Jeeze guys I'm sorry. My laptops keep dying because they're all shitty ass laptops and I'm poor so can't manage to replace said dead laptop with another shitty ass laptop until god knows when. It's frustrating because I love writing and I love posting things on here even more so. It's good to know I can give people a laugh at times. Again, I'm so sorry. Here's the final part and epic conclusion to the prank war.

"Oh no, oh no, oh nonononono." Richard's panicked mantra echoed through his head as he sat and faced down something he never thought could be so terrifying.

Superman's glare was unexpectedly intense as his gaze roamed over the four of them. Nightwing knew that all of them were, possibly, in more trouble than ever before and that was saying something. The Batclan was well known for their penchant to cause trouble at any given time. Nightwing did his best to avoid eye contact with the enraged Kryptonian. He had never seen Clark this angry in his life. Now, not only were they in trouble with both Bruce and Alfred but also every single one of the members of the Justice League.

"We are so dead." He thought to himself.

"You've got nothing to say for yourselves?" Clark's voice was stern and steady as he managed to quell some of his rage.

Clark wanted, so badly, to knock their heads together but he refrained from doing so, knowing that Batman would want the satisfaction of doing that himself. The group turned their gaze to the floor guiltily.

"You could have killed him." Clark nearly snarled as he spoke.

"In my defense, that was supposed to happen during a routine patrol, not during a huge fight like that." Jason muttered.

Clark just sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"That car," He growled, "is a certifiable tank and you thought that rigging it would be okay? What is wrong with you?!"

"We really are sorry." Tim said quietly.

"Yeah? Well sorry isn't going to fix broken bones." Superman nearly screamed.

"I know." Richard muttered as he ran a gloved hand down his face.

"Great Hera what is wrong with you?!" Diana shouted as she marched into the meeting hall where Bruce's children were "being detained for their own protection".

"I just asked them that." Superman stated as he leveled Bruce's kids with a stern look.

When exactly did the four of you suffer brain damage? Because that is the only reason I can think of that would explain this level of stupidity!"

"I am not ten. I'm not going to cry."Jason thought to himself. Yes he did feel guilty, and listening to two of the league's most powerful members rub it in was not helping. The car was not supposed to do a lot of the things it did.

None of Bats' kids, affectionately dubbed "Children of The Knight", could lift their gaze from the floor. Richard and Barbara felt especially guilty and downright ashamed of themselves. As "responsible" adults they knew that the proper thing to have done was to support Bruce and not "pick sides in an epic battle the power of which the gods themselves will kneel to". Richard was always good at making up creative names and witty one-liners on the spot. This talent rarely helped him…..ever.

"Look," Barbara started. "we know we fu- messed up." She corrected herself as the Kryptonian narrowed his eyes. "It got out of hand…...very out of hand and in hindsight-"

"No, no, no. There will be no discussion of hindsight or what should've, or whatever! This is happening now. I don't care what led up to this and by this point I don't even care what you were thinking in those moments. But, I mean-...who looks at that...that car and thinks to themselves "Oh, I loved Christine, let's do this."?

"Oh." Richard gasped. "that was a good one." He said, pointing a finger at a glaring Superman. "Shutting up."

"How much do you four hate him?! Because this is a completely new level-"

Jason shot to his feet and shouted, well over Superman's volume. "I TOLD YOU IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" before slumping back down and digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. He sniffled. "It really was an accident." He whimpered, and the rest of the kids just wrapped an arm around the sniffling, "I'm definitely not crying", child.

Diana cast a confused and concerned look Clark's way and he just shrugged and shook his head. Both Diana and Clark took a moment, while Richard, Tim, and Barbara comforted Jason who just kept cursing and punching them.

"Definitely Bruce's kids."Diana thought to herself and groaned as she began to feel a headache creeping in.

Headaches and the Batclan were very close friends it would seem. Bruce was right, they were all monsters. They almost always left a trail of destruction and thoughts of "I wish I was dead" in their wake. Nobody could figure out how Bruce could handle it all. How was he not insane, or dead, by this point? The founding members held a new respect for Batman after this latest fiasco. Theft of Green Lantern rings, breaking into JL members' homes and leaving behind booby traps, posting league member's baby pictures onall ofthe monitors, and replacing family photos with things that were…..well, downright pornographic did not hold a candle to this incident. Even Wally was angry and it took a lot to get the red headed speedster to lose his temper.

