Idk if anyone reads this but oh well. Here's another chapter and I'm super sorry for leaving you guys hanging but, I have this and the next chapter written so that will put us at 48. After that there are only TWO MORE CHAPTERS(!) and this story will be finished.

Also, I would like to tell everyone that I've been watching lots of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix so sorry if the convos between Eli, Clare, and the doctors sound like I'm trying to be super medical. I am but I actually know nothing about anything when it comes to medicine so hopefully this makes sense. If it doesn't, leave it in a review and I'll explain what I read off of WebMd.

Sorry I'm shitty at updating but hopefully this intenseness makes up for it!

Enjoy!

Whatever. It. Takes.

~JuliaGoldsworthy

"Selfish, taking what I want and call it mine
I'm helpless, clinging to a little bit of spine
They rush me, telling me I'm running out of time
They shush me, walking me across a fragile line."

-Hold Me Down.

-Halsey

I ran down the hall and right into a nurse who had been snacking on some chips in the hallway.

"Can I help you?" she asked annoyed.

"It's my fiance`. She's bleeding. She's pregnant and she's bleeding." I said gasping for air. It took me awhile to find some people.

"Hm, did she page a nurse?" she asked, not moving.

"What?" I asked. "Um, yeah she did but no one came. We need help!"

"I'm sure someone is on their way." she said, putting another chip in her mouth.

I was astounded. "Can you please just come help her?"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, let's go."

"She's this way." I ran and the nurse followed behind me.

I entered the room and noticed CeCe was standing over Clare.

"Mom?" I asked. "How'd you get here?'

"Clare called me. I was sleeping in the car in the parking lot in case something went wrong."

Her hands were on either side of Clare's face. "Clare, sweetie stay awake." CeCe said loudly.

Clare was dozing. "Eli," she breathed slowly.

"I'm here, Clare. Just stay awake." I held her hand and she was freezing.

Finally, the nurse who was trailing behind me made her way into the room.

"Okay," she said. "What's going on?'

"She's bleeding." I said.

"Badly." My mom added.

I looked down at the red sheets and remembered that they had been pale blue before we slept in them. I covered my mouth, trying not to look shocked.

The nurse listened to her heartbeat. "Her heartbeat is erratic. There's no real rhythm."

She then leaned down to check Clare's pulse. When they touched the nurse gasped. "She's freezing. She's probably been bleeding for hours."

"And she's still bleeding." CeCe said. She was pushing Clare's hair away from her face and trying to talk to keep her awake.

"Well, I don't know what to do here?" the nurse said. "Have you spoken to a doctor?"

"No, I found you first." I said. "Look, she and the baby were diagnosed with preeclampsia earlier today. She had a placental abruption last night and it's probably worse now. That's probably why she's bleeding so much. Now can you do something?"

"Clare isn't my patient. I don't know what you want me to do."

"I want you to help her. You're a nurse! Page someone! Get a doctor in here! Do something!"

"I don't even know if what you're telling me is true. How am I supposed to treat her?"

"Because it is true." Dr. Williams said from behind me in the doorway. Dr. Greene was with her along with two other nurses.

They walked in the room and the first nurse walked out. "See, I told you someone was coming." she said with snark before she left.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Eli," CeCe said, grabbing my hand. "Clare needs you right now."

I rushed over to her and fell to my knees beside her bed. "Clare, Clare can you hear me?"

"Eli," she cried. "It hurts."

"What? What hurts?"

"The baby. It hurts."

"She's having contractions." one of the nurses yelled out.

"How far apart?" another said.

"It doesn't matter she can't deliver until we have this bleeding under control."

"Why not?" I asked. "I thought that was the plan if this happened again."

I was ignored as the doctors plugged her in to more machines.

Clare screamed out in pain and squeezed my hand. "ELI!"

"Clare, I'm here."

"Don't leave." she said.

"If we deliver now she'll loose too much blood."

Clare screamed again.

"Can't you give her something for the pain?" CeCe asked.

