Disclaimer. All publicly recognizable characters, settings etc., are the property of their respective owners. The original characters, ideas and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. I only do this for fun.

The Light in My Darkness

A/N: This story is written as a collaboration by both Xo Bella Italiana oX and 20. If you have any questions or comments, post them in my reviews and I will answer them in my next Author's Note! We hope that you enjoy the story and look forward to hearing your thoughts. – B

Chapter 1:Changes
(Jasper's POV)

When I first woke up to this brutal existence known as the life of a vampire, the relentless succession of sensations and emotions threatened to pull me under its pitiless force. I felt an insistent, burning, raging inferno in my throat and an intense perception of anger and confusion. I was only guided by my instincts, which always told me to fight, to be the best, and to never lose.

And that's exactly what I did, even throughout the constant burning hunger and unremitting cycle of angry emotions that ceaselessly bubbled up inside of me. That anger was my greatest ally at this point in my existence and used it expertly, as the intension to flee never even crossed my mind. Any foe that I faced, I destroyed, though, it was not because I liked it or because I wanted to, but because I had to. It was them or me, and I had to fight to survive. I was a soldier, fighting for my right to live, to feed, and that was all that I knew, not even thinking to question it.

As time went on and my mind began to clear bit by bit, I found that I had an advantage that no one else seemed to have. It was baffling at first, never knowing if what I was feeling were truly my own emotions. I thought I was going crazy, but soon was able to differentiate between the two and that these sensations were truly what the others around me were feeling.

It wasn't long before I ascertained the realization that I could use this to my advantage and I immediately began to shape this gift, if that's what you want to call it, into something more, something lethal. I began training myself to predict my enemy's next movements, echoing them with one of my own.

It was during this training that I discovered that I could also manipulate those waves of emotions around me into anything I wanted, forming a powerful offensive weapon. Again, anger was my ally and feeding it into my opponent caused them to act hasty and make mistakes, rendering them defenseless against me. I could send so much pain to someone that they would collapse into themselves, screaming in agony and torment that they would pull their own limbs off in an attempt to get relief. With fear, I could resort someone to cowering in a corner, shaking in trepidation of me. They could feel so hopeless and disheartened, desperate for a way out.

It was this very gift of mine that caught the eye of my creator, Maria. Her eyes would spark with excitement every time I took down a player in the game and I was rewarded often. Blood and sex became my smorgasbord and I became stronger than ever.

But unfortunately, all of this had a downside. I had quickly became Maria's favorite, and this caused extreme amounts of jealousy and envy from the other soldiers within the ranks of the all-male populace, aside from Maria's two sisters, Nettie and Lucy. They would team up on me in an attempt to take me out, but they would never win, only serving to render me more appealing in Maria's eyes. Sure, she was a little put out that she had to keep replacing her ranks, but didn't have a problem finding and creating new recruits, and to even things out a bit, stared bringing in promising female soldiers.

Then, once my year was up, I was promoted to her second in command. It was then that I learned what the Southern Vampire Wars were really about and what had happened to all of those soldiers that had gone out hunting, only never to return. After all, culling the herd became one of my many responsibilities as Maria's second.

It wasn't long after my promotion that Maria and I became lovers. Any victory was a turn on for her and with my constant triumphs, she seemed to be always pulling me into her bed. She loved how I could use my gift during the throws of passion to send her spiraling into relentless orgasms as she scratched and bit while bathing in the blood of our prey. I loved every second of it and the vampire inside of me relished every encounter.

Everything improved once I was given these new remits. I used my gift constantly to keep the newborn vampires from fighting amongst themselves and compelled them to focus during their training, which I oversaw. Before long, we had the largest, most well-trained army in the South, winning any victory we sought after.

However, with all power, comes greed and Maria was no different. She always wanted more, and wouldn't stop until she got what she wanted. We began to branch out our territory and set our sights on larger cities, tromping down easily on our adversaries.

Maria's sisters didn't like how powerful of a duo we were becoming and began to fear for themselves. I could feel in their emotions that they were planning something as they began to turn on us. I immediately warned Maria of this and, together, we eradicated Nettie and Lucy with ease one night while they were on their way into the city of Monterrey to hunt. I was a ruthless motherfucker and had loved every second of it.

