Duties of a Best Friend
Jeyna One-Shot
Disclaimer: Really do we have to go through this? It's not even… you know what…fine… I OWN NOTHING!
"Reyna, you have a minute?"
"Don't you have a girlfriend to go to?" Reyna said coldly as she turned away from the face of the guy that she thought she had loved.
He left for nine months, just the night before she had decided that she had truly liked him, and came back with a Greek demigod girlfriend. Reyna had spent almost all her times at Camp Jupiter with Jason just to make sure that her people were safe from harm and she had thought that with all those times with him-
"I just want to talk." Jason began.
It took the two of them years but even then he never asked her out, he gave her so many hints but never went through with them. However, within nine months at the Greek camp, Jason was already turning into one of those Greek campers and asked out a girl despite the loss of his memory. To make matters worse, he was captivated by a Venu- Aphrodite child.
Reyna turned around; her two dogs were at her heel as if wanting for a command. "We talked at the Senate meeting; I don't think there's anything more to say between… "Reyna paused. She had been meaning to say 'us'. "-between the two camps. Everything is settled and the threat of Gaea is over."
They had defeated Gaea at such a cost too. Lives were lost and New Rome was nearly destroyed in the process. As for Octavian, he was still bitter, still pathetic because of the fact that their attack on Camp Half-Blood was all part of the sleeping goddess plan. She knew the auger meant no harm and want the best for the Romans, but at times, he gets slightly power-hungry that he forgets the whole point of the mission. Lives were lost at that battle and as soon as the seven came back with news of the war, the auger was shunned in a way. He had led the Roman's to a bloodshed and both side was brutally hurt which almost led to the victory of the giants.
"That's not what I'm trying to say." Jason looked warily at the two gold and silver dogs next to her. She knew what he was thinking. They've been praetor together for so long that Reyna could sense that Jason wanted to tell her what happened during his absence and apologize. However, she wasn't sure if he was willing to tell her that he loves her.
Reyna let out a sigh as she stood standing proud looking at the successes of New Rome from her window. She whistled for her dogs to go out before closing the door behind her, "Then tell me what you want to say." She said after a while.
She studied her co-praetor, his blond hair was slightly longer but it was cropped unevenly as if he didn't have time to get a haircut. He still stood proud with confident and she knew that he was secretly scared of failing just like her. That's why they had bonded; both of them depended on the other for comfort while others depended on them for safety. When Jason was taken away, Reyna had no choice but to face the burden alone while trying to make sure that Octavian doesn't gain as much support from his tricks. Then of course, Percy Jackson appeared the same guy who ruined her old home but at the same time released her from her curse. Likewise, those two were so similar it was uncanny, aside from the fact that Jason was much more… private within himself. Percy Jackson is loose; he acts on impulse and generally does it for the greater good. Jason on the other hand was all about the rules, he always placed his duty first, and he understood his purpose. That was the problem; Jason was always following the rule, which means no place for love… but that Greek love child showed him love.
Maybe it's because Reyna always manage to hide her feelings away that Jason gets so tired of her. She couldn't blame the Greek demigod, she blamed Juno actually. She blamed Venus for favoring her child over her… just because she's the daughter of Bellona.
Jason… Reyna shook her head, she had thought of his name so many times that it seem to be an everlasting echo in her head.
When she had asked Percy, he had rejected her so easily; she could only wish that Jason had done the same. She could only wish that Jason had remembered the girl waiting on him back at his real home.
"I want to talk about us," Jason emphasized.
Reyna shut him right away, "Stop, there's no us, you proved that by bringing back your Greek girlfriend." She couldn't help but said the word with distaste. She was still wary of the daughter of Aphrodite, she never trusted Venus ever since that talk she had with the love goddess. If she didn't trust the Roman aspect, Reyna doubt she would even trust the Greek aspect of the love goddess.
When Jason had left with his girlfriend onto the Argo, Reyna had given up hope of anything. Even when he looked at her with those longing eyes or when he had saved her from a death blow by a giant, she still diminish any hope of him ever returning to her.
"Lovely," Reyna scoffed. "You're a real charmer Jason, but unlike you I actually have responsibilities and a sense of duty to New Rome."
Reyna didn't understand, the guy had it all. The looks, the charm, the personality, the attitude, but he could never get it through his brain to decide. Maybe the ability to choose IS a curse.
