The Third Wheel

The days became longer, after the accident.

Deidara's days were normally very short. They started with waking up next to the man he loved. Sharing a nice breakfast with him, probably argue a bit about why white bread was a lot tastier than that weird, healthy stuff Itachi always had... Before getting dressed. They would sometimes take a quick shower together and Deidara would leave to study while Itachi would leave for work. And after a few hours, they'd be back together, either in their home or downtown. They'd have supper, before Deidara would come up with something fun to do. Always something different.

Video games, cards, making some clay figures, drawing or baking... Itachi usuallyput up with anything Deidara would come up with. He'd smile and sit down to spend some quality time with his blonde betrothed. And when Deidara would finally become tired and restless Itachi would force him into bed. And before Deidara knew it he'd be awake again to experience another amazing morning with his dear Itachi.

But Itachi was no more.

And the days became so long, so long...

It felt good having his best friend's support all this time. It meant the redhead really cared for him, and knowing someone cared for you was always nice. But Deidara just couldn't stop thinking about it. The days... Had became so long. And so empty. And if Itachi was the one who used to fill them up... Deidara's days were now destined to always be this long. And honestly, the thought made Deidara want to cry.

Of course he didn't cry much around Sasori. Crying was something he did at night. Alone. When he had absolutely nothing else to focus his thoughts on. He kept thinking, kept remembering the wonderful times and memories... And he kept realizing how he'd never feel them again. He kept realizing, he kept learning, seeing the reality in the dark. The empty, cruel reality.

But during the days, Sasori and everyone else who came looking by remembered Deidara of how thankful he should be that his life wasn't completely empty. And how his days could have been even longer.

A day felt like a month right now. But it would have felt like a year without Sasori by his side.

The redhead had made the decision to stay at Deidara's place until the blonde felt somewhat better. It wasn't like he thought Deidara couldn't take care of himself, but he knew Deidara would never admit how he hated being lonely. So staying with him for a few months was something obvious to do. And Deidara was totally okay with it. He was happy to have Sasori there, even if he never told him that.

Sasori had planned to stay there for about three months. But the days were so short.

The days he spent taking care of Deidara went by ridiculously fast. He'd blink, and one week would have passed. He'd blink, and he'd see Deidara there with him. The blonde had become unusually quiet. Not that it wasn't expected of him. But it pained Sasori a little; He hadn't heard that beautiful laughter ever since that day... Still, just having him there, being able to clean the house for him, help him with homework and sometimes cook for him... It was relieving. It made Sasori calm, and he knew it made Deidara feel less lonely.

It made the days feel so much shorter.

And before he knew it... One year had passed by.

And Deidara was still not lonely.

"Deidara, you idiot, did you leave the oven without turning it off?"

"I-"

"AGAIN?"

Deidara frowned slightly, walking into the kitchen, holding his math book. His hair put up in a messy round bun, wearing only a random gray T-shirt and black underwear. "I was going to turn it off, Danna..."

"No excuses. This is the reason why I should be the one doing the cooking, you know?"

"But you can't bake your own birthday cake, silly."

It was winter again, and as much as Deidara hated the winter nowadays(because of obvious reasons), Sasori's birthday was during the winter. 8Th of November. Both of them were now officially 20 years old. He had actually spent 1 year living with his best friend... And it had been nice. Deidara didn't know if it was an illusion or not, but his days were becoming... Shorter, it seemed. Like Sasori was making them pass by quicker.

It was weird, because Itachi should be the one doing that. It was his role. And Deidara didn't know if he was quite comfortable with Sasori doing it instead... No one could replace Itachi's place. He didn't know why, but it gave him a slightly weird feeling, what Sasori was doing to him... As much as he enjoyed experiencing shorter and less painful days.

Sasori was making something happen inside of Deidara's gut. Feelings he couldn't really explain.

But he couldn't help but smile at the redhead for each time he did something to make the hours pass by faster.

"I sure can, if it means I can avoid having this kitchen on fire." Shaking his head, Sasori turned the oven off before looking over at his... Roommate. "Are you still studying?"

"I'm done. I was thinking we could decorate the cake together? I made the frosting and cream and all... But, I mean, it's more fun decorating together."

"I thought you said I shouldn't make my own birthday cake, 'silly'?"

