characters: azula, katara, mai, ty lee, zuko.
notes: a little cuddly bedtime story never hurts anyone!

…

i don't know what to do; my heart is blistering
—sundrenched world

…

By the time Zuko lets his mother lead him back into the palace, he shakes with composure, the only tell-tale sign of distress being the swollen red of his eyes and flush of his cheeks. Ursa kneels down to him in the hallway, smooth hands cupping his face, and it is all of Zuko's resolve not to cry again. It makes him feel so weak, but something despairing and uncomfortable grips his chest at the thought of his cousin, gone.

"It will be okay, Zuko," she says, her own voice heavy with sorrow, and he reaches his own small hands up to touch her face sadly. His mother smiles and drags his palm away, pressing a kiss to his knuckles, before standing. "I must see to whatever business your father has with me. Please, please take care of the girls, all right?"

Zuko can't. Panic fills his chest in the place of his bereavement, and he wants to speak out against his mother's decision to leave him in charge, but he sees the sadness in her normally gleeful face, knows he has no other choice. He nods, squeezing his hand in hers before she lets go of him.

"I will," he says with a firm nod, "I promise." Ursa smiles, a ghostly expression that stretches her features into false mirrors, and she looks over his rattled appearance before she tips her head down and starts to walk away.

The courtyard is buzzing with heated conversations by the time Zuko ambles back and as he pushes his way through the crowds of people, he can hear snippets of theories floating down around him.

"Zuko," someone calls, a harsh whisper of a voice from nearby, and it takes him several glances around the courtyard to catch the dark eyes of his friend. The word settles oddly in his stomach as he walks over to her, slips behind the pillar to talk with her, but, "Are you okay?"

He doesn't mean to look at Mai the way he does, but he can see in the reflection of her eyes that she is the world and that this is a pivotal moment between the two of them. His eyes tremble with the threat of more tears, but there's something about Mai's avid gaze that keeps them pinned to the corners of his eyes.

His hand rests on the curve of her shoulder before he thinks about invading her space. "Thank you," is all he says at first, his words tender with a deep appreciation, "I will be, eventually."

Mai's hair sways around her face and it takes him a few moments to realize that she is fidgeting in place. Zuko takes a step back, lets his hand drop back down to his side. For several moments, he's unsure of what to say to her, if there is anything else he can say. And Mai seems to come back to her own senses the moment his hands are away from her, and she creases up into frowns and displeasure.

"I—I should go," he mumbles, "I'm supposed to be watching my sisters…and Ty Lee, come to think of it."

The last thing Zuko wants is to be babysitting, but if he is immersed with a task, with something important to do in relativity to the chaos around him, then maybe it will allow his mind to wander some. He clenches his fists for a moment, just to feel the blood pushing through his veins, and then he is relaxing, falling back.

"I'll come with you."

It's not a question, and Zuko doesn't attempt to dissect it any further. He simply turns, resumes weaving his way through the crowds with Mai behind him. He's grateful that no one pays him any attention, because it is when he is invisible amongst the throngs of people in the courtyard that a few more tears slip free, carefully smeared away from his cheeks as he presses on.

From behind him, Mai's fingers ghost along his back, and Zuko imagines it to be her way of comfort; he'd rather pretend there was nothing at all.

Azula, Katara, and Ty Lee are all crowded around a small table, picking at dishes and talking in hushed voices. It pains Zuko to imagine that this is taking some sort of toll on them, so his hands fall along their shoulders the moment he appears, Mai a shadow behind him.

"Zuko!" Katara and Ty Lee are simultaneous, turning into the sides of his body, their hands hooked around his waist, and for all the world, Azula looks completely disappointed.

For once, Zuko isn't sure whether or not it is aimed at him. But still, he drops his hands on their heads, careful not to dishevel the careful designs of their hairstyles. "Mom said it'd be okay if we all go back inside, just for now."

It isn't a suggestion, but Zuko knows how to handle the girls, and he knows that Azula will be the only one with opposition. At least he assumes so, and it is a measure of his surprise when he turns with both of them underneath his arms and Azula follows silently behind, in step with Mai's soundless feet.

A trickle of guilt falls between the cracks at the thought of Azula wanting to be comforted, wanting to fall underneath her brother's arms for a moment of weakness, and when Zuko turns his head over his shoulders to glance at her, the look on her face is indecipherable.

Zuko finds it much easier to slip through the crowds when he is flanked by more little children, and he walks slowly up the palace stairs to keep pace with Katara and Ty Lee. His mind is heavy with thoughts of his cousin, and the aura of distress that seems to be emanating from everyone else seems to be in accordance with his emotions. And maybe Katara and Ty Lee don't know what is going on, but he can't fool himself into thinking that Azula is clueless.

There is something about her expression that tells him she knows entirely too much.