He'd actually sucker punched Richard in the face. Looking back on everything, Dick was getting the brunt of it all, but it was him that reignited the flames of war. Nightwing was usually the cause, or at least the idea man, behind quite a few of these kinds of schemes. Of course everyone had noticed that from the moment Richard got involved things escalated pretty quickly. Admittedly, the family was used to dealing with a level of crazy that hardly anyone could wrap their heads around. That had to have some side affects. No, it obviously had side affects. This is what happened when any of Bruce's family got bored. Their pettiness always led to the worst of the worst out of them and this was a prime example. No matter how poised, calm, and collected they were the Batclan could be extremely petty and immature. Not that anyone would say that to Bruce's face because, despite popular opinion, he also fell under the same category. He was just scarier and sneakier. Every time someone even came close to confronting him he would give that look and suddenly it didn't matter. Either that or they'd sputter it out and Bruce would stare at them, unwaveringly, and say "prove it".

Diana sighed and took a seat, Clark chose to remain standing. He was more intimidating that way and intimidation and guilt tripping seemed to be working. So, who was Clark to argue?

"Barbara..." Diana started. "I am especially disappointed in you. I'd say that you are the most responsible one out of the four of you-"

"Hey!" Richard shouted, sounding insulted.

No one cared and Diana never faltered and simply talked over him. "-and that holds you to a higher standard." Barbara hung her head in shame as her face turned a beet red colour. Diana continued. "Because of your actions Bruce is seriously hurt. I know-" She raised a hand as they all opened their mouths to protest. "-that he's "had worse" but that doesn't matter. He's still hurt and it's still your fault. If Clark hadn't stepped in when he did Bruce would be dead. Do you understand that? He. Would. Be. Dead."

"Not just dead but closed casket funeral, dead." Clark added as he crossed his arms over his broad chest. In the blink of an eye he was towering over them and then leaned down to look them all in the eye. "He is my best friend, and you almost killed him!"

"I am so telling." Barbara thought to herself in a brief moment of glee at having heard that.

Clark practically fell into a chair and put his face in his hands. "I don't even know how to deal with you anymore."

"It's okay, we don't either." The words flew out of Richard's mouth before his brain told him that he was going to die if he said that. "…...Got quite tense in here." He shifted in his seat.

"Excuse me?" The words came from Diana. "Do you really think that now is the time to make jokes?"

"It's my defense mechanism!" Richard screamed shooting up from his seat.

With a hiss of the door as it slid open Wally zipped inside. His mask was off and his hair was a wild mess, sweat causing it to cling to his forehead and temples.

"He's loose!" He shouted.

"Lock everything down!" Clark yelled.

"Why?! They deserve it!"

"Wally!" Diana shouted.

"He's gonna get 'em anyway!"

"He should at least be calmer-" Clark stuttered.

"Calmer? You really think that's going to make a difference?"

"Oh it makes a difference!" Dick, Barbara, Jason, and Tim screamed.

"You don't know what he's capable of!" Barbara yelled, fear written plainly on her face.

The three heros slowly leveled her with a "look". The expression of sheepishness that claimed Barbara's face was intterupted by the sudden entrance of John, Green Lantern and Marine.

"I can't find him!" He screamed.

"Are you kidding me?!" Clark yelled back. He gave out a frustrated growl. "Just lock the dang doors!"

"I can't." Wally's voice was accompanied by the frantic 'click click click' of the button to the doors.

Superman sank down into a chair, lowering his head into his palm, and gave a long, loud sigh. "I really don't know why we even tried." He muttered.

The room fell into a tense silence. Everyone was frozen in a panicked state of 'oh god what do we do?'. Superman, on the other hand, just sat back in his chair and tipped his head toward the ceiling. In the midst of the others' anticipation of doom, Superman actually looked somewhat close to calm. He sighed again as he held up his hand and the movement attracted everyone's attention. Clark tucked his thumb into his palm indicating a countdown.

Five….

Four….

Three….

Two…

One. He pointed to the entrance just in time for a crutch to sail through the open doorway causing Richard, Barbara, Jason, and Tim to duck for cover.