… He kept frowning for a while, until he chuckled a bit and put his book aside to go get the base of the cake from the fridge so they could start decorating. He liked how Sasori hadn't changed. Just because of Itachi's death, he hadn't suddenly became all nice and loving towards him. He was the same, perfect person Deidara appreciated. Sarcastic, with a dark sense of humor and realistic ways of thinking. It was comforting. If more things in Deidara's life were going to change, he'd kill himself, for real.

A lot of things did change though. Another year passed by, and Sasori had moved back to his own place. Deidara was on his own again. But he wasn't lonely...

They were best friends, but Deidara had realized how much time he actually spent with the redhead. How much time he WANTED to spend with him. They'd meet in town, at Sasori's place, his place... They'd go to all kinds of places together. The cinema, the mall, restaurants and amusement parks. It was just the way it used to be, when they were younger. People were using their names in the same sentence again. "Deidara and Sasori." The names where heard together, all the time.

They went everywhere together.

And today, they were going to pay Itachi a visit.

This was the first time Deidara was visiting Itachi's grave. He would have felt bad about not doing it earlier, but honestly he knew he wouldn't have been able to do it earlier. He had felt like he should just keep trying to forget him. Because remembering the Uchiha made time pass by slowly. And when your seconds suddenly turn to hours because of a person who no longer exists... It hurts.

But Deidara had been the one suggesting this and he felt like he could do it now. It was okay, he had accepted the change, he had moved on from the past and was welcoming the future. He loved Itachi, but he couldn't stay in a mad fantasy-world in his mind, where Itachi still lived. Sometimes, you just needed to be a little bit realistic. He learned that from a certain someone...

"You know..." Deidara sighed as he looked down at all the fresh roses now covering Itachi's grave, "There was something that made Itachi very, very special."

"Hm?" Sasori looked away from the grave and over at his friend. Deidara was shockingly calm, which was a good thing. It was clear how the blonde had become calmer and more accepting when it came to the truth.

"He made my hours feel like seconds, un." Deidara smiled a bit, taking a step back so he was standing next to Sasori. "And now my hours... Feel like hours. And you know, I'm okay with that, because even if I'm not living in a dream world anymore... I'm not in hell. I'm actually living in reality... And I'm totally okay with it."

The hazel brown eyes had widened slightly upon Deidara's little speech. He hadn't expected Deidara to say something like that. He had expected 'His amazing smile' or 'How well he treated me' or something cheesy like that. But for once, Sasori was actually very touched by hearing about Deidara's feeling for the Uchiha. And it was odd because, in a way, he could relate. Because Deidara was the one who made Sasori live in reality, instead of hell.

And it all made a very warm and genuine smile take shape on Sasori's lips. Something that didn't happen very often. But he couldn't help it, hearing that had made him feel both touched and proud. To love someone who thought like that. Like him.

"I understand exactly." He replied. And upon hearing that, Deidara felt himself blush slightly. Maybe because he suddenly realized how cheesy he had sounded... Maybe because he, for the first time ever, felt like Sasori actually did understand how much Itachi meant to him. And during all their years of friendship, Deidara felt like Sasori could understand all of his emotions... Except the ones he felt for Itachi.

But now Sasori understood everything. Every little thing about him. And Deidara didn't know how it was even possible... But it made his heart beat faster, knowing he had someone like that. Someone who could handle him perfectly. Someone who knew him inside out without barely trying. He was just there. He was just Sasori. Yet he was so very perfect without even trying... He had never looked at the redhead that way. Sure, he had always been the most amazing friend, and a person he respected. But this was weird. This was more than that; Sasori was making time run faster. He was being more than Deidara could ever expect, and only now he was realizing how many holes he actually filled up in Deidara's life. How many holes he had always been filling up. What was Deidara, really, without this person?

Those thoughts kind of got stuck in his head, after what happened at the graveyard. And even if a part of him didn't want to realize that he had accepted Itachi's death enough to actually move up and open up his eyes for... Someone else... Another part of him couldn't deny how happy Sasori was making him. And how he was becoming the only person Deidara needed, wanted around.

He had realized that... And another thing.

Sasori gave him those looks...

Had he always looked at him like that?

"Took you long enough."

Snapping out of his thoughts, Deidara looked up from the shoes he had just taken off. He was back at Sasori's house after going to get some ice cream. Yeah, he guessed he had taken his time... Not that he could help it. With all the things occupying his mind. "I picked the wrong ice cream so I had to go back and return it, un." They were probably the only people who'd suddenly crave ice cream in the middle of February. "But I got the right one with me! Triple chocolate, un." He walked inside after taking his jacket off. Smiling slightly as he felt the warmth of the house around him. He had always liked this place. It was warm, smelled like books and... Smelled a lot like Sasori. "Mm."

