Chapter Three:

"That outfit unexpectedly suits you." came a cool voice behind her. It was moments after Orihime had finished pulling on the white cloths she had been supplied with.

"EEK!" she shrieked in surprise. The auburn haired girl whirled around. She saw her kidnapper standing impassively at the door.

"When did you come in?!" She asked, pushing her auburn hair out of her face.

"Just this moment." Ulquiorra stated impassively "Stop fussing over these things. It's annoying."

There was a pause in which neither said anything. Ulquiorra glanced up and down her form with calculating green eyes. She felt rather awkward under his gaze. "So..." said Orihime in a questioning voice.

"Your outfit requires tailoring." he said after a moment.

She blinked. "Eh?"

"Your outfit. It seems that the judgments I made regarding your size were mostly correct. However, it is clear I miscalculated in the area of your chest."

Orihime glanced down with a blush. "Huh," she stated in surprise. "It doesn't feel any different from what I usually wear?"

There was a pause in which Ulquiorra and Orihime looked at one another. "At any rate." said the Pale Faced Espada after a moment "I have tasked with ensuring your health and safety. I will be constructing appropriate facilities within this room. Once that is done I will be able to monitor the situation from here."

"Wait, what situation?" asked Orihime in surprise.

"Your friends assault upon Los Noches.' said Ulquiorra 'The Northern Fortress has fallen. Though it unlikely they will get this far.'

"What!" she cried in surprise "Why didn't you tell me that before!?"

"I did not think it was important," he replied, before glancing back. "bring it in."

The door opened, and a large cart, filled with boxes arrived by a massive tan-skinned man. "Oi, Ulquiorra." he complained "Why do I always have to push these things?"

"Because moving heavy objects is your primary duty, besides combat, Yammy." stated Ulquiorra, before glancing over to Orihime who was looking at Yammy.

"Hey... I remember you!" she cried despite herself "You're that Espada who Chad..." She trailed off as memories struck her.

It was like a nightmare. The two Arranger were so powerful. Between them Orihime had never felt so much spiritual pressure in one place. She couldn't understand how Chad could stand up in front of them, but she knew he was outmatched.

"Orihime heal Tatsuki and get out of here." said Chad in a low voice as the one called Yammy approached him nonchalantly.

"What, you think that you can take me, you miserable human!?" said Yammy scornfully "What bullshit! " He raised his fist and Chad prepared to meet his attack.

Orihime set to work healing Tatsuki with her fairies, but she could not help but fear for Chad. She had seen his face, he had known that he couldn't possibly win. He was just trying to buy time for her and Tatsuki to esc...

Chad blocked Yammy's strike with his unarmored fist. Bringing back his arm he smashed his gauntlet into the Arrancar's gut. Yammy reeled clutching his stomach in pain.

"You shouldn't make assumptions about people based on their race." said Chad with as close to a glower at he could get. "It's not polite." With those words, he attacked Yammy again. He struck him with a blow that knocked him back into a tree, and the huge Arrancar fell to the ground.

Chad landed on his chest hard.

"How..." began Yammy in pain "How are you so powerful...?

Chad stood triumphantly "Because I fight with the power of friendship!"

"Bullcrap!" yelled Yammy "Also, friendship doesn't kill people. Fists kill people. Friendship just makes it easier to stab the people you have it within the back!"

"I don't recall the human saying anything of the sort." mused Ulquiorra

"Creative license silly," said Orihime with a shrug. "I'm trying to tell a story here."

"It's amazing what Chad did," she said after a moment of silence. "Even though that guy was so much larger and more powerful than him, he-"

She was cut off as Chad was knocked out by a single karate chop to the head from Ulquiorra as he flash stepped behind him. Ulquiorra then turned to face her. As he approaching Orihime, she stood transfixed by his piercing green gaze.

"Do not concern yourself with friendship, woman." Ulquiorra said in a deep voice as he approached her, drawing his blade. "It cannot help you."

"Leave Tatsuki alone!" said Orihime angrily. "I won't let you hurt her!" But even as she spoke a hand grasped her shoulder and Ulquiorra leaned in closely. She trembled at the intensity of his gaze.

