So this is basically just a Naruto fic that's been floating around my head for a while. A lot of it was inspired by Team 8 which is probably my favorite fic out there. (With Clones a close second.) The world is noticeabley more modern and I'm trying to incorporate some more adult themes into it. Don't know how good it'll turn out right now. This is basically a rewrite of the first two chapters I put up like 3 years ago. I had a falling out with Naruto but a lot of different fanfics on here have pulled me back in.

If you notice any plot holes, dramatic OOCness, or I get preachy just bop me upside the head. I won't mind.

BTW; I do not own Naruto which is why this is fanfiction and not making me several millions like I'm sure whatever corporate slave driver who owns Kishimoto's contract is making.

Naruto: Monotagari

Chapter 1

Sarutobi looked at the records laid out in front of him. The graduation report listed twenty-seven entries, one for each of the students who had passed the Academy's Exam. With a smile the old Hokage picked up the papers for Team Seven.

"Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto," he said while taking a puff of his long pipe.

The paper work had been finished by some Chuunin long before they had reached his desk. Paper work, as it made its way higher and higher up the chain of command, had a tendency to get done long before reaching anyone with real weight on their shoulders. It wouldn't do to disturb someone on the level of a Kage with the day to day management of a school. Besides, some things are better to keep in house. The higher up you go in the chain of command the less you are willing to forgive. How many fine Shinobi had been spared because a kindly senpai had stressed his innocence and fine record? Enough to keep the practice safe at least for a few more generations.

"Hokage-sama," said a determined feminine voice from across the room.

The old man looked up from his unsigned papers and smiled at the kunoichi before him. She was every inch a classic beauty. Her long black hair fell in cascades down past her shoulders while framing the delicate features of her face.

"I wish to speak with you about the Genin teams," the kunoichi said.

Sarutobi's eyes met the kunoichi's hard gaze and immediately looked away. His eyes had almost wandered over that frame in ways he'd been warned about in the pass. It would not do to gawk like an adolescent school boy.

But could you blame him though? He was a man who appreciated beauty and this woman had it in spades.

The Hokage attempted to clear his head, trying to remove the memory of her 'hot apple ass,' as some ninja had called it, from his mind. He had caught a glimpse of it once before during a performance she had put on for the children of the Academy. Her abilities with Genjutsu always delighted the young ones. How they would cheer and clap at whatever minor trick she pulled for their amusement.

Focus, Hiruzen, the almost ancient ninja told himself. This is the 'Spider' you are meeting with. A ninja who weaves webs so fine you never see them until she is ready for you. She wants something otherwise she would not be here talking to an old fart like you.

"Yes, Kurenai," Sarutobi finally said, "I received your note. As you can see, the teams are already selected, the paper work is filled out and all that's left is my signature on a few documents. Are you not happy with the selection?"

Kurenai bowed slightly, looking at the ground as she spoke. "Esteemed Shadow of the Hidden Leaf, the Genin you have honored me with will make a perfect team of trackers. The Hyuuga Byakugan will see our enemies even when they are hidden beneath impenetrable rock. The insects of the Aburame Clan will turn every tree into a new set of eyes. And the Inuzuka Clan's sense of smell will mark our enemies' approach and departure for miles."

"And yet here you are in my office after having left me a note requesting that I place another Genin in your team." Sarutobi spoke plainly. What's your game this time, Kurenai. Let's push a little and see what comes out. "You ask too much of me this day, Kurenai. The teams are perfectly balanced and to change them now would cause severe delays to all the other Jounin sensei. No… I simply cannot do it. Forgive me, Kurenai, but the teams stand."

If these words had any effect on her mood, the Jounin did not reveal it. Calm, collected, and reserved were the words that came to mind watching the experienced ninja make her case. "Honorable Leader of Konoha, I do not ask that you rewrite the rosters. It is only my wish that Uzumaki Naruto be given a spot on Team Eight. It is the right of a sensei to choose her students."

