My face became a cold pale. This couldn't be happening; it had to be a trick! I stared at the kitchen's TV in utter shock. My jaw hung far below my mouth, catching the salted tears that fell into it. I screamed in….I don't know why I screamed. I just had to scream, scream and hope that all this would go away as if it were a bad dream. That's it, it was just a bad dream a dream that I will wake up from in

3…

2…

1…

I opened my eyes. I was still here, it was still happening. I stared at the TV the image of police men pulling my best friend's lifeless body from the ally. Again I screamed and again I couldn't figure out the reason behind my wails.

My family responded to the echoing sound as they ran into the kitchen. At this point I am lying on the tile in a fetal place. What a sight I must have been. My mother ran over to me and kneeled next to me trying to get me responding. I continued to ball as she continued to ask what was happening and what was going on. It was my grandmother who answered the question. My parents both looked at the TV and reached the state of shock I was in. My father picked me up from the floor carrying me into the living room as my mother began calling, I could only guess everyone. She had a way of getting news around faster than even the news channel.

I sat on the velvet sofa holding my knees close to my chest. My father petted my hair in attempt of converting me but it did little to help. I couldn't wrap my head around anything. It just didn't make any sense, he can't be gone Danny can't be gone. My heart felt heavy a heaviness that no one should ever have to carry. I use to tell him of my heart and how it might be love and all of things I was so scared of. Now I will never have the chance. I continued to wail, I didn't know what else to do I wailed and cried and never said a word.

I soon found myself at his house. My parents had brought me here whether to get me to speak or just to keep me from screaming again. I looked at the building that had held so many memories. Of times that we lied to his parents, of all those late nights playing video games, all the times we almost spoke our minds, and all those unforgettable moments. I wanted to cry again but I had no more tears to give. We walked into the home to meet with sadden faces and oceans of salt. Others from our town had gathered as well, Tucker and his parents, Dash, Paulina, Star, Quan, Valerie, and several others from our school. But my eyes only locked on one. There was no question in my mind that he had something to do with this!

"Vlad….." I hissed staring at the man that had tried several times to kill Danny.

I walked over to the man and pushed him into the empty kitchen where no one could hear us.

"You're a pig," I screamed. I could have thought of something more vial but my mind was still loose and fuzzy.

"If you are implying that I did this you are mistaken girl," his words were sharp but full of grief.

"Let me think about that, how many other times did you try to kill Danny? Shall we count?" I yelled.

"I have never tried to kill Danny, perhaps Jack but never my little badger. He was like a son to me."

"You're a crazy fruit loop you know that! And I'm going to make sure everyone knows what you did!" I snapped finding the remains of my ocean.

"For the last time girl I had nothing to do with this." I stared into Vlad's eyes, a gleam covered the lower half, I knew he was telling the truth; but that left me wonder what really happen?

"Then what happen?" I could feel myself shivering from my own question.

"I do not know but I will figure it out." His voice was determined as he walked from the kitchen. I shortly followed sitting on the couch I've known over the years next to Tucker.

We all waited and we all listened yet no one made a sound. There was nothing to say and too much to listen to. I wanted this nightmare to be over yet I could not wake, I could not break free of whatever curse I was under and it killed me. Too many questions rattled in my head, too many uncertainties and too many whys.

He couldn't be gone

He just couldn't be!

My best friend couldn't be gone forever. Maybe he was just fighting a ghost somewhere. Maybe that was just a copy that was placed there so he could forever be a hero. Maybe he just split himself and that was one of his copies. As I thought my maybes became more unreal and more of hopes and fantasies that I prayed were truthful.

Again I wept but yet I felt nothing, I could no longer feel anything. Everything I felt was a lie, it had to be a lie. I stood from the couch and walked up the staircase. No one tried to stop me because they knew they couldn't if they wanted to. I walked slowly, hoping, just hoping that he would be lying in his bed bruised and scared after a battle. He would be there Danny would just be waiting for me like so many times before. He just had to be, I could feel my arms shaking as I walked up the stairs and made my way in front of his door. I waited for a moment, maybe it would be best not to look but I had to know. I needed proof even if I didn't want it.

I turned the knob walking into the dark room. I switched the bedroom lamp on to see only emptiness. I had gotten my proof even though I didn't want it I got it. My body shivered as I sat on the neatly made bed. The fabric felt soft and warm as I brushed my hand across the sheet. I listened to the world around me. Everyone had begun speaking since I made my walk of hope. Questions rang through the floor boards and echoed through the empty room.

What happen?

What caused this?

Who's to blame?

How could this happen?

Why?

I heard that one more than any other.

Why?

