A/n hey guys! I was reading a femAllen fic earlier and got this great idea! This is AreKan and yaoi so don't like? Don't read! This is only a One shot! Flames will be used to make smores!

Disclaimer….. I really don't own D. Gray Man …

Warning: lemon ahead please hit back button if you don't like!

Horribly Wrong

"Allen, I'm not sure how to tell you this." Komui said nervously

"Tell me what?" Allen replied in a much higher voice than he remembered having

"Um… We might have…. accidently turnedyouintoagirl. Now Squad Leader Reever, lets apologi-"

"But I didn't do anything!" He yelled at the Chinese man

Allen smiled politely at the older men. He didn't particularly understand the situation. He didn't feel any different which probably proved the science department failed again, but he did feel like he had weights strapped to his chest and his nether regions felt quite different. It wasn't until a certain lover of his walked into Komui's office to find the situation as it was. And if Kanda Yuu was anything, it was blunt.

"Moyashi? Why the hell did you get a sex change?!" Kanda yelled

"It's Alle-WAIT! Bakanda! what do u mean sex chang-" There was his voice again, assuming it was a post puberty voice crack Allen blushed and stopped talking.

Finally Komui had the decency to explain, once a very angry Kanda held a sheathed Mugen to his neck. He gulped and sweat dropped.

"Well, as you know the 14th's presence in your mind has awakened and here in the science department we have taken it upon ourselves to attempt to put him back to sleep. And so we made you drink this wonderful concoction, tested by Komurin XXII (a/n is this the correct spelling? And those roman numerals are random) who wasn't affected, and it seemed to have quite an interesting effect on you. Do you mind if we keep you here to study it?" Suddenly at that last part an odd look came into Komui's eyes. It was the same one Allen remembered from long ago, from when he first arrived at the Black Order and he needed his arm fixed. Allen unconsciously shuddered at the memory.

It seemed Kanda didn't like the look either, because he slowly began to unsheathe Mugen and press harder.

"The point!" Kanda growled angrily

"Allen you seem to have tur-"

"Allen, what the hell? You're a girl!" Lavi bursted into the office followed by a confused Lenalee

Allen's eyebrow twitched

"Lavi, we've been through this before. I. am. not. a. girl. Just because me and Kanda started dating doesn't make me a girl, and that doesn't even make sense 'cause I'm not even the uke of ou-"

"No, seriously, you're a girl!" He repeated

"EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?"

Komui coughed slightly and began to speak again.

"Yes, it seems you have become a girl….. don't worry it will wear off …. I think...," Komui trailed off, then he began to hug is sister, "My precious Lenalee! I haven't seen you all day! No nasty boys have tried to touch you right? Because all I need is names and.." He left the last part to the imagination

"I'm fine Nii-san." She said impassively

Allen suddenly yelped in pain, Kanda knocked him/her in the head as a result for revealing so much information about their relationship.

"What was that for Bakanda?!" Allen asked rubbing his/her head

"tch" the samurai replied with distain

"Anyways, it seems that it has no effect on your innocence, other than your stamina might not be up as high anymore. So your still okay for missions." Komui explained

"I'll take all the moyashi's missions." Kanda said gruffly

"But.. Kanda if your needed elsewhere-" Komui reasoned

"I'll do mine and the Moyashi's missions!" He yelled

"Yuu, don't push yourself." Lavi said gently

"Don't call me that! And I said I'd do them!" Kanda grabbed Allen by the collar of her white shirt and dragged her out of the room

"Wait, Kanda, what are you doing. Wait! Lemme Go! Bakanda!" Allen's voice began disappearing down the hall

The remaining people laughed nervously at the obvious display of anger from Kanda.

"Nii-san….. It'll wear off right?" Lenalee asked worriedly

Lavi answered before Komui could, "Of course Lenalee."

Allen really didn't know what to expect when Kanda pulled him into a corner somewhere in the order and pressed a kiss to her lips. Allen responded as she normally would; taking control of the situation. She gently attempted to pry Kanda's lips open and let her tongue dominate, but then failed. Allen frowned, this wasn't like Kanda at all. The older teen had never resisted before, by now he was usually trembling with desire. Kanda pulled away from their non-passionate kiss.

"This isn't working." He said bluntly

Allen popped a vein.

"Huh?" She replied back stupidly

"I can't do this! I don't like it when you're a girl!" Kanda whimpered

At the sound of Kanda's whine Allen was reminded of everything they couldn't do with him as a girl.

