Miss Me When I'm Gone

Fictionbooksaremylife

AN: Sorry everyone for not posting in a long time. A lot of stuff happened. I accidently deleted Strange Place to Find Love, so sorry about that. I might repost it soon. Here is my newest story. It wasn't meant to be a fanfiction but it is now I guess. Thanks to everyone who have helped me with my past stories. I can only hope that you will all do the same for this story. Sorry for the shortness of this first chapter. It will however get longer I promise. Reviews are much appreciated! Please enjoy this and give me any comments. Thanks guys!

*This story (not just this chapter, but others soon to come) contains graphic content such as rape, abuse, underage drinking, drug overdose, alcohol abuse, eating disorders etc. so read at your own will*

It was the bitterness, drawn to exact proportion, within her eyes that had stolen her from contentment and exhilaration. She laid there with a blank face, deprived of any expression, but her breathing was shallow, and staggered.

"Just tell me one thing" the sinister man gave her a dirty smirk. "How do you want me to kill you?"

He gave one hard thrust into her, and she shattered.

Peeta's POV:

With a defeated sigh, I threw another history textbook into the cardboard box, already filled to the top.

"You ready?"

I gave my older brother Rye and quick nod and lifted the box into my arms.

"Number one party school in Panem" he continued.

I nodded again.

"What's wrong?" he asked with a questioning look.

I shrugged. "I'm tired."

Rye smirked. "Yeah… I heard you banging Delly last night."

My eyes widened. Surely he was joking.

"Oh… oh! Oh Peeta harder! Thrust into me harder! Peeta!" Rye mimicked Delly's high pitched voice.

He wasn't joking.

"Shut up Rye… it was a onetime thing."

Rye let out a loud guffaw. "Really Peeta? Just a onetime thing? We heard you the night before too… and last week as well." He laughed. "You guys really need to keep it down. You could hear her moans all the way from the Seam."

I scrunched my nose and looked down at the floor. "I was just blowing off some steam… that's all."

"Whatever. Let's just get these boxes into the car."

Again, I nodded and followed him downstairs to the old corolla.

"Is that it?" Rye asked as he closed the truck.

"Yeah. I think so. I'll go upstairs and check."

I ran up the stairs, each giving a slight creak at my weight and stopped at the doorway of my empty room. Nothing. Clean as a whistle.

"Hey Peeta?" my father called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah dad?" I shouted back.

"Go up into the attic and grab the old family cookbook for me will you?"

I nodded, though he couldn't see. "Yeah… uh sure dad"

I slowly made my way up the stairs to the attic. No one ever went up into the attic anymore. Mother had forbidden it years ago, saying that there were things up there that weren't meant to be seen. I didn't believe her. I figured that she kept her eighties porn movies that she was in back in the day hidden up there.

I stood on the balls of my feet to reach for the cookbook on the top shelf.

"What the…" I muttered.

"Peeta! Got the cookbook?"

I ignored my father and walked towards the corner of the musky attic. An edge of an envelope stuck out like a sore thumb amongst everything else in the room below an old couch. I bent down to retrieve the letter.

"Peeta?"

"I'm coming dad." I lied and looked down at the letter, ignoring the sound of creaking stairs.

"Peeta… what's the hold up?"

My head shot up and I hid the letter behind me.

"Peeta… where's the book?"

"I uh…"

"What are you hiding?"

I sighed, pulling the letter from behind my back.

"You found them."

"Huh?"

His expression softened with sadness. "You found her letters"

"Who's letters?"

"Don't tell your mother that you found that."

"Who's letters? What are you talking about?"

"Your mother hid those letters for your protection"

"Letters? As in there are more of them?"

He nodded.

In confusion, I bent down to look under the couch. He was right. There were dozens of them. I pulled a handful out.

"There all written to me"

Father nodded slowly.

I looked at the post date. "These are over ten years old!" I cried. "Why would you hide these from me?"

Father looked away sadly. "You wouldn't understand"

"Then help me understand! I want to know!" I screamed. "Tell me what I need to know to understand damn it!"

"Read the letters" was all he said, as he grabbed the cookbook and returned to the kitchen.

That was when I opened the first letter.

Dear Peeta,

I know you're not going to read this. You won't read any of these. At least… not yet anyway. She's going to hide these letters so you'll never find them. She doesn't want you're perfect life ruined in anyway by some stupid girl. After what happened… maybe that's best. I don't know how many letters there will be before the end. I don't know if all of them will be sent to you. But I do know that I'm not sure if I want any of these read. Not just yet at least. I'm not ready for anybody to try to understand the darkness within me. At least, not you anyway. I don't want your help. I don't need it. After all, you're the one who's the most guiltiest out of all of them.

Sincerely Yours.