I had no answer but I craved one. I had so many unanswered questions that I feel will never have any answer. I pulled Danny's sheet and wrapped the warmth around me. I felt what warmth he left behind, I felt him in the sheets and I felt the unanswered questions and the never ending search for answers. But for now I wasn't asking any questions, I wasn't seeking any answers there would be time for that later and right now I didn't care. I only wanted Danny to be back and no amount of questions or answers will ever do that.

I woke and looked at the clock the time reading 1:25 am. I could still hear the crying from below and the never ending questions. I could see a figure sitting in the shadows of the wall. My face glowed with excitement. I quickly grabbed Danny's flashlight and shinned it at the figure.

"Danny!" I yelled in joy.

But my joy was short lived as the light hit the figure. Tucker sat asleep in the purple bean bag that I had bought Danny for his last birthday. My expression soured. I felt angry, not at Tucker but at myself for believing that it was Danny.

I threw the flash light narrowly missing Tucker. He woke quickly and looked at me his eyes puffed and sadden. Tucker walked slowly over to me, he sat and pulled me tightly against him. I laid my head on his shoulders choking on the air. I pulled away from my friend lying again on the hot pillow. I pulled myself up again and yelled in anger at the hot pillow. I punched the white cushion hearing the crinkle of paper. Tucker and I both stared at the pillow with interests. I gentility placed my hand between the cushion and the cover pulling out a piece of folded up paper.

"Go turn on the lights," I told Tucker staring at the note.

The boy wasted no time as in flipping the switch and returning to the bed. I stared at the folded paper, it was crumpled and old, it was obvious that it had been read and studied countless times. I open the page carefully in hopes of not ripping it.

I quickly read down the list only asking myself; Why?

The room filled with tears as family and friends talked of his memories. I sat waiting until everyone had spoken. Everyone wore black, no one smiled, no one talked, and everyone cried. I looked at the casket that held my best friend. The heaviness never ended with answers only increased in weight. I had wished I truly hadn't know but then I'd spend my entire life wondering. No one deserves that and after today no one will. Mrs. Fenton mentioned me to the podium, I had told them I wanted to speak but I never told anyone what I would say. I didn't know what I was going to say either but I had a guide. I held onto the crumpled paper as if it was the very thing that kept me in reality. I walked silently and steady to the front where I stopped.

I looked at my friend lying still in the suit he had gotten not long ago, make up hiding the death on his skin and the spell of sweet perfume that covered him. Gifts lay across the boy Toys, flowers, notes, and the Fenton thermos. Tucker had put that in, neither one of us told his parents his secret we decided it best to wait until after the funeral.

Cold air filled my lungs as I turned to face the depressed gazes and oceans of salt that filled the room. I unfolded the paper that Tucker and I had found less than a week ago. I read aloud what I had read to myself so many times, but no matter how many times I read it, it still doesn't make sense.

Reason's why:

Not strong enough

Not smart enough

No one cares enough to ask what's wrong

Can't protect everyone forever

(I had decided to leave out Family hates me.)

Can't tell the girl I love the truth….

I'm a freak

I'm not good enough

I will never be good enough

Every time I get a little a little self confidence I'm push right back down.

Everyone judges me

No one listens

I try to talk, I try to ask for help but I'm always put second. I just want to be heard.

I'm a loser

I'm a baby

I'm weak

I was never meant to be the hero…..

I placed the note in his pocket and walked back to my seat. Everyone was in a state of shock, many had thought Danny was killed in a drug deal or was attacked by the ghost boy which in some ways was true. Mr. Fenton had even posted a reward for anyone who had information on his son's murder. People all wondered why someone would kill Danny but after listening they wonder why they hadn't listen to begin with.

I wish I could have read the reasons why not but I couldn't bring myself to do so. One thing was listed only one reason.

Sam

After the funeral I found myself once again in the home of my best friend. I looked around the lab, the lab where it all started where he had his accident and where we first kissed even if it was a fake out make out there was still memories around it. I looked at the ghost portal, that dam portal! If he was never changed maybe he wouldn't have done it! Maybe if his parents weren't so busy working on it they could have listen. Maybe if he was never my friend he wouldn't have fallen so far. I sat on the hard ground staring at the green vortex. My eyes never left the color as they filled with tears.

"Danny, are you there?" I asked to the vortex.

"If you can hear me can you let me know? I should have told you, told you how much you meant to me. I should have told you how much I… I loved you."

Something broke the green vortex, broke the pattern of spirals and twist. I stared rubbing my eyes at what I saw.

The two green eyes stared at me through the looking glass.

The two green eyes that held so much to me,

The two green eyes that had always been there for me,

The two green eyes that I knew so well,

The two green eyes that answered all my questions,

The two green eyes that answered

Why…