A/N: I've really enjoyed writing this story and the response has been overwhelming. Thanks so much for reviewing and I hope that you enjoy this last installment. I will warn you though, I told you from the beginning that this story was canon. Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the lines in this chapter taken from 9x06 - "Second Opinion".

Jackson lay on his back, remaining as still as he possibly could, as he looked at April out of the corner of his eye. She was curled up with her back facing him and he knew that she wasn't asleep, despite the fact that she was clearly trying to make him think that.

After quite the internal debate, Jackson turned over onto his side with his body only inches away from hers. She was wearing a tank top and a pair of pajama pants and he found it hard not to touch her. "I know that you're awake, April," he whispered. "What's wrong?"

He had given her a very lengthy neck and back massage, and he would have thought that it would have relaxed her enough to let her sleep, but obviously not.

"I have a lot on my mind I guess," she finally answered. He shifted to spoon her from behind but she instantly moved away from him. "Can you give me my space, please?" She asked in irritation.

His eyes widened but he did as she asked. "Sorry." He took a deep breath before he spoke again. "Are you still mad at me? Because that's okay. I was a real ass."

She answered him honestly, "Yeah, I am still mad at you." Despite how sweet he had been since he had shown up at her apartment, she still couldn't stop thinking about why he would say such awful things in the first place. "It's just that you're the only guy that I've ever had in my life who has never made me feel absolutely horrible about myself and tonight you did, and it just hurts." She roughly bit down on her bottom lip to hold back impending tears. "It just might take me a little while to get over it."

Jackson squeezed his eyes shut in frustration while he internally scolded himself. Even though she had snapped at him earlier for being so close, he couldn't stop himself from wrapping both of his arms around her. He needed to comfort her and apologize at the same time. "I am so so sorry," he whispered as he rested his chin on her shoulder. "I didn't really mean it. I was just pissed off."

She rolled over onto her back so that she could look at him before she expressed her next thoughts. "I know that but I don't understand why. Why do you get so jealous?"

He gulped and glanced down at the bed sheets as her eyes bore into his. That was a tricky question. He was a jealous guy, that was true, and it should have been explanation enough, but it was different with April and they both knew it. She had been a virgin and he was the only man that had ever touched her so intimately. That did something primal to him that sent him into a fit of irrational rage whenever another guy was around her. Also, there was the fact that he was pretty sure that he was…

He gulped again as the thought passed through his head.

…He was in love with her…maybe…

He wasn't sure if he was ready to admit that to himself but he was pretty sure that that's what this was…the feelings…the intense jealousy…

He was in love with April Kepner.

But he couldn't tell her that. He just couldn't. It would ruin what they had.

"You don't see yourself the way that other people see you," he finally responded.

She furrowed her brow in confusion and sighed in frustration. "What is that supposed to mean?"

He smiled to himself as he rubbed his thumb into her hip. He couldn't help but find her cute, even in this situation. "I mean, that you don't get the way that men see you and I don't want guys to take advantage of that."

And that was a truthful response. He had always felt that way about April; he had always been protective of her, especially when it came to men. He had never wanted to see guys take advantage of her good heart and fairly low self-esteem. She didn't realize what a beautiful person she was, inside and out.

He lowered his head and gently nuzzled her cheek. "You're beautiful, April." He smiled when he felt the heat in her cheeks against his nose. "You really are. It's hard not to get jealous sometimes."

Her anger towards him was slowly dissipating again. He was so sweet to her when he wasn't being an ass. That thought made her laugh out loud but she quickly covered her mouth with her hand to contain her giggles.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked as he chuckled himself.

She answered him truthfully with a playful smile. "I was thinking about how much of an ass you are."

He grinned as his hand slipped up her abdomen to tickle her stomach. She squealed and his grin widened even further. Her laughter died when he pressed his mouth to hers. He kissed her a few times before he muttered, "I really am sorry though, truly. I won't ever act that way again."

She smiled happily as both of her hands moved to cup his face. "Thank you." She paused before she added, "Even though sometimes it's really hot. Everything in moderation."

