Her day started off like every other day now. Dull. She had a dull ache from the constant missing. Her days were dull, even her coffee was dull. She realizes she has no one to blame but herself for this new life she has created in DC. That doesn't make the pain go away though.

Sure, she likes her job well enough. Agent Beckett has learned, she has grown, and is a remarkable agent for the AG. Yet, it is not the same. It's just… dull.

Castle. That infuriating, beautiful man was anything but dull. Just the thought of him brought a little smile to her face, until she remembered that infuriating, beautiful man was no longer hers. It has been a little over 4 months since the fateful proposal on the swing set. She could hear, practically feel, the desperation and need coming off of him when he began to talk.

At first, she thought he was breaking up with her. His words not making sense, other than the subtext she could plainly read which said, "I can't do this with you anymore. You are too much work. I give up." With every second that passed, her heart broke a little bit more. She didn't want this. She wanted more, because she knew he was worth it. They were worth it.

Then, he proposed. What the hell was he thinking?! They weren't ready for this. She just flew to DC without telling him. If that isn't telling then she doesn't know what else is.

She tried to explain.

"Castle. No… we can't …do this now. It isn't… God Castle…" Beckett said as she put her head in her hands. Silent tears fall down her face as she realizes that maybe if he had broken up with her it wouldn't hurt this bad. She always did the hurting.

"Kate. You said you wanted to know where we are going. What we are. I'm giving this to you! Marry me, Kate. We can figure out the rest later."

"This isn't right, Castle. Please…" she whispered.

Just when she thought he hadn't heard her, he stands up. She finally looks up into his dark, blue eyes. She is shocked by what she sees there, or rather what she doesn't. The love she has grown so accustomed to seeing was replaced with hurt, and finality that is sure to hurt.

"Fine Detective, or should I say Agent Beckett. Fine. You've promised me always before. I believed you and I hoped that one day we would have it. I see now that you will always put you before me. I can't… I'm done. Enjoy DC."

With that, he walked away.

A week later, she was packed up and moving to DC. She said goodbye to her Dad, who took it better than she thought. He was supportive and she may have detected a little pride in his smile when she told him what she would now be doing. He was a great father and she needed that support from someone. Even if she knew he was secretly concerned for her broken heart.

Her co-workers, her friends, weren't nearly as excited. Espo nodded his head at her, with a brief half smile, as she walked out of the 12th for the last time. Ryan, the sweet guy that he is, gave her a hug. He told her to keep in touch and to remember she always had a home here. She could tell he meant it, but that he was angry with her too.

Lanie. Lanie was pissed. Not so much that Kate was leaving, but why she was leaving. She was leaving New York because her relationship with Castle imploded, and her unwillingness to fight for him. She was running away because that is what she is good at, right? Lanie managed to voice all of her darkest concerns in about 10 minutes. To say she stormed out of there, with a friendship more than likely ruined, is an understatement.

Missing her friends, her dad, Castle, was a constant thing. As she looked at her watch, she realized she was going to be late if she didn't leave for work soon. It was a daily struggle to get herself in to work on time these days. Kate didn't want to stop to analyze why.

After shrugging on her jacket, grabbing her badge and gun, she moved towards the door. Her phone began to ring, and she pulled it from her front pocket.

"Beckett." (It was still difficult to say the "Agent" before her name.)

"Hi Detective Beckett. This is Sandy from Mount Sinai. I'm calling about a Richard Castle."

Her heart starts beating in double time. She can barely breathe. No, this is not how the story goes. He is supposed to be safe now.

"Mr. Castle was shot earlier in the evening…"

To Be Continued