"This time, I swear, this time I will kill you!" Bruce thundered.

Even as he limped his way into the room, wearing a white T-shirt and grey sweatpants, Bruce somehow managed to look absolutely terrifying. Clark didn't even flinch.

"The fuck up fairy has visited us again! I am going to kill you, grind you into hamburger, then I'm going to feed you to a cat, and then I'm going to feed that cat to the devil and knowing all of you he's probably going to get food poisioning!"

"You're just going to send us to hell right out of the gate?" Tim somehow seemed to look genuinely confused.

Who knows? Maybe he was. You could never tell with them.

"Turnabout's fair play." Bruce snarled.

"How about we all just take a deep breath-" Clark tried to step in but was cut off by Bruce.

"How about you stay out of this?"

"Bru-"

"They are my children and I will kill them if I want to and in whatever way suits me best." He growled and Clark just winced and sighed.

Bruce shifted his weight to lean more heavily on the remaining crutch right before Barbara approached, head ducked down, and handed him the other crutch that he had launched at them.

"I told you two to end it." He gestured to Jason and Tim. "End it does not mean that the, so called, "adults" get to reignite the flames of war. You have really upped your stupid game."

"I really-" Jason didn't get to finish.

"Shut up!"

"But-"

"Shut! Up!"

"Oh come-"

How Bruce managed to move as fast as he did with the injuries he had is one of the great mysteries of the universe.

"One more word out of you and I will hit you so hard google won't be able to find you." His voice was even and quiet. It was the tone of voice that told you that the speaker was an inch from losing their sanity.

"Back off him. You have your entire life to be a jerk Bruce why not take a day off." Richard interjected.

Everyone's jaws dropped. Why in the world Richard would choose to say something like that at a time like this would never be understood.

"What did I do to deserve this?" Bruce almost whimpered. "What did I do to deserve you?" The last word came out as a growl as he glared at Richard.

"Are we going to play that "grass is greener on the other side" game?" Richard fired back as he came to stand in front of Bruce.

"Maybe the grass is greener because you're not over there fucking it up!"

The rest of the league was very much out of their element and could only stare in a combination of dread and bewilderment.

"Okay. Fine. I get it we're all fuck ups."Richard glared.

"Right now? Yes." Batman fired back.

"Then why even put up with us?"

"I don't know!"

"Richard, shut up!" Barbara yelled. "Why do you always do this? We're in trouble and it's definitely because we deserve it. What is wrong with you?!"

That seemed to be that magic phrase of the day.

"Oh come on, Jason's fourteen!"

"A fourteen year old who rigged an armored car that nearly ran me over!"

Standing a few feet away, Clark looked as though he was ready to spring at any moment.

"You could at least go a little easier on him!"

"I am not going easy on him! I'm not going easy on any of you! For god's sake you duct taped his hands to a barbell, of which he had to chew through the tape, and you're telling me to go easy on him!?"

"He did what?" Wally whispered.

"That was different!"

"You threatened to kick his ass and frame him if he said anything!"

"It's still different!"

"How?!"

"Uhhhh." Barbara stepped in.

"CAN IT BARBARA!" The two shouted.

She settled for leveling Richard with a dissaproving glare in an attempt to tell him to knock it off. He was too far gone to notice. Superman still stood off to the side, having crept just a bit closer. Tim, Jason, and Barbara took stances similar to Clark's. This only made the rest of league even more tense.

"See, this is your problem. You always just scream instead of-"

'I wouldn't have to yell if, maybe, you'd actually listen-"

"Maybe if you said something worthwhile instead of insu-"

"Seems to be the only language you understand!"

"Or maybe it's just the only language you speak!"

"You do not get to scream at me about this! Right now, you don't have any right-"

"Apparently I never have "the right"!"

"Only reason for that is because moments like this are the only times you bring it up. Always pull out the same goddamn ammunition-"

"Because it's true!"

"This isn't up for disscussion right now!"

"Why can't we just try and be a family?! Maybe talk things out for once?!"

The league knew argument taking place in front of them, somehow, had nothing to do with the current situation at all.

"Talk things out!? Are you kidding me?! Half of the time you refuse to acknowledge our existence!"

