The Sorting Ceremony at Hogwarts was almost complete, as it was a very small class this year with only 38 students. At last the name everyone was waiting for was called:

'Potter, Harry!'

Harry stepped forward among whispers in the hall that the Boy-Who-Lived had finally arrived at Hogwarts. He pulled the hat over his head, and suddenly heard a voice.

'Hmm,' said the small voice.
'Difficult, very difficult. Ravenclaw is full, but I can still put you in any other house... a nice thirst to prove yourself, but that is more beat into you than a part your personality...'

Harry was ignoring most of this and thought, 'Not Slytherin, not Slytherin.'

'Not Slytherin eh? Are you sure? That would complete the house nicely, and you do fit in there – no? Well, in that case – better be GRYFFINDOR!'

Harry moved to his new house among cheers.

Runcorn, Leanne was the next to be sorted, the fifth Hufflepuff girl. Then came 'Smith, Zacharias!'

'Hmm,' the Sorting Hat thought.
'You'd be a perfect Gryffindor with your quick judgement, but alas I see a Weasley further in the line and they have a family spot reserved. I don't want to use up Slytherin, so it is HUFFLEPUFF!'

A slightly bewildered Zacharias went to the yellow and black table.

'Turpin, Lisa' was next.

'Oh my,' the Hat thought.
'You would have been great in Hufflepuff my dear girl, but that house is full. Ah well, might as well be RAVENCLAW!'.

As Lisa was taking her seat, wondering if she had been insulted somehow, it was Ron Weasley's turn.

'GRYFFINDOR!,' the Hat shouted, while thinking that it was a shame Weasleys never got sorted properly, as it robbed the last boy of an option.

'Zabini, Blaise' took his seat under the Hat as the last.

If the Hat could roll its eyes, it would have. 'Braver than Godric himself, and smarter than Nicholas Flamel,' it thought to the young black boy.
'Your potential would be wasted in Hufflepuff, so better be SLYTHERIN!'

And thus ended the sorting of 1991. With the forced quotum that all houses had to be equally filled to the best of their potential, several students were again robbed of their proper place. Zacharias Smith was a selfish coward at heart, traits which would have suited him well in either the lion or snake house. Instead he brought down the reputation of the 'loyal' house over the years.

Lisa Turpin was placed in Ravenclaw, and suffered through years of bullying at the hands of her seniors, much like Luna Lovegood later would, all because she was not able to keep up with her smarter class mates. She might have made a great friendship with Susan Bones and Hannah Abbott, but ended up seldom speaking to them.

The worst was Blaise Zabini's fate. Instead of being in the house of the brave and becoming a natural leader, or joining the ravens and later becoming the greatest alchemist since Nicholas Flamel himself, he joined up with Draco Malfoy's gang and ended up serving twenty years in Azkaban.

All because the Founders set a rule that there had to be, whenever possible, and equal number of boys and girls per house.

A/N: This story is complete. It has served its purpose for me of writing away my frustration about one of the sillier fanon "rules". And yeah this is a crack fic.

Many writers seem to be convinced there must be 40 students in Harry's year, 5 boys and girls per house, without thinking of what this actually means for the Sorting Ceremony. While I have kept only the 38 "canon" students here, if I had added the missing boy (5th Hufflepuff) and girl (5th Gryffindor) it would only have made things worse for Lisa and Blaise as they wouldn't even get an option.

Note that for this ficlet I put Sally-Anne Perks into Gryffindor to even the numbers a bit, despite my conviction she was never sorted there in canon.

A/N 2: Format edited 17-06. I've been told I need to use more blank lines to make it easier to read :)