"You are in no position to deny me anything." was Ulquiorra's response, and his gaze became predatory, hungry even. "But you need not concern yourself. I am not here for the on called Tatsuki. I'm here for you."

"I said no such thing." Ulquiorra said, cutting her off mid-sentence. "And my kidnapping of you happened later on."

"Yeah!" said Yammy. "And I was beating the hell out of that human before he got a lucky shot in!"

"I know that you didn't kidnap me then, silly." explained Orihime "I needed to make things seem dramatic. For when we get to Ichigo's heroic rescue of the Princess. From the dark misunderstood knight who secretly just wants to be loved."

Ulquiorra stared at her for a moment. "...You are an idiot." he said after a moment. "What actually happened was this..."

Ulquiorra observed the ensuing battle between Yammy and the human with calculating eyes. They seemed equally matched. Though the human seemed to have gained a slight advantage thanks to his composure.

"You miserable worm!" yelled Yammy in an uncontrolled rage as he started smashing at the human's defenses.

The human was driven back for a few moments. Then he spotted a gap in Yammy's defenses and gave him a vicious uppercut to the chin. Tammy was thrown upward which sent him flying backward into a tree. The tree broke beneath the force of the impact.

Ulquiorra realized a direct intervention was necessary to avoid casualties. So he flash stepped behind the human and stabbed him in the back with his hand.

"No! Chad!" screamed the woman in a voice which he felt absolutely nothing for. He then moved forward and readied his sword, wondering whether or not he should kill her, or take her hostage.

Doubtless killing her would deny the Soul Reapers a valuable source of healing. However, if he took her hostage he might be able to use her as bait for his target. Either way, she meant nothing to him in any way shape or form. She might be considered beautiful by human standards. However, that would not affect his judgment.

He decided that he would kill her. A cold wind blew through her auburn hair, sending it flying into the wind as she stepped away in fear. Doubtless, she was looking for some way to escape her imminent death.

If she did survive this, she would probably end up completely delusional-

"Ulquiorra your spending too much time on unimportant details." said Orihime reproachfully "If you're going to tell a story you have to focus on the important parts. Once you say something you shouldn't repeat it." She paused and looked up, pinching her chin thoughtfully. "Unless of course, you're trying to establish that someone is focusing on one aspect of the scene."

There was a pause in which they looked at one another in silence.

"...Can I try telling the rest?" asked Yammy after a moment.

"Sure!" said Orihime.

"No," said Ulquiorra, but Yammy had already started talking.

"All right, so there I was facing off against this human..."

With a single blow from his fist, Yammy smashed the miserable human in half, killing him and smashing off his arm. Ulquiorra moved over the chick with the orange hair, who had just finished healing her loser of a friend. Both of them were instantly overcome with lust for Ulquiorra and-

"No they weren't," said Ulquiorra.

"Yeah..." said Orihime "Tatsuki was unconscious, and I was terrified at the time. Also, Chad isn't dead."

"Artistic license bitch." said Yammy with a broad smile, causing Orihime to grumble, but fall silent. "Now where was I?"

"You were getting to the part where Ichigo Kurosaki appeared." said Ulquiorra quickly.

"Oh right, thanks."

Then an Orange haired freak dressed like a soul reaper showed up. He started waving around a giant black sword thingy. "I'm going to beat you up Yammy!" he yelled, but Yammy didn't bother answering.

Instead, Yammy looked over at Ulquiorra. "Hey Ulquiorra, you wanna handle this guy, or should I?"

"Certainly," said Ulquiorra, turning away from where the two women had started to pole dance. "He could never hope to comprehend the sheer raw power and sexual attraction which we possess.'

"Now hang on a sec!" said Orihime raising a hand. "Artistic license is one thing, but that's just out of character. Tatsuki and I would never do something like that!" She paused "Also where would we find the poles in the first place?"

"Shut up." said Yammy giving her a look "You're a fanservice character. The only reason your in this story is to be the chick whom the main character bangs at the end." He looked over to where Ulquiorra was sitting. Only to find that the fourth Espada was currently walking over to a wall.