He sat down next to Sasori on the couch in the living-room. Noticing Sasori had already put some bowls and spoons on the coffee table, ready to be used. Looking over at the redhead, he felt content seeing he was reading a book, as always, sitting on the same spot he'd always sit on. Same position, same expression. He never changed. It was relieving. Comforting, in a way Itachi never was... "What are you reading, Danna?"

"The Boy in the Striped Pajamas." Sasori replied without looking away from the book, as he turned a page. He didn't continue reading though, and Deidara knew this, because his eyes were no longer moving. Which meant he actually had his focus on Deidara. "World War 2. It's about a boy from a German family who meets-"

"I didn't ask." Deidara smirked a bit as Sasori looked up from the book to give him a slightly annoyed look. He put down the book before crossing his arms and shaking his head at the blonde. "Polite, are we?" Deidara just chuckled and opened the ice cream package, grabbing one of the spoons so he could start filling the bowls for them. "I'm not going to act like I'm interested, you know? I'm not impolite, I'm just honest..."

"You're impolite."

Leaning back in the couch Sasori watched Deidara as he was preparing the ice cream for them. He didn't know why he had suddenly felt like ice cream, this time of the year... But Deidara had offered himself to go out and get it, and who was Sasori to stop him? The blonde spent a lot of time by himself lately... He seemed kind of distant. But Sasori knew it would be better if he didn't ask. 3 years wasn't much, and Sasori understood if Deidara was going through a period where he'd have more flashbacks than usually. And he couldn't say that it was disappointing, still not having Deidara's full attention. Even if he was the person closest to his love now, he still wasn't the centre of his attention. A dead person was. As sad as it sounded, it was the truth. And besides, it was okay. This was way more than Sasori could have ever asked for. That Deidara would actually let him in this close. Everything was the way it used to be before Itachi stepped into the picture. It was just him... And Deidara.

Seeing a smile on Deidara's face made Sasori feel very warm inside. Lately he had been seeing those a lot. Even if Deidara didn't have the same energy as he used to have, a lot of it had returned. And seeing him happy was getting more common as time went.

"I'm not impolite! Come on, un, everyone should be like me!"

"If everyone were like you, I'd kill myself."

"Hey!" He glared a bit at the other, but couldn't exactly put up a serious angry face, since his smile was still there. "Now you're the one being impolite!"

"I'm just being honest..." The redhead smirked as he pulled his hair back with his fingers, only to have it fall back in place. "No?"

"No!" He didn't know how Sasori did it. How did he do everything so perfectly? How could he always look so perfect? Always say the perfect things, do things the perfect way? "There's a difference between being mean and honest, hmm!" He put a spoon in one of the bowls and picked it up from the table. "You just said something you didn't mean, un. So you were just being mean." He stared at the ice cream for a while.

Had he fallen in love with his best friend?

Was it possible that he was in love with the male who had been the most loyal person by his side since childhood? Someone who had been even more loyal, understanding and caring than the man he had been about to marry?

Had he forgot all about Itachi? Was it really that easy?

"And how can you be so sure I didn't mean it, hmm, Deidara? You're not inside of my mind, are you?"

Had Deidara actually allowed someone else to take Itachi's role? How could he do that? How could he allow that? Did Itachi really mean nothing to him? He felt terrible... He felt terrible knowing a big part of him just wanted to give in and just try... Try a kiss, see if Sasori would respond to his feelings. Would he hold him? Would he kiss him? Would he love him?

The way Itachi used to?

Or, no, not the way Itachi's used to... Would he love him eternally?

Would they love each other?

About to hand the bowl of ice-cream to the redheaded man, Deidara suddenly felt how his body weakened and his vision blurred. It didn't take long for him to realize he was crying, not being able to hold in a few silent sobs. Sasori who was really surprised by Deidara turning so sad all of a sudden, grabbed the bowl from him and put it back on the table, before moving closer to the other and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Deidara! Deidara, of course I didn't mean it, Deidara, I was just joking with you," he gave a troubled frown when the said man still didn't look up at him, "I'm sorry, Deidara, I didn't mean to be harsh..."

He wasn't harsh... He was himself. Sasori had been himself through all of this, and it was too comforting for Deidara to handle. He adored him, he adored the way he did things. He took care of him in a way no one else could. His mere existence fulfilled the purpose of Deidara's.