"Well fuck," Allen cursed, "this going to be the worst side effect ever."

"If it wears off." Kanda murmured low enough Allen almost didn't catch it.

"WHAT ?!" Allen shrieked

"che."

Kanda then stalked off, triumphant with his small victory of not being molested after a chaste swift kiss. Allen, however, was left burning with extreme desire. It was at moments like these she could honestly kill the Head supervisor for these stupid experiments. Then her stomach growled. She contented herself by heading to the cafeteria for a heaping portion of everything Jerry could cook.

But once she was about to dig into this wondrous food, almost every female being in the Order stopped her. She growled in warning of the people trying to distance her from her meal.

"Walker-san, you can't eat any of that! It'll make you fat." They scolded sternly

Her stomach gurgled painfully.

"But I have to eat!" she pleaded

It was then she realized how scary women are. After being dragged and forced into a woman's uniform and extensions forced into her hair and that scary crap they call make-up, she was set in front of a small salad and as she was about to inhale it, the cursed women screeched at her to have manners. By the end of the whole ordeal Allen vowed to never, ever let this happen again. In the meantime everybody else in the Order found it very amusing. Especially the men, all they saw was a new pair of double D's sulking around in a short skirt pouting adorably. Kanda hated the attention his lover was getting. After all, what business did these pervy assholes have staring at his Allen?

"Hey did you see the curves on Walker?" One of the finders whispered to another

"Yea! Best experiment Komui's ever pulled off!" The other responded enthusiastically

The air around them turned cold as a stare froze itself onto their back. They turned and saw Kanda surrounded by a demon aura glaring at them with a cold, murderous bloodlust. The both gulped, and slowly got up and ran like scared puppies.

"'s better." Kanda growled proudly

Allen was miserable, these crazy women wouldn't leave her alone and she missed her lover. Had she not naturally been a gentle soul, she would have let these people have a round with sadistic Allen. (A/n I mean the personality he get when talking about Cross's debts or when he plays poker)

"Allen-chan, how long will you look like this? We should go shopping for clothes!" one of them suggested

Allen's heart entered his stomach, oh God please no. Like lions hunting an antelope they circled around her. Allen started mouthing his last prayer, crap please anyone help me! The trap had been set and as they went for the kill Kanda appeared. A sigh burst through her lips making her sag with relief. Allen flung herself at the fellow exorcist and pulled him close, smashing their lips together. Kanda made a small noise of surprise and tried to pull away, but Allen wouldn't allow that a second time. She forced her way into Kanda's mouth and deepened the kiss. To all onlookers this would be remembered as the day Kanda submitted to a girl….. Even if the girl happened to normally be male.

She pushed him up against the wall and made a small groan of pure unadulterated lust. Kanda seemed to have the same reaction, withering under Allen's touch, But then the whole reality of the situation got in the way again. With Allen as a girl… they couldn't do anything… unless Kanda topped… Allen thought about this for a second and then shuddered…. Well we're not getting any tonight…..

"I'm going to go kill Komui!" Allen declared against Kanda's lips

"Later" the swordsman moaned back

Allen smirked. And ran her hips deliberately slow against his growing erection.

"nghhhh…aahh"

"That's right Yuu-chan, do you feel that?" Allen asked innocently

The man under her snarled in response and bit Allen's bottom lip.

"Feisty today aren't we, Yuu-chan." If they couldn't have sex, then Allen was going to milk this for all it was worth.

Kanda groaned again and reclaimed Allen's mouth. She smiled a wicked grin against his lips. Kanda caught on to what his partner was doing the second time she ground her hips to his. At that moment he agreed with Allen on the idea of killing Komui. He pulled away and snarled in frustration, sexual and other.

"Dammit!"

Allen smiled a wry smile filled with irritation and her own desires.

"My thoughts exactly." She replied dryly

"I could top….." Kanda trailed off as the memory of last time he topped went into his head

Flashback

Kanda swiftly switched their position so he was hovering eagerly above his partner. Allen whimpered below him as his hardened length was slowly stroked.

"Moyashi, I'll top tonight." Kanda said confidently

Allen only squirmed in response. Kanda took that as a yes and slowly teased a nipple with his mouth, rolling his tongue along the bud. His partner moaned loudly and pressed his hips in a need for friction. Kanda only smiled and ground their erections together.