"Ulquiorra, you okay?" asked Orihime.

"...Give me a moment," said Ulquiorra. He then smashed his head against the wall three times hard, leaving a large dent in the stonework. He hissed in pain and clutched his head as he moved back over. "All right then, the pain should distract me from any murderous thought I might have in the next few minutes."

So the Orange haired freak charges Ulquiorra and says "I'm going to kick your ass, cause your evil!" But Ulquiorra just dodged his attacks. Then he pulled out a double-barrelled shotgun and shot him in the face fifteen times.

"Good, evil," said Ulquiorra, spinning the gun round as the body fell to the ground with a thump. "I am the individual with the gun."

"Double-barrelled shotguns only carry two shots." said Ulquiorra "And I doubt they would be of any use against a Captain level shinigami. Also, you weren't conscious for any of the events you are describing."

"Army of Darkness for the win!" cheered Orihime, before thinking about what had just been said. "Though the person with the shotgun is supposed to be fighting the soul-eating monster."

"Actually Arrancar don't have to eat souls." Ulquiorra informed him "We can survive on normal food alone. Now can we speak of the real events-"

"But I wasn't done." said Yammy.

Then a purple haired lady in an orange and black outfit showed up and attacked Yammy head on. But every attack she made was deflected with ease.

Then Ulquiorra fired his shotgun into the air, and she turned to him ready for a fight. "Greetings she-bitch." said the Pale Faced Espada "Let us go."

And she rushed towards him trying to attack him. However, Ulquiorra turned around, put his shotgun over one shoulder. He head shotted her from fifty feet away, before reloading the gun.

"Now let's talk about getting us back to Los Noches." he said to the assembled group of cowering humans.

"That's enough!" said Ulquiorra standing up, his voice raised slightly. "You have completely derailed this factual narrative. It is now the sort of story which Grimmjow might like. I'm putting a stop to this right now."

"Oh come on Ulquiorra!" whined Yammy "I had this whole plan where we face off against an army of Nazi Quincy's.'

"No." said Ulquiorra, before glancing down to where Orihime was sitting. "You continue it from where Yammy started, and I will make corrections where necessary."

"Aw, but the Nazi Quincies sound like a great idea!" whined Orihime "Couldn't I just have Ichigo and Yoruichi survive. Then give me and Tatsuki a personality and continue from-"

"No." replied Ulquiorra. "That story is at an end."

"But what if..." she trailed off as she saw Ulquiorra's look.

"Start again from the point I have chosen, or I will." the 4th Espada said.

"...Fine," said Orihime in a disappointed voice. "okay so Ulquiorra had been just about to capture me when..."

Ichigo arrived, his Orange hair flowing in the wind as he landed and rushed at Ulquiorra. They clashed swords with him in a flurry of blows. Ulquiorra leaped back, weapon at the ready.

"So your the Arrancar, huh?" said Ichigo with heroic confidence. He glanced over to Orihime, who had just finished healing Tatsuki. "Orihime, are you okay."

"Yeah..." she said "Yeah I'm fine. I'm not sure about Chad though."

"Right," said Ichigo "You go make sure he is all right, I'll take care of this guy." He then turned his attention to Ulquiorra, who stood at the ready. "So, you got a name or what?"

"I am Ulquiorra Cifer." came the reply drawing his blade back and putting one hand before him. "I take it that you are Ichigo Kurosaki then."

"Yeah," said Ichigo putting his blade in front of him. "I'm him. How do you know who I am?"

"I make a point of knowing the names of my targets." replied Ulquiorra "It makes writing the reports far simple." And with that, he moved forward at such a speed that Ichigo barely had time to block his downward strike. The Arrancars foot lashed upwards a moment later. Kicking Ichigo in the face, he sending him flying back, though he recovered and landed one knee.

Ulquiorra rushed towards him. But Ichigo charged blue energy around his blade and hurled it towards him.

"GETSUGA TENSHO!"

A wave of shining blue energy shot towards Ulquiorra. However, the black-haired arrancar leaped over it and appeared directly over Ichigo. A green ball of energy appeared overhead. Orihime gasped as the explosion rocked the area, creating another crater.

