I've had this idea for this fic for a LOOONG time, and finally I decided to actually type it up and post it! :) Just so you guys know, for the next two weeks or so, I'll be visiting my cousins, so I probably won't be on fan fiction a whole lot. Just wanted you guys to know, in case you PM me or something and I don't respond. I don't want you guys to think I died or something… ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or the song Tik Tok!
The Jackson house was crazy.
Actually, chaotic was more of the word. Tables were turned upside down, things were shattering, and screams and yells were heard all over as Percy, Leo, Travis, Frank, and Jason raced around the house, trying to prevent all the destruction they possibly could.
Basically, they were epically failing at that.
Leo Valdez collapsed on the couch, while his daughter Esperanza jumped on the coffee table, squirting everything with apple juice from her water gun. "What are we going to do?" Leo asked miserably.
"I know, right," Travis replied from the dining room, where he was failing to break up a fight between his daughter, Lucille, and Percy's daughter, Madison. Apparently, Lucy had stolen Madison's favorite sparkly cherry lip gloss, which was some sort of major crime in the world of girls.
"SPRINKLES!" screamed Nathan, Jason's four year old son.
"Nate! We do not throw sprinkles!"
"SPRI-"
Rrrrip!
"Dennis! No eating books! And Samantha! We do not pee in the sink!" Frank scolded.
"Silenaohmygodsyourmotherisgoingtokillyou! Who do you think you are, young lady?!" Percy exclaimed while frantically trying to clean up the Coke his four year old daughter, Silena, spilled on Annabeth's blue prints. Percy was toast if Annabeth found out.
"Esper-STOP SHOOTING ME WITH APPLE JUICE!"
"Yer going down, bro," Esperanza growled as she shot him in the balls with apple juice. Leo groaned.
"She stole my lipgloss!" exclaimed Madison.
"Not my fault! Finders, keepers, losers, weepers!" Lucille chanted.
"Lucille, give back the lip gloss," Travis said, trying to keep the peace. "Why don't you-"
"Hey Dad, look at me!" Lucille's twin, Amanda, was standing on top of the banister railing with a "parachute" made of towels strapped to her. Even Travis had never done something that stupid.
"Mandie, don't move! I'm coming to get you, okay!" Travis called.
"SPRINKLES!"
"Shoot 'em all!"
"Dennis! Look what you've done!"
"SPRINKLEEEEEESSS!"
Percy could barely think above all the racket. At the moment, he was trying to pry his seven year old son. Charlie, off of the TV.
"I'm pretending to be a bird," Charlie insisted, "Birds like to perch on things."
"But Charlie, you're a human," Percy said, grabbing him from the waist and trying to haul him off. Eventually, after numerous kicks and punches thrown at him, Percy gave up and collapsed to the floor.
This was pathetic. Here they were, five grown men, demigods, who had braved worse than this, falling to their knees because of nine measly kids. The kids were never like this when their moms were home. Am I a bad parent? Percy thought worriedly. He didn't think he was. He tried to be the best he could be. He took his kids to Sea World every summer, chaperoned every school field trip he could, took them to the movies all the time…and yet he couldn't keep them under control for one afternoon.
This is it, Percy thought, we need to think of a way to get them under control. And that's when he had an idea. A good idea. An idea that was sure to succeed.
Despite all the craziness, Percy picked his way over upturned chairs, scattered possessions, and sprinkles until he found each dude. Carefully, he ushered them into the master bathroom, the one place where the kids WEREN'T.
"This is torture," Leo said, awkwardly holding his hand near his crotch.
"Me too," Travis agreed, and climbed up onto the toilet seat. "Well, if we're going to be staking out here, I might as well be Ruler of the Bathroom or something."
"This is a big mistake," Frank said miserable, turning away from Travis. "We should've never said we would watch them while our wives went out."
"I agree," Jason said.
"Listen gu-"
"HEY! How come he gets to be ruler of the bathroom?!" Leo demanded.
"'Cause I'm just that much awesomer, Valdez! But don't worry, I'll make you Chief of the Bathtub. That's pretty awesome, you know." Then Travis added, "But not as awesome as being Ruler of the Bathroom."
"Fine," Leo muttered, making his way across the bathroom tiles and plopping down in the tub. "Hey guys! Look, I'm Kesha! Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy/Grab my glasses-"
"Okay, okay!" Jason exclaimed, laughing at Leo's bad impression. Then his face turned serious. "Guys, Percy brought us up here for a reason. What is it Percy?"
"It's a zoo downstairs," Percy said, "But I have this idea to get the kids to calm down."
All eyes turned expectantly to Percy.
"We'll tell them a story!" Percy said, grinning at his ingenious idea.
Leo snorted from the bathtub. "You've got to be kidding me! You know they can barely sit still for five minutes. How'll we get them to sit still during a whole story?"
"Percy has a point though," Frank pointed out, "Samantha and Dennis do calm down a little when Hazel tells them a story." Travis and Jason nodded in agreement.
"So it's agreed-we'll tell the kids a story to calm them down?" Jason asked.
"Yup," Percy said as he opened the bathroom door and the guys filed out. "Get out of the tub, Kesha. We've got some storytelling to do."
"OKAY KIDS, WE'RE GOING TO TELL YOU A STORY!" Percy bellowed as the five of them reached the bottom step. At the word 'story', nine pairs of eyes looked up at them. For once the house was silent.
"Come to the living room and we'll tell it to you," Percy said. Miraculously, all the kids came to the living room, even Madison, Lucy, and Amanda, the older ones. Percy felt a tinge of pride that his plan had worked. I should win a World's Best Man Babysitter/Dad Award, thought Percy.
"All right," Percy said, once the kids were seated on the carpet. He took a deep breath, and began the story, praying that this would work, "So once up-"
"Um, no offense, Percy, but I should really tell the story. I'm like the Boss at storytelling," Travis cut in. Percy saw Lucy roll her eyes, but he let Travis tell the story anyway. It didn't matter who told the story, as long as the kids just calmed down and shut up.
"Okay. So once upon a time there was this hot chick who was a princess and this sexy dude who was a prince and-"
"Ugh! Dad! No!" Lucy exclaimed.
"Yeah," Amanda added. "We want to hear something different."
"Sprinkles!" Nate said quietly. Jason glared at him.
Madison nodded, agreeing with what the twins had said. She turned her head towards Percy. "I want to hear the story of how you met mom."
Okay! That's the Prologue of How I Met Your Mother:) Just in case you didn't catch the names of their children (it was pretty chaotic back there), here they are:
Percy and Annabeth: Charlie (the one who pretends to be a bird), Silena (the Coke spilling kid), and Madison (the girl who freaks out when her lip gloss gets stolen).
Leo and Reyna: Esperanza (violent one)
Jason and Piper: Nate (SPRINKLES!)
Travis and Katie: Lucille (mischievous thief) and Amanda (dumb daredevil)
Frank and Hazel: Samantha (pees in the sink), Dennis (eats books).
Well, they're one interesting bunch! Anyway, we all know that Percy will be the first to tell the story of how he met Annabeth (Percabeth!), but which dude do you want to tell the story of how they met their wife next? Tell me in a review!
Also, since they're dudes and they want to seem a whole lot manlier than they actually are, the story might vary a little from how they actually met in the books…:)
Wow, this is a LOOONG author's note! Anyway, have an AWESOME day, and remember to review! :DDDD