"I already have. I can't give her anymore."

I looked down and noticed that Clare's eyes closed. Her body looked empty.

"An epidural?" CeCe said.

"We can't risk moving her that much to inject it. The baby might be harmed."

"Heartbeat dropping." someone yelled.

"What!" I yelled.

"Someone get them out of here." Dr. Williams yelled.

"What? No I have to stay with her!" I yelled.

"Please, it's better if you don't see this."

"See what? What's going on?"

"Eli, come with me." CeCe said.

"What no! She's my wife, she's having our baby. Please, I need to stay!" I cried.

"Eli, get out of here!" Dr. Greene said.

"Eli!" CeCe yelled and grabbed me to pull me out of the room.

As I was pulled through the doorway I saw two nurses rolling in a defibrillator.

They were going to shock Clare's heart.

"Wait!" I yelled.

Just as I was about to go back into the room, the nurses slammed the door behind them. My chest hit the door as it closed.

I put my fists on the door but it was no use. I lowered my head and sobbed. I could heaR them from inside the room.

"Clear," a loud lurch sound occurred, Clare's body on the mattress. I cried harder, sinking to the ground.

"Eli," CeCe ran over to me and wrapped her arms around me. "Eli, she'll be fine. They'll be fine."

I could hear everything going on inside the room. "Nothing."

"No heartbeat?" a nurse said.

"Shock her again." I heard Dr. Greene say.

"What about the baby?" someone else said.

"The baby's in distress. It knows something is wrong. Clare has to be stabilized."

"Clear!" another lurch.

"Clare!" I cried.

"Shh, baby boy, she's strong. They're both strong." I could tell she was crying to.

"Still nothing." a nurse said.

"One more time people! Let's move!" Dr. Greene yelled.

"This has to be done now. The baby-"

"Clear!"

"They're dying!" I yelled.

"Shh, Eli." CeCe pulled my head to her chest. "Shh, don't listen to it. Don't listen to it."

My left ear was on her shoulder and my right ear was covered by her hand. I closed my eyes. I felt so weak.

I don't know how much time passed. Eventually CeCe left to make some calls to my dad and Jake and everyone else. I stayed outside the door for what felt like forever.

Finally, something hit me in the face. Literally.

I looked up to see Dr. Williams, she wore a paper mask over her mouth.

I scrambled to my feet. "Dr. Williams." I said. "Is Clare okay? Is the baby okay? Did she have the baby?'

"Eli," she said quietly. "Things are complicated. Clare's pregnancy is very, very high risk."

I paused. "And?'

"Clare is stable. The baby is stable. But, there are certain things that need to happen to make sure they both make it through the delivery."

"Is it a possibility that they won't?" I asked.

"I can explain everything to you and Clare once we enter the room. Your mom is in there. She's been helping Clare." Dr. Williams said. "Clare seems very relaxed around her." she smiled. "You can follow me."

I started to follow her in the room but she stopped. "Oh, I almost forgot. You'll have to put those on."

I finally looked at what had hit me in the face. She had thrown a full set of paper scrubs at me. "What why?"

"Well, Eli, depending on Clare's vitals we should be able to deliver within the hour. We want to be able to go straight into delivery without hesitation. Changing now will save us time later."

I looked down at the scrubs. I nodded.

It was game time. This is what we had been waiting for all this time. I had to step up to the plate.

I looked at Dr. Williams. "I'll go change."

When I walked into the room I noticed it was very warm. I supposed they were trying to keep Clare's temperature up like they had been the night before.

She was lying on the hospital bed, tubes and needles hooked up to her arms and veins. Bags of fluid hung next to her and machines beeped around us.

She wore paper scrubs similar to mine.

There was also a tube in her mouth that seemed to be oxygen. "Is this helping her breathe? Does she need help breathing?" I asked.

"Yes," Dr. Williams said. "Now she does."

"Why?"

