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The Sealand Chronicles

Entry #9

"So England, tomorrow's your birthday," America began, patting his brother on his back before taking a seat across from him in the living room. All three of the brothers were writing Fanfiction and the American had just come back from eating a snack. "It's the big one nine dude. Man, you're really getting old. After a while, you won't even be able to walk without a cane anymore. And I don't mean one of the cool canes that evil villains usually have, I'm talking about one of those two-handed silver ones that have tennis balls attached to the legs."

"Ha ha, very funny," England said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he stopped typing on his computer to look at his brother. "You know, you're only two years younger than me. You'll be hitting nineteen in no time."

"Yeah, but I still have two good years left. You're practically just a corpse now. "

"A corpse? I'm still in college."

"You're just getting pathetic now. It's over dude. Accept it. You've lived a good life."

"Yeah, England, you're getting to be so old!" Sealand chimed in. "I'm surprised you can still even hear us!"

"Hey, that was a good one bro," the American chuckled.

"Because you know, when you get older your hearing starts to go away," the micro-nation continued. "And since you're getting old, your hearing should be going away."

"Dude, stop talk-"

"You get it? I'm implying that you're old without actually saying it. How do you like that?"

"Dude," America sighed, shaking his head. "Dude, you had it and you let it go."

"What? No, I didn't. I had it then I wrapped it up, put a bow on it and gave it to him. That's how good it was."

"No man. It was more like you had it then you threw it into an active volcano before it was hit by the sun... then it exploded."

"Oh." Sealand sat there wide-eyed. "Well then."

"Yeah. So, back to the topic at hand, England, what do you think you're going to do tomorrow for you birthday? You know, besides prepare your coffin?"

"I'm not sure, but for one thing I know I'm not going to spend it with that French bastard. He claims he has the world's best gift for me but I have a feeling I already have an idea of what it is and I want nothing to do with it."

"Why don't you spend it with me and Ravis?" the youngest boy offered. "We're going to make little wooden figurines of the feet of the original Star Trek characters. " Both of the older brothers looked at each for a few moments before staring back at the blond.

"Sealand, what the hell?" America asked incredulously. "I mean seriously, what the actual hell? That just sounds like a horrible idea. Like, just in general."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to do that on any day of the year, let alone on my birthday," the Brit added.

"Well sorry," Sealand fake-apologized. "It was just a su-"

"Yeah, you should be sorry," the American asserted before looking back at his older brother. "Sorry you had to hear that bro."

"It's okay. I'll probably get over it."

"We can only hope."

"Guys!" the micro-nation cried, staring at his computer. "Guys, the funniest thing just happened!"

"What?" the American asked. "What is it?"

"Okay well, I just started my fanfiction again and I wanted a synonym for explain so on google I looked up explain synonym. Turns out, the computer thought I was asking it to actually explain the word synonym and gave me the definition for it! Isn't that hilarious?" the blond finished, chuckling.

"No. No, it really isn't," England said.

"Yeah dude, not in the slightest," America added.

"Oh whatever, you guys just don't know humor," the youngest boy dismissed, waving off the idea going back to his laptop. "Oh wait guys! Something interesting just happened!"

"What? As interesting as the explain synonym thing?"

"That was funny but this one is just interesting."

"Well, what is ir?"

"Okay so, I was writing my fanfiction again and I accidently clicked the search button on google drive and typed in g in the search box. Turns out, I have exactly seventy-four g's in my story so far. That's kinda cool right?" The American turned to look at his older brother.

"I feel like.. like I should've learned not to ask him about things he says are interesting things after explain synonym, but I still did it and I honestly don't know why."

"Wait look, now I'm going to check how many zs I have in this story," Sealand said, typing on his laptop. "Huh, it looks like I only have one measly z. Well that doesn't seem fair. Here, I'm going to make one of my characters go to sleep so I can write ZZZZZ and add more zs. Do you wanna know how many z's I have in my story now?"

"No, not really," England said.

"Seventeen. I have exactly seventeen zs now. Now, the letters seem to be a little more balanced out, don't you think?"

"Okay bro, because I'm a hero I have to be totally honest with you," America began. "I really do not care about the number of zs in your story. In fact, I'm pretty sure nobody does."

"That's not true. England don't yo-"

"Don't ask me," the Englishman ordered, staring at his own laptop. "Do not ask me."

"Fine then, be that way," the micro-nation scoffed, closing his laptop as he got up. "I don't care anyway."

"See? Dude, even you don't care about it," the American smirked.

"What? That's not what I meant! I- ah, just forget it. I need to go to the bathroom." The blond left the living room. The other two teens continue to work on their fanfiction stories for about 10 minutes when their youngest brother came back.

"Hey guys, Check out it out," Sealand said, reentering the room. "I just just found this snazzy new jacket lying around the house. It's a bit big for me but I love it." The two nations turned around and saw the coat the boy was wearing.

"Whoa, where'd you get that?" England asked. "That's the jacket I've been wanting to get for over a month."

"It was just in the house."

"Wait, what do you mean 'it was just in the house'?" America questioned, getting up to examine the jacket his sibling was wearing.

"I found it in a blue box. It had a green bow on it. Why?"

"Why?! Because that was the gift I got England for his birthday. Why would you open it?!"

"Whoa, don't yell at me Amey! It's not my fault. How was I suppose to know that?"

"Because it was jacket was gift-wrapped in a bow with a bow on it. Oh, and there was a card on it that said 'Happy Birthday England, you're not dead yet, from America."

"I saw that but it seemed so vague. I didn't know what it meant!"

"You didn't know what it me- How could you know what it meant? Don't you speak English?!"

"Yes, but I-"

"Ugh, just forget it," the American groaned, rubbing his temples. "I can't deal with this right now. Just give me the jacket."

"Aww, but it's so comfy."

"Sealand..."

"Fine. Here, take it." The blond removed the coat he was wearing and handed over to the bespeckled teen.

"Thank you." America turned around and threw the article of clothing at the Brit before turning around started to exit the room. "Happy Birthday Bro, if I can even say that anymore."

"Actually, you can't say that just yet," Sealand clarified. "Since tomorrow is really his birthday, not today." The American turned around and glared at the blond.

"Shut up bro. Just shut up."

Based on a true story. Please Review!