Sarutobi frowned. Naruto? Are you looking to add a Jinchuuriki to your ever expanding list of contacts and allies, he thought as he took another draw from his pipe. Careful now. You're beginning to act like the Danzo you detest so much.

"Uzumaki Naruto was our worst performing student in several very long years." Sarutobi's smiled as if he were relating some bit of gossip. "He cannot be trusted with the delicate duties of a tracker team. He is rash, uncoordinated, lacks even the basics in most jutsu, has almost no understanding of stealth, and there is that other matter of his seal. It is only because of Uchiha Sasuke's skill and Haruno Sakura's intelligence that I have not held the boy back to await the next cycle of Genin selection. As it stands I believe he would compromise almost any mission he is sent in."

That argument had been on the lips of every teacher who had worked with Naruto these past two years. Even Iruka had to admit it; Naruto was a lousy ninja. There was little you could say to such unassailable logic. Each of the boy's weaknesses was well documented, from his inability to perform hand seals at a passable rate, to his failure at working out the most basic genjutsu techniques. It was these sad truths that had convinced almost every ninja in the Hidden Leaf that Naruto was a lost cause. He simply would never make a half decent shinobi. At best he could hope to get by on the skill of his team and who wanted someone like that with them in battle?

But the boy had determination, tenacity (tenacity unlike anything Hiruzen had seen, even from the boy's father) an unbreakable spirit that drove him to push his body until it failed. Which he does, thought Sarutobi. Often. Fortunately the boy handles defeat and failure with more grace than men my age. Everything is an opportunity to grow and learn with him.

"Had such an argument been passed to me not a few days before, I would have accepted it without qualm. But the recent incident involving Mizuki has brought previously unknown facts to light. Anyone who can perform the Kage Bunshin no jutsu deserves recognition, and the fact that he can create a thousand clones and sustain them all against an experienced Chuunin speaks volumes of the boy's potential." Kurenai's eyes remained impassive as she broke her bow to look at her superior. Garnets were not as beautiful as those large irises.

For the second time during that meeting Sarutobi would turn away from those piercing eyes. He'd had the strangest feeling she could read his intentions just by looking at him. "Exactly why it is important he be placed in a team that will allow him to explore these new abilities and make up for his weaknesses."

"And yet neither of his teammates has shown any interest in helping him in the past…"

Sarutobi let out a long stream of smoke from the side of mouth. "What are you saying exactly?"

"That neither Uchiha Sasuke nor Haruno Sakura has shown any interest in helping the boy while in the Academy." Kurenai's voice dropped its formality. She looked straight into the Hokage's eyes unflinchingly. "And I question if either of them are the right choice for helping a Genin just coming into his strengths."

Sarutobi opened his mouth to speak but Kurenai would not give up the floor.

"Very few people in this village have shown Naruto anything but anger and disdain," she continued. "The girl Sakura yells at him for the tiniest infraction and Sasuke has a long established reputation of putting those he sees as beneath him down."

"All the more reason for them to be on a team with Naruto," said Sarutobi sharply from across the room. Shame, if I knew she wanted to argue I would have put a different blend in. This tobacco is far too calming for any sort of confrontation. "You talk about Naruto's well being but what of Haruno or the Uchiha? This is as much about the two of them growing as it is about Naruto becoming a better ninja."

Kurenai sighed. "I understand that, Hokage-sama. But those are not lessons we should jeopardize the health of others over. They are too learn, yes. But not by using someone who's already Konoha's punching bag as a guinea pig. What someone like him, someone like Naruto needs now are words of encouragement and a group who understands that your fellow ninja are your family."

With her arms folded across her chest, Kurenai could have easily been lecturing a disobedient child and not the leader of the Hidden Leaf village.

"A group who will accept him and not treat him with the level of scorn this village has." The kunoichi's voice was harsh, full of the righteous anger that came from defending something she believed in.

"And do you not think Kakashi of all people would show him this love?"

Kurenai's arms dropped to her side. For a moment she seemed to be reconsidering this whole meeting. But then she smiled at the old man and shook her head.