"It's what happened when the baby went into distress. There was kicking, flailing, too much movement. Anyways, the baby kicked on of Clare's ribs and broke it. It's pressing on her lung right now. While there's no risk of it puncturing her lung, the depression makes it difficult for her to breathe." Dr. Greene, who joined us, explained.

"Is the baby breathing okay?" I asked.

"Yes, but it would be best for us to get the baby out soon." Dr. Williams said.

"Eli," I heard from beside me. I felt cold fingers brush mine. I turned to see that Clare was awake.

"Clare," I said, crouching beside her bed.

I saw her take in everything that she was hooked up to. The tubes, the wires, the bags. She looked scared.

She put a hand on my face and I saw tears run down her cheeks. "Clare, please don't cry." I said for fear that I might start.

"The baby?" she asked, although it came out jumbled because of the oxygen.

Dr. Williams nodded. "The baby had a lot of trouble this morning."

"And?" I asked. "What does that mean?"

"We have to wait." she said.

"For what?" Clare asked.

"To deliver."

I was so confused. "Can-can you explain this to me? Please?" I normally could follow what the doctors were saying but I was so tired.

"We're balancing right now." she said. "There was obviously more bleeding last night and into the morning which means the abruption worsened. The baby has very limited oxygen and nutrients right now."

"And I thought I would deliver if that happened?" Clare said.

"Well, we did too." Dr. Greene said. "Obviously, that didn't happen."

"But the baby is worse? Why not? Isn't there-"

"There's a lot of danger right now." Dr. Williams said, almost sounding stressed. "Clare, your pregnancy is very high risk. The baby, I can promise, will be born soon."

"But why not now?" I asked.

"Because Clare is too weak." she said, she told me fast.

Clare looked at Dr. Williams and I could tell she was trying to muster any strength she had left. "What do you mean?"

"After losing so much blood, after having to shock your heart so many times-" she sighed.

"You shocked my heart?" Clare asked. "I flatlined?"

"It would have been best for the baby to deliver last night as soon as we saw there was more bleeding. However, your heart was too weak and we didn't know if you would make it through." she had lost some of her doctor, calming voice. She was tired too.

"You're here, Clare, that's what matters." I said.

"You suffered a lot. You need time to heal from what happened. You need to get stronger." Dr. Williams said.

"But she's doing well now?" I asked.

"She is." she looked at me like she wasn't saying everything.

I was trying to piece things together. "But the baby." I said. "The longer the baby stays in there, with the abruption-"

"The more dangerous it is for the baby." Clare finished.

"And if we deliver too soon." I said.

"Then it's dangerous for Clare." Dr. Williams finished.

"We're balancing." I said. "So what're we going to do?"

"The baby is going to be okay." I grabbed her hands.

"You're going to deliver soon." Dr. Williams said. "How are you feeling now?" She asked.

Clare started to cry again. "Worried."

"Don't worry, Clare." Dr. Greene said. "Everything is going to be fine."

"Why are you worried?" Dr. Williams asked.

"I'm supposed to deliver?" she said, pushing the oxygen out of her mouth with her tongue. "How? I can barely breathe, I can't stop bleeding, and I can't feel anything past my chest."

"She can't feel anything?" I asked.

"We gave Clare a spinal for the pain she was going through. The numbness let us stop the bleeding more easily this time."

"But I'm supposed to deliver? How soon?" Clare asked.

"Hopefully, withing the hour. We just want to make sure that your temperature goes up bit, that yours and the baby's heartbeart is strong, and that you're in a relaxed state of mind before you have this baby."

"Relaxed?" she said, as the machine beeping with her heart sped up. "I'm having a baby! How could I be relaxed?" she yelled before she started to sob. "My baby is dying."

"No, it's not." Dr. Williams said, sternly. "But, it's fighting to survive." she said.

"Then let's deliver now." she said. "If it's best for the baby. I'll make it through."

"Clare, we don't know that yet." Dr. Greene said.

"I'll stay awake for the delivery. You can monitor me the whole time. I'll be fine."