Shortly after the extermination of Maria's sisters, I had changed a newborn by the name of Peter. He didn't remember his last name after his transformation was complete, nor did I bother learning it before I changed him.

I was out on a solo hunt when I came across him trying to philander with a red head at a bar. He became my target and when he slipped around the back of the building for a smoke, I attacked. His blood was sweet and felt amazing as it ran down my throat, extinguishing the unremitting incessant fire.

I can't even begin to describe what happened after that when I was nearly done with my feed. There was just something about him that caused me to make a split second decision, injecting my venom into the wound under my teeth rather than finish him off as I did every time I nourished myself.

And yet, this time was different, as was Peter, himself. As a newborn though, he was the same as the rest of the soldiers, confused, angry and thirsty, but was one hell of a skilled fighter. He also seemed to be very intuitive and never seemed to be wrong. Maria and I were convinced that this was a gift, something very rare to possess in the supernatural world, but he would deny it and simply say that he just 'knows shit'.

Also, unlike the rest of the newborns, he wasn't intimidated by me. Sure, at first he kept his distance as he adjusted to his new life, but after about three months, he began to follow me around, driving me crazy. He was cynical, sarcastic and he challenged me. It drove me crazy, though he never seemed to act that way in the presence of the others. Maybe he knew how important it was to maintain that fear and respect that they had for me. I wasn't sure. I had no idea what was drawing him to me, as I didn't treat him any differently than any of the other newborn soldiers. I didn't know if it was his gift, or just who he was, but he kept coming back for more, no matter how many times I would snap and threaten him with dismemberment, starvation or just plain out doing away with him. Though, he always knew when to take a step back or when he was being too much.

As time went by, the fucker began to grow on me. I even caught myself genuinely smiling at some of his antics, even if I didn't respond or speak a word back to him in return, aside from the usual threats. I found that I started to like having him around and he was slowly breaking me out of my congealed shell. When his year mark was up, I had convinced Maria to allow me to keep him, promoting him to rank under me as my Captain, and let me tell you, we made one hell of a team on the battle field, though, he still could never best me in a fight.

Once there were two of us in charge of the ranks, Maria felt that it was a lot more feasible to expand our numbers and split our responsibilities. Together, we trained the newborns and took turns taking groups out to feed. Peter was put in charge of watching them any other time, though it wasn't a job he particularly keen on. He would wine and call it 'babysitting duty'.

Side by side, we governed Maria's army for multiple decades, becoming rather close as time continued on. However, it all came to an unexpected halt one evening when it was time for the two of us to cull out the herd once again.

Throughout the day, Peter's emotions were in turmoil and he ceaselessly tried to convince me that some of the newborns due for culling had potential and wanted to save them. I didn't understand why he was being so difficult and would only get further upset when I denied his proclamations.

That night, as we took each newborn aside one by one for their 'yearly review', as we called it, Peter's emotions were eccentric. He never liked this part of the job, and I could tell that it was tonight was really taking its toll on him. As we were getting towards the end, I tried to convey to him that I could handle the rest on my own if it was too much for him tonight, but he only shook his head and pushed forward.

As we made it to the last name on the list, calling forward a female by the name of Charlotte, Peter's emotions exploded. He was furious and protective, yet afraid. I turned to look at him in befuddlement, unsure of where this emotional cocktail had come from and what the cause was - that is, until a small female with bright blonde hair came into view. His emotions immediately did a one-eighty, expressing adoration, fondness, and a love that I didn't know existed for our kind pushed through as it flooded him.

I barely had time to process this new revelation as Peter shouted at the little female to run. She looked unsure for a moment, looking at him in alarm and longing, but after noticing me, instantly took off. I was about to give chase when Peter jumped in front of me in a crouch, truly challenging me for the first time since I'd known him.

It was then that I finally understood what was happening and why this young female warranted this type of reaction from him. They were mates, true soul mates. He had found his other half in that little female and he was going to do what he had to in order to ensure her survival, even if that meant challenging me.

And I couldn't blame him…

Finding one's soul mate was a rare thing for a vampire, and was a bond that was unbreakable by anything or anyone, even in death. Most vampires searched throughout their entire existences without finding their mates and when they did, would go to extremes to protect them, and at any length.