"I know Kakashi must love the boy and would treat him well. But Kakashi is the only other Sharingan user this village has. If he is to perform his duties to Sasuke he cannot be expected to take the place of Naruto's father. He may be forced to play mediator because of the group's animosity towards the boy and make the Uchiha less receptive to his teachings, especially if he is seen to be showing Naruto favoritism."

Anticipating the Hokage's next line of questioning she continued. "I do not doubt he could give Naruto the affection he needs while performing his duties to the Uchiha and even helping Haruno better herself as a ninja. But Naruto needs someone who will not only give him the love he's been denied all his life but also train him in all the areas he is lacking. That is something I do not believe Kakashi can do better than I."

"You are a genjutsu specialist. Kakashi is a master of hundreds of jutsus. I am certain he could teach Naruto everything from the Omote Renge to the most complicated ninjutsu," said Sarutobi. He'd decided he liked her pitch. The woman was very convincing but there were always formalities to cover.

"Naurto lacks the basics, Hokage-sama," Kurenai said in a polite conversational tone while continuing to smile brightly. "You cannot expect Kakashi to bear the burden of teaching the boy how to walk again. Leave that to me. I shall be his keeper."

Kurenai had lifted her hand to her heart. Sarutobi watched her taking all this in. Finally with a smile he relented.

"Have it your way, Kurenai," he said chuckling. "Naruto is yours. I shall re-write the rosters myself. It shouldn't be too difficult."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama." Kurenai bowed deeply before turning to leave.

"Just take good care of the boy," she heard the old man whisper.

Oh don't worry, she thought, a smile playing on her lips. I will. Naruto is too… precious to not handle with care.

She would make it all the way home and past a suspicious Kakashi before she burst into laughter. Taking off her clothes, the kunoichi drew a hot bath. Kurenai felt like celebrating, and what better way to celebrate than with a hot bath.

Well that wasn't so difficult. I suppose it helped I believed all the things I was telling the old man.

As she slid into the hot water, a crow landed on her window sill. The black feathers of its wings beat against the air as it slowed its decent. Kurenai turned her face to watch the bird.

"I suppose he'll remove Kiba or Shino from the team then," she said simply. "No matter, it's Hinata and Naruto I'm truly interested in and the two shall remain in my charge."

Its red eyes taking in every movement she made, the bird brought its beak down against the wood of her home. Smiling, Kurenai continued her bath letting the water wash away the unpleasantness of the morning.

Kakashi watched Kurenai leave the Hokage's office and head toward her home. He didn't need his Sharingan to tell him she'd been acting strange. Kurenai had always disliked spending time with the other shinobi, but she had always made the effort. An appreciative smile at some joke or other even when it was made at her expense could always be expected from the relatively new Jounin. Kakashi had liked that about her. A good sport was rare amongst women at her rank. But lately she had been distant, avoiding the other Jounin like they avoided civilians.

"What's up with you Kurenai?" he asked no one in particular. "What could you have wanted to see Hokage-sama about and why have you been avoiding us?"

Pocketing his book, Konoha's Copy-Nin then followed the kunoichi from her home to where he knew she went when she had free time, the Konoha's Children's Nursery.

"Kurenai-sama," said a small blonde girl with pigtails.

Kurenai stopped laughing at a joke one of the boys in the front row had told her. Shushing him, the Kunoichi nodded at the outstretched arm.

"What's the difference between boys and girls?" the small girl asked.

"Why do you ask, Kira-chan?"

"Well, I was playing in the bath tub with Mino-kun and tou-san." The girl looked down suddenly, very embarrassed at sharing what had happened behind closed door with the older woman.

"Tou-san got very cross…" she finished not meeting Kurenai's gaze.

The Jounin's smile reflected the affection she felt for the future shinobi in front of her. "Kira-chan has brought up a very interesting question."

Standing, Kurenai walked up to a black board behind her and began to write in capital letters 'Male and Female Anatomy. The difference between girls and boys or gender and sex.'

