Author's Note: Characters seem a little OOC to me because I've spent so much time with the snarky badasses of BL1, but I really wanted to incorporate the personality and feel of the newest BL2 DLC, in which Lilith's past as a D&D nerd was revealed and my crush on her exploded into full on "I LOVE THIS WOMAN". There is a possibility that this will be a one-shot, but I really doubt it. Reviews much appreciated. 3

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Mordecai knew he was only making himself feel worse. Staring at the woman…it wasn't going to help. He'd always prided himself on his ability to attract women. Most of it was effortless- his naturally aloof manner and the mystery of his mostly-masked face went a long way, and he'd developed a certain tone of voice that usually had his desired target practically falling at his feet. It was a gift he'd rarely used on anyone he cared about, but it had never failed until now.

He sighed deeply. He didn't regret coming to Pandora, but the endless bounties and the unexpected camaraderie that had developed between the four newest Vault Hunters couldn't make up for the fact that he felt like a damned lovesick puppy. No one knew save for his avian friend, but it was humiliating all the same.

"I don't know, Blood. How did this happen?" he sighed.

Bloodwing was sneaking strips of the carcass his master was supposed to be skinning and dressing. When the man had abandoned his task to stare off towards their traveling companions, the bird hadn't wasted any time. He couldn't answer anyway, save for an almost guilty look as he hastily tossed back his wickedly sharp beak to finish the stolen treat. He needn't have bothered; the Master hadn't even glanced his way.

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It hadn't happened right away, these things never did. He had known Lilith for weeks by that time, and they had become close friends. They were alike in many ways, both in this for riches and the thrill of a good fight, a good kill. The sniper and the siren both had a disconcerting habit of bursting into gleeful laughter when they made enemies more or less explode with the force of their bullets, a habit that led Roland and Brick to pair up with each other more often than not when the little group separated, just to avoid the nightmares.

He'd found her beautiful right away, but that didn't mean anything. Lots of women were attractive. Granted, not all of them could kill dozens of people in a minute, or make acid come out of their hands, or even shake off showers of blood as if it were just water, but she wasn't really so different.

Through their friendship, Mordecai got to see a side of Lilith that the other two didn't, and he had to admit that was probably the beginning of his undoing. They didn't know she liked to read, or that she'd been an awkward child. The fact that she loved flowers almost as much as she loved setting things on fire wasn't one Brick and Roland were privy to. These things weren't secrets, but rather topics that came up casually while walking or looting.

In the same vein, Lilith knew that he was colorblind, and how Bloodwing had come into his life. Somehow his fondness for costume dramas had come up, but with a laugh she promised to keep that to herself. Mordecai usually preferred to work alone, but they made a good team. More often than not lately, they didn't even have to speak or plan but just fell seamlessly into an unstoppable force of destruction.

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Mordecai fell even deeper into his thoughts. He didn't notice Bloodwing continuing to steal meat, or that the fire at the temporary camp was ready for the main course he was supposed to be preparing. He didn't even notice Brick walking in his direction as the giant man yelled, "Hey skinny! Where's the grub?"

.

One day they had become separated for a while, hunting spiderants in the Rust Commons. Mordecai thought nothing of it, trusting that the siren could keep herself out of trouble. He was in a perfect position, landing shot after shot on the soft spots of the giant bugs, when he heard a scream. It was unmistakably Lilith. Time stood still for a moment before he'd had the presence of mind to ECHO her.

"Lil? You okay?"

She didn't answer.

"Lil, seriously. What the fuck?" he had scrambled down from his perch and sent Bloodwing ahead to look for her.

"Lilith, damn it! Answer me!"

An impressive ball of fire appeared in the middle of the last few spiderants, killing them instantly.

"Mordy, Mordy, look at this! This is the most amazing thing ever!"

Lilith screamed again, and now that she was closer it was obviously triumphant rather than a signal of trouble. The maniacal grin on her face had been the biggest tipoff. He had glared at her, feeling sudden rage bubbling up inside of him.

"Damn you, you insane bitch! Why the hell didn't you answer me? I thought something had happened to you!"

"Augh, whatever. Shut up," Lilith dismissed him, eyes dancing. "Do you not see this?"

"Wha- oh. Oh, shit, look at that."

