Epilogue

Shouichi regard the four hitmen seated across from him in silence, which was a tactic that generally netted him good results. Aomine responded as usual, squirming in his seat like a shame-faced toddler. It was an incongruous look for a grown man sporting a busted lip, an arm in a sling, and several visible hickeys and bite marks, but Shouichi supposed that was why the boy was called a genius. Momoi sat still, perfectly composed, and only the uneasy way she nibbled her lower lip betrayed her nerves. Kagami and... Kuroko... were unknown qualities, but Kagami looked grim and jogged his knee up and down a few times under Shouichi's eye. Kuroko showed nothing at all and might as well have been carved from ice. Well, they did say that the Ghost was the best there was.

Did sort of make the fact that he had his own share of hickeys and at least one visible bite mark peeking out from beneath his collar rather funny, though.

At length Shouichi placed the tips of his fingers together and tapped them against his chin. "You all are going to have to pardon me for going over this again, but I just wanna be sure I'm understanding this correctly. Now, if I'm following your stories right, the reason I've been having such a rough year is essentially because two of the best hitmen in the world were acting out the plot of a Top 40 pop hit themed around 'Why doesn't he like me as much as I like him?'—am I right?"

"I would say that the theme was more to the effect of 'You broke my heart and now you're going to pay,' but otherwise, yes, that is essentially correct," Kuroko said.

"Ah, yes, how silly of me, that does seem like a more accurate theme," Shouichi murmured, while Aomine squirmed some more.

Without looking, Kuroko reached over and laid his hand on top of Aomine's.

Shouichi watched Aomine turn a besotted smile on the Ghost and Kagami trying his best not to seem appalled, and he sighed. "Yoshinori, refresh my memory for me. Just how much money did we estimate that we've lost this year thanks to the Ghost's lovelorn heart?"

"Between the soured deals, lost business, lost personnel, and what you characterize as your general aggravation index, several million dollars, sir," Susa said, expressionless.

Kagami winced and Aomine hung his head. Kuroko, meanwhile, continued to meet Shouichi's eyes calmly. "I do apologize for the inconveniences I've caused you."

"And I would not want you to think that I do not appreciate that," Shouichi said, smiling back at him. "But what I'd really like to know is just how you're planning on making it all right."

Kuroko lifted his eyebrows. "Tell me what you had in mind."

"I assume that you mean besides your head on a plate," Shouichi said, more to see what sort of reaction that would get him than because that option was still on the table. There clearly wasn't any point in hoping Aomine would be able to bring himself to it, and Momoi wouldn't either, not if it would mean making Aomine unhappy.

Kuroko did not turn so much as a hair. "I'm afraid you can't afford that option," he said calmly, which was what Shouichi had already concluded for himself. Subcontracting the job to one of the other independent operators who could take the Ghost down would be expensive even before accounting for the fact that it would likely lose him Aomine and Momoi as well.

"I suppose you're right about that," Shouichi conceded. Aomine sighed with relief, not even trying to be surreptitious about it. "We'll have to work things out in some other fashion." He regarded Kuroko, thoughtful. "Way I figure it, you owe me for what you've cost me."

"Shall I write you a check?"

Shouichi sucked on his teeth. "That solution lacks a certain emotional component. A soul, if you will, and the sense that you actually regret your behavior, which, if I'm not mistaken, you don't." Kuroko smiled faintly and said nothing. "No, I think I'd rather have you work it off instead." He smiled as Kuroko's face went still and expressionless. "I'd like to keep you where I can see you anyway, just in case Aomine cocks things up again. That way I can pop the two of you into couples counseling before you decide to go and make another statement about your broken heart."

Kuroko gave him a long look and then turned toward his partner. They communicated silently in a private code of lifted eyebrows, tiny frowns, the tip of a head, and the fractional nod. Kuroko pursed his lips and then returned his gaze to Shouichi. "Six months."

"You're not going to earn back that much money in six months," Shouichi said. "Two years, now, is a much more reasonable estimate of how long it'll take. There are only so many people I want to get out of my hair."

Kuroko barely even blinked. "I could cut you a check for the difference."

"Now, what did I already tell you about checks?" Shouichi asked. "Six months won't make much of a dent in what you owe. Give me eighteen months, though, and I might be willing to settle for a check at that point."

"A year," Kuroko countered, and smiled faintly, unexpectedly enough. "With the option to renegotiate then. I may decide that I like working for you. I haven't decided."

A year was what he'd expected to settle on, but that last was more than Shouichi would have hoped for. "I reckon that would be acceptable."

"Then we have an agreement," Kuroko said, still wearing that faint smile. Aomine slumped in relief and so did Kagami. Momoi just seemed to be resigning herself to her lot. Shouichi supposed he couldn't blame her for it.

"We do," he said. "Now get out of here, there's only so much romance a man can put up with at one time."

He watched them go nonetheless—Aomine and Kuroko still holding hands and Kagami and Momoi exchanging mutual glances of long-suffering. "It's an ill wind, eh, Yoshinori?"

"So they say," his right hand murmured. "Do you suppose it will last?"

"I wasn't joking about the couples counseling," Shouichi said, and Susa laughed with him.

end

And that, she said as she dusted her hands, is that.

Thank you to Andrea for the original prompt that spawned this silliness, and thank you to everyone who has commented along the way to coax me for more. I couldn't have done it without you!