Jason almost laughed and she almost slapped him for laughing at this situation. "Same old Reyna huh? Still putting duty before everything else."
"You're a Roman to the bone Jason, duties of a soldier to their home country have always been top priority." Reyna reminded him. Ever since he had returned, Jason had turned soft. Sure he still retained leader qualities that made him praetor in the first place, but Reyna could've sworn she saw the hesitation in Jason's eye when Piper was being held as a bargaining chip in the final battle.
At that moment she wondered if Jason would've done the same thing for her.
Shaking her head at those ridiculous thoughts Reyna turned back to her old co-praetor. "Maybe Juno sending me over to Camp Half-Blood was for the better."
Reyna pretended not to be hurt by his words as she kept a stony complexion.
"I've never been good with these…" Jason hesitated but Reyna knew what he meant. Despite the fact that they are not a couple, she knew that this superior warrior and leader was never good with expressing his feelings. Jason didn't meet her eyes.
"Emotions? Feelings? Actually being human for once?" Reyna pushed. Okay so maybe it was a low blow to her co-praetor, but she thinks he deserves it. He asked for it when he brought this topic up.
Jason's face curled into a tiny smirk, "I can't always be just human, I'm half god Reyna."
This time Reyna couldn't help but gleam at the reoccurrence of the old Jason, "You're half god, even the gods themselves are capable of acting like a childish yet inhumane monster." She pointed out not wanting him to get any more satisfaction than he already did.
"Are you calling me an inhumane monster?"
Reyna shrugged.
Jason actually laughed this time. The laugh that he would only allowed to be let loose from time to time. The laugh that she cracked out of him when she finally landed in Camp Jupiter after years of imprisonment on Circe's island. His sky blue eyes were gleaming with happiness. "I'm not an inhumane monster, plus I'm capable of loving, am I not?"
Again Reyna shrugged.
Jason took it as his cue to continue, "I'm just saying, maybe I needed to go to Camp Half-Blood and experience all their easy going nature. I'll admit, I'm too stiff in some aspect, but maybe before I did like you Reyna."
"Well looks like before doesn't really matter does it?" Jason dodged her piercing eyes, Reyna could tell he was trying to say sorry and she wasn't really doing a good job of helping him.
Jason stared over at the demigods fixing up the Argo II. "I talked with Pipes and-"
"Jason seriously? What happened to you? All this nickname stuff? This isn't you!" Reyna couldn't take it anymore, she simply burst. First it was his hesitating personality that seems to be emerging more and more. Then it was him forgetting his duty as a Roman soldier. "What happened to the Jason that's confident about the main priority? Where-"
"Maybe it's good for a change Reyna. I was getting to know how to express my feelings." Jason paused. "I found my sister Reyna, she was alive this whole time!" His eyes shone just like the time when he found out that both him and Reyna had been voted as praetors. "I don't want to be that heartless guy all the time, maybe it's because I felt a bit guilty towards the fact that Juno placed fake memories in Piper's head or maybe I wanted to experience the feeling of being loved."
"No one asked you to do anything for anyone."
"No, but you were the one that pushed me away-"
"What are you talking-"
"That time, Venus visited us. Remember? She talked to you, and you closed out on me. You said that I've changed… then what happened to you Reyna?"
"I'm not going to spend my time wagering with useless emotions." Reyna said coldly. She had been trained to be like this, even before Camp Jupiter. Perhaps it started when she was with Circe, who completely despised men. Even Jason, who was by her own definition the perfect guy, was casted aside until he had proven himself worthy of her attention. Right when he had gained it however, it was pushed aside.
"These are not worthless emotions and you know it." Jason said stubbornly.
"Don't you have somewhere to be lover boy?" Reyna sneered.
"I know you remember Reyna, stop avoiding the subject! Why can't you just admit your feelings? There's nothing stopping you but your damn stubbornness! You never did told me what happened between you and Venus aside from the fact that you guys talked."
"You don't need to know-"
"Yes I do, even if we're not as close as before, you are still my friend and-"
"Don't play the noble card with me Jason. If you really were my friend you would understand that I wouldn't tell anything to anyone unless I really have to or if that person is important to me, something that you're definitely lacking."
Reyna knew she was pushing Jason away by saying this, but at the same time she knew that she wouldn't let what the goddess said come true.