"No, just yours."

"Hell, this is the first time you've paid us a visit in a year!"

"Because you're a fucking asshole!"

"And grass is smarter than you!"

"God, you are such an egotistical jerk! How anybody can stand you, hell even just tolerate your presence, is beyond me! How does Alfred do it!"

Superman's hands clenched into fists.

"You are treading into dangerous waters kid." Bruce snarled.

"Don't you call me a ch-"

"Then stop acting like one!"

"Stop switching this around!"

"Switching this around?! No, all this" He gestured around the room. "is because you had to go and be a moron again, and this time you had to go and drag everyone else down with you because you have no comprehension of the words common sense!"

"Why does it always boil down to me being stupid?"

"Because you are being stupid! Somehow, in some way, you're always being stupid!"

"Mother- fuck- damn- ugh!" Richard stuttered. "I swear there are times where I'm certain that you parents are glad they got shot!"

There was a collective "Oh!" from the entire room.

"And I'm sure your parents just jumped." Bruce responded, his entire body shaking with rage.

No one knew which of them struck first. All they knew was that one second they had both gone far beyond the lines of what is considered to be okay and the next they were on the floor with Richard's face bleeding from his hairline.

In the blink of an eye Superman had grabbed both of them by the collars of their clothes and held them at arms length.

"You sit down!" He shoved Richard, none too gently, into the chair he had previously been occupying. The rest of the batclan jumped in and kept him pinned there.

"You sit down!" Clark was a bit more gentle with Bruce but that was only because he was already hurt. "The two of you will not get up from those chairs until I say you can! Both of you are supposed to be adults." He pinched the bridge of his nose again as Bruce gave out a deep growl that would've sent a lion running.

"We told you it mattered." Tim squeaked.

"Shut up." Clark told him.

"Yes sir."

"Apologize." Clark pointed to Richard.

"What?"

"You started it. You struck first." He took a menacing step forward. "So apologize."

"No."

"Do. It." Superman's glare hardened. "Or you'll find that I can be quite creative too."

"Don't you threaten my children!"Bruce yelled as he shot to his feet….well, foot.

"Shut up!" Clark yelled as he shoved Bruce back down.

"I'm confused, are they mad at each other or not?" John whispered.

The rest of the league just shrugged, looking equally as confused.

"Richard," Clark gestured to him with hands flat together as if he was praying, maybe he was. "You restarted a "prank war" that Bruce had said to put a stop to, that somehow escalated into a life or death scenario, that resulted in a broken leg, cracked ribs, a dislocated shoulder, a concussion, and an unexplainable incident that took place on liveglobalnews, so just apologize to your father."

The words "your father" seemed to make them all uncomfortable and they just stared at Clark like he had grown two heads.

"International, see that's-"Clark cut Bruce off.

"Shut up." He pointed a finger at Bruce. "You will get your chance to speak, and I mean speak. I'm sick of this. Just no more shouting. Stop shouting at your kids Bruce. Just sit there and...meditate I don't know. Just calm down. Somebody go get some xanax or something I-just-just calm down."

"I hear the word xanax again and I will murder you in your sleep."

Clark just sighed.

"Apologize, and it had better sound like you mean it."Clark turned back to Richard.

Judging by the look on his face, Barbara, Jason, and Tim had had a talk of their own."

"Yeah, no, you're right." Richard deflated.

"So apologize."

"I can't."

"Excuse me?"

"Whoa, hold on there. I just-" He sighed and ran his hands across his face. "There is no possible way to apologize for that. I….god. I am sorry though."

A bit of tension in the room dissapated.

"Thank you. Now, how about we continue this in a much calmer fashion. Everybody in chairs, stays in chairs. I'm looking at you two." He said pointing at both Bruce and Richard.

"Bruce, you have the floor." Clark said as he moved to sit down himself but not before shooting Bruce a look.

Clark didn't so much as sit down as he did collapse. Bruce took a deep breath and rubbed his temples before he spoke.

"Okay," He started. "I'm going to go over the past two weeks in reverse order. The only words I want to hear out of you four will be either yes or no, am I understood?"

They all nodded.

"Am I understood?"

"Yes." They all said.

"Good." He tucked his hands under his chin as if he was praying.