Giant flaming wings sprouted from the woman's back, casting a flickering light in the dimness of the tall canyon they were in. Her body was outlined starkly, every curve highlighted and licked with flame. Her tattoos glowed and suddenly Mordecai had realized that his friend was truly one of the powerful, incredible Sirens that legend spoke of.

He stood captivated, anger completely forgotten. He'd had the distinct feeling that he should be saying something, but his mouth was dry. All he could do was stare in awe. Lilith solved his problem.

"Unce unce unce unce oooh, check me out!" she danced, for whatever ridiculous reason choosing to imitate a Claptrap unit. "Unce unce unce unce oh come on, get down!"

She grabbed his hand, forcing him to twirl as she hopped like the little robots.

"Mordy, check me out! I'm dancin'! I'm dancin'!"

The wings had begun to fade, but the glee in her eyes had not.

"Do you have any idea how many things I can set on fire with my body now? This is the coolest thing I have ever done!"

"Right. True. But next time you discover one of your freaky powers can you not scare the shit out of me?" Mordecai managed.

"Aww, I didn't know you cared!" she had teased, jubilantly kissing him on the cheek and bumping him with her shoulder.

Mordecai cared, all right. In those moments he'd realized how precious and rare a jewel she was, and that he would die to protect her. For the first time in his life, Mordecai was truly in love.

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"Hey!" Brick squatted, snapping meaty fingers in the hunter's face. "Hey man, come on! We're starving, what's the holdup?"

Mordecai startled, causing a very full Bloodwing to fly a few feet away while screeching in protest.

"What?" he blinked and recovered quickly, "Gimme a break, beefcake. I've only been over here for 10 minutes or somethin'. I was trying to decide if keeping the skin was worth the extra couple bucks it'd bring in."

"No." Brick stated flatly. "Last time you did that, we had to smell the damn thing for a week before you found a buyer."

"Hmm." Mordecai grumbled.

Mordecai had had plenty of practice making meals from carcasses, and the process only took a minute or two. Brick hauled the animal over his shoulder and all but sprinted to the fire, where he and Roland affixed it to a spit some bandits had left behind. The hunter took his time ambling over to the camp, heading for the runner where he was sure he would find something to clean off the worst of the gore.

As he lifted the compartment lid, he heard Lilith approaching from behind him. Her step was unmistakable, at least to the observant hunter.

"Ew, no. You're gross, don't go in there!"

He turned to eyeball the woman. "You're not serious. Have you looked at yourself lately?"

"Excuse me," she drew herself up, "I may be dirty but I am not getting blood everywhere, unlike someone I know."

"What's the difference? Don't tell me you're gettin' all fussy on me now."

"The difference is that my new Maliwan catalogue is in there and I haven't gotten to look at it yet. Last time I had one Brick used it for toilet paper, the time before that Roland used it to start the fire, and I am not having you get it all bloody!"

"Spoiler alert," Mordecai smirked at her, "the new Hellfire is out."

"It is?" her whole face lit up, and Mordecai's heart skipped a beat.

"Yeah, I noticed when I was rippin' it up to cushion my boots."

"You what?" Lilith shrieked.

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Over by the fire Roland shook his head. Brick rolled his eyes.

"Those two just never quit, do they?" Roland commented.

"Nope," Brick replied, never taking his eyes off of the roasting meat.

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"Whoa there, chica! I take it back, okay? I never touched it, I know better."

Lilith leaned into the compartment and found her prize safely stowed in the corner where she'd stashed it. She rummaged for a moment and came up with a mostly clean rag and a container of water.

"Here, hold still," she told her gore covered friend and splashed his arms with the water.

"Uh, don't we need that?"

"Nah, it's just the piss I've been saving up for a moment like this."

"Please tell me you're kidding."

She sighed. "You're no fun. Yes, I'm kidding and no, we don't need it. Not for drinking- how the hell did you think I get all the gunk off of me?" she paused and added, "The worst of it, anyway."

He shrugged and she nodded condescendingly at him. She put the water down and grabbed the rag. She began to rub the blood from Mordecai's arms, businesslike but not rough. It crossed his mind to protest but he just stood there with an impatient look on his face. Inside, he reveled at the contact. He longed to put his slightly less bloody arms around her, to feel her body against his and tell her how he really felt.

"All right, good enough," Lilith announced. "I pronounce you marginally less disgusting."

"Quite an honor, to be sure."

"Damn straight," she replied, and walked toward the fire. "You coming or what?"