"So what? We're not as important as we were before?" Jason questioned and she knew that he was talking about their own relationship. Whether or not it was official, they had both felt something in the past, but like before, it was all in the past.
Reyna stayed silent as her mind slipped back to her meeting with Venus.
"Jason, wait a moment." Reyna said to her combat partner as she started off towards the ruins.
"Reyna! It's not safe! There might be-"
Reyna placed two fingers to her lips and motioned him to stay here. "There's something… or someone there. Just give me a few minutes. If I'm not back…" Reyna let that thought trailed off. "Don't worry, I'll be back." Before she could stop herself, she placed a kiss on his cheek which seems to shut him up pretty efficiently.
She turned to Jason who had a pretty annoying smirk on his face. "Doofus." She mumbled under her breath before hurrying off. She climbed over the overgrown vines and dead leaves until she came upon a clearing that contained a small table with chairs already set out.
"Sit."
Reyna twirled around to see probably the most stunning woman ever! Now Reyna have seen the enchanted Circe's and a couple goddess including her mother a few times… but this was beyond beautiful. It was everything and every quality that Reyna have ever dreamed of having yet much more beautiful on this woman. "Venus?"
Venus simply smiled, "Oh good! You know who I am, I guess that saves the introduction dear."
"I'm Reyna-"
"I know who you are daughter of Bellona, my, you're as beautiful as your mother! The same fierce look!" Venus looked disapprovingly towards the sword strapped on Reyna's armor. "Tsk tsk! Weapons, well it's as expected of a daughter of Bellona."
"Lady Venus," Reyna bowed to make sure as to not offend the goddess, since it's not every day that a goddess, especially a goddess of love visits you without reasons of her own.
"No need the formality, so the son of Jupiter is here with you?" Venus as with her eyes gleaming.
"He's-" Reyna was about to call Jason when a cup of tea pushed itself towards Reyna causing her to choke.
"No, no need, actually I just wanted to talk to you." Venus said sweetly. "You two are cute, sure enough, but… hmm not as exciting as the daughter of Athe-" Venus quickly stopped herself, "For any reason, your fate is not entwined at the mome-"
"Huh?"
"You and that son of Jupiter… sons of Jupiter have always had a bad history with women." Venus explained. "Perhaps they all meant well, but the girl always end up dying or whatever they love end up destroyed."
Reyna's eye flashed with worry as she tried to interpret what he goddess was implying.
"As Romans it's only natural that the most important thing for you guys is the reconstruction of New Rome, a safe haven for all those veterans and children." Venus paused as she stared at the sinking horizon.
"Lady Venus, with all due respect-"
"Oh no need the respect, I'm just here to warn you. To love the son of Jupiter right now will be the downfall of New Rome itself."
"That doesn't even make sense." Reyna tried to argued.
"No of course not. Of course having a love story right before the revenge of the gian-" Venus stopped herself. "In any case, falling in love with Jason Grace will mean that you have failed your responsibilities as Roman soldiers."
"What are you talking about-"
"Reyna, Jason's love life, his destiny as one of the children of the prophecy-"
"Children? Jason is the only one-"
"You'll understand, but Jason's decision…" Venus stared at the sky. "Curse Juno for making me say this, but Roman gods aren't supposed to interact with their kids, so I'll give you this warning once Reyna. For your people to survive through this crisis, you'll have to give up the one thing that could make you waver."
"Lady Venus, there's absolutely nothing that could-"
Venus smiled mischievously, "Ah, but that's where you're wrong my child. Love conquers all. Whether tragic or success, love always plays a crucial role. I'll tell you this, Jason Grace and you are similar in many aspects, you guys won't show your emotions if the latter doesn't seem interested. If you can turn your attention away from him, it'll be best for the both of you."
Reyna stared at the goddess, eyes-wide, "You're supposed to be the love goddess, why are you-"
"Love is tragic, while some may be happy, others are simply just tragic. But I guess those are the best love stories." She said giddily. "As Romans you always need to put duty before love." Venus glared at the sword at Reyna's waist. "Curse Mars and his stupid discipline, but Rome needs a strong ruler who can carry the burden of sacrifice. Jason Grace carries the same burden as you, and if you let love conquer your sense of duty…" Venus trailed off and cleared her throat. "At any rate, if your relationship with Jason Grace progresses now, you'll be putting your responsibility in peril."