A moment later Ulquiorra landed on his feet, unharmed and turned to face the resulting cloud of dirt. He then deflected an incoming wave of blue energy with his sword. Ichigo emerged from the smoke cloud. His Shinigami robes were charred and torn, and there were several minor wounds on his chest.

"...That attack was powerful, I'll admit." said Ichigo, smiling despite bleeding in several areas. "If I hadn't dodged it in time I would have been history. I haven't had this kind of challenge in some time."

"Nor are you likely to again, if that is the full extent of your strength." stated Ulquiorra without concern.

Ichigo cracked his neck. "You think this is the full extent of my strength..." he said his smirk widening as he put his cleaver in front of him. "Let me show you just what happens when I go all out."

The spirit energy in the surrounding area began to swirl around Ichigo as he summoned his power. Orihime found herself in awe of the power he was summoning.

"Ban-"

"Cero." said Ulquiorra sending a wave of green energy straight towards Ichigo. It smashed into him head-on. Ichigo was sent tumbling back, his sword falling from his grasp ten feet away from where he landed.

Ichigo pulled himself up and moved to grab his sword. But Ulquiorra appeared and kick it away, before readying another Cero.

"You cheap ass son of a bitch!" snarled Ichigo. "I wasn't ready!"

"I don't care." stated Ulquiorra. "Ce-"

And then he was hit in the side by a blur of brown and purple, shoving him away a long distance, before he was able to react. There was a flurry off blows with his attacker. Then he was kicked back. His sword landed straight up in the ground as he was thrown back to land on one knee

The blur came to a halt, to reveal...

"Yoruichi!" said Orihime in happy surprise as she saw the purple haired ninja. "You're here!"

"Sorry I'm late." said Yoruichi, glancing back with a smirk. "It took me a while to get here, but now-"

"Cero." said Ulquiorra as he stood. A beam of energy shooting forth from his fingers towards Yoruichi. But she leaped high into the air above just in time.

"Damn!" the Ninja said as she readied herself for an attack. "I'm losing my touch. I shouldn't have been-" She looked down to see that Ulquiorra was nowhere to be found. "Where did he go?!"

"Yoruichi look out!" yelled Orihime. She pointed to where Ulquiorra appeared. He had begun still charging the Cero from before.

Yoruichi turned around just in time to see him fire it, but Orihime knew she would not be able to dodge it at that range.

"Senten Kesshun! I reject!" cried Orihime, just as the beam connected. The green attack was far larger than any of the others. It completely obscured Yoruichi from view. It headed off towards the ground, where it exploded amongst the trees.

It cleared to reveal the orange shield, with Yoruichi behind it unscathed. Orihime breathed a sigh of relief. The shield shattered just as the purple haired woman disappeared from sight. She reappeared behind Ulquiorra.

"Shunko!" was the only thing Yoruichi said. Then she delivered an axe kick to Ulquiorra's shoulder. He was sent flying down to the ground as she pursued. She struck him in the face with one foot, before initiating a flurry of blows.

Finally, a powerful strike from Yoruichi sent him flying back. The brown-skinned woman chased him, throwing a huge amount of power into an attack.

And the Yammy leaped in front of the attack, blocking it head-on with his crossed arms. The resulting shockwave knocked Yammy back. But he had braced himself against the strike and did not lose his footing. He uncrossed his arms and cracked his neck. And then Yammy opened his mouth and fired a massive red Cero which she evaded with ease.

"Oh come on..." said Yoruichi in a mocking voice. "Are those slow attacks really the best you've got?" She jumped over the fist which constituted Yammy's response. Then pulled herself onto his massive shoulder. In a blur she kicked him in the head and sent him falling back to the ground. "Huh, I guess it was. Your a lot less dangerous than your friend was."

"What do you mean was?" asked Yammy with a smirk, as he stood. "Ulquiorra's fine."

"Alive I'll give you." stated Yoruichi dropping into a fighting stance. "But he's not going to be fighting with the beating I just gave-"

"Ahem." came a dignified voice. Yoruichi turned, widening her eyes. She saw a bruised, but otherwise unaffected Ulquiorra. Even the bruises seemed to be disappearing, however.

