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Drabble 1

Fairy Champions

Harry and his loves were hiding in one of the Potter homes under fidelius near the Forest of Dean. It was now five years after Emperor Voldemort had taken over all of Britain, Magical and Muggle, and his forces were busy subjugating the Germans (the French had surrendered almost immediately, of course, and France was another province of the Pureblood Empire).

The Ministry had fallen in what would have been Harry's seventh year, and the trio had been on the run since. They had found a single horcrux, but Dumbledore's cryptic clues were no help in finding any others. What, did he expect them to just accidentally find them as they were camping?

Now they were hiding in the middle of nowhere, to escape the roving bands of Snatchers and Aurors that were after Undesirables Number One, Two, and Three.

'Well loves,' Harry said, 'this is it. We haven't been able to find a single one of You-know-who's toys in seven years, and the food is running out.'

'What do you propose honey,' Hermy asked, 'that we perform a suicide pact? I can't face the dementors or worse...'

Suddenly a whimsical music began playing, and birds flew in from the window. On a beam of sunlight came a woman gliding in. She was wearing an ornate pink dress with glittering stars, was wearing a high silver crown, and was holding a long wand with a star on top in her right hand.

In short, she was Glinda the Good Witch, as portrayed in the movie.

'Dread not my dears, for I, Glinda, have come to help!'

'Aren't you supposed to be Lilith the Fairy Queen, or maybe Santa?' asked Hermy.

'Ha, ha, ha! Rubbish! It's all the same my sweety. Now, the world is a mess. This Dark Lord upstart is persecuting the fairies, and this must stop. Since you didn't stop him in time, I will send you back to your fifth year so you can try again.

'I will give you fairy powers, and you can keep all your memories. Now do stop that nasty Tommy Riddle this time!'

She waved her wand, and a sparkly mist surrounded the trio.

They woke up on the Hogwarts lawn. Hogwarts in the 'present' was Voldemort's headquarters, and he once proud castle had been turned into a dark and evil place. But this past Hogwarts was as they remembered it.

Harry looked at his loves and smiled. They were back as their teen-aged selves, when they had first fallen in love. And it looked like Glinda/Lilith had sent gifts back with them!

The Great Hall looked on in shock as the trio entered. Harry was wearing a purple outfit with gold stripes on it of a long vest with buttons and matching buttons, a white shirt under it opened to the third button. Herman Granger was wearing the same, his wild hair tamed by a headband. Completing the trio was Linus Lovegood, wearing much the same, but he was wearing a skirt instead. They all had matching handbags as well when they entered, except for Linus, who was carrying a pink poodle.

The fairy champions had arrived.

A/N: A parody of course of Paladeus' challenge, and at the same time one of how the media portrays gays. To see the outfit Harry and co are wearing, do a Google image search for 'De Toppers'. Have bleach for your eyes ready.

Please don't kill me.