Nothing

A Star Trek Fanfic

Disclaimer: Not mine… Not making any money from… Just playing…

Summary: Staying was an indulgence he was not permitted. He was always the one to leave first. Self preservation which felt like self torture. Kirk leaves in the middle of the night so that he won't be the one left. Or at least attempts to leave…

~0-0-0~

Hair tickled his nose as he inhaled. Well, more like sighed. Untangling his limbs from his partner, he made his way to the edge of the bed.

He hated this part. The part where he had to forget everything that had just happened. Where he was forbidden the pleasure of basking in the afterglow. The part where he had to leave.

All he wanted to do was to crawl back under the covers and be held. Just held. Was that too much to ask for?

Seemingly so.

But he had to do this.

Staying meant awkward goodbyes.

Staying meant seeing the rejection in their eyes.

Staying meant that when he awoke, he might be alone. Abandoned by a lover in the night. So he was always the one to leave.

So he wouldn't have to feel the desperate aloneness, that sinking feeling in his stomach that made him want to throw up. To curl up in a ball and cry.

Self preservation that felt like self torture.

Reminding himself that this was for his benefit was the only thing to keep him sane.

"Stay," The demand came from the bed softly. A lightly calloused hand reached out and clasped his.

Kirk had had this happen on the odd occasion before. It shook his already shaky resolve, and he could feel himself weakening.

But he had to be strong.

"I… I should probably go." He went to pull away, but the hand still gripped his with an almost deathly force.

"No. you do not get to leave. Not now." With inhuman strength, Kirk was pulled back onto the bed and into those strong arms.

Stupid Vulcan super-strength.

As the arms of his partner- no, lover- encased him, he felt consumed by the moment. He could feel the contentment radiate from his first officer in waves, with an undercurrent of hurt.

"You do not get that choice. You do not get to leave. Not now. Not after what just happened. Not after what we experienced."

Arms tightened around his torso and a nose gently nuzzled at his neck.

Kirk spoke, his words almost inaudible.

"Will you still be here in the morning?"

"Affirmative."

"How… How can you know for sure?" His voice shook as he whispered.

"Because nothing will stop me from watching you awaken beside me."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

~0-0-0~

So, what do you think? A little less angsty and a little fluffier than I first imagined, but oh well. Just a random idea that wouldn't go away. Please review!