So this chapter is going to have a lot more Spock/Jamie in it. :) just to tease XD

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Five days after our return to Earth, I was woken with a knock on my door. Running my fingers through my hair, I answered the door, praying that my hair wasn't too terrible. When I opened my door, my face burned, and I looked down. Spock stood in my doorway, looking just as good in casual clothing as he always did in Starfleet uniforms.

"Umm, good morning," I stuttered, embarrassed "Would you like to come in."

"Of course." He said softly, a smile just barely touching his lips. When he had entered, I closed the door and turned around, only to be me with his lips brushing mine briefly. "You look beautiful." he whispered.

I blushed even brighter red, unable to respond. "Excuse me." I stammered, nearly running my room to change and comb out my hair. When I emerged, I sported a comfy pair of jeans, and a casual blouse to match. I hadn't bothered with shoes, leaving my feet covered only by my socks.

"Ok, now I can say good morning properly." I smiled, walking into my living room. Spock sat on the end of my large sofa, looking up at me curiously.

"You looked perfectly fine before." he murmured.

"I wasn't about to go anywhere except back to bed in those clothes." I responded, "And my hair was knotted really bad."

He simply shrugged.

"Would you like anything to eat?" I asked. "I don't exactly have anything Vulcan, but I do make a wicked bowl of cereal. If pressed, I can even scramble some eggs." I teased.

"I ate before arriving here." He stated flatly. "But do not let myself interrupt your routine. Please, eat."

I nodded, pouring myself a quick bowl of cereal before sitting next to him on the sofa. Despite his protests that it wasn't, I felt very awkward eating next to him when he didn't have anything to eat. I scarfed down my food as a result, hoping that I didn't seem too eager or rushed.

As soon as I had leaned forward and set my bowl on the coffee table, Spock's arms wrapped around my middle and drew me to him.

"Not that I'm complaining," I smiled, "but why the sudden desire to cuddle?"

"Do I need a reason?" he asked, his expression genuinely confused.

"No!- I mean, of course not." I said quickly, "I was just wondering."

He acknowledged me, and buried his face in my hair as I was pulled onto his lap. I leaned to lay on his chest, perfectly happy to remain there forever. I was fascinated by the fact that a Vulcan, even if by half, was not only showing emotion, but expressing it openly and shamelessly. My brain didn't want to understand it, but I thought that it must have been because of his human mother that he was so affectionate.

It was a beautifully long while before either of us spoke.

"Do you wish to lie down?" he asked in a soft voice.

"Sure." I mumbled, sliding down the sofa and resting my head in his lap. His hand ran across my head, his fingers combing through my hair. I sighed in contentment and the utter rightness of it all. I glanced up at his face, to be met with a look of deep thought, and that same strange expression both on his face and burning in his dark brown eyes.

"I wish I could know what you're thinking." I whispered, not really intending for him to listen.

"Nothing of consequence." he murmured in return.

"It's just so hard to understand you sometimes. I mean, you do a good job of explaining yourself," I said, "But I just wish there was a way for me to understand the way you work- the way you think, so I wouldn't have to ask you all the time."

His expression remained thoughtful, until a slight flicker of enlightenment crossed.

"There may be." he said quietly, "But as you are human and not Vulcan, it would be a very intense sensation for you."

I thought for a moment before I realized what he spoke of.

"A mind-meld?"

"Yes. And I would never think of doing it unless you were absolutely certain that you wanted to." he said with a firmness, "It would be a total invasion of privacy otherwise."

"I see." I said slowly. "Before I do any deciding, though, was there anything else you needed or wanted to do today? I don't want to occupy all of your time needlessly."

"There is nothing at all for me to do," he said, "except spend my day with you."

"Oh." I said, "Um, would you mind if I took a quick shower? My hair feels gross, I'm sure."

"I wouldn't mind," he said, "But your hair is not, 'gross'."

"Awe thanks." I said, rising from the sofa and kissing his forehead, "But you're slightly biased."

"As are you." he mumbled before I was out of hearing range.

