A/N: Anyone still here? Still interested? I can only offer my apologies for the lateness of this chapter. As you know I've been going through some stuff and writing took a bit of a back burner for a bit. I write slower when I am stressed. The lack of japril on screen also may have contributed to the slump. However, last night's episode helped me limp past the finish line for this chapter, and I hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much for sticking around. We're almost done. Enjoy and feel free to let me know what you think.

Jackson lingered uncomfortably outside of the hospital's care center for school age children. It was located on the first floor separate from the facility on the upper levels for smaller kids. At this time of day, the usually active and loud hallway was quiet and all but deserted, save for one remaining on call attendant. The hospital staff had odd schedules so the childcare facilities were virtually open 24/7 in some capacity but tonight, most of the facility's students had already long since gone home for the day.

All but two.

There, on a bench near the door, Jake and Lindsey sat, side by side. The last children there.

Swallowing hard, Jackson paused in the doorway, taking a deep breath before he crossed the threshold. He wasn't used to doing this.

"Hey guys," he said tentatively, walking into the entry way of the care center.

Lindsey looked up and waved, "Hi Doctor Jackson!"

Jake looked up and offered Jackson a small wave accompanied bright smile. He felt some sense of relief. The children were both clearly happy to see him.

It wasn't like he hadn't spent time with April's children over the past few months as they pursued their new relationship. He'd gone with them to the park, and to the movies and made dinner at April's apartment for the four of them to eat. Hell, they'd even gone to a pumpkin patch together. Slowly but surely, as April and Matthew became more comfortable and secure in their respective relationships, they'd began allowing Jackson and Terri to interact more and more with the kids.

Thinking about the anger and the fighting he'd observed between April and her now ex-husband, Jackson was very impressed at how dedicated and united they were about ensuring Jake and Lindsey's well being. That kind of unity of purpose had seemed like an impossibility when the two had almost come to blows in April's office mere months before.

Jackson honestly wasn't sure how he would react in the same position. Then again, he wasn't a parent.

Yet?

And he didn't really know how Terri felt about it, but Jackson was getting more and more used to Jake and Lindsey. The gnawing pit of resentment toward them that he once felt and feared would be aggravated by their presence had evaporated. Yes, Jake and Lindsey belonged to Matthew Taylor. Yes, they represented a part of April's life that Jackson had not been part of. A part he'd once wanted to wish away, because of all his own mistakes. Mistakes that had helped push April Kepner to leave Seattle and marry Matthew Taylor in the first place.

But in reality, the reality that Jackson was living, where April had come back to him and they were together and things were better than he could ever have imagined, she had spent the better part of ten years with another man and had two children by him. And now, Jackson finally felt okay about that.

It didn't bother him that Jake looked just like his dad because Jackson didn't feel angry at Matthew anymore. It didn't eat him up inside to hear Lindsey talk enthusiastically about her upcoming 6th birthday party because he'd let go of his anger over all the lost years.

His mom was right. Letting go of the anger and bitterness over lost time, was the first step to starting something new and wonderful with April. With out all the misunderstandings, lost opportunities and time apart, they wouldn't be where they were now. And what he had with April now was amazing. He couldn't remember feeling this happy in a long time.

Maybe ever.

Owning up to his part in what had happened and letting go of what couldn't change had been the start. It had also allowed Jackson to begin to start build a real and deeper relationship with April and her children.

But, Jackson had to admit, he wasn't used to interacting with Jake and Lindsey alone. Without their mother.

As he approached their bench, Jackson smiled faintly at the way the children eagerly scooted apart, leaving a space for him and patting the seat in a gesture that demanded he sit down and join. That's what they'd all done really. Jackson and Terri and Matthew and April and the kids. Slowly, they were learning to make space for each other in their lives.

"Thanks," he said, easing himself into the spot between the brother and sister.

"What are you doing here?" Jake asked the obvious question, as a hint of concern flashed in his eyes. After all, he had been expecting his mother to pick him up. "Are Mommy and Daddy okay?"

"Yes," Jackson reassured quickly. "They're fine. They're just kind of busy. Working together actually...see there was an accident at the ski run-"

"A valanche?" Lindsey asked excitedly, waving her arms in the air and letting her hands drift gracefully downwards like two giant snowflakes. "With all the falling snow?"

Sometimes, Jackson had noticed, she had a weird interest in natural disasters. She also seemed to be in a phase of trying out newer and bigger words, with varying degrees of success.