"Lady Venus, with all due respect, we have nothing-"
"Love, a wonderful and hidden concept. I'll tell you this, Juno will take matters in her own hands and Jason will be drawn towards the enemy side, but because he's drawn to the enemy side, he will be able to make the decision. Less things at sake, less sacrifice."
"Nothing can overpower my sense of duty."
"Prove it Daughter of Bellona. Prove your duty by pushing away Jason Grace, but let me remind you… at the end, love will conquer all and in this case, your love life is rather interesting, or course there's another love life more interesting and much more tragic than yours, but again, this is one of the best love story within Rome for a while."
"Lady Venus-"
"Don't worry Daughter of Bellona, it's only for a brief while, of course everything will be set back on its course, but a little suffering is needed. I'm even sacrificing one of my children for the fulfillment of this." Venus almost squealed as she continued. "I hate to pull her out of her blossoming love, but," Venus sighed. "I'm afraid, Juno is right, your time is not here yet."
"What are you-"
"In about a year or two… you'll see Daughter of Bellona." Venus said as she stared to turn brighter and brighter.
Reyna stared to shield her eyes away but the goddess of love continued talking, "Just remember, love will conquer all!" She said giddily before a smell of perfume filled the air.
She stared at the empty place in front of her and tried to comprehend what she had just been told. She stared at the clearing where Jason's head was poking out of the bush with dead leaves all over his hair. When he finally noticed her, his eyes got wide, "Reyna… did you have a makeover?"
*End of Flashback*
"You've never acted the same since, even when we were on that mission. You kissed me Reyna, then what? That's it? You decided you didn't like me?"
Reyna glared into Jason as she was being reminded of her top priority at the moment, the reconstruction of New Rome. "I don't care how you interpret that, but you would be too much of a kid if you thought that kiss meant anything." She said coldly.
Jason studied her, "You know exactly what I'm talking about don't you? Something did happen."
"Nothing happen, even you haven't came back it would've been fine, Perseus Jackson would've been able to fill your spot as praetor easily." She knew the double meaning behind her words and apparently Jason understood it as well because she was able to feel the electric in the air as the tree next to her got strike down.
"Perseus Jackson, he doesn't belong here in New Rome. He's over at Camp Half-Blood."
"Just like how you belong over there with your girlfriend?"
"Can't you just let me explain myself first?"
"I told you I don't really care whether or not you explain yourself!" She yelled.
"You care." Jason stated stubbornly.
"I don't."
"Yes… you do."
"Prove it! There's nothing-"
"You are talking to me this whole time, there's still some unfinished business between us."
"I talk to lots of people every day, does that mean I want to get into a relationship with them? Are you calling me a whore?"
Jason sighed in frustration and ignored Reyna's attempt to piss him off, "You could've left any time… actually considering that it's you… you probably would've left already-"
"That doesn't mean anything-"
"You still care, you could've left a while ago, you could've just avoided this conversation, but you chose to talk it out because you're still hoping there's a chance for us."
"Well don't you have a big ego?" Reyna scoffed. "No, the only reason why I'm even considering to talk to you because as of this moment, you are the co-praetor and either way I'll be forced to communicate with you even over the stupidest thing."
"Oh so this is stupid now?"
"Yes Jason Grace." She said his name with distaste. "This is stupid, this whole talk is stupid. Everything we did together is stupid! The important thing right now is reconstructing New Rome-"
"I don't care if your main priority is for New Rome! Why can't you think about yourself for a change! Us Romans we're always for the community! We're always for our whole community! Greeks… you know why they experience more thrill than us? They do everyone on impulse! Percy Jackson! He's a prime example of impulse! That guy reeks of impulse! They understand that while they have to fight for their camp, their own individual lives matter as well! It's not all about our duty Reyna! Can't you just stop and think of yourself for once?"
Reyna stared at Jason open eyed, if she didn't know better, she would've said that he was simply jealous of Percy Jackson. "If I can do my responsibilities, then I'm able to do something for myself."