I don't remember taking a faster shower in my whole life. I had brought my clothing into the bathroom with me so Spock could sit in my bedroom. I didn't want him sitting awkwardly out in my living room with nothing at all going on, so we might as well be able to talk while I showered. When I was done, I dressed in a pair of seats and an old tee shirt. I had decided that I wasn't going anywhere, and if I did, I would have to be given a half-hour's notice if I was to look presentable.

"Interesting choice." Spock commented, taking in my clothing.

"Today shall be my lazy day." I said, leaping onto my bed and sitting cross-legged at the head while he sat at the foot. "I am not going anywhere, and if I must, I require a half an hour to look presentable." I stuck my tounge out, emphasizing my point.

"I do not see myself having to alter those plans." he said, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Have you made a choice?"

I nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yes, I have. I want you to do it."

He simply nodded, scooting to sit next to me at the head of my bed. My mind briefly took a field trip to the gutter, realizing that Spock was in my bed with me. He had taken his shoes off before climbing into my bed, and was sitting so close to me that our shoulders brushed. I cleared my mind of those thoughts before he would have a chance to read them. In a moment, he had placed his fingers on my face, their cool touch almost making me ticklish.

In a flash, I was brought through an abbreviated version of his childhood and his time in the Academy Conflicting emotions arose in me, and it took me a moment to realize that they were not my own, but his. I was brought forward to the first mission aboard the Enterprise, and the destruction that branched from that. I witnessed the planet Vulcan crumbling in upon itself, and my tears sprang forth. Tears that perhaps Spock wanted to cry, but did not. Tears for his people, his culture, and his mother. I could feel his free arm wrap around mine, giving a reassuring squeeze. As time progressed, I could feel his mutual respect and admiration for Captain Kirk, and the friendship that they were building.

His months at the academy as a professor, and the first semester of last year. The students did not engage themselves, thus leaving the feeling of disappointment and bitterness. Then, he showed me when he first saw me. The last semester of last year. I was the first human to really engage in the class, asking questions and answering his own intelligently. Respect formed slowly, and an eventual protectiveness. Around the time that Robertson and I had split it off, leaving me in tears during class one day, something resembling fury resided in him for the one that had done this to his star student. I was taken aback at how strongly he had felt about me. Throughout the course of the end of that quarter, and the whole of the last quarter, his feelings strengthened, leading up to finals day. After the finals, his nearly uncontainable fury at Robertson overwhelmed me, making me shudder involuntarily.

I was taken to a board meeting just before graduation day, and various Captains and their First Officers discussed which new graduates they wished to recruit. Spock was given a choice for a new assistant, and three far more qualified graduates popped up along with myself. Without so much as batting an eye, he had selected me. His confidence and pride in me made me want to cry again, knowing that I didn't deserve half of it. I got a brief feeling that we would talk about that later.

Flashing forward to Nibiru, and when he was stuck in the volcano. He knew that he was going to die, and for a moment, the feeling of loss, regret, and sadness overwhelmed me so intensely that I once again clung to Spock. His arm rubbed up and down my back in comfort, my consciousness only barely realizing that I was now lying down.

In the conference room, he had just received notification that I was the one hailing his comm when it was shattered to a million pieces right in front of him. When we had met again in the shuttle, and I had broken down and cried, hugging him, I only just now knew how badly he had wished to return the gesture, to press his lips to my hair. A wish he denied himself on the belief that I did not want him like that. His confusion when I had left the bridge unexplained. Following me out, and finding my true feelings. The relief and relaxation that washed over me was enough to cause me to release all the tension in my shoulders. The joy at finally being able to hold me in his arms, without risk of offending me. I almost snorted. As if it ever would have offended me. When we reached Qo'noS, he reiterated through the meld all that he had said in the shuttle, the denial of his feelings for the sake of not breaking apart.

