Chapter 25
I get up in the morning about 9AM, take a shower, get dressed and eat breakfast. I flip on VH1 for some music. There's a TV in the kitchen, so that gets me up in the morning. I smile to myself; even though I'm alone in the house, it doesn't bother me anymore. I like the quiet; it's nice for a Monday morning. I take a look at Erica; she's so beautiful. She hasn't gotten up yet. We got a decent crib for her not too long after I moved in. I only got to pay half, which was nice. I'll wake her in an hour or so and then let her rest for the afternoon. I'm not 21 anymore. I had my birthday a week ago. It was nice; we all went out for dinner, and I was glad to get past last year. Erica's only a couple of weeks old and she cries like you wouldn't believe. Alice and Dad come home around the same time, so I don't need to worry about what to do in the evening just yet. I told Alice about what happened in my life; she took it really well and gave me lots of advice. I have to admit that I was nervous about telling her, but now I feel better about it. She said that for a while I might still be nervous. She also told me that I should write down my feelings and show her what I wrote. I've been writing things down every day and I feel better about doing it. She takes a look at it when she gets home. She likes what she sees, but sometimes she's taken back by my thoughts. The frustration about Rick has settled a little bit but it's still there. Alice has been a huge help with the frustration and I thank her for it. Usually we talk a couple of times a week about it. I know that in a couple of months I won't be thinking about him anymore. I've cried a couple of times; mainly for home. I miss Mom and Mike; we've talked on the phone, but it's not the same. I should try to get down to see them one day. I haven't found a job yet, but I don't need to worry about that for a while. I turn off the TV and take Erica into the kitchen. I get a pen and some paper and begin writing. I don't know what I'm writing, but maybe it'll make sense later. I turn on the radio for some inspiration. I find a station and I hear "Punching In A Dream", which reminds me of when I was singing. Wow; go figure. Hey, a song's a song. I still smoke on occasion. I'm trying to quit; it's a bad habit. I always go out in the backyard and smoke while I watch Erica through the window. It's a nice Indian summer, which reminds me of the summers when I was a kid. The rest of the day, I take care of her, surf the net and go outside to the backyard for a little bit until my parents come home. They got me a laptop, which I should've bought myself a while ago. I haven't made any friends yet, but I haven't really been in the neighbourhood for very long. Hopefully, soon I'll get to know somebody. They say patience is a virtue; maybe they're right. I'm still trying to find myself. When I told Rick about how I could relate to that Sara Bareilles song I was being honest, but I realize that life is more than just being sad. I realize that I'm in control of my own destiny. God helps those who help themselves. That's probably some of the best advice you could ever give to anyone. Remember those teen novels? The ones we used to read in high school? Well, a lot of them have to deal with issues like finding yourself, for example. Anyway, at the end of the novel, they usually bring back the topic that they dealt with in the first chapter and realize something that they didn't at the beginning of the book. But what those books leave out is reality. We can relate to the characters, and yet we can't. What we need to realize is that reality is what happens now. It's there; we can see it right in front of us every day of our lives. Life is not a book; it can change in the blink of an eye. I don't know what'll happen tomorrow or the next day. It's a surprise, waiting to happen. I think I've finally found it; the start of my brand new life. When Dad and Alice come in, I race to the door and give Dad a hug; he smiles.
"Hey, honey."
"Hi, Dad. I love you." I start to choke up.
He pauses.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know," I say. "A little home sick."
He smiles at me.
"Don't worry about it. It happens. Pretty soon, you won't have that feeling anymore."
"You sure?" I ask.
"Positive. What did you do all day?"
"Took care of Erica and just hung out," I say. "It's nice weather."
"It is. We got pizza and some groceries. Wanna help?"
I smile
"Sure."
I help dad with the groceries and we get dinner set up. I pour myself a glass of coke with some ice. It was nice lying out in the backyard; very peaceful and nostalgic. But I have to live in the moment. It doesn't bother me; reality is fine. You can't live in the past forever. I take a bite out of dinner. Mmmm…pizza.

Acknowledgements

There are many people whom I'd like to thank:

First of all, my parents; thank you for giving me the time to write this and for supporting me on this journey. Second of all to my friends, especially Stephanie, my best friend and Stephanie, my co-worker. You guys have been so supportive during this process and I thank you for it. To my workers; thank you for giving me the time to write as well and for just being great workers. And last, but not least, to all my reviewers - especially crazyforkpop and Mable: thank you so much for your input; it has been much appreciated.

See you all in the next book

Always,

Zack (AKA Geoffery Kahn)