Her older brother leaned across Jackson's lap and corrected Lindsey, enunciating each syllable, "Avalanche. Av-a-lanche."

"So, they're still at work?" Lindsey continued with a small pout, waving off her brother's language lesson.

"Yeah," Jackson explained. "Some people got kinda hurt, and your Daddy is bringing them to your Mommy's hospital."

"My Mommy and Daddy help people get better," the little girl nodded in pride. "Daddy finds 'em and Mommy fixes 'em."

"That's right," he agreed with a smile. "So...your mom called me and said she's sorry she'll be late. She also asked if I could hang out with you for a bit. She thought it might be more fun for you than just waiting for her. I'm not on the list to take you guys home for the night, but I can stay with you two here in the hospital and keep you company until your parents finish working..."

It was April's week to care for the kids, but circumstances at Bellevue Acute Trauma had caused both herself and Matthew to be stuck pulling overtime until more of the ski patients were stabilized. Normally, with both parents unable to pick up the pair for the night, Jake and Lindsey would either remain with the night attendant at the care center. April had thought it might be less boring for them to wait for her with Jackson instead.

If he had the time of course.

As if she thought Jackson wouldn't make time for her or her family. He was chairman of the board for crying out loud. He made his own schedule. And he'd do anything for April.

He eyed the children carefully, "That sound okay?"

Uncertain as to how Jake and Lindsey would respond, Jackson released a breath of relief he didn't know he was holding when they both erupted with a string of gleeful questions.

To his left, Lindsey squealed, "Can we get ice cream?"

"Can we see your desk?" Jake tugged at his right arm.

Eyes growing wide as inspiration struck, Lindsey pulled at the object around Jackson's neck, "Would you let me see your ethel-scope? Mommy lets me see hers..."

This was the first time April had ever suggested Jackson keep them company. Which kind of felt like a big deal, even if she'd made her suggestion casually. This was the first time April was trusting Jackson around her children. Alone. Without her guidance. In their new relationship, if there was one thing Jackson had learned, it was that in April's life today, Jake and Lindsey were the most precious of all.

More and more he was seeing -up close- just how much motherhood had changed April. And where Jackson had trepidation before about how much April had changed over the years, now he could say he very much liked what he saw.

Unable to stop himself from eavesdropping, Jackson smirked, stirring the pot of pasta carefully as he listened to April talk on the phone with her son. It was Jake and Lindsey's week with their father, so as had become the norm for the couple as fall turned to winter, April was spending dinner (and the night) at Jackson's apartment. Even on weeks when Matthew had the kids, April always tried to get caught up on both Jake and Lindsey's days before they went to bed.

"You did?" she asked excitedly. "2nd grade class historian? That's awesome kiddo! Tell me everything."

There was a pause and then April clapped her hands with gusto. And Jackson paused in his stirring to take a peek at the woman he loved. Her hair was down and she was sitting on a stool, leaning against his island counter. She'd kicked off her shoes at the door and her bare feet tapped against the stool as she gestured some more. Talking with as much animation as she might have if her son was actually in the room with her.

April beamed, "Of course they like your drawings. You are a very talented artist!"

That wasn't an overly exaggerated 'mom' observation.

Jackson lifted the spoon to his lips, testing the sauce he had boiling next to his pasta noodles. He'd seen some of Jake's pictures. He liked drawing comic style sketches, and while Jackson was no expert on drawing, he'd been surprised at how polished the drawings of an elementary student could be. Jake had illustrated a hilarious and sweet caricature of a grumpy Alex Karev at the hospital Halloween party a few weeks back. He really did have talent. Jo had left it posted on Karev's office door and Jackson was surprised to note that the pediatric surgeon had yet to remove the drawing.

The sauce was done and so was the pasta, so Jackson turned off the burners and reached to his cupboard. He readied two plates as April continued her conversation.

"Well, of course they like you, Jakey," her voice softened. "You are a wonderful boy. You're a great big brother, an excellent son, and a great friend."

Another pause, during which April furiously brushed tears from the corners of her eyes.

"I know so! Trust me. And I also know that you are going to do such a good job being historian for your class this year. They couldn't have made a better choice."

By the time Jackson had finished readying their plates, April had said her goodbyes to both Jake and Lindsey and had moved to her now usual spot next to his chair at the dining table.

Setting the plates down and offering April a fork, Jackson grinned, "Sounds like the vote is in?"

"Yes!"

The whole decision to run for class historian was a pretty big surprise to everyone.