When Carol and I had gone down to the planetoid. The fear of losing me in the torpedo's explosion, his own anger at not being able to help in any way. Again when Carol and I had been beamed to the enemy ship. Not knowing where I was, if I was ok, or if I was in grave danger. Seeing the Captain in Khan's hands was bad enough, but when he had seen me behind him, my eyes red and puffy from denying tears, his anger was provoked. After I had been beamed back onto the Enterprise, relief spread through me a marginal amount, only to be replaced with more fear and anger as he saw me enter the bridge with a brace. My wrist throbbed in memory, and his hand was on it in an instant, rubbing small circles into it.

I remembered my own frustration and desperation with the failing power to my station, and my final attempts to help Sulu keep the ship right. When I had been pitched out of my chair, I felt his confusion and slight panic at myself being insecure, sitting next to his chair. The moment I had been placed into the captain's chair, his arms wrapped securely around me, I felt both his my own resignation to death, and our mutual contentment in being in each other's arms at that moment.

I felt such intense sorrow, grief and anguish wash through me that I thought my heart would explode. My brain was on fire, trying to comprehend the depths of the emotions swirling around me. Kirk lay motionless in front of my eyes, my own sobs echoing in the background. The grief I felt was overwhelmed by fury burning hotter than any volcano.

The fight between Khan and himself was brief. Panic surged through me as I recalled my own surprise at the dire position Spock was in when I arrived. Pure fear coursed through me when Spock saw me, phaser in hand. Fear that I would be hurt by the madman, or worse, killed.

I was pulled out of the ocean of emotions to relatively simple ones. We were sitting in the med bay, each of us being attended to. The lift began, and my cheeks flushed red. When he kissed me, one of the strongest waves of emotion rolled through me. At first, I didn't understand it, it was so complex. But after a split second, I realized what it truly was.

Love.

My heart began to swell, pure happiness and joy overwhelming even myself at this realization. He really did love me, just as much as I loved him. I wrapped my arms around him, drawing him tighter, and kissed him with a passion. It took me a moment to realize that the meld had been broken, and that we were now just laying in my bed, my own legs tangled around his as my arms held him as close as I could and my lips captured his. His hands made their way to my face, cradling it as my own buried themselves in his hair. Silky-smooth, I enjoyed stroking it even after we parted.

When the heat of the moment had passed, I hastily untangled my legs from his, but remained huddled into his chest. His warm breath on the top of my head was most comforting, and though traces of the emotion from the meld still remained, my mind was quieting once again.

"Did you find the meld useful?" he murmured, his voice lower than usual.

I nodded. "Yes."

"If anything was too strong, I apologize." He said, "Emotions are part of the meld, though I tried to keep my own contained for your sake."

"It was fine, Spock." I said, happy to be able to call him such without any awkward feeling. "It really did give me insight to the way you operate, even without showing your emotions for everyone to see. That's something I envy of you, actually."

"Continue." he said, leaning back a small amount to see my face better.

"Well, it's just that I've always 'worn my heart on my sleeve' so to speak. I've always been very vocal and expressive of what I'm feeling." I paused, "I get embarrassed because of how much I show them to everyone, even those I don't want to. I just wish at times that I could just be like you."

"Do not be ashamed." he said, "The open expression of emotion is one thing that all humans share. Just because you feel you have an inability to mask them does not make you weak. I believe it makes you stronger. You obviously are not afraid of showing what you think. As for myself, even vocal expression of feeling is entirely new for me. The physical affection that I show is such foreign territory, I can foresee myself becoming quite lost."

"Good thing you've got me." I teased, poking his nose. "I can show ya what it's all about."

"A point that I am relying heavily upon." he said.

For the longest while, there was only silence, mixed with our breathing. I was almost scared to do anything, scared to ruin this perfect moment that had been my desire for what felt like the longest time. Even before I really fell for him, I always had an attraction to the science officer. Whether it was for his intelligence, or his equally impressive physique, I wasn't sure. It didn't really matter to me now. I had both.

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I hope you all enjoyed this! Im terribly sorry, but I have hit a final stance of writer's block that i just cannot get around! If you have any ideas, please feel free to PM me with them, but for now i'm marking this story as completed. My deepest, sincerest apologies for the long wait and the dissapointing ending... I really love you all!