If Orihime did not know better, she would have thought he looked rather smug.

"...Regeneration," she said in surprise, her eyes widening. "I knew that hollows could do it, but I've never seen one do it so quickly."

"Unsurprising," said Ulquiorra, preparing his blade, "Soul Reapers from my observation know little and understand even less." And then he moved forward and slashed at her. She pulled back just in time, only for two massive arms to grab her legs from behind.

"Gotcha bitch!" said Yammy with a psychotic smile "Finish her Ulquiorra!"

"Gladly." stated the smaller Arrancar, moving forward, his blade poised to stab at her heart.

And then one of Yammy's arms was abruptly cut off, and Yoruichi's legs were freed. She used them to kick off the ground and plant her feet in Yammy's face while dodging Ulquiorra's attack.

Yammy's grip on her arm faltered and she leaped away to stand by her rescuer. "Thanks, Ichigo."

Ichigo smirked. "Hey, I saw an opportunity to attack and I took it." He turned to face Ulquiorra, expecting an attack. Yet to his surprise, the pale-faced Espada was standing directly in front of Yammy.

"Are you all right?" asked the smaller arrancar.

Yammy groaned in pain, clutching his stump of an arm. "Yeah..." he said as he stood. "Let's butcher these guys."

"No." said Ulquiorra, opening what appeared to be a hole in space. "This situation has grown beyond what is reasonable to continue. We have found enough information for our report, and we will deliver it."

"But-" began Yammy.

"Every moment we delay the Soul Reapers may arrive." Ulquiorra cut him off. "Defeating these two is within our means, but it will take time we don't have. Grab your arm and leave, I will cover your retreat and follow shortly."

Yammy grumbled, but stood and walked through the whole. Ulquiorra barred any attempt to pursue him.

"Running away are we?" asked Yoruichi "You didn't strike me as the sort."

"I am not running away." stated Ulquiorra "I am pulling out after achieving all of my mission objectives. I would think a former Captain of the Stealth force would understand such an action."

Yoruichi's eyes widened in surprise before she moved forward in an attack. But even as she did he leaped through into the darkness and beyond as the portal closed.

"Damn..." she cursed.

Then half a dozen Soul Reapers leaped down all around them.

Their leader, white-haired Soul Reaper clad in Captain's garb moved over to Ichigo. "I am Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya of Squad 10. I am here to assist against the Arrancar." he paused. "Where are they?"

Ichigo stared at him disbelief. "Seriously? Were you waiting to make your entrance? Or are you just that incompetent?"

"Don't give me lip, Substitute," said Hitsugaya in annoyance. "We had to pass all the way through the Donga Precipice world to get here, and you have no idea what kind of procedure-"

"I do." volunteered Yoruichi "And I gotta agree with Ichigo on this. You should have been sent here a week ago, just in case."

"And who are you?" asked Toshiro in annoyance.

"Shihoun Yoruichi, former Captain of the Stealth Force and-"

"God this is getting boring!" said Yammy standing up "The fight is over, I'm outta here." He walked out the door. Orihime turned back to Ulquiorra. The 4th Espada had been writing something down on a sketchbook. He looked up to meet her gaze, and Orihime shifted.

"Uh..." she began "So I noticed that you did not interrupt me at all." she said.

"I found your assessment of the battle to be quite accurate." he replied, "In any case, I have work to do." He stood and moved over to the cart. "I need to set up a computer system so that I can analyze data on the attackers."

"Why? Are you responsible for monitoring castle security or something?"

"No, that would be Aureniero's primary duty." said Ulquiorra, opening one of the boxes and taking out several parts. "Mine is watching you, to ensure you don't escape."

"Oh right." said Orihime, remembering that she was, in fact, a prisoner in a hostile fortress. "So why do you need the computers."

"I don't trust Aureniero." was his blunt reply.

Authors Note:

Well, that's chapter three. It's funny in a way, I had planned to write in a few flashbacks to show Chad holding his own against Yammy. It kind of spiraled.

I'll get back to the North Fortress next chapter, with any luck. For now please review, and I hope you enjoyed it.