2 years. Wow. And now I'm back, amazing, right? Sorry about that, I have no excuses...

FLUFF WARNING:: REALLY FLUFFY

Read & review! :P

On the walk home I think about everything that's happened, everything from my past, everything from this Kyle's future, and I remember something.

I remember everything.

I remember how it all began.

It started in sixth grade… I think. That was the first time I noticed it at least.

It was the 15th of February, the day after Valentine's Day. I found Cartman crying behind the school gymnasium, holding a card tightly in his chubby hands. I recognised the card as the one he'd been waving in everybody's faces all day yesterday, the one he'd gotten from a secret admirer.

'Dude.' I said, not trying to sound judgement or condescending like anyone else would, just letting him know I was there. Before even knowing what happened I took pity on him, as usual. I could never stand seeing anyone cry, but I think it hurt especially bad when it came to him.

'It was a joke.' He sobbed out, looking up at me with flushed cheeks and teary eyes. 'It was all one big prank. Go ahead, laugh! I deserve it, I deserve it for ever thinking someone could like this.' He motioned down at his boy.

'Come on, that's not true and you know it, there's someone out there for everyone.' I said soothingly, kneeling down in front of him. Back then, it never even crossed my mind that that someone could be me.

'It is true! No one wants me! I heard the girls talking, the card was a fake and they all think I'm an ugly bastard.' He announced, smacking his fist into the pavement. I rubbed his forearm in a comforting manner, the action felt awkward and foreign, but I couldn't just sit there and watch him break like that. I'm not made of stone, and not even a selfish pig like Cartman deserved to look and feel so hopeless.

'Well, maybe the girl for you just doesn't go to this school, or maybe she does but just doesn't realise she likes you yet. We're only in sixth grade, people change. Feelings change.' I looked him in the eye as I said this, and something inside of me ached. I wanted to do something in that moment, I heard a truth in my own words, but I didn't understand what it was I was feeling for him until I felt it again, years later.

We never mentioned that encounter to anyone, just went on with our lives. Cartman's teasing become more half-hearted, and I noticed myself becoming colder towards the girls in our year level. This only lasted until graduation. Then middle school started.

During middle school, and more importantly, after Kenny died, our group began drifting apart. We didn't even try to replace our friend like we did last time this happened, just accepted it. Considering it happened not long after we left elementary school, we took it as a sign that things were changing. Stan joined our middle school's football team, I joined the math club (lame, I know), and Cartman did whatever it was he did in those years. As we saw less and less of each other I realised I missed him, and whenever our eyes met in the hall that aching feeling would return. I still didn't know what I was feeling or what I wanted from him, but I had an idea, and that idea really scared me.

It was around this time that I started coming to terms with my sexuality. Ike was the first one I came out to, and he didn't seem all that surprised. Stan was next, since we still rode the bus together and hung out on weekends. And then finally the rest of the school. My parents didn't find out until I was in high school, and that's only because I had to tell them.

Stan recommended that I join the schools gay-straight alliance, something I was very apprehensive about. I eventually agreed when he offered to join with me, and I'm glad he did, considering the only other person I knew there was Pip, the annoying British kid who Damien had been kind enough to resurrect. I didn't end up finding out they were a couple until I was in my twenties when Cartman and I received an invitation to their wedding in the netherworld. It was an event neither of us had the balls to attend.

In our final year of middle school Cartman, who I'd barely spoken to since sixth grade, finally took the plunge and join our alliance. During the meetings he remained uncharacteristically quiet, but he attended them all and never caused trouble, so we just accepted it. Even though I wanted to there was nothing I could have said to him, after all it's not like we were friends anymore, I was just happy to be back in his company. So happy. Almost giddy, in fact. At this point I still hadn't fully recognised my feelings for Cartman, but I couldn't deny that there was something that I felt for him. I spoke to Stan about this and, after giving me the most horrified and disgusted look he could manage, told me it was probably just a crush. I didn't agree with him, but I couldn't deny it either.

Once we got into high school things really began to fall into place. Cartman came out during lunch one day, it just kind of happened, with no warning and no trigger. He, out of nowhere, stood up from our table (we were sitting with a few friends we'd shared since near the end of middle school) and screeched: 'Fine! I'm gay, alright?! You fags happy?! You flaming homos proud of yourself?! I don't want this, but your plan worked! You ass-fuckers made me one of you!' After his outburst he stormed off, not speaking a word to any of us for the rest of the week. We all thought he'd finally snapped.

Monday morning of the following week I found him waiting for me, leaning against my locker with his hands in his pockets. He nodded at me as I approached. 'Sup?' He asked casually.

'Uh, sup.' I replied, giving him a suspicious look. 'Do you need something?'

'No, no,' he replied, looking around, apparently trying to act nonchalant, 'just chilling, you know? Just hanging out.'

'At my locker?' I raised an eyebrow.

'Oh, this is your locker?' He asked, feigning surprise. 'I had no idea.'

'What do you want, fatass?' Both of our eyes widened at my use of the childhood nickname. It was something neither of us had heard for years, and yet saying it was still instinctual when he was around.

'Well, Kyle, if you must know I was hoping to catch up with an old friend.'

'A friend.' I repeated, not sure how accurate of a descriptor that was.

'Yes, Kyle, we were friends, remember?' He asked, pushing himself off of the locker and standing in front of me. 'I just wanted to ask how you were going, but since you're going to be such a Downer Dorace, I won't even bother.' He began to walk past me.

'Wait.' I said, grabbing his arm. I wasn't sure what I was hoping to gain from this, but I knew I didn't want him to leave yet. 'I'm okay. How are you?' He backtracked so that he was standing in front of me again, smiling.

'I'm good Dorace, thank you.'

This became a regular part of our routine, every morning he would meet me at my locker and we would make small talk until the first bell, this lasted until the wake of our first high school dance. Cartman didn't ask me out in person, I think he thought he had too much pride for that, instead he gave me a note. After one of our morning conversations he just handed it to me, telling me to read it whenever, before rushing off faster then I think I'd ever seen him move. I agreed to go with him, of course, and it was the best decision I ever made. That night at the dance I realised how well we fit together, and I knew we were going to last.

Within weeks of the dance I even told my parents about us. They weren't happy about it, but it had nothing to do with the gay thing. As expected they didn't approve of my relationship with Cartman, and after all that he'd done I can't say I blamed them, but I was too smitten to care. Ike had my back and constantly defended my relationship to our parents, even if he himself didn't agree with it.

During my reminiscing I realised something that made me quite sad: Even though we have our problems, and even though we might not last, I don't regret our fifteen years together(that's right, we've lasted fifteen years). He showed me love, hate, pain, fear, lust, anger, and, most importantly, he gave me a son named Kenny.

I can't believe I forgot about all these times with him. I've been so blind sited by the stress of building a home and raising a family that I forgot why I wanted those things in the first place. We overcame so much together, and I was seriously thinking of throwing it all away over money? I shake my head. I need to get home. My real home. I need to see my husband and tell him I love him, and I need to tell my son he was right.