"Kanda…..ngh… put…..ah… it in …me…." Allen moaned

This was the point Kanda forgot about, he didn't exactly know how to do this so he improvised. He thought back to past experiences. He slowly pressed a dry finger to Allen's entrance. He pressed it in and the younger teen beneath him jerked. Without looking at the face of the obviously in pain teen, he moved his finger. Not thinking, he pressed another finger in. Allen finally screeched in pain.

"BAKANDA! Are you trying to kill me? Take them out!" Allen screamed

Kanda blushed in embarrassment, and was about to do just that when his pride got in the way.

"No," Kanda said setting his jaw, "I'll make you feel good."

Allen flinched in pain as Kanda removed the finger only to replace it with his hardened length. He agonizingly slowly pushed past the tight ring of muscle. And since he had never topped before he wasn't used to the tightness that came with being inside. He moved immediately and took Allen's cries of pain for pleasure and kept going, by the time it was over Allen looked at Kanda straight in the face.

"You are never doing that again." He said angrily

End Flashback

"No way in hell." Allen replied immediately

"It could be different now though! Girls have different parts!" Kanda said

"No way in hell." She repeated

Kanda made a low keening sound and nuzzled his face into her neck.

"Please?" He whispered huskily

She sighed and shook her head stubbornly.

"Not happening."

Kanda had half a horny, lust-clouded mind to ignore the people watching and rip off her clothes right here and now. But Allen was too quick for him. She pressed a kiss to his lips and grabbed his hand, dragging him with surprising strength to his own room.

"Moyashi?" Kanda started inquiringly

"Shhhhhhh." The girl purred back

She sank to her knees and crawled up to the belt of Kanda's pant and plucked open the button.

"Yuu-chan!" Lavi yelled happily, opening the door without a second thought

Lavi, unknowingly, had walked into a very steamy situation. Blushing the shade of his hair, he stared. Kanda was too far off in his world of pleasure to realize the situation, but Allen on the other hand turned her head the second the door opened.

"Can we help you?" She smirked slightly sadistically

"No, please continue, sorry for the interruption!" Lavi squeaked, running out the door

Allen began laughing like a mad man. Kanda, slightly waking up from his lust induced haze, blushed crimson.

"He better keep his mouth shut. Stupid Usagi." Kanda grumbled

Allen kept laughing until her sides were going to explode. Kanda tried to growl at her to shut the hell up, but that only succeeded in making her laugh harder.

But much to both of their surprise the laugh got deeper and more masculine. Allen immediately stopped laughing and started into a mirror. He waited expectantly for the change to finish, and him to go completely normal but it never happened. Then it hit Allen like a bombshell.

"Kanda, tickle me."

"What the hell Moyashi? First you want to blow me and now you want to be tickled?" Kanda muttered back, getting up to do it anyway

He started trying to tickle Allen, but was having little success. The white haired teen was completely not ticklish. Kanda really did try everything. So after explaining the situation of the need for laughter, Allen dragged him to the science department, since there was always some poor bastard to laugh at there.

Allen, unfortunately, ran straight into Komui upon arriving. And, seeing Allen in half and half state, made it a top priority of the entire Order to make him laugh. The first round was just plain stupidity, like "Look it's a rubber chicken!" After that, Allen politely told Reever to never become a comedian.

The second round, however was corny, horrible jokes. Lenalee was up first.

"So why did the chicken cross the road?" She started

"To go to the other side and kick Akumas' asses and retrieve the innocence." Lavi finished

It was dead as crickets.

"It's a good strategy. They'll never need innocence again, they can just tell jokes to the Earl, and we'll have won the war." Kanda whispered in Allen's direction

Allen cracked up. His laughter filled the room, encouraging the horrible jokes to keep going.

"Ne, Walker, Knock Knock?" A finder asked

Allen didn't answer, so another finder filled in, "Who's there?"

"Boo."

"Boo who?"

"Don't cry, there's no akuma after you!" the finder laughed

Kanda kept his commentary up the entire time, making Allen laugh until he was dying. Slowly, but surely Allen's chest deflated (to the disappointment of almost all the men in the Order) and he gained back his strength and muscle. The extensions fell out of his hair and he felt that returning instead of what was there. Kanda saw it and sunk into his chair with relief, his lover was back.

Allen , however, wasn't satisfied. The second the transformation back to himself was over he felt the desire he suppressed earlier. He stared at the boneless Kanda in the chair next to him. Grabbing him into his lap, he ignored the people in the room and greedily claimed Kanda's mouth. Kanda immediately opened his lips, only to feel a tongue ravish its way into his mouth.

