"I thought it would be good to be home," says Aurora out of nowhere.

Mulan looks up in surprise. "But it isn't?"

Aurora is staring at her feet. "Philip tells me you have traveled far from home. Have you returned since you left?"

"Once," says Mulan. "For a short time."

Aurora looks up, wide-eyed like a doe. "What was it like?"

Mulan doesn't like to talk about her home. She doesn't like to talk very much at all, actually, but for Aurora's sake, she struggles to put the experience into words. She thinks of the day she returned from war, of her joy at seeing her family again. Then she thinks of all the things she dreaded and despised before she left—things she thought wouldn't matter to her anymore, for they would seem trivial to her by comparison to the horrors she had witnessed—and the way, once she was well and truly home again, those tiny, inconsequential things had slowly begun to seep back into her consciousness until they began chipping away at the self-assurance she had forged for herself.

"I thought I would be glad to leave it behind," she begins. "When I was away, I thought I'd be happy...overjoyed...just to make it back. When I made it back..." she shrugs. "Well, I left again."

Aurora considers her with those big, searching eyes for a moment, then looks down again. "You have a suitor there," she says.

"Had," Mulan replies with a subtle frown. She doesn't really want to talk about Shang. He is a good man, certainly, and she hates the way she feels about him. She should have been honoured to accept his marriage proposal.

"What happened?"

What happened was that Mulan acted selfishly. She had shamed her family ten times over. She turned down the best, and probably the only marriage proposal she will ever be offered. And why? Because of some imagined problem that only existed inside of Mulan's head.

"I was stupid," says Mulan.

Aurora stops walking. "Now I'm sure that isn't true," she says gravely. "What really happened?"

Mulan stops walking, as well, but she does not turn around. She closes her eyes and pools her focus in an attempt to put her ridiculous thoughts into words. "I wasn't ready to marry."

Aurora waits a moment, but when Mulan doesn't continue, she asks, "Why not?"

Mulan continues to ponder the question, which she hasn't fully answered for herself, for another minute or two, eyes still closed. "When I refused him...his proposal...he proposed..." she shakes her head. She isn't accustomed to speaking her thoughts aloud, and one thought won't come forth independent of the others. She is beginning to feel very exposed.

"My suitor proposed marriage and I refused," she tries again. "And when I refused, I thought to myself that it was because he didn't know me. In thinking that, I realized..." She frowns again and thinks a moment more before continuing. "I had traveled so far and learned so many things, and I realized I still barely knew myself."

"Well," says Aurora after a moment's silence, "that doesn't sound like stupidity."

"It was," says Mulan firmly. "I should have accepted his offer. He's a good man. I would have had a good life and my family would have been happy."

"A good life," Aurora echoes. "But is it truly a good life without someone who loves you? Really loves you...for you?"

Mulan looks up into Aurora's eyes and swallows uncomfortably. "I don't know," she says quietly. "Don't you think it's possible to be happy without love?" In response to Aurora's look of horror, Mulan amends, "Romantic love, I mean."

Aurora's brow furrows in concern. Perhaps the princess is the wrong person to ask such a question. Her life is full of people who love her, and who would continue to love her even if she acted selfishly, even if she wanted something for herself once in awhile.

"I suppose so," she says finally, but she does not seem very happy about it. "I suppose it must be." She looks down at her hands and clasps them together. "If that's what you want."

It isn't.

But Mulan's life is not about finding true love. It is not about passionate duets, memorable details, or being swept off her feet by beautiful strangers. Mulan's life is about duty. Or at least, it has always been before. If Mulan's life isn't about honour and duty anymore, then she doesn't know what she is doing here. If she doesn't know what she's doing, then she doesn't know who she is.

And if she has come no closer to learning her identity than when she left her home months or maybe a year or more ago...if she has, instead, taken a step back in this quest...then she has absolutely no idea how to proceed.