AN: So yeah...been a long time. Sorry. And sorry for the short chapter, but we're done with the hallway after this one! My writing style has changed a bit over time, if that's noticeable now, and it's a lot more dialogue heavy. So hope you have good comedic timing and rapid-fire pacing in your heads (and that this is at all actually funny and/or emotionally engaging) Also hope that if you don't watch Gilmore Girls, which you should, that the references still make sense, I tried to explain without convoluting.

Mike was going to die in this hallway.

What was it, the 6th hour? 15? 525,600 minutes perhaps?

Jesus Christ, he was quoting Rent, that's how desperate he was.

…

...

Actually, the amount of time he was spending on quotes he was saying in his own head was really what was desperate. God damnit, he needed to find out the time, oh duh check his phone...and it's 9:15, ok cool...wait it was 9:15 when they were standing outside, waiting for Wonka. Shit...who has a watch, who has a...Charlie! Of course he does, god bless him.

"Psst, Charlie, that is a watch you're wearing, correct?"

"Tis'"

"So...use the context clues, why would I ask?"

"Um?"

"Gimme the time!"

Charlie looked over, patronizingly, waiting for Mike to say…

"Ugh, please may I have the time, oh so fair and handsome gentleman?"

"Oh well I wouldn't say handso-yeah, it's...9:15."

"Motherf-" and Old Gramps Joe's wrinkly face snapped around and stared at Mike, absolutely incredulous that a teenager would dare say the F word.

"Mike" Charlie yell-whispered.

"Sorry, it's just that it was 9:15 when we were outside."

"That was hours ago...right?"

"All I know is all of the clocks have probably stopped."

"Mike, I'm scared. What is this place?"

"I don't know, illuminati headquarters."

"I'll check for...circles, right?"

"It's triangles, but hey, that was a nice attempt at sarcasm, you're learning already, the Rory to my Lorelai Gilmore."

"Is that a reference?"

"Gilmore Girls, I'm ashamed I made it. Probably a more cynical show out there I could pick."

And Veruca, the energetic pink glittery bubble snapped her head around.

"You watch Gilmore Girls" she asked too energetically for his taste.

"Pfft, no...no of course...not...that's girly...stuff". Veruca turned to Charlie, completely unconvinced. Of course he hadn't watched all 7 seasons. In two months. Nope.

The hallway was getting smaller. Charlie at the very least knew that. It was slow, gradual, but the ceiling was definitely sloping down and the walls were definitely sloping in. Or maybe he was going crazy. No, it was getting smaller. Nobody else was even noticing, but that was to be expected. It was a gradual change. Well, and Charlie had a tendency to notice things, more than usual, it seemed. It was an effect of having few people in his life he could talk to, with a lack of friends as well as the fact he had a family that was nice but always preoccupied with keeping the roof up, the floor down, and walls on their side. So he would think a lot, about the pattern work of the house, how snow works, the expanse of the universe. He spent a lot of time in his own little world, which had expanded into its own galaxy. He was great in that galaxy, occupied in big important questions about life and death, well currently he was focusing on what on earth Gilmore Girls is, but still.

He had never been great with people. Thoughts about the sudden approach of a comet occupied his time more than sudden conversations with other people, so when Veruca Salt suddenly started talking to him again, he was a bit of a mess. She had started talking with Mike first and then turned to him, he hadn't even been listening.

"What about you, Charlie, do you watch it?"

"I'm sorry, watch what?"

"Gilmore Girls, silly."

"I mean, I guess I would-"

"Oh you do?!"

"No, no I don't...I can't."

"Why can't you, oh right, you told me...last night."

"Yeah."

Mike then decided to beat the awkwardness even further into the conversation, spurting out "wait, last night? What about last night? Hello, are you guys deaf, am I saying anything, is this real, am I dreaming, that'd make sense with the hallway…" and he rambled on, attempting to get their attention, even though Veruca had turned away and Charlie felt like shriveling into a ball and rolling away, a common feeling for him.

Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. Stupid. She had brought up last night and asked why he couldn't watch a TV show when they already had that one awkward discussion last night, OH MY GOD last night. She completely forgot, how could she forget about what she and Charlie did last night, god and she had planned it all and set it up and it had been great and he had been great and then she completely forgot. Like, what did that say about the relationship she wanted the two of them to have if she completely forgot about the night the two of them had? Just with the overwhelming day and so many other people...well really just like 10 new people and the most overwhelming thing was the burning dolls and the expanse of this fun house sized hallway...ok so it's not actually that overwhelming, she's just a terrible, selfish person. She's already proven that to herself in her life.

