I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

He had to hurry, there wasn't much time, he was bleeding heavily but there was no time to have his wounds tended and it could very well kill him. He didn't care. His wife and child were in danger, he had to save them even if it meant his death, better to sacrifice one life for the price of two. He had already lived 3000 years, he would gladly end so his love and their child would live. He got there, unleashing Tetsusaiga's Wind Scar on the foolish humans standing in his way, calling for her as he stepped through the rubble and bodies.

"You're too late!" that damn samurai stepped out to face him.

"What?!" he snapped, snarling at the man.

"I've already sent her to the underworld," he proclaimed.

Better she be there before she brought that half-breed child of this mongrel into the world than see the woman he loved in the arms of some foul demon. He would never let the demon have her.

"Damn you, fool!" the demon growled as the samurai drew his sword and charged.

He charged as well, severing the bastard's arm as he sped past him; he didn't have time for this! Ignoring the human's groans of pain, he entered the birthing room, already set ablaze, an infant's cries reaching his ears and there she was, dead, the infant expelled from her womb either moments before her death or because of her death. It mattered little, the child lived, he could save her with the blade he'd had forged when part of Tetsusaiga broke off.

Footsteps stopped him, the samurai had followed him faster than he expected, he had no time to revive Izayoi before he moved in for another attack. He was running out of options, he had no time to resort to his initial plan. His amber gaze moved to the wailing infant, darting from the wriggling little thing to the warrior that stood still catching his breath, giving the demon mere seconds to make his decision. Pulling the fire-rat cloak from under his breastplate, he quickly wrapped the infant in it, his sharp claws severing the cord that connected mother to child before using one of his hair-ties to tie off the stump lest the infant bleed out from it. All this happened in mere seconds as the samurai Takemaru stood catching his breath before resuming his attack against the demon, but it was all the time the damned creature needed. After casting a tearful gaze back at the human he'd fallen in love with, he fled with the infant clutched tightly to him and was gone in the blink of an eye; he would finish off Takemaru later. With the mother gone and her mate too late to save her, he had to live, he had to get himself and his son home so his wounds could be tended, vengeance had to wait, Inu Yasha needed him more than ever and he needed him to live. He flew as fast as he could back to his castle, letting out a howl of heart-break as he fell to his knees on the ground, tears falling as he clutched the infant to him, that howl alerting his servants to their master's return. Immediately, they rushed to their lord's side, wanting to know what had caused the great demon such heartache, realizing quickly enough what must have happened when they heard the cries of the baby sharing his father's pain. Inu Taisho's personal aide, a phoenix demon called Abi, rested a hand on his shoulder even as she tried to pry the infant from him.

"No!" he growled, "You will not take him from me! He's all I've left of her!"

"We must tend to you both, my Lord," she said, trying to soothe him enough to listen, "He will not be far from you, but your wounds are grave, you must let us tend to you or they could be the death of you."

"Inu Yasha..." he all but whimpered as he relinquished his hold on the child so they could both be tended.

Healers were summoned, Abi there to help, as a pair of servants took hold of their Lord's arms and guided him to his chambers with the half-breed tight in her arms. She would have to find someone to act as the pup's wet-nurse until he could be weened, wondering briefly how Sesshomaru would react when he returned to find his father recovering and his half-brother present with no mother. Never before had she seen her lord so distraught, he was usually so composed, she hoped that whoever this Takemaru was whose name he kept growling out had the good sense to flee before the Dog General was strong enough to hunt him down. As the healers worked to tend his wounds before they became worse than they already were (it seems he may have opened one further in his desperation to reach Izayoi), his thoughts were only on his son and the death of his love. Once his infant son had been tended to and quieted, Inu Taisho allowed the healers to continue their work with much less fuss so long as his son was close by. His wounds were serious and should've been tended to immediately, but if he'd done that, he would've lost both Izayoi and Inu Yasha, any longer and they would have killed him. He lost all track of time and before he knew it, they were done and leaving his chambers as a servant brought in a tray of tea and hot broth that was left on the floor beside his futon, Inu Taisho merely staring blankly out the window. He took some comfort in the little body that seemed content to stay curled up on his chest and the feel of the little heart beating with his own, Inu Yasha sleeping peacefully on his father's chest.