"Clare, your heart isn't strong enough." I said.

"It doesn't matter about me. My baby is hurting. He needs to come out."

"Your baby," Dr. Williams said, reminding us we didn't know the sex yet. "Needs you to get stronger."

"No, he can't breathe, he's getting weak, he needs out. Now!" Clare yelled.

"Clare," CeCe's voice came from the bathroom in the corner of the room. "Stay calm. You've been asleep all this time and the baby has managed. It needs you to get stronger before it can be born." she walked over to us.

"But-"

"Clare," my mom said. "This baby is going to need a mom and if you deliver too soon, it won't have one." she said.

Clare nodded. "The baby will be okay." she said.

"We're going to do all we can." Dr. Williams said.

I didn't think that sounded too promising but I knew doctors weren't supposed to promise anything. I guess I just had to trust them.

"So, is there anything I can do while I wait?" Clare asked.

"Just breathe. Focus. And get yourself in the mindset that you're ready to deliver." Dr. Williams smiled. "We'll be back in ten to check on you."

The doctors left. "I'm going to go check on everyone in the lobby. They got here first things this morning."

"Is Alli here?" Clare asked. "And Jake and Darcy? I would love to see them."

CeCe nodded. "I'll tell them you're asking for them."

Clare nodded and CeCe left too.

It was just me and Clare. I didn't know what to say. I'm sure so much was going through her head. She was going to be a mom. I was going to be a dad. These were our final moments together before we became parents.

"Eli," she said. I was glad she decided to say something before I had to think of something.

"Yeah?" I asked. I grabbed her hand and tears streamed down her face.

"This baby has to be born. Eventually, whether my heart is ready or not." she said.

"Clare what're you saying?" I asked.

"If I don't make it. I need you to be strong for the baby."

"What? I-"

"If there's a chance that I won't make it out of the delivery room. If my heart is too weak to handle all the stress."

"You're having a c-section. You already can't feel anything."

"Yeah, but my body is still under stress. It's still me on the operating table." she said. "And if something happens to me, I need you to promise me that you'll be able to be a father to our child."

I started to cry. "I can't picture a life without you Clare." I said.

"I know." she put her cold forehead against mine. "But if I-"

"Don't say it." I said. "Don't." I had lost Julia before I ever met Clare and had never forgiven myself for that. If Clare died having my baby how was I supposed to live with myself?

"I need you to be strong." she said. "Promise me."

I nodded. "I promise." I said. "And you'll be strong too."

She nodded. "I promise."

Just then there was a noise behind us. "WOO!" a voice yelled. "My man, all scrubbed up and ready to have a baby." Jake walked in and put his arms around me. "You're lookin' good man. Why didn't you become a doctor?"

I laughed. "I don't know. I've never really thought about it. These scrubs do feel right though." I said, jokingly.

"Yeah, he does look pretty good in scrubs huh?" Clare said, tugging on my paper sleeve.

I smiled and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"How're you feeling?" Darcy asked. "Do you need anything? Can I get you anything?"

"No, Darce." she said. "I'm fine. I just want this next hour to be over with."

"You're telling me." Alli said, walking in with arms of shopping bags. She threw them to the floor then picked items out of them. "Please tell me you know the sex of the baby."

"It's a boy." Clare said.

"It's a girl." I said.

She glared at me. "Eli, I'm carrying this baby. Dont you think I would know if it was a boy or girl?" she asked.

"You know, I don't even think this is about the baby. I think this is about you wanting to be right like I always. You never want me to win a good bet." I said.

"So our bet is still on then?" she asked.

I held my hand out. "Shake on it?"

She smiled and her blue eyes seemed sincerely light hearted for the first time in a few days. "Shake on it." she said.

Then her eyes turned dark. Her body lurched and machines around us went wild.

"Clare." I said, holding her hands. "Clare,"

She screamed out in pain.

"Jake," I said.

"I got it." he said as he fled the room to get a nurse.

"What's happening?" Darcy asked.