She turned around and looked at him, at Charlie. He was...she didn't know...but she liked him, something about him, maybe the baby face, the quiet personality. So she said say something...something...come on Veruca...no, don't turn to Mike...don't open your mouth...don't say anything to him-

"You're not Lorelai, you know."

Crap.

"What" Mike whispered back, incredulous. Everyone was whispering conversations, they didn't want to break the mood.

"You said you're Lorelai, but you are angsty little Jess and you know it."

"Ok-"

"And I'm Dean...but Charlie's still definitely Rory."

"Whoa, so you're Dean, like Rory's boyfriend, alright Lovebird-"

"Lovebird? Where did that-"

Charlie: May I ask-

Mike: I got this Chuck-

Veruca: I'm not...I mean I wouldn't be...you know what, you're Jess, which is one of Rory's other boyfriend, so have fun with you're relationship...jerk."

Veruca turned around, still listening to the conversation as it washed over her like second hand regret and "want-to-slam-head-into-wall":

Charlie: I'm not gay.

Mike: I'm not either, don't worry, but we should just play along to not give her the upper hand...don't try to kiss me!

Charlie: You just said-

Mike: Yeah I know.

Charlie: She can probably hear what we're saying.

Mike: Oh. True.

Charlie: Who's Dean again? A Gerber Girls character? Do you think she feels-

Mike: Oh sweet child...yeah.

Charlie: Is Veruca listening to all of this?

Mike: No, the 5 foot thick rolling bulletproof glass wall I put between us should do the trick.

Charlie: Really?

Mike: Oh sweet child...no.

Double Crap.

In the long minutes they had been walking this hallway, Ms. Beauregarde had drifted to the back of the crowd like the other parents who were more hesitant about the whole situation, but her vision was still locked on her. Violet was right at the front, 1 foot 3 inches behind Mr. Wonka, close enough to create a sort of bubble that would keep the competitors away but far enough away to not seem weird...Weirder.

Three blithering idiots were in the back, whispering things about Gilmore Girls...well, she could use that, actually. The fourth blithering idiot, Augustus, arguably the blithering-est of them all, was looking off, unfocused, solemn, but primarily unfocused. Weakling.

Then he started whisper-rambling, seemingly to nobody, with some random little...joke it seemed, in a tragic country accent.

"Log entry, Day 84: Been walkin' the hallway for months now-"

Violet slowly turned her head around, calculating as usual, to smirk Augustus off and make him lose a sense of confidence, but when she did, she was suddenly put off by how committed he was to the bit. When he saw she was watching, he started walking with a limp, shuddering, with a clownishly depressed face as he continued, "-arm fell off from hypothermia, had to eat my partner to survive."

Violet rolled her eyes, lightheartedly unlike she was aiming for, and turned forward again, hiding a tiny smile. But Augustus continued, he was damn persistent if nothing else...really nothing else. He started saying, no dramatically whisper-singing, "A-

"Don't do it" Violet thought.

"Ma-"

"God Damnit you nincompoop"

"Zing-"

"I'm going to punch you through, not in, but through the face"

"Grace, how sweet the sound"

And Violet chuckled. Well it was supposed to be a chuckle. A tiny, quiet, inconspicuous chuckle. But NOPE. not for Violet "Intense like an Interrogation" Beauregarde. Her chuckle was actually a room shaking sudden boom of a laugh, which was impressive considering the scope of the room. A gigantic dragon sized firework of a laugh that should be beyond the capabilities of your average opera star or Whitney Houston like belter, much less a pale, skinny 14 year old girl.

Everyone stopped in their tracks, shocked at the loudest sound they had heard in the hallway. Violet quickly shut up, restricting herself to the one laugh and looked down at her suddenly very fascinating shoes. Wonka shrieked and stopped, with a stock still, horrified body with gnarled fingers and weak knees. There were awkward little chuckles, actual chuckles, around her, trying to dissipate the cloud of awkwardness that had been building up from the beginning of the hallway and Violet had made storm. And Violet wasn't even going to bother looking back at her mom to see her face. Violet's face would probably melt, Raiders of the Lost Ark style. Maybe Ms. Beauregarde's face had been the one to melt like that out of sheer secondhand embarrassment.

The laugh, the idea of Violet laughing seemed so unfamiliar, so foreign to her. When she thought about it, it really seemed like Violet hadn't genuinely laughed in years.

People laughing, the idea of people laughing at Augustus' jokes (besides his mother) seemed so unfamiliar, so foreign to him. When he really thought about it, it really seemed like Augustus genuinely didn't have people in his life that laughed with him, just people who laughed at him.