Lovino poured himself another glass of wine, emptying the bottle. No matter how much he drank, Arthur's repulsed expression and hateful words still replayed in his head, although many days had passed. But he deserved it after what he did. He knew somehow Arthur wouldn't be happy to see him, but his heart had hoped that maybe there was still a remnant of Arthur's affection, a shell of what once was, but he'd been wrong and now his heart was paying the price...along with his liver.

"Why are you drinking again tonight? You're going to kill yourself." Feliciano stared at him from across the table with wary concern. Although he'd been living with Lovino over a year, Feliciano still kept his distance and hadn't completely forgiven him. It made Lovino miserable to think that life had changed his little brother into a suspicious, cold man. Or maybe he was only that way with Lovino. Both thoughts were equally depressing.

"Would it really be so bad if I died? I'm quite sure many people would celebrate if I died. You and Arthur would probably be among them." Lovino sipped his wine slowly.

"That's not true!"

He looked up in surprise at Feliciano's outburst, but his brother looked away. Lovino sighed and stared at his glass. "I saw Arthur."

"When?" Shock colored Feliciano's voice, not that it surprised Lovino. Feliciano didn't know he'd spent the last two years collecting the Kirkland investments; most of the land had been mortgaged or sold and the houses left to decay. His brother probably thought he'd forgotten about Arthur completely. They never talked about those happier days when they both could smile with the ease and closeness of brothers.

"Last Sunday."

"That's why you didn't go to church?"

"Cheh. Church is for believers; something I'm not."

"It wouldn't hurt for you to go."

"I think my 'service' for the Church is enough—I've given them enough money," he corrected himself, glaring at his glass for making his mouth loose. There was so much he hadn't told Feliciano, things Feliciano would find him despicable for, and probably would never tell him. He'd grown use to hiding his secrets and lying to keep them out of the light. It was habit now, and easier than the truth. People rather believe lies than see the dark truth behind them. His brother was no different.

"What did Arthur say to you?"

"Nothing I didn't expect. Give me that other bottle."

"Did you give him all those letters?" Feliciano handed him the bottle.

He frowned at Feliciano. He'd gone out of his way to make sure those letters were hidden where no one could find them. If the wrong person happened upon them, he'd be ruined. High society scorns those who sin with the same sex, and the Church would surely have him killed for such heresy. He was to enforce "God's law" and that of his priests, not undermine it with his own lust. "How do you know about those?"

"I've seen you write them." His brother looking at him, sadness for him flashing in his eyes. "I know you still love him."

Lovino poured himself a glass, but didn't touch it. "Yes, I love him, but I kept my promise. I can move on now."

"Then why are you drinking?" Feliciano sighed.

"It doesn't matter," he snapped and took a gulp of wine. "All that matters is I've fulfilled all my promises."

"I'm still waiting for a home."

His shoulders sagged, and Lovino pressed a hand to his face. Out of everything, this is what he regretted most. He loved his brother more than anything and that was the point of all the running and destruction. He only wanted to make a place where Feliciano could be safe and paint as much as he wanted, but his brother despised him for it. Feliciano's unhappiness invalidated all his efforts and sacrifices. There was no purpose to the countless lives ended and time lost, if Feliciano wouldn't even smile. In that aspect, he wished he had never left his brother. "Will you ever forgive me? I came back for you."

"But you came back changed. I was waiting for my brother, not a stranger." Feliciano rose from his seat, refusing to look at him. "I know you're still the same inside, but you don't act like yourself." Feliciano turned to leave.

"Don't! Please, stay." Lovino looked up at his brother and reached out his hand, but he slowly withdrew it again. Their house felt empty, cut off by a wall Lovino knew he built himself. This isn't what he imagined would happened when he returned to Feliciano. He thought his brother would smile and hug him like he use to, but things had changed, as he had also changed. Lovino knew he didn't act the same, but he didn't think Feliciano would reproach him for it. As much as he wanted his brother back, that didn't happen and it was his fault. Feliciano also wanted his brother, but what he got was a cold, bitter man, and Lovino was only getting the same thing from him.

Feliciano smiled sadly at the irony of his words, once spoken by Feliciano to Lovino so many years ago. "Will you finally talk to me?"

"I...Yes." He was tired, too tired to deny his brother what he deserved. Lovino was done.

...

Arthur stood in front of a small house, surprising for someone of wealth, and hesitantly knocked. From inside, he heard Lovino call out in Italian, "Feliciano, get the fucking door!"

"I'm getting it!"

"Stop yelling, dammit!"

Feliciano opened the door with a pout, but stared in shock when he saw who it was. "Arthur...?"

"Hello, Feliciano. It's been awhile. You look well." He smiled slightly. Feliciano had grown since he last saw him, so many years ago at the Edelstein's manor. His face had lost some of it previous softness, and his eyes no longer held the innocence of someone who knew nothing of the world's pain. Time had also left its mark on dear, little Feliciano.

The little Italian stared at him, but didn't smile as Arthur expected him to. "Thank you. Please, come in. I'll get Lovino." Feliciano led him into the sitting room, and disappeared down the hall.

He seated himself and waited. Awhile later, Lovino emerged, his eyes tired, but lit with a cautious glimmer of hope. His clothes were rumpled and wrinkled, as if he'd just woken up. Unlike before, Lovino hadn't bothered to put on a suit, and instead wore a plain shirt and pants. But they were both tailored to fit Lovino's slim build perfectly. "Ciao, Lovino."

The brunet raised a brow at his Italian and replied as such, "Do you speak Italian now?"

"You told me to learn."

"Yes, I did." Lovino seated himself in a chair, and rubbed a hand through his hair, trying to smooth it down. "I was not expecting visitors today. What brings you here, Mister Kirkland?"

"I am unhappy with what you gave me. You let me suffer for five years without you. Money, wealth, or power can't repay that." Arthur carefully kept his face blank.

"Then what do you want?" Lovino stared at him sadly. In his exhaustion, emotions flitted over his face as freely as they did many years ago.

Arthur rose and knelt in front of Lovino, taking his hand between his own. "I want those years back, and I want them with you."

Blush slowly colored Lovino's cheeks as he processed Arthur's words. Somethings never change. "What...What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, although I don't forgive you, I still love you. I want to be with you again."

Lovino stared at him, shocked into a momentary silence. "But...But you know what I've done and what I continue to do. I'm not a good person, Arthur."

"This might be a bit upfront of me, but I don't care. We all do terrible things to get what we want. There's a saying for what I feel...Ah, love is blind. I could focus only on the ugly parts of you and turn into a bitter, lonely man with no love and no life, or forgive you and be happy with the parts I know are kind and wonderful. I can't stop loving you. I tried, but five bloody years is enough for me to know I can't stop. What do you think, shall we try again?"

A small, cautious smile curled on Lovino's lips, more genuine than all of the smiles Arthur had seen so far. Lovino cover their hands, his smile slowly spreading wider. "I think that's a wonderful idea...bastard."

I was just kidding. This is the real last chapter. It has been awesome writing this. I never expected it to get so popular, really. It was just something I wrote without anything in mind, but look at it now. An entire year I've stuck to this story and it's finally done. This is the first story I've finished and it is my longest at the moment. If any of you are looking for more Engmano, check out my other stories (although I don't suggest reading anything from before the time I published this story). Thank you all for you reviews and favorites, they have given me the confidence to finish this story.

-Windy