He smirked down at her and seductively ran his tongue along his bottom lip. "Hot, huh?"

She rolled her eyes and stressed, "Sometimes. Don't let your head get any bigger."

He chuckled huskily as a devilish expression took over his face. He thrust his hips against the side of her thigh as he said, "I'm not sure that's possible."

She shifted until she was directly beneath him, and she could fully feel his arousal against her. "You're terrible."

"I don't believe you really think that," he replied as he savoured the feeling of her thighs cradling his hips. He positioned his hands on either side of her head and held his upper body above hers. "You think I'm awesome."

She laughed breathlessly and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "You're cuter when you don't talk."

His laugh was cut off when she kissed him hungrily.

Their foreplay was intense, and rather rough. He could feel the scratch marks that her fingernails had left on his back and sides, and once he had removed her tank top, he wasted no time in leaving tiny bite marks and hickeys along her chest. Her bed sheets were a tangled mess around them and he just knew that the sex was going to be fantastic, as per usual.

April pulled away with a gasp and he looked down at her in concern. "What's wrong?"

"I don't have any condoms here," she told him regretfully.

"Oh," he answered dumbly. Well that sucked. He flopped onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry," she apologized timidly. "I should have thought of it earlier, sorry."

"It's fine, stop apologizing." He turned his head and smiled at her. "It's not a big deal, really."

April adjusted the bed sheet underneath her armpits before she rolled over to face him. "Now I just feel bad though, for getting you all worked up." The large bulge in his boxer briefs wasn't exactly easy to ignore.

Jackson chuckled, even though she was new to all of this, the sentiment behind her statement was so April. She felt bad for his uncomfortable inconvenience. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "If it makes you feel better then I'll go take a quick shower."

She grabbed his arm before he could get up and pulled him back down to the mattress. "Wait," she whispered. "We don't have to have sex but I'm sure we can think of something."

"Yeah?" She bit down on her bottom lip and gave him a look that he was very familiar with. He smirked and entwined his feet with hers. His hand snaked between her legs while they kissed slowly.

Yeah, he was pretty sure that he was in love with this girl.

April awoke, alone. She opened her eyes and was concerned about the empty space beside her. Maybe he had snuck out, bailed, or something. After all, he had never stayed over at her place before. She tried not to let disappointment overwhelm her as she slipped out of bed and pulled on her bathrobe.

She padded to the bathroom and used the washroom before she stared at herself in the mirror. Except for the marks on her collarbone, she looked exactly the same, yet she felt very different. But she wasn't quite sure why she felt different. She knew that it had to do with Jackson, all of her emotions these days had something to do with him.

She just felt weighted down. Tired and heavy.

Maybe it was a sign that she needed to commit to the decision that she had made a long time ago. She needed to end whatever it was that she was doing with Jackson. This arrangement wasn't healthy.

She finally tore herself away from her reflection and headed towards her kitchen for her morning coffee. The sounds of pots and pans clattering and angry swearing were unmistakable.

"Jesus Christ! Ouch! Fuck!"

April turned the corner and stopped in her tracks as she took in the scene before her. Jackson was standing in front of the stove, and he was cooking. Well, she wasn't sure if cooking was the right word, it was more like he was struggling to cook. There were bowls and ingredients scattered all over her countertop and Jackson himself was covered in flour.

"Jackson," she called softly.

He spun around and his eyes widened in alarm. "I didn't think that you'd be up yet." He turned towards the microwave and looked at the clock. "Shit."

"Umm, what are you doing?" She asked as she tentatively approached him. He seemed rather perturbed and he looked a little bit like a wild animal.

He sighed heavily and laid down the spatula in his hand in defeat. "I was trying to make you breakfast." He glanced around the kitchen and tried to explain his mess. "I started out with pancakes because I know that they're your favourite, but that was a disaster. Then I tried to make an omelet but I burnt it pretty bad so I threw it in the garbage, and then I moved on to the bacon but that's burning me pretty bad."

She smiled as she gently placed both of her hands on his waist and steered him away from the stove. "I'm sure that some of this bacon is salvageable, and we can have toast. That's a great breakfast."