Again, maybe he was. No one could tell. Although everyone was pretty much certain that Batman did not believe in god.

"Richard. Did I, in ninety-three degree weather saran wrap that broken down, rusted out, shit box that you call a car? Yes, yes I did. Barbara. Did I, in the afore mentioned weather, hang raw eggs from the ceiling of your apartment and turn off the A/C knowing full well your extremely negative feelings toward eggs? Yes, yes I did."

Clark was staring at Bruce,jaw dropped and brows creased in disbelief. Everybody else's hands flew over their mouths.

"Jason. Did I, despite my full awareness toward your OCD, take everything in your room and bolt it to the ceiling? Yes, yes I did."

Wally gave a choked off laugh and got a glare from Superman.

"Timothy. Did I take your entire Kinder Egg stash, despite the fact that you're not allowed to have candy in the first place, and replace them with raw eggs dipped in chocolate? Yes, yes I did. Did I do all of this in a single day? Yes, yes I did."

"This man is an evil genius." Wally whispered and also received a glare from Clark that definitely translated to "Do not encourage them".

"Now, here's where things get a little more interactive. Again, all I want to hear is yes or no." He took a deep breath. "Timothy. Did you, or did you not replace Jason's deoderant with cream cheese and as a result he was sent home from school?"

Oh, that's what had happened.

"Yes." Tim responded.

"Richard. Did you, or did you not, switch out Barbara's brrownie for her work lunch and replace it with a pot brownie?"

This time it was John who choked on a laugh.

"Yeeesss." Richard hung his head down, gaze fixed on the floor.

"Jason. Did you, or did you not, take low grade, pressure sensitive explosives and glue them to underside of the toilet seat in Timothy's bathroom?"

"What?!" Wally yelled.

"Shut up!" Clark yelled.

Bruce just ignored it.

"Yes." Jason responded, face reddening more and more as Bruce went through the list.

"Barbara. Did you, or did you not, put quick drying paint, in a wonderful rainbow pattern, on Richard's windshield wipers on a rainy day?"

"Yes." She bit her lip.

"Richard. Did you, or did you not, duct tape Jason's hands to a barbell and threaten him if he said anything, then leave him to chew his way out resulting in a chipped tooth?"

"Yeeaaah." He said through gritted teeth.

"Did you do this after I explicitly told them to end it."

"Very yes."

Bruce narrowed his eyes but continued on none the less.

"Jason. Did you, or did you not, alter the autocorrect on Timothy's phone so it would replace the word 'ok' with the phrase 'I love you'?

"Yes."

"Did the two of you, after said incident, engage in a very enthusiastic, we'll say, fight on the the school grounds?"

"Yes." They both answered.

"Timothy. Did you, or did you not put red food dye on Jason's toothbrush on a school night and scare the shit out of the whole household?"

"Red might hav-"

"Yes or no."

"Yes." Tim's face was mimicking that wonderful color.

This time it was Clark who nearly strangled himself to prevent any sound that wanted to come out.

"Jason. Did you, or did you not replace Timothy's orange juice with water that had a couple of packets of mac and cheese mix in it?"

Diana bit into her fist.

"Yes." Jason responded.

"And finally….." Bruce took another deep breath. "Timothy. Did you, or did you not steal and eat the remaining bluberries off of Jason's breakfast plate after being told not to touch them?"

"Yes." He responded quietly.

There was a tense pause, in which Clark, Diana, Wally, and John processed exactly what they had just heard.

"Does this put things into perspective for you?" Bruce asked. "Do you realize what you have just done?"

He reached up to brush some of the hair out of his face that had fallen while he was speaking.

Do you understand that you have, not only nearly killed me but aided in the escape of an international gang of supervillans OVER EIGHT BLUEBERRIES?!"

Clark stood and gently placed his hands over Bruce's shoulders.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

There was that favorite phrase again.

From Blueberries to near manslaughter to international crimes. Such was the life of Batman and his children.

"Clark said you're his best friend!" Barbabara shouted.

Well, there you go. Things got a bit serious there for a minute but I just rolled with it. Sorry if that kinda ruined it for you guys. Again please please please give a review, tell me your favorite part maybe just in this chapter or overall through the different parts, and shoot me some prompts. Love all y'all!