"Hey, Dei, look at me, it's okay-" Sasori didn't get the chance to say anything before his life suddenly ended. The second he had felt their lips crash together, his life had ended. That's how fast it had all went by. It was over too fast. It felt like it never happened. 'What just happened...' Looking at the other male who had just kissed him, out of the blue, he tried to remember to breathe.

Deidara just kissed him.

"I think I've fallen in love with you..." Deidara mumbled, opening his blue eyes and finally looking at Sasori. "What am I doing...?"

Hearing that didn't help when Sasori was already having a hard time trying not to faint. Did he really just say that? What, was Deidara trying to say he had feelings for him? Deidara, the REAL Deidara? The one Sasori had loved for... Since he could remember? The one whom he had always been the third wheel around? "U-uh... Deidara... You are... What..."

"I'm terrible... As soon as I... Get over him, I just... I don't want you to be a replacement..."

"... I would never be a replacement for anyone Deidara..." Furrowing his brows slightly, Sasori tried to collect himself and take the moment seriously, even if he was is both shock and disbelief after what just happened. This was his chance to get those heavy feelings out, and he was going to let Deidara hear how he felt. "I'm not going to accept that role. I'll always be with you, Deidara, but never as your 'replacement for Itachi'. I'll be Sasori, always myself. No matter what my feelings are for you, I'll stay exactly where I am in your life. My role won't change. I'm your best friend. And you..." Sighing a bit, he put a small kiss on Deidara's cheek, before embracing him. "You'll always have the same role in my life as well. The love of my life."

Deidara's eyes widened in surprise, not knowing what to say or do. He couldn't stop the tears either, and he just felt confused... And happy. As always, whatever Sasori said, was exactly what he wanted to hear.

The 'love of my life' part was slightly unexpected though...

His arms moved up to hug the other back as he closed his eyes. His grip tightening around the other. He felt like it was the first time he was actually hugging him. The hug felt real, it felt warm, it felt like he was accepting all the comfort Sasori was ready to give him. Without being scared... Because Sasori was right; He'd never replace anyone. He'd be where he always had been, and he'd always stay there. He could actually count on him...

"Danna..."

"If loving me doesn't feel right, I don't need you to do it, Deidara. I've managed this long without it, and you know what? It's okay, because as long as I can just see you, hear you... As long as you keep letting me live in reality, I'm fully content." A slightly sad smile formed on his lips as he realized he was still not giving into the temptation of just telling the other how much he'd love it if Dedara's returned his love. How reality was okay, but living in a dream would be twice – no – thrice as good.

But he couldn't. He hadn't waited this long for some sort of forced love from Deidara's side. What he wanted was- "Genuinely, I love you, Sasori. And it feels right, it feels amazing... I'm just... I've been trying to take it in. I just didn't know when to tell you."

Leaning back from the hug, Sasori looked at the other for a while. He had never really seen him this close up... He looked determined, even if his voice was shaky. That was fully understandable though... What was not understandable was Deidara's words. What was he even saying? Sasori had to be dreaming. So he decided to do what he would have done in a dream. Kiss him.

Their lips broke, only to kiss again. Repeating the actions, the kisses got longer. Until Sasori was lying down on the couch with Deidara above him. The ice-cream had melted by now, and so had Sasori's brain. It was happening too fast, and he didn't know what to do with all these feelings, all the happiness.

Until Deidara stopped. He looked down at him, smiled, and sighed before lying down on top of the other. Snuggling close, he took a deep breath. And Sasori could only put his arms around him, still in a shocked state. But in a very good shocked state...

So he guessed all these years of not being selfish, and all these years of looking after someone who had seemed to never register his existence, had paid off. Not that Sasori had been waiting for this; This had become an impossible situation in his mind after Deidara and Itachi got engaged. But it happened. And he guessed that was okay, because even if this all wasn't realistic, it still made sense. Because Sasori was no longer stuck in reality, was he?

Slowly but surely, life became a dream. An eternal one, Deidara knew. He didn't have to try to make sure Sasori would stay the same. Nothing changed. And he knew nothing would ever change; It was perfect like this, and it would always be like this. It would always be perfect like this.

I really have no excuses for taking so long, I just hope you guys enjoyed this fanfiction! This kind of fluff isn't exactly what I do best, but I still hope you're happy with the request, Deiama4ever!

Review, and if any of you guys have any requests of fanfic ideas, feel free to PM me!

And make sure to check out my new sasodei fanfic "Want You Gone!"

Have a great day/night, love Pany~