"Contractions." I said. "Except they're worse now."

Clare screamed out again. "ELI!"

"I know Clare, breathe. Breathe. Focus."

"What's going on?' Dr. Williams asked as she walked in. She pressed her stethoscope to Clare's heart.

"Contractions." I said.

"How far apart?" she asked.

"They're supposed to stop?" I asked.

"Eli, I can't breathe. My lungs. I can't breathe." she gasped.

"You have to. You have to breathe Clare." I turned to Dr. Williams. "I thought you gave her an epidural. Why is she in so much pain?"

"It must've worn off. We gave it to her hours ago. Get a second round." she yelled at one of the nurses. "The baby is suffocating. There's not enough oxygen between the abruption and her depressed lung to keep it alive anymore. We have to deliver now."

"What's going on?" Darcy asked.

"Is the baby okay?" Jake said.

"Clare, are you alright?" Alli asked.

"I can't breathe!" Clare screamed. "The baby!" she yelled.

Dr Williams lifted up Clare's sheets and paper gown. "She's dilated. If we don't start the cesarean now then the baby will crown and Clare can't push if we give her an epidural because she can't feel anything."

"What're you saying?"

"I need you to make a decision Eli. I need you to make one for Clare because she can't right now." she said. "But right now I need everyone out of my way! I need someone to page Dr. Greene! I need Clare to get to O.R. 3."

There was a half second where everyone just stood in awe as everything settled in. Then the room changed. Now we had to act if we were going to save Clare and the baby.

As we rolled Clare's stretcher down the hallway I yelled over to Dr. Williams. "What're my options. What choice do I have to make?" I asked.

"We can wait to get to the O.R. And give Clare an epidural to do a c-section but there's a chance the baby will have crowned and if she can't push the baby can't come out. The baby would be a still born."

I didn't like the sound of that. "What's my other option?" I asked.

"Clare pushes and has this baby. But her heart might not make it through the whole thing. We can give her drugs to dull the pain but-"

"She might die?" I asked.

"Eli, you need to make a decision." Dr. Williams said. We got in an elevator to go up to the room where Clare would deliver.

"I can't. I can't-" Clare screamed out in pain and grabbed my hand.

"Eli!" she yelled.

Her grasp made me weak and I couldn't.

Dr. Williams look under Clare's gown again before exiting the elevator. "Eli, your baby is about to crown. I need a decision now!" she yelled.

"Eli," Clare gasped for air. "You promised."

"Clare, I can't live without you. I can't do any of this without you."

"YOU PROMISED ME!" She yelled out in anger and pain.

"Clare, you're not in a right state of mind to make this decision." Dr. Williams said. "Eli!" she yelled.

We stood in the O.R. And all the nurses looked at me. I didn't have any words.

"I have to push Eli." Clare gasped. "If you choose wrong and this baby dies I don't know if I can every forgive you Eli. I really don't know if I can." she cried and wailed.

"Clare, I can't live without you. I can't!" I yelled.

"I have to do this Eli. I have to push."

"Eli, make a decision now!" Dr. Williams yelled from the bottom of the operating table they'd lifted Clare onto.

"Eli, please." Clare said. "I have to have this baby."

I put my forehead onto hers. "I love you so much Clare." I kissed her salty skin where beads of sweat had begun to form.

"I love you too." she said.

Okay so Clare is officially HAVING THIS BABY! THIS MEANS WE WILL KNOW THE GENDER NEXT CHAPTER! THE NAME WILL BE REVEALED SOON TOO...

SO...THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT THE GENDER TO BE. I COULD STILL SWITCH THE GENDER AND NAME BEFORE POSTING SO IF YOU FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD HAVE A BOY OR GIRL MAKE YOU CASE! I'M EXCITED TO HEAR WHAT YOU GUYS HAVE TO SAY!

THANKS FOR READING! (sorry for the all caps, lol I'm just excited)

Whatever. It. Takes.

~JuliaGoldsworthy