A wet nurse was found to nurse Inu Yasha until he was old enough to eat solid foods, though there were occasions when Taisho would sit with his son, a dish of milk beside him that he would dip his fingers into before letting Inu Yasha suck it off. While he'd been an attentive father to Sesshomaru, he seemed to give Inu Yasha more time and attention, though it sent a pang of guilt through his heart that perhaps he was showing too much favoritism to his little half-demon son. Of course, Sesshomaru was full-blooded demon and hadn't required quite so much attention and was able to fend for himself at an earlier age than Inu Yasha. Despite the fact that demons aged slower than humans given their longer lifespans, pups tended to develop faster than human infants until a certain point so while Inu Yasha wasn't as slow in developing as humans were, he didn't develop as quickly as his half-brother. So Taisho took some comfort in the fact that had Sesshomaru required the same attention he would've readily given it. Sesshomaru had also had a mother to help rear their pup, Inu Yasha only had their father, but as far as Sesshomaru was concerned, their father seemed to prefer his half-breed son over his full-blooded one. In the first week or two, Taisho did not heal as quickly as expected, though the wounds were among the most grievous he'd endured and he'd lost a great deal of blood that night (the dog was, in fact, lucky to be alive)which had given him time to think. After a quiet knock to announce his presence, Sesshomaru slid open the door to his father's study after being summoned there to find him gazing out the window, his infant son on his shoulder staring intently at Sesshomaru with the same golden eyes as his own.

"You wished to see me, Father?" he'd asked, bowing in respect though his father didn't see it.

"Sesshomaru," he breathed, not turning to face him, "I've a favor to ask of you, one I'm sure you're ready for and that you've been waiting for. My strength is slow to return and with no mate at my side, it falls to me to rear this pup on my own. I... am not as young as I once was, I can no longer do it all. At least, not alone."

"There are servants to take charge of the half-breed, have them tend to him," the teen had all but growled.

"Servants cannot replace the attentions of a parent," Taisho replied, turning to gaze at his older son and struggling to remain calm with him, "Sesshomaru, I am asking your help."

"I will not help you raise that wench's pup!" he snapped.

Taisho growled, baring his fangs so the pup knew who was alpha here, "Watch your tone, pup, you forget your place!" he calmed himself and let out a sigh, "I would never ask that of you. Inu Yasha is my responsibility, not yours. I need you, at least temporarily, to act as Lord of the Western Lands."

"You've grown weak, Father," Sesshomaru stated, hardly bothering to keep the contempt from his voice.

"Not weak, Sesshomaru, just weary," he replied.

It was true, he was weary of it, quite honestly sick of it all, of the constant threats to his lands and his life, the weeks he'd spent away from home while he patrolled his lands away from comfort and family. In the past it had been easier, he'd been younger and eager to prove himself much like Sesshomaru was now, he had patrolled his territories with barely any thought and even made it a point to bring Seshsomaru with him when the pup was old enough. Now, things had changed and something more important hung in the balance, his battle with Ryukotsusei had taken too much out of him and had nearly cost him everything. Sesshomaru had had his mother to stay with him and look after him while his father was away, to love him and dote on him when Taisho couldn't, Inu Yasha didn't and Taisho was finding it hard to trust his servants with his son for the amount of time he'd be gone patrolling. Word had begun to travel the lands and the territories of the other taiyoukai of his battle with the dragon demon that had challenged him and rumor had spread that he had been killed or was dying. His strength was slow to return and he hated feeling weak and vulnerable like he did now and he was simply losing his will to continue on. Perhaps it was best if he stepped down from his place and let his son take over his responsibilities, after all, a few weeks ago the pup had been eager to defeat his father and take his place. He let out a sigh, glancing down at Inu Yasha; he was getting too old for this. While Sesshomaru looked no more than 15 or 16 at 700 years of age, by his measure Taisho looked to be in his 30's or 40's, a middle-aged human and even at 3000 years he was still technically in his prime. This time around, he simply did not feel as if he could play father and ruler at the same time, something had to give. He wanted a bit of peace for awhile and Inu Yasha needed him to be around.