"The differences between girls and boys that led your father to become so cross with you had to with anatomy…"

Before she could continue a hand shot up from the front row.

The same boy who had made her laugh earlier didn't wait to be called before asking his question. "What's ano-whatever mean?"

It was amazing how Kurenai managed to speak, write down everything she said on the board and treat her makeshift class to her loving smile the entire time.

"Anatomy," she said drawing the word out slowly. "It means what makes up our bodies."

"Oh…"

The children looked at each other, not sure what to say. Noticing their confusion Kurenai tried to put them at ease. "What you need to remember from this is that you aren't all that different. Anatomically we began the same way. It was our experiences in life that made us so different. So really…"

The genjutsu specialist made a sweeping motion with her arms as if to embrace all present. "We're all the same! We're just better at different things."

"Like you and genjutsu!" cried a girl in the back row delighted to understand her sensei's meaning. Equally delighted she had reached one of the children present Kurenai nodded before beginning to erase the board.

"But, Kurenai-sensei, does that mean I can still turn into a girl?"

It was the same boy from before. While Kurenai did not appreciate how often he spoke out of turn, she valued his inquisitive and critical mind. Such things should be nurtured; she often told herself and anyone who would listen.

"Our sex is determined at birth by the hormones in our bodies," Kurenai replied slowly. How do I answer the boy truthfully without pitchfork wielding parents showing up to have me flayed?

"Hormones," she began to elaborate, "are just chemicals your body produces. And these chemicals end up having an impact on what we look like physically. Ultimately however, it is our life choices that make us who we are. Like how I was born with red eyes but being Konoha's Genjutsu master?" As she spoke the room became filled with dancing lights that swirled around the children before decorating the ceiling with their likeness. "That was something I chose to become."

Squeelling, the kids bounced up and downToday is turning into a fine day, she thought blissfully. Just then she noticed a high chakra level approach hers. Looking to the door she saw Hatake Kakashi standing there, Icha Icha novel in hand, his one lazy eye looking around taking in the room.

Beaming Kurenai looked away from her fellow Jounin. "Class, I think we've all learned a lot today. Go play but don't stray too far from the nursery, kay?"

The children cheered and ran outside past the Copy-Nin. With a bored expression he watched them all head out before turning his eye to Kurenai who greeted him with a warm smile.

"It's good to see you Kakashi. I didn't know you volunteered here."

"I don't," Kakashi said simply. "But I know you do which is why I'm here. I wanted to talk to you."

"Are you upset that I've taken Naruto away from you?" ask Kurenai, her voice innocent but still very defensive to someone as experienced as the ex-ANBU operative. "I thought you would welcome the opportunity to train Sasuke on your own. Dealing with the demanding amount of training for a Sharingan user and looking after a Jinchuuriki…"

Kakashi cut her off. "That's…. that's not why I'm here."

Seeing her at a loss for words Kakashi continued. "You've been acting weird, Kurenai. After a mission you report directly to the Hokage and then head home or to the nursery. It's like none of us exist to you anymore. I wanna- I wanna make sure my friend is ok. Did something happen?"

It was rare for this Jounin to show open concern for others. That he would approach her directly instead of going behind her back for the answers he wanted was something Kurenai appreciated. Both because it meant he respected her and because it meant she could continue her schemes in peace.

He really is a good guy, she thought.

Kurenai smiled at the masked Jounin. "Nothing is wrong, Kakashi, I'm fine. I suppose I was so excited to become a sensei I've been neglecting you all. I'm off in an hour. Get Asuma and hell even Gai and we can all go out for the night. I've made all the preparations for my Genin team so it won't be an issue if I take the night off."

"Gai…" Kakashi sighed.

"Oh!" laughed Kurenai thinking back on the 'rivalry' between the Copy-Nin and Konoha's Green Beast. "I know the two of you love each other's company."

Kakashi's exposed eye shot wide open. The man could not have had a more outraged look on his face if someone had told him he were pregnant with a bijuu.

"…why not?" was all he said.

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