"Stop being like this Reyna, if you had just given yourself some wiggle room instead of putting up a tough front all the time-"
"Tell that to yourself Mr. Big Shot!" She glared at him. "If you hadn't left me alone with this position, I wouldn't be burdened for so long!" She could feel the bits of tears slipping from her eyes as she continued and struggled to hold them back, "Who was my friend… best friend that I've always went to? Who was the one that shared this burden with me? You said that I never think of myself, have you ever considered that maybe I didn't have the option? It was either to face the burden alone or let Octavian take over… and you saw how well that went!"
This time it was Jason's turn to stay silent as he studied his old friend in front of him.
"Then just after you came back, you were drooling all over another girl!" She couldn't take it anymore, she simply lashed out at him as he stood there accepting every curse she threw at him.
Jason accepted her punches and pulled her in for a hug as she continued to struggle.
"I hate you! I completely hate you! Of all people why does it have to be you?" She shut her eyes tight as Jason wrapped his arms around her. "I miss my best friend, where's the guy that could laugh with me? I don't even see you anymore aside from meetings."
She could feel Jason hesitating before he answered, "I broke up with Piper."
Reyna pushed away from Jason, her eyes still red, but she managed to restrain the tears from falling. "What?"
"I broke up with Piper," He said with more confidence. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."
"If you think-"
"I'm not asking for anything, but you're still my best friend, so I think that you deserved to know." He said nervously twitching his feet back and forth.
Reyna asked the only question that was on her mind. "Why?"
"Bros before hoes right?" Jason smiled weakly as he stared at the young Vul-Hephaestus kid sitting at the base of the Argo II.
"Leo?" Reyna asked in surprise.
"The time I was gone Reyna, my memories were completely wiped and Leo was tricked by the Mist into believing that he was my best friend, which he is now of course, but they were all tricked by the Mist. Piper on the other hand, was tricked by her mother that we had something." Jason quickly said as he scanned Reyna's face for any sign of emotions. "Leo is Piper's real boyfriend. They had a thing long before I came in, but Leo's fate was… well a complicated one. According to Aphrodite, he needed to dwell with himself for a while. Without girls influence…" Jason thought to himself. "Maybe that's why he's always flirting with others, it's too fill in that hole that was for Piper."
"The only reason why Venus, well in this case Aphrodite, would even consider pairing Piper with me… is because she wanted a good love story… well maybe it'll allow me to think a bit clearly if I understood that I never really loved Piper. As you said the duty of a Roman soldier, if true love with involved… I don't think we would've won."
"Are you kidding me now? You're telling me that Venus screwed all this up for the sake of making a good love story?"
Jason shrugged, "Sort of? Everything's returning to normal, I'm regaining nearly all of my memories and Percy is regaining his as well. Aphrodite's trick with the Mist is slowly dissolving-"
Reyna hesitated for a second, "So I'm the rebound girl?"
"No!" Jason said quickly.
"I'll have you know that I'm not interested in any romantic relationship right now." Reyna said cautiously. "If you think breaking up with Piper is going to help you, you're wrong Jason. Piper may have worshipped the ground that you walked on because you're a hot guy or because she's under your spell, but I'm not that way."
"Hot guy?" Jason managed a slight smile.
"In Piper's perspective."
"But that's not-"
"Whatever relationship we had before you lost your memory, it's gone Jason. You could keep trying to get it back but it's not going to work, because you've changed. You're not the same person you were before. Your stupid excuse of being an amnesiac is not going to help you this time."
Jason was taken aback by his friend's word. Maybe he had expected an easier confrontation. He hadn't realized how much pain he had put Reyna through until Leo had explained his feelings about Piper. Leo's frustration just seeing Jason and Piper together due to the presence of the mist. The misshapen between their relationship as best friends then finally lovers. For a normally easy going guy, Leo seemed pretty upset when he told Jason.
"I'm just trying to tell you that I understood what you went through seeing that I came back with another girl-"
"You sure hold yourself to the most important priority in my life don't you Jason? Well I'll have you know that Rome is my top priority, not some lame excuse of a praetor who couldn't even understand his own emotions." Reyna strapped her dagger on her belt. "Everyone else may have seen you as a praetor, maybe even a great one, but not me."
"Reyna-"
Reyna didn't let him finished as she continued. "To me, you are nothing but a pathetic guy; you forget your duties for the fulfillment of your own enjoyment. Even if individual enjoyment is needed, you should never forget the responsibility you have to the people. When you went over to the Greek camp, you kept your skills, tactics, bravery, courage, and much more. But you lost the most important thing as a Roman soldier, duty."
