Hello lovely people :D

This is my second Supernatural fic this week! Granted the other one was just a short one shot about Bobby but still. :P

This contains spoilers for season 8, set in the second to last episode but refers to things throughout the season.

I wanted to write a Destiel fic. I'm not sure it's going to turn into full out slash or keep it as friendship yet so keep an open mind xD

I have no idea where I'm going to go with this but I guess we'll see

This first chapter is dedicated to my first reviewer as is my wont :P

I don't own Supernatural or any of it's characters or sets but I would be happy to take Destiel if they can't handle the ship ;)

Enjoy ^.^

Castiel kept his face as stoic as possible while Dean Winchester yelled at him. They were standing outside the bunker, by the impala. The angel had materialised after his conversation with Metatron at the Eugenie's Bistro about the angel trials. He had come to tell them the news and found them ready to leave to resurrect Abbadon for the third trial. Sam had invited him to join them but he had declined, eager to share his own news. As he was speaking, he watched as Dean's face began to harden. Sam had gone back inside the bunker to fetch something and seemed to have the good sense to stay away until the fight was over. A few heated comments from Dean and perhaps not thoroughly thought through replies from Castiel had led them here.

'You know what Cas? I'm sick of you! I'm sick of you just popping in when you feel like it! Ignoring my prayers when I need you!' Dean stopped and took a breath, rubbing his stubble with his hand. Admittedly, sometimes he prayed to Cas when he wanted guidance. With both John and Bobby dead he had no one to turn to when he was worried about Sammy. Weren't angels supposed to help with that kind of crap?

'I have my own battles to fight, Dean' Castiel said. He didn't want to concede this one and apologise. He was doing the right thing. Hiding the angel tablet, protecting it; getting ready to complete Metatron's tasks so he could help clean up Heaven. He was trying to be good. Why did Dean always have to make him feel bad?

'We're fighting the same battles Cas!' Dean shouted, gesturing wildly 'We're on the same side here! Only you don't seem to remember that! We work together on things like this!'

'No' Castiel shot back, meeting Dean's eyes with anger 'You always need my help. I can do this on my own'

'Then why did you bother to tell us at all Cas?' Dean asked, his voice lower, sadder.

'Because I thought that we were friends, Dean' he replied 'And friends trade information about their lives. And this is important'

'Friends ask for help too.' Dean said, not breaking eye contact. 'Y'know, once we've done the third trial, me and Sam will help you'

'I don't need you' Castiel said shortly 'You'll only slow me down'

'We work better as a team Cas, and you know it' Dean said, turning his back on the angel. When he looked back he was surprised to see that Cas was still there.

'I come when you need me, isn't that enough?' Castiel didn't understand Dean's anger at him. Granted, Dean was nearly always angry about something but Castiel didn't feel like he deserved to be yelled at for no reason; and he wasn't in the mood. He had been excited at the prospect of closing Heaven's gates to help heal the chaos up there and perhaps childishly, he had wanted Dean to be excited for him too.

Dean wasn't thrilled. At all. He was hurt at how happy Cas seemed to be at the idea of closing Heaven. Locking himself upstairs too for God knows how long. Especially as time is different up there. Cas could be gone for months, years even. Maybe a lifetime. He didn't see why Cas wanted to leave so badly.

'No Cas, it isn't. You need to decide. If you're with us, then you're with us all the way, all in. No take backsies, no half-assed commitments. We can do this Cas, and we could use your help.' Castiel looked away, breaking eye contact with Dean, his green eyes were sincere, the promise of forgiveness in his voice; and Cas wanted Dean to forgive him. If he had learned anything about Dean over his time on Earth, then it was that Dean felt betrayal deeply and he didn't forgive easily because it took him a long time to build up trust to the point where he would feel betrayed. Castiel hated that he had hurt Dean, and wanted to atone for his sins, but he had a mission. He was an angel of the Lord. Dean and Sam Winchester were just men. Castiel's mission was to protect them, and all of God's other creations. He couldn't put the happiness of one man above the well-being of 6 billion. He conveniently ignored the fact that the Winchesters always acted for the good of the many as well. Choosing instead to focus on the hypocrisy that the Winchesters always did things their own way.

'You don't seem to want me around when I show up anyway' Castiel argued 'You ignore me, or yell at me as you are doing now' Dean's face contorted slightly

'I'm sorry, man' he said 'I'll try not to do that. I just look at you and think...'

'You think of all the times that I have wronged you' Castiel finished. Dean just looked down. Castiel sighed 'you don't have to forgive me Dean. Just let me do my job'

'Yeah? Well what is that exactly Cas? I thought your job, was to protect people! In which case, I'm giving you your job here! Help us.'

'It is not my job to babysit you!' Dean stepped back, a small step but Castiel saw it, he knew how Dean hated relying on others, and that when he asked for help he always half-expected the other to deny it to him. Castiel licked his lips nervously, he didn't want to hurt Dean. He actually wanted to stay and help, but why didn't Dean understand? He had to complete the angel trials to help Heaven, his own people whom he had mercilessly slaughtered.

Dean huffed through his nose, the defensive sound he made when he backed out of a fight with bravado, to cover his rejection

'Fine. We'll do it on our own' he had half turned away before Castiel tried to make amends, too late

'Dean-'

'Save it Cas! I don't care. This is what you want. So just fricking go! And don't you worry. I'll look after Sammy, and fix everything. Go!'

Anger flared within Castiel, he wasn't sure where it had come from but he definitely did not appreciate Dean's insinuation that he didn't want to help. His voice shook slightly and he spoke slowly

'Fine. But don't bother praying for me. I won't come back'

And he went.

Oh dear. Our boys are fighting :(

Ok, I think that the plot is going to derail slightly from here on in (obviously, or I'd just be rewriting the episodes)

What do you think so far? Do you want me to continue? It's mostly in Cas' narrative but there's a little bit of Dean in there too. It may fluctuate a bit over the chapters :P I really tried to capture the way they speak and I hope I did that ... maybe.

Please let me know your opinions ^.^ I love and appreciate all kinds of feedback

Love Tibbins xx