But it was also the one thing that Maria would not allow among her ranks. Any who were discovered were eradicated. The reason this was, was because when you put a mated pair together on a battle field, they became a liability, too engrossed with protecting each other than the victory that we sought after.

With all of this in mind, I could fully sympathize with Peter and his reaction. I felt as though my eyes were opened and I truly envied him for what they shared. It was because of this that I couldn't fight him or kill her, and I knew that if they stayed here, they were dead.

"Go," Was all I said.

He looked at me alarmed and confused for a moment before he had fully processed what I was telling him to do and stood up with a grateful expression on his face.

"Thank you, brother," he spoke, echoing his gratitude in his emotions as he took off after his mate. "I'll come back for you!" He yelled back as he disappeared in the distance.

To say that Maria was upset would be an understatement. She was outraged and ireful, sending out trackers to retrieve Peter and his mate, but to no avail. I was punished harshly, starved, beaten and dismembered, remaining that way for weeks. I accepted my punishment without regret, knowing in my hear that it was the right thing to do, as well as opening my eyes to everything that was in front of me for the first time.

Maria didn't love me. She loved what I could do for her. She loved her status as the most feared and powerful Warlord in the South and she loved the control that she had over others. I was her puppet and she was pulling the strings. It was a heart wrenching discovery and I was all alone to face it in a world of my own making; the thousands of lives I took mercilessly, the torture I inflicted, and being alone to face it.

As I lay here at the bottom of a dark ditch in pieces, slowly going insane, a whole new part of me began to take over. He spoke to me and kept my mind clear, away from the depressive, torturous state that threatened to swallow me whole. He was dark and blood thirsty, but he was my crutch throughout this dark and dank hell.

Finally, I was pulled out of my obscure realm and put back together. Maria only smirked down at me, saying that maybe I would think twice next time about not following orders and sent me off to hunt. It was the first time that I had blacked out, only to wake up in the center of a small town two days later with no recollection of how I got there. I was surrounded by corpses drained of their blood, as well as several piles of burning limbs, purple smoke rising towards the heavens.

These fights have taken their toll on me and that bitch doesn't care. All she cares about is winning. I couldn't take the horror and the pain anymore, but if I didn't fight, I would die, so I came up with an alter ego to get me through all the carnage. The Major was the one who didn't feel remorse he was the one who was uncaring, he was the survivor. After I let the Major take over, I was feared more than anyone. I was given a new name, The God of War. It was a well-deserved title and while I was the Major I loved it but when I was me I loathed it, but I embraced it.

He was called the Major because he was all strategy and instinct. He lived for war, you see before I woke up to this life I was a major in the civil war I may have been young, In fact I was the youngest major ever even without lying about my age. But the depression still took over.

I had a friend here, Peter, who is has since gone. I know what you're thinking but no he's not dead. I let him run away with the women he loved. You see it was my job to create and train newborns to fight in the Vampire wars. But the part I hated the most was that I also had to destroy them once their first year was up. Vampires in our first year are stronger and faster than older vampires which is why they make the perfect army. But once the year is done their strength and speed wane. So that's what we were doing that night we were destroying the once who have reached their mark. Peter and I were getting through it as quick as possible, until we reached the name of one of the females, Charlotte. The minuet he looked into her eyes I felt so much love pour from Peter and I knew that she was his mate and he had been hiding this fact and for good reason. Marie doesn't allow mated pairs in her army they are killed right away, because if you kill one the other will seek vengeance and she couldn't have that. Peter shouted for her to run and then faced me like he was ready to fight me if he had to. I told him to go, he begged me to come with him but I knew Maria would came after me and would kill them both, I didn't want that. He told me he would come back for me.

Maria was furious with their escape and ordered two of her best trackers to retrieve them. I was thankful when they came back empty handed, only fueling her rage. She punished me something awful, she starved me, dismembered me, and left me that way for months. I had never been so lost within myself. Most in my situation would have gone crazy, but I wouldn't allow that bitch the satisfaction of destroying my insides as she had my outside.