Zuko approaches Azula's bedroom first, but Ty Lee and Katara dart ahead of him, crashing through the door and scrambling into the bed to sit beside one another. Mai follows, a pointed roll of her eyes, and Zuko turns to glance at Azula as she walks by.

"Hey," he throws his hand out in front of her, but she simply pushes it out of her way, glaring up at him.

"What's the problem, Zuko?"

He doesn't expect his face to flush the way it does, but he can't remember the last time he'd expressed a concern to Azula this way, and it turns him bashful. "I—Well—I just wanted to know if you were okay."

Azula blinks at him, golden eyes that narrow in an instant afterwards, and it's when an uncomfortable silence slides between the two of them. "I'm fine, idiot," she tips her head back and moves around him, heading into her room with a whisper, "people die all the time."

It isn't cruel of her to say, but part of him registers a sadness for her, that she has come to realize such a harsh truth through no means other than the influence of their father, if they are not his direct words. Zuko follows her into the bedroom, and he closes the door carefully while Azula hoists herself in the middle of the bed.

"What are we going to do now?" Ty Lee asks, leaning forward to stare at Zuko imploringly.

Ty Lee and Katara are giggling and nudging one another from their spot towards the back of the bed while Azula sits and twiddles her fingers together impatiently. Zuko hasn't really thought this far ahead, though he suspects it may not be as difficult as he thinks when the two girls interject.

"Let's read a book!" Katara suggests, scrambling and falling off of the edge of the bed with a thump. Ty Lee bursts out into an uncontrollable laugh as she slides off of the other edge of the bed, careful not to find herself in a similar predicament to Katara.

"We can sing a birthday song," Ty Lee twirls in a circle until she wobbles out of it and stands still to steady herself. "It is our birthday, after all." Her eyes are bright as she glances over at Azula, who inspects the short ends of her fingernails with disdain.

"I don't care what we do—as long as you keep me out of it."

Ty Lee frowns at Azula's response, but she can't keep the charade up for long; Katara grabs her hand and the two of them move, twirling through the small space in front of the princess' bed until they bump shoulders one too many times.

Zuko watches them with a slight exasperation and it isn't until Katara suggests more dancing that he speaks up. "Hey, Katara," he announces quickly, "why don't you pick a book for us to read?" Scattered in the corner of the room are all of the books Azula has already combed through; she is far too stubborn to ever ask Zuko's help in reading some of the more complex symbols within them, so many of them are covered in dust and creak at the seams when he opens them.

Katara picks a book out with a gold binding and black font set into a thick hide covering the tattered pages within. Zuko watches her rub her fingers along the indentations of the title before she deposits the book in his hands, her face cinched in deep thought.

"All right," he clears his throat, waiting a few moments for Ty Lee and Katara to resume their spots back on the bed, "this one is called The Myth of the Fallen God. You really want to read this?"

"I really like the cover, though," Katara says innocently from her space next to Ty Lee on the bed, and it's all the convincing that Zuko needs before he continues. Each page is rough against his fingertips, the words inked into the parchment with care despite the uneven surface.

"Long ago, before all were ruled by one, they were ruled by four. The Gods who ruled over the people were responsible for giving the gift of their elemental power to the people of their nation and the four of them were dedicated to maintaining harmony throughout all of the world..."

Zuko doesn't quite make it halfway through the mythology text before the girls fall asleep: Katara is sprawled beside him with her limbs spread in every direction, while Ty Lee's head is gently nestled against Zuko's forearm with her mouth completely agape. Shockingly, Azula is curled into a small section of her bed, underneath a small portion of her blankets. Her hair is loose and the ornament from her hair is pressed into her tiny fist.

He contemplates the sweetness of falling asleep with them, but he knows it is far too vulnerable of a move. He slips from beneath Ty Lee and steps down from the bed with a careful leap, setting the book amongst the pile of Azula's collection; he considers the chunk of pages missing from the text as Azula's temper at work, and grimaces at the thought. For a moment, he surveys the three girls. The silence reminds him of the dilemma at hand, and Zuko has to swallow the knot in his throat in order to keep the tears from coming.

"Ah," he huffs to himself, shuffling towards the door and pulling it open. His mouth is caught open on a name, but it's swallowed up when he doesn't see her lingering outside the room. Zuko hadn't been paying close enough attention to notice when she'd slipped out of the room—Mai seemed to be great at appearing and disappearing at her own whim, with far too much practice. But the flutter in his chest only grew at the thought of her waiting around for him, and her crooked attempts at helping him.

Zuko decides to wait outside of their room in the hopes that she comes back (because maybe she just needed to get something, maybe she would be back, maybe, maybe).

He falls asleep, instead.

…

notes: i really got hit with severe writer's block (not to mention life happened) when it came to this story, but i finally beat it to death. also, i didn't include the myth because i couldn't figure out how to post it here, but it's on the ao3 version of this story. there's a link in my profile to it.