Once his wounds had healed enough, he'd left to finish what Takemaru had started, entrusting Inu Yasha's care to Sesshomaru for the brief time he'd be gone, certain that despite the revulsion and resentment he felt for his half-brother the pup wouldn't dare hurt him. Though, he was still weak, he'd regained enough strength to take his revenge against the human that had slain his mate, leaving behind a very confused Sesshomaru whose icy mask had slipped enough to show his confusion and uncertainty.

"You called for me, Father?" he'd asked walking in as his father strapped So'unga to his back.

"There's something I need to do, Sesshomaru," he'd replied, looking at his son with a glint in his eye his pup knew meant someone was going to die, "I shouldn't be long, but I need you to do something."

"Of course, Father," he'd bowed, willing to aid his father however he could, certain it would mean fighting at his side, "However, you are not fully healed and you've yet to regain much strength."

A smirk had crossed Taisho's face, a fang protruding over his lip, "How much strength do you think I will need to do away with one measly human?"

So his human-loving father was going off to actually kill one; he returned the smirk, "Very little."

"I thought you'd recognize that," he'd turned and started walking out of the room then, "I need to watch over Inu Yasha for me, I will only be a few hours at most."

He'd left Sesshomaru staring wide-eyed and slack-jawed after him in disbelief before turning his uncertain gaze upon his infant brother who'd gotten hold of the end of his mokomoko and seemed happy enough to suck on it. Taisho had returned a few hours later, shocked to find his older son at ease with the baby, sitting cross-legged on the floor while Inu Yasha sucked and chewed on one of his fingers. He's swiftly risen to his feet, icy mask in place, when he became of aware of his father's presence, leaving the older lord to walk over and pick the infant up from the floor and cradle him in his arms. He had lost track of time in his father's absence, trying to ignore the puppy ears adorning his brother's head while bearing in mind that this was his father's pup, now his father stood before him with streaks of some unfortunate human's blood on his clothing and his cheek.

"A most unpleasant task, Father," he'd remarked as he walked out, "Do not ask it of me again."

Taisho had only smirked as his first-born walked out in what was meant to be an indignant huff, but he's raised that pup, he knew him better than Sesshomaru knew himself, could read him like a book, and he knew better.

Kami, was he tired of it all, Izayoi's death had left a void in his heart and still left him feeling like all he wanted to do was cry until the pain was gone. Sesshomaru was disturbed by the lost look on his noble father's face; never before had the old dog seemed so vulnerable, so defeated, so... weak and all over the death of some pathetic human. How the mighty fall. Much as it disgusted him that this pathetic display was over some insignificant being, it pained him to see his father so distraught, to see his mighty father brought so low. Part of him wanted to reach out and relieve some of that pain he saw in those deep golden eyes, another wanted to slap some sense into him and demand to know what this pathetic imposter had done with his father. He couldn't settle on which course to take, so he settled for breaking the uncomfortable silence that had fallen.

"For how long?" he asked.

"I have not yet decided, Sesshomaru," Taisho replied, "So consider it until further notice. I will tend to things here while you take over patrols of the lands and dealing with immediate threats."

"If it is your wish, Father," he bowed and turned to take his leave.

"Sesshomaru," the old dog called after him, bringing his so to a halt, "I do love you."

"Hn," those cold, amber eyes glanced at him over his shoulder, "As if I have some need of that weak emotion."

Taisho had only wanted to reassure his older child that he was not forgotten or neglected, that there was still room in the great demon's heart for him, but it seemed as though all he'd accomplished was pushing his first-born farther away.