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Dinner was the same as always. Brick and Roland polished off most of it, Mordecai ate just enough to keep from dying- or so Brick said- and Lilith bitched about needing salt. For once they were in an abandoned bandit camp with rough shacks enough for each vault hunter to have their own space, and Mordecai for one was looking forward to the solitude. As he headed toward the dwelling he had chosen he spotted Brick hauling a pile of the girly mags he collected obsessively out of a runner. Okay, so maybe he wasn't the only one wanting some private time.

As he spread out his meager bedroll and saw to Bloodwing's roost, Mordecai wondered if he'd actually be able to sleep. Sleeping in the bright sun of Pandora was always a challenge except on the most grueling of days, which this had not been. He removed everything but his shirt and pants, climbing on top of the thin blanket that in theory cushioned him from the ground. Tomorrow they would return to New Haven and presumably pick up some new missions, and the night cycle would finally roll around.

As he lay trying to will sleep to come, his thoughts turned as always to Lilith. He enjoyed every moment he could spend with her, but she treated him like a friend- or worse, like a brother. He had tried to work his charm on the woman, but she remained oblivious to the point that he wondered if she was doing it on purpose.

"Oh, Lilith, damn it." He thought. He'd thought his teenage years were bad, fraught as they were with awkward moments and dismal failures. This was somehow worse. Of course, as a teenager he'd had more alone time.

He smiled. That was one way to get to sleep, and not taking advantage of the opportunity seemed like a waste. His thoughts turned to Lilith once again, but this time emotional quandaries were the last thing on his mind.

She's sitting next to me and I put my arms around her. She smiles at me and we kiss. Her lips are so soft, and she tastes of strawberries. Her tongue is like silk and she tangles her hand in my hair. She moans into my mouth and breaks away. I can see how hard her nipples are through her shirt. She takes it off and flings it so she can unzip her pants.

Mordecai unzipped his own pants and took his mostly hard cock in his hand. Yes, that was it.

Her pants are off and she's saying, "I want you, Mordy. I've always wanted you." I take one of her nipples in my mouth and swirl my tongue around it. She moans and puts my hand in her crotch. "No more, I can't wait. I need you now!" she groans, and I can feel how wet she is.

His cock was fully hard and he stroked it slowly, immersed in his improbable fantasy and wanting to make it last.

I part her thighs so that I can get to the soft skin there, running my hands over it and making her shiver. I kiss my way up her thigh and I'm at her center and I can smell her and it's so good, so good. I taste her and she moans, begging me to give her more.

His hand worked faster, thoughts beginning to jumble.

I'm licking her and I have my fingers inside of her and she's so tight and wet. "Fuck me, Mordecai! I want you inside me now!" and I push into her and she's calling my name, "Mordy! Mordy!"

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"Mordy! Mordecai, come on, I know you're not sleeping yet."

Mordecai snapped back to reality in a panic, cock in hand, precome glistening at the tip.

"Lil? What the hell do you want?"

He painfully stuffed himself back into his pants and struggled with the zipper, which stuck as zippers are wont to do in such circumstances. He flipped over onto his stomach, wincing at the hardness of the ground and pillowing his head on his arms as if he'd been that way all along.

"I'm bored and everybody else is asleep. Can I come in?"

"I was asleep too, thanks for asking."

"No you weren't."

Mordecai froze, not breathing. Had he been making noise? He couldn't remember.

"I know you have trouble sleeping during the day, too. So will you keep me company or what?"

He breathed again, relief flooding his body like a drug.

"For fuck's sake, woman. Don't you have a book or somethin'? Or your precious catalog?"

"Screw you, I'm coming in." Lilith parted the flap and stepped inside, flooding the small building with light.

"I finished my book three days ago and I thought looking at the catalog would be more fun with you. They've got some great revolvers this season."

"Satisfaction abounds," Mordecai said with no small amount of venom.

She laughed and sprawled out next to him on the dirt, tossing down the glossy magazine and propping her head up by the elbows. She

playfully nudged the prone hunter.

"See, isn't it nice having a friend to shop with? It's like being a kid again having a sleepover!"

Mordecai made a strangling noise and covered his face with his hands.

Note: Sexual content intentionally ridiculous. In my head, his is what men think about whilst jacking- a mixture of bad porno and self-centric fantasy. Proofreading husband concurred.