A Moment Like THIS?
By: Queenie and Kate
Mark
Looking up at the ceiling I sigh, he said he'd be back hours ago but, as
always, I don't seem to matter when it comes to promises. I haven't been able to
stop thinking about him lately, whenever I'm alone or doing nothing, I see him
in my mind, I see him laughing or playing his guitar, or just sitting... like
me. I've known that he was special since we became best friends right after we
moved in together after meeting at a party and both needing a roommate, it's
worked out pretty well too, except for one thing, falling in love with your
best friend doesn't work. Especially when it's Roger, tough-guy, rocker,
amazing, Roger... Him being not gay isn't what makes
us impossible though... Because I've seen the way he looks at other guys
sometimes, I've seen him watching porn still liking it when the girl was out of
the picture, and I've seen him watching guys at the bar. No it's him loving me
that would be impossible, not in any other way than a friend. How could he ever
love the gentle, quiet filmmaker...
The sound of the door opening interrupts my train of thought as I look up to
see a very sexy Roger walk into the room and something comes over me. I can't take
this anymore, hiding how I feel, and dodging when I know he's showering or
changing, because I know that I wouldn't be able to hid it, my shirts aren't
that long and my pants aren't that loose. So I look up at him and kind of point
towards the couch beside me as I know my knees won't support me if I try to
stand up. He comes over to me looking kind of confused but sits beside me
anyway and before I know what I'm doing my lips are on his and my arms moving
upwards.
Roger
Feeling lips on mine, my body responds the way it's meant to. Eyes close, lips
kiss back, hands slide up back. The scratchiness of a sweater rubs against my
palms and it suddenly occurs to me who I'm kissing. This isn't my beautiful
girlfriend Mimi; this isn't some random guy I picked up at a club while we were
broken up... This is Mark. Good old roommate-y Mark.
Ewww, and he kind of tastes
like tea. I've never liked tea, not since my girlfriend back in the 7th grade
made me smoke "tea cigarettes" with her. My eyes fly open and I wiggle
away from him a little. "Mark? What are you doing?"
Mark
As I feel him return the kiss I move closer towards him trying to decide
whether or not to move on top of him, but that thought is gone as I feel him
pull away and ask me what's happening. Stunned I'm not entirely sure what to
say, as there really isn't an explanation other than telling him the truth,
which I'm not sure he'll want to hear, but as I seem to have no other option...
"I love you, and I... I mean I'm *in* love with you and well, you're sexy
and I wanted to... um well... umm..." Brilliant Mark...
Roger
"Oh." I scratch the back of my head and try to think of the proper
way to respond. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I haven't thought about Mark
this way before. I mean, when you've lived with a guy as long as... and you've
seen him at his most vulnerable... There were times when he was upset about
Maureen and I would have loved to have been the person to lay down next to him
and make everything alright. Except, I had a girlfriend- who
I loved- then. And I have one now. I blink and decide to just play my
"stupidRoger" card.
"You know, you taste like tea, Marky. Next time... no
more tea?" I grin widely, reaching out and running a finger over
his cheek. "You think I'm sexy?"
Mark
So what's he thinking? I just look at him trying to figure out what's going on
in his head as he seems to think. His words are a welcome relief, he's not mad,
and he's not going to have this huge screaming fit, which I was half-expecting.
With that gone, I take his hand from my cheek and move it... downwards, as I
decide to take a gamble and move onto him. "Yes, very sexy," I
whisper into his ear before kissing him again. "Want to make something of
it?"
Roger
Back into my being-kissed-kissing-back mode, I slide my hands up Mark's back again. He's a good kisser... not that I'm surprised, after all the drunken conversations I've had with Maureen. And this *is* making him happy... which is good. I never knew Mark was gay, but anything that makes him happy--- then again, this *won't* make Mimi happy. Which is bad. Unless I... I place my hand on Mark's chest and gently push him away again. "You know I love Mimi."
Mark
Deciding to stay where I am for the moment I wonder if this will actually
become something or if it will end up with him just going back to Mimi, which
can't happen, because I love him and it's totally not fair that she'd get him
unless... When I hear his voice I look at him like he's read my mind before
getting a devilish grin on my face. "I know... but I love you too, and I
know you want this, so... You like Mimi and me, right? And Mimi likes guys,
right? So what if Mimi could have two guys?"
Roger
I rub the back of my head, staring at Mark for a minute. Is he really serious? "Mimi already could have two guys. Remember when she was seeing me and Benny at the same time?" I never had any proof to that, but I'm sure she did, it's fairly obvious. Why else would Benny have said all he did? He's not creative enough to have come up with that on his own. "I have to talk to her, Mark... we can't make decisions like that without her. Can we?"
Mark
"We could... or we could just surprise her when she gets home... that would work too," I casually mention knowing that Roger probably understood what I meant by that as he picks up even nonexistent sexual innuendoes.
Roger
I blink at Mark and dig into my arm with a guitar pick. I'm not dreaming. This is insane. I know I love Mimi, but again, I love Mark too... I think. Love probably would explain my want to take care of him and make him happy. And why I put up with his mother-y nagging. "Won't Mimi be mad and yell-y if she comes home and we're naked in me and hers bed together?" I ask bluntly.
Mark
At that I just burst out laughing and for some reason, continue because I can't think of anything in the world funnier than that question. "Perhaps we can wait in our clothes and… Um... show her... with her, so she's happy..."
Roger
I stare forward at Mark and his giggling. I seem to be doing that a lot these past... minutes. "I still think she'll be mad... Or confused. I'd be confused," I admit. I frown, thinking about what to do. Mark and I always could... And then I could bring the idea up to Mimi after... Or would shock be more likely to make her agree? I don't know my girlfriend at all!
Mark
Seeing him trying to figure this all out I bend a bit so our foreheads are
touching and look into his eyes. "What do you think?" He must be
thinking something because that's generally the only time when Roger doesn't
know what to say, which is extremely rare. Tracing the contours of his face
with my finger I raise my eyebrows and await a response.
Roger
"I can't figure out if Mimi'd be more likely agree if we shocked her, or if I talked to her after we already..." I confess, closing my eyes for a second. Strangely, Mark is "dominating" me at the moment, which is never the case. I'll have to change that. "I mean... we could either be waiting, or we could... and then I'd talk to her about it."
Mark
Unfortunately I can't answer that question but I can sure take a guess.
"Well, from what I've heard while you're drunk Mimi would go for pretty
much anything kinky and if you start to talk to her about it and it seems like
she hates the idea you could dismiss it as a weird dream or something and
she'll never have to know," I say, looking down at him liking this feeling
of being so close...
Roger
I open my eyes, finding myself staring right into Mark's blue ones. He does have a point. In fact, this probably wouldn't have been the first time Mimi did something like this. And this is even better, because I'm positive she loves Mark as much as I do. Who wouldn't?
It's strange, this idea may have passed through my head once or twice-- me and Mark-- but I never would have thought to act on it. Until now. I hope this doesn't make me out to be an asshole... But Mark's right, I could just claim it was a dream. I don't want to, it would hurt him. But I could. A grin crosses my face as I settle my arms in around Mark again. "Alright, Lover Boy. Your bed or mine?"
----
Author's Note: Well then… I promise, this is going somewhere, it's not just incredibly random M/R, you'll just have to read to see where it's going.
Disclaimer: None of the characters are ours… just Jonathan Larson's.
-----