He stood behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder. "I don't cook," he muttered.

"I know," she giggled, "which is why I'm confused." Jackson's idea of cooking was putting something in the microwave. He lived off of takeout pizza, roadside taco carts, and protein shakes.

"I dunno," he answered shyly, "I guess that I just wanted to do something nice for you. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

April smiled uncontrollably as she shoveled the bacon onto a plate. A few pieces were burnt beyond repair but most were edible. "Well thank you," she whispered. "It's very sweet, and you look kinda cute cooking in your underwear."

He chuckled, "Thanks."

She spun around in his arms and placed her hands on his chest. He looked absolutely ridiculous and she couldn't help but laugh loudly. "You're a mess." She tried to wipe some of the flour off his body but it was no use. "You need to shower."

"Come with me," he tried to bargain as he leaned forward to kiss her. "We can eat this pathetic attempt at breakfast later."

She opened her mouth to tell him that it wasn't a very good idea but nothing came out. He was already playing with the belt of her robe and he was hard to turn down when he was wearing so little.

"B-but…we don't…"

"I know," he grinned. "But I'm sure we can think of something. C'mon, I can make up for my miserable cooking skills in other delicious ways."

April stared at the chart in front of her but wasn't able to absorb any of the patient's information. She was distracted and it wasn't hard to discover why. Across the pit from her was Jackson. She had paged him earlier for a consult, and he was finished with his patient, yet he was still here. And he was still here because he was flirting with a nurse. He was flashing his beautiful smile and batting his eyelashes, and using every weapon that he had in his arsenal to disarm her.

She was trying to tell herself that it didn't mean anything, it was harmless and innocent, and she had pretty much been on two dates since they had started sleeping together and it's not like they were making out in front of her, but still. It still hurt no matter how much she told herself that it didn't.

It didn't matter.

She didn't matter.

She forced her eyes back to her chart and mindlessly twirled her pen in her hand. She had a job to do and Jackson Avery shouldn't be affecting her ability to work.

Sure, he was sweet and gorgeous, and he had tried to make her breakfast this morning, and he had the hands of a magician…

She ran a hand through her hair to rid herself of those thoughts. She needed to stop.

She tensed when she felt a hand on the small of her back minutes later.

"Hey," he whispered excitedly.

"Um, hi," she responded slowly.

It took all of his willpower not to place a kiss on her neck or slip his hand down to her ass. He was in such a great mood. While he had been conducting his consult, an idea had occurred to him. His attempt at making breakfast had failed but he could do something else nice for April. He had spotted Nurse Claudia, a woman who had hit on him many times in the past, and he had smooth talked her into making sure that April got the best traumas that came into the ER today. The woman had complied all too easily.

So he was having a great morning and he wanted to make the day even better. He and April had fooled around in the shower but he desperately wanted to be inside of her. "Can I talk to you for a second…alone?"

The red-head followed him without thought, prepared to give him a piece of her mind, but as soon as he had closed the on-call room door behind him, he gave her the most searing kiss. She melted against him and placed her hands on his biceps, she was sure that her knees had actually buckled.

"What was that for?" She asked in a breathy whisper.

He grinned as his large hands encircled her waist. "I've wanted to do that for hours." He reached into the pocket of his lab coat and pulled out a condom. "I snatched one from the clinic," he declared triumphantly.

April chewed on her bottom lip as she glanced down at her shoes. She used to consider herself to have amazing willpower and discipline. She had fasted before and had gone on lengthy outings with her church group. She had the will to study for hours on end without pause. But throw Jackson Avery into the equation and all of that went out the window.

When she was around him, all that she wanted was to be wanted. She was weak and disgusting.

Jackson tenderly cradled her face and raised her head so that they were eye level. His thumb captured her bottom lip and pulled it out from between her teeth. "I like those lips, remember?" He smiled but it turned to a frown when she didn't smile back at him. "April? What are you thinking?" He leaned forward and brushed his nose against hers. "You can tell me."

That was the problem. She wasn't sure if she actually could tell him what she was thinking. It was all too much. But what she was thinking was bound to rush out eventually. It always did.

