Hi everyone! This is a new story, quite different for me. It will be multi-chapter, not sure how long, and I can't guarantee I'll update frequently. But I'll do my best, especially if I see people are interested.
There's some backstory to this. It's AU; there's no A, and all of the characters know each other, except for Spencer, who's the new girl at school. If you want to know what her story is, you can go read my story 'Darkness', but it's not necessary to be able to understand this one.
There's some side couples in this (MonaxNoel, HannaxCaleb, EmilyxAria), but the main focus will be SpencerxToby.
I don't normally write Spoby stories, so let me know if I'm doing okay.
And without further ado, here is the first chapter. Please let me know what you think; reviews make me so happy.

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Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure's all you've known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go, let it go.
~ Iridescent, Linkin Park

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Damaged.

That's the one word that was most frequently used to describe Toby Cavanaugh. That is, when people weren't throwing around words like 'freak' or 'murderer'. All his life he'd felt like he had to try twice as hard to be half as good as anyone else. Maybe it was a natural feeling, all part and parcel of growing up, but he had a feeling it was more than that. As he looks around at the other students in the room, he wonders how many of them have felt this way. Like nothing you do is good enough. Like everyone looks down on you. Like you could do everything perfectly and people would still find some fault in it.

Not that he has ever been perfect. He's far from it, and he knows. He's got more than his share of baggage, most of which he's never told anyone about, and a lot of which could tarnish his already trashed reputation. He doesn't need more accusing glares, more questions he can't answer and flaws he can't hide.

Normally he tries to keep his thoughts under control; he knows what it's like to let them run rampant in his mind, and he can't afford that kind of mess right now. He taps his pencil against the edge of the desk, agitated; these thoughts and this stress aren't good for him.

"How are you doing?"

The voice next to him makes him jump. The pencil falls to the floor and he bends down to pick it up, internally grumbling. He has a feeling today is not going to be a good day. He straightens up, snaps the pencil in half, and turns to face the speaker. His best friend, Caleb Rivers, is sliding into the seat beside him.

"I've been better," Toby replies. "You?"

"I'm good." Caleb takes out his book and opens to a random page in an attempt to look busy when the teacher comes in.

"Caleb, we have a test today," Toby reminds him.

He frowns, trying to remember, and then he sighs and puts his textbook back in his bag. "And suddenly I'm not so good."

Toby laughs as Caleb slumps back down in his seat, looking dejected. This doesn't last long, because a moment later a stylish blonde girl walks into the room and Caleb's face lights up. He gets up to greet her, running a hand through her hair and gazing at her like he hasn't seen her in months.

"Hey babe," he croons, leaning towards her.

She leans forward and kisses him, and when they pull away she smiles at Toby; he waves in greeting and then politely looks away as they go at it again. When the teacher comes in Caleb and Hanna, the blonde, take their seats beside each other, and Toby watches as the rest of the class files in. Emily nods her head in greeting as she walks through the door hand-in-hand with her girlfriend; Toby smiles in response, watching them sit down on the other side of the room. Emily had gone through a rough break-up a few months ago, and it's nice seeing her happy again.

The last student through the door is a slim raven-haired girl whose eyes are brimming with secrets she's just dying to spill. She sits down beside Hanna, tossing her hair back over her shoulder and grinning. "Hi Caleb, Toby," she says.

"Mona," Toby greets her; it's a good thing there wasn't more he wanted to say, because she quickly turns to Hanna, lowers her voice, and starts talking about something that Toby can't quite hear.

The teacher arrives a moment later, setting up his briefcase on the desk and pulling out a pile of papers. A sort of inaudible groan radiates through the room; even Mona, who's one of the top students in the class, seems displeased at having to do a test. The teacher gestures to the nearest student and asks them to hand out the tests, which they do with obvious reluctance.

Toby leans back in his chair, fiddling absently with his pen and already wishing the day was over. He has a test now, and next period he has to give a presentation – a group presentation, no less – and he's pretty sure no one in his group is prepared for it. He suppresses a sigh and turns to Caleb to ask if he's done any work for the presentation, but the words die in his throat as one last student walks through the door.

His first thought is that she's the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. His second thought is that she would never look twice at a guy like him. And his third is that he's now been staring at her for almost a minute, at which point he lowers his gaze and pretends to read the graffiti on the desk. Out of the corner of his eyes he can see the girl approach the teacher, hand him a piece of paper, nod as he asks her a question. Then she hoists her bag further up on her shoulder, smiles at the teacher, and makes her way to one of the many spare desks in the room (it was actually a full class, but on test days the population dropped to about three-quarters, maximum).

She's two rows ahead of him, but the desk in between is empty. As she goes to sit down he raises his eyes and feels daring enough to sneak another look at her. She has coffee-colored eyes, long brown hair, and a haunted look about her. As she pulls a pen out of her bag and sets it neatly at the top of her desk, perfectly parallel to the edge, he notices that her hands are shaking. She sits up straight, eyes locked on the board at the front of the class, ignoring all the whispers shooting around the room. They haven't had a new kid in a long time, so she'll be news until the next scandal sweeps the school.

Toby is still looking at her when the teacher taps his pen on the board to get everyone's attention. "You have one hour to complete this test. Phones off, eyes forward. Good luck everyone."

Everyone gets to work, some more reluctantly than others, but Toby watches as the teacher walks down the room, stopping at the new girl's desk. He bends down and says something quietly to her; she nods, then pulls a novel out of her bag and starts reading. She's exempt from the test, although she's probably not the only one in the room who doesn't have a clue about the content.

After a few minutes Toby manages to jerk his attention away from her and focus on his test, which, thankfully, is all multiple choice. He runs out of time and has to guess the last few, but as he hands the test in and leaves the room he's reasonably confident that he at least passed, and that's all he needs in order to graduate.

Out in the hall he falls into step beside Caleb, who snakes his hand around Hanna's waist, while Mona rolls her eyes behind their back. Hanna stands on her tiptoes to kiss Caleb again, and Toby takes that as his cue to step back. They've been dating for almost a year now, and they still can't keep their hands off each other. While the very closeted hopeless romantic in him finds it cute, most of him is just uncomfortable. He walks beside Mona, who is just as over their PDA.

"Did you see the new girl?" Mona asks, producing a nail file from her purse and touching up her already-perfect manicure.

"I saw her," Toby replies. He's not sure why, but the thought of her makes his heartbeat quicken. He hasn't felt this way in a long time; he wants to get to know her, even though part of him knows that he'll probably be too scared to actually talk to her. "What's her story?"

Mona stretches her hands out in front of her and admires her nails, which shimmer in the artificially bright light. "You haven't heard?"

He shakes his head, knowing that Mona will be thrilled at the chance to share gossip with him. She loves being the first to know anything, and more than that she loves everyone knowing that she was the first to know it.

"They say it's a tragic story," she says, "although nobody knows the full details."

"What do they know?"

"Well." Mona stops at her locker and Toby comes to a halt too; Caleb and Hanna carry on, too caught up in each other to care much about anyone else. After Mona puts her textbook in her locker she leans against the wall and gives a dramatic sigh. "They say she was kidnapped. Held hostage by some psychopath. Somehow she escaped and she hasn't said a word since."

Toby is not a talkative person. He expresses himself in the silence, through his eyes and his face and his very being. And now he falls into a contemplative silence, feeling his heart break for this girl he has yet to meet. He can't even begin to imagine the horrors she's been through, and he knows he would never be able to help. He can't even muster up the courage to talk to her.

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