Finally Allen couldn't take it anymore.

"Well, we'll be seeing you all. Thanks for the help." Allen announced, throwing an again hazed Kanda over his shoulder and almost running out of Komui's office.

After getting back to Kanda's room, he threw the swordsmen onto the bed and climbed over him. Allen hovered over him, stared with lustfilled eyes. Kanda squirmed under the gaze and threw his arms around his lover's neck at kissed him again. Allen saw this as a perfect time to begin removing their clothes. First the Order Jackets, then the skirt he forgot he was wearing, then Kanda's pants, Then Allen's shirt, then Kanda's shirt, and finally Allen's underwear. (Since for some reason, Kanda wasn't wearing any… "they're all dirty" he says…. Yeah right.)

Again, Allen stopped to stare at the body beneath him. It moaned in response and arched it's hips forward in a need for friction. Allen would have normally waited just like this to torture the poor exorcist, but today he was a bit too horny.

He lightly slid a hand between them and traced circles over the length of Kanda's cock. Leaning down he recaptured the older teen's bottom lip between his teeth and squeezed lightly.

"Nghhhhh" Kanda groaned loudly, bucking his hips into Allen's waiting hand

The teen let his hand roam, finding a nipple and rolling the hardened bud, plucking at the other every so often. His mouth found Kanda's neck and he sucked, leaving an angry red mark in his wake. On his tour down Kanda's body he left a few more making the long haired man moan softly. His mouth replaced his hand on Kanda's nipple and he sucked, pulling back to only give short licks until he gave the same treatment to the other one. Kanda's mind had very much melted by then.

"Moyashi! Unnnnn….ah…ngh…I want you." He moaned loudly

Allen smirked and pulled his hand away from Kanda's cock long enough to open the bedside drawer to grab a bottle of lube. Kanda made a sound of disappointment, but waited patiently for what was to come. Allen opened the top and applied a generous amount to his fingers. He gently probed Kanda's entrance and slid one finger past the tight ring of muscle, intent on keeping him out.

"Kanda, relax." He cooed bringing his mouth up to kiss him

Allen slowly moved his finger, keeping Kanda's lips on his as the swordsman jerked from the feeling of penetration. Finally, he added another finger and stopped, waiting for him to get used to it. Then he started again, stretching and scissoring, until he added a third finger and moved up to the small bundle of nerves inside his lover. Allen kissed Kanda's neck and caressed his prostate. He screamed in response and pressed back, willing the fingers to go deeper and do that again. But instead Allen removed his fingers and gave a few jerks to his own hard member. He positioned himself at Kanda's entrance and thrusted himself into the awaiting heat.

Fully sheathed, Allen waited until Kanda pushed against him, signaling him to move.

"Nnhhhhhh ahhhh f-ah! Faster hahhhhh gnhhh" Kanda screamed throwing his arms around Allen's neck.

Allen gladly complied, quickening his pace and reaching for Kanda's ignored cock. He stroked in rhythm with his thrusts. Kanda screamed again at the stimulation, but Allen shushed him with a passionate kiss. He moaned into the raven's mouth and secretly knew he couldn't hold out much longer. Allen went faster, and Kanda groaned in anticipation.

"I'm cumming!" he moaned

"Then cum." Allen replied breathlessly

And so Kanda did, he came hard over his and Allen's chest screaming Allen's name. The walls clenched around Allen's own length and he managed a few quick thrust before he emptied his own seed into the sagged body of his exorcist.

Allen groped around for a dirty shirt and wiped them both off as they laid into Kanda's bed.

"I love you. Bakanda" Allen murmured, gently nibbling on the older teen's ear

Kanda sleepily pressed himself against the body holding him.

"-ve you too." He said incoherently

Their eyes finally closed and they drifted off…

"YUU-CHAN!" Lavi yelled in distress

"Allen!" Lenalee yelled with the same amount of distress

Both sets of eyes flew open as the door to Kanda's room swung open, revealing a red haired girl and a feminine chinese boy.

"Damn, I forgot to lock the door." Kanda commented angrily

Allen burst out into laughter, and eventually Kanda joined in snickering, while Lavi and Lenalee wailed something about killing Komui.

END

a/n well how'd ya like it? Please please please review and tell me you liked it! Or if you thought it sucked, still review… though I will be sad you thought it sucked TT-TT ….