So she kissed him instead. Because deep down she wanted too. And because it was the only thing that she could do to rid herself of the mental image of him flirting with that nurse. Apparently, she was the jealous one today.

He returned her kiss eagerly, without question, and started to push her lab coat off of her shoulders.

After a very long and terrible day, April sat at a computer behind a nurses' station to finish off her shift. All of her feelings, all of her guilt and frustration and confusion, had rushed out of her at the worst time, like she knew that it eventually would, and Jackson was not happy with her. He had avoided her for the majority of the day and despite another round of amazing sex, the two conversations that they had managed to have hadn't gone well. They hadn't exactly been conversations per se, she had ranted and he hadn't exactly listened. He had walked out on her on two separate occasions, proving to her, yet again, that this was just sex to him.

She noticed him approaching her out of the corner of her eye but she turned away and hoped that he would pass her by. He was dressed in his street clothes and clearly on his way out of the hospital. Instead, he sat down in the chair beside her and turned her towards him.

She started to speak before he had the chance to finish his opening sentence. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sure that you would prefer your booty calls to be uncomplicated and void of feelings so I think you should probably just seek them somewhere else, okay, 'cause I know this is just sex to you and—"

He angrily interrupted her rapid fire speech. "It's not just sex. I mean, I wish it was. I pretend that it is because you have a good thing going with Jesus but it's not."

That was a shock to her. "It's not?"

"No," he replied quickly, "and stop calling me a car crash, or dessert, or acting like I'm bumming out Jesus." She hadn't mentioned Jesus in a while and when she had this morning, it had just sent him over the edge of the cliff that he had obliviously been perched upon. He couldn't keep hearing that he was her biggest mistake.

"I'm sorry! Yo-you made it seem like it was—"

He interrupted her yet again. "And stop acting like I don't have any feelings, okay? I have feelings. I got a lot of 'em."

"About what?" She questioned in disbelief.

He exploded, "You! About you! April! For you!"

She stared at him with slightly raised eyebrows and he hung his head in frustration. He had not intended to say that. He had just given far too much away.

He looked so broken and it made her feel ten times worse than she already did. She apologized quietly, "I'm...I'm so sorry…that I hurt them…y-your feelings…I…"

"It's okay," he breathed. "Just…"

"I-I thought it was just sex," she explained awkwardly.

What else was she supposed to think? They had never talked about what they were doing. He had never given her any indication that she was his girlfriend, or someone worthy of his affection, or someone that could be more than just his sex friend someday.

"Yeah, so did I," he answered with a humorless smile. It certainly started out that way, but he should have known better. Nothing with April Kepner was that simple. His mother had always said that April was capable of breaking hearts without even knowing it.

Out of nowhere, a wave of happiness rushed over her. If it wasn't just sex then maybe something really great could come out of this. "O-okay," she stuttered.

"Have a good night," he told her before she could say anymore. He needed to get out of here.

"Talk to you tomorrow," she responded automatically.

He stood up and left her staring, still in disbelief, at the space that he had occupied seconds ago.

He had feelings for her? Now, if possible, she was more confused than ever.

Jackson closed his eyes as he finished another beer. He carefully laid it on his kitchen counter next to its four empty friends. He didn't condone drinking alone but after the day that he had had, he needed something to take the edge off.

He heard his doorbell ring and it could only be one person. He sighed as he approached the door. For once, she was actually the last person that he wanted to see.

"April?"

She stood on his doorstep nervous and uneasy. She was still in shock and she wasn't sure how she had even gotten to his house. She had just drove and ended up here. After a very long silence, she looked at him and spoke quietly. "You said you have feelings. What kind of feelings?"

He swallowed harshly. He didn't want to talk about this. He couldn't talk about this. He didn't know how to be this vulnerable. He had never let someone have so much power over him before. "You know how I feel about you," he muttered as he leaned on his door.