However, something else did happen to me while I was buried in my solitude. The Major had taken over, allowing me to hide in the depths of my mind and keep me sane. He took in the pain and the abandonment, the broken heartedness that I had felt from Maria's betrayal; she would never have done this to someone that she had truly loved.

By the time Maria had finally come for me, I was a mess and the Major was chomping at the bit to build up our strength. I allowed him to remain in control as we were reassembled while Maria stood tauntingly nearby, lecturing me on the meaning of 'loyalty'.

Maybe the bitch should take up a lesson on that, herself.

Once I was mobile, I burst from the confines of my prison and took off towards the nearest populated area with eyes as black as night and a grueling thirst driving me forward. That was the last thing that I remembered before my inner demon was freed for the first time.

I wasn't sure what happened after that. Only that I 'woke' several days later, surrounded by a massacre of corpses and fire as it burnt the small settlement around me to the ground. There were several piles of dismembered limbs sweltering as purple smoke rose towards the sky. It was the first time since my rebirth to this life that I had truly felt regret for something that I had done.

I had spotted Maria dancing around, laughing maniacally, her emotions reflecting giddiness and satisfaction. The fact that she felt that way amongst the carnage around us made me feel sick to my stomach, or as sick as a creature like me could feel. I had learned that the city I had demolished had belonged to another's territory, and the limbs that were currently burning were what was left of his army. I had single-handedly taken them out and I couldn't remember any of it.

Since learning of my inner demon, Maria had done her best to bring him out on occasion during battle. However, she was smart enough to stay far away from him during that time, as he viewed everyone as a threat, no matter which side that they fought on. I was rewarded every time I pleased her, though, to her annoyance, I would no longer take her into my bed. I could never view her the same way again. As a matter of fact, she was now someone that I penetratingly hated.

As time lapsed on, I felt myself spiraling into an intense depression. The Major was out more and more, trying to help me cope while he whipped the newborn soldiers into shape. I was feeling differently about how things were done here and the type of life that I lived and could barely sate my thirst without my prey's emotions overpowering me.

This all brings me to where I am at now, standing in my quarters with my hands clasped behind my back while I looked out over the compound. I felt a cocktail of emotions approaching, and I immediately knew who it was as they hesitantly entered my chambers.

"Major, sir?" Rink Lancaster, a good man and soldier called for me.

Without turning to look at him, I commanded him, "Speak."

I heard him take in a breath before he spoke, "Mistress Maria requests your presence in the barn."

I internally snorted at the word 'request' – as if Maria would ask for anything. More like demand.

"I'll be along," I responded to him, still staring off into the distance. "You're dismissed."

"Yes, sir." Rink said before slipping out of my quarters.

Sparing the outside one more glance, I sighed and adjusted my cowboy hat that I wore low over my eyes before making my way out of the old plantation house that Maria used in her compound before heading over towards the barn where the newborns bunked. Their constant emotional cocktail of thirst and anger continued to swirl with every step I took until I finally entered and their fear spiked at the sight of me. I let my special brand of emotions consistently flow from my gift as the silence echoed around me and they stood at attention, my eyes scanning the room for Maria.

"Up here, Major." Maria called from the loft.

I spared one last glance at the ranks, before speaking in a low voice. "As you were." I turned and made my way towards the narrow steps that led me up to the loft. However, I was by far not prepared for the sight that lay before me as I rounded the corner at the top of the stairs. It was by far the most stunningly beautiful, yet horrifying thing that I had ever seen in my long existence as a creature of the supernatural race.

A/N: And there you have it! Chapter 1 is up and posted! I hope you enjoyed it and I can't wait to see what everyone thinks! Any ideas on what Jasper is seeing? What will happen in the next chapter?! What did you think of this one and Jasper's story? Review!

If you have any questions or comments, post them in my reviews and I will answer them in my next Author's Note at the bottom of the chapter!

To see more, go to either mine or my Co Author's FF page: Xo Bella Italiana oX or 20

If you enjoyed this story so far, check out some of my other stories on my FanFiction page! Also, I am still accepting Twilight stories that involve Jasper/any female leads or Bella/selected male leads if anyone is looking for a Beta Reader. I will make exceptions on the characters depending on the plot. I am also accepting other story topics as well! PM me for details!
- Bellisma -
Xo Bella Italiana oX