"I didn't-"
"Don't even try to deny it. You are more concern about your personal life with Piper than you were with the peril of Rome. Maybe Lady Venus has affected your thinking, but you should still remember your duty as a praetor. You came here today, not to talk about the reconstructing of Rome but rather for your own wellness, to make sure that I still like you." Reyna paused for a second as if trying to find words for her thoughts. "I'm not saying individual wellness and happiness is not important, but take a second to consider those who's always been there for you Jason. Keep your priority straight and your duty as a person in check." With that said, Reyna walked away, finishing what she had wanted to say to her old friend.
Jason stood for a second thinking of what Reyna had just told him. She pretty much told him right out that he was a person without honor. So pretty much a bastard who only cares for his own personal feelings.
Finally it hit him, all this time Reyna wasn't walking about his duty to Rome or anything. Well maybe she was referring a bit to that, but she was talking more his duty as a loyal friend. He had left her at the most vulnerable moment. While Reyna was true to her words towards her duty to Rome, she's still just a normal person. Jason hadn't considered that, he simply assumed that Reyna was about to take care of herself. He never considered the fact that she had spent so much time for New Rome that she had forgotten about herself.
He didn't realize that he was the person she had turned to for her own individual happiness. All this time he had thought of Reyna as someone incapable of individual happiness just to realize that he was the loyal friend that she was proud of… at least proud of until he just let her down completely by disregarding his duty as her loyal friend.
"HEY!" Jason called out to the girl that was walking away.
Reyna turned around just to see Jason stopping right in front of her. "What?"
"I'm sorry." Jason said quietly. "You know for not being there."
"It's a bit too late for that now. You're no longer the Jason I knew from before."
Jason held out his hand, "How about we get to know each other again then?"
Reyna hesitated.
"It's the least I could do as a friend." He held out his hand again, "I'm Jason."
Instead of shaking his hand Reyna simply walked away.
"HEY-"
Reyna turned back, a smirk evident on her face, "If you remembered correctly, I wasn't an easy person to approach, so if you want to start over… I do not know you at all."
Jason looked at her, dumbfounded for a second as the girl he once knew continued walking.
"R-Reyna! I'm just kidding about the starting over."
The daughter of Bellona continued to walk on.
"Reyna!"
She ignored him.
"I'm not kidding."
She still ignored him.
"It's about New Rome."
Now she turned around. "Yes? You have something to discussed?"
He narrowed his eyes at her for a moment, "Yes, New Rome, where demigods and half-bloods can grow old, get married and start a family without a fear, that's exactly how I want my life."
Reyna hoped that she wasn't blushing and judging from Jason's expression she was glad that she was able to keep her emotions in check.
"Really? Nothing Reyna?"
"Was there supposed to be something?"
"I don't know? Maybe a shy smile, a friendly comment, a friendly slap-"
Reyna slapped the son of Jupiter. "Good enough for you?"
Jason rubbed his shoulder, "That hurts you know."
"You said friendly slap."
"So we're friends now?"
"I never said that-"
"No… you said friendly slap."
"Note I said friendly, but that has nothing pertaining to being friends."
"Technically that word derived from the word friend."
"It's describing something, not stating a fact."
Jason sighed, knowing that he could never beat Reyna at an argument, "Can't we be friends?"
"For now we're partners, co praetor if it makes you feel better. But let me make it clear, we are not friends."
Reyna continued walking towards her own cabin, which surprisingly was also Jason's cabin at this moment.
"Reyna, come on!"
Reyna smiled to herself.
Well at least she knows that her best friend was back.
So long story short, I was having a bit of writers block with A Wise Seaweed Plan… and you know since I wrote one with Jason and Piper, I feel it's only right if I wrote one for Jason and Reyna. I'm not a heavy shipper of anything in regards to Jason, sorta a half half. I mean, I totally understand that Jason and Piper is canon and they love each other but at the same time I also respect and understand Reyna's point of view. So perhaps a little bit of Reyna for you with a dash of Leo and Piper.
I just felt like it would be rushing if they suddenly got into a relationship so it's probably a good place to end? I don't know what do you guys think?
While writing this I was listening to It's Time by Imagine Dragons you guys should totally give that song a listen to. It's amazing if I do say so myself
AAZ OUT!