She shook her head slowly. "No, I don't." That's why his declaration had come as such a huge shock to her. She had had no idea that it wasn't just sex to him. She could only guess how he felt about her and apparently her guesses had been inaccurate. She had just never let herself imagine that someone like him could feel that way about her. There had been moments that she had thought, 'well maybe', but she had ultimately disregarded them. She exhaled heavily before she spoke again. "Can I come in? Can we try to talk about this?"

He reluctantly pulled his door open wider and motioned for her to come inside. She walked into his living room and he followed her without a word.

They sat down on the sofa and neither of them made a sound. They didn't even look at each other.

April turned towards him and was the first one to speak. "Do you remember the first surgery you scrubbed in on? Like really remember it? Even the smallest detail?"

Jackson's brow furrowed in confusion. Where was she going with this? "Yeah, of course." It had been at Mercy West, his intern year, a liver transplant.

"Well—" She began but he cut her off.

"April," he spoke her name in irritation. "I can't handle another metaphor today." He had already had to hear about car crashes and desserts; he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

"Just listen." She placed her hand on top of his, which was resting on his knee, and rubbed her thumb along his skin. "Please." He gave her a small nod so she gathered her thoughts. "When you scrub in on your first surgery, you're nervous and excited, and it's everything you've ever imagined it would be and yet, at the same time, it's not. It's better than you ever imagined but it's like you never fully grasped what it would mean, what it's really like to have someone's life in your hands. You always romanticized it in your head but there's nothing really romantic about it at all, you have your hands in someone's open chest and—" She abruptly stopped herself when she realized that she was rambling without purpose. "The point is that everything you've ever imagined, everything you've ever done to prepare yourself for it, all of the studying you've done, none of it matters, because at the end of the day, your attending is throwing you in the deep end and you don't really know how to swim. You're going on instinct and how it feels and when it's over, even though all that you want to do is do it again, a small part of you hopes that you're never put in that situation ever again, because if it happens again, you're not sure how you'll handle it."

Jackson often didn't enjoy April's tendency to talk in metaphors but they always made sense to him. Sometimes he wished that she could be a little clearer about what she was trying to say, but he supposed that was a little hypocritical.

She was comparing sex to surgery and he understood that. They were the two great adrenaline rushes in their lives.

"I don't know what I'm doing, Jackson," she whispered. "I'm drowning here."

He scooted closer to her and whispered back. "You're not drowning."

"I am," she argued. "I don't…you never…I thought…I didn't know that it wasn't just sex."

And they were both to blame for that. They had done an equally good job of pushing aside their feelings and putting on masks that they thought the other person wanted to see.

"I thought that you just got jealous because you're a guy and that you said nice things out of obligation," she continued awkwardly. "I'm sorry that I—"

She stopped talking when Jackson cupped her face and tenderly kissed her on the lips. "Sometimes you talk too much, Kepner," he told her with a playful smile.

His body language was much less tense now and it made her sigh in relief. "I think that I've heard that before," she giggled.

He chuckled as he threaded a hand through her hair. He had been so pissed and frustrated today, but he had never been able to stay mad at her for long. Not when she talked so much that all he could do was look at her lips and fantasize. She had hurt him but apparently he was a masochist because he wanted more. He kissed her a few more times before he spoke again. "So what do you want to do?"

She knew that the tail end of his question was unspoken. He wanted to know what she wanted to do about them. "Can we just see where this goes?" She purposed tentatively. No matter how much she freaked out, she didn't want to give this up yet. Maybe they could start dating for real. Go out to dinner and the movies, and she could tell her parents about him.

He smiled sexily, "I would really like that."

Their lips joined in another soft kiss and she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. She placed a kiss on his neck before she asked shyly, "Can I stay over? No post-coital ramblings, I promise."

He grinned as he gently gripped her thighs. "Yeah, you can stay over." Now that she knew where he was coming from maybe things could be different. He lifted her into his arms and slowly stood up. He pulled her legs around his waist and nuzzled his face against her neck. "Can I take you to my bed?"

"Please," she responded breathlessly.

A/N: I wanted to explain a few things like why Jackson has never really seemed jealous of Matthew and why April thought that they were dating in 9x07, so I hope that I did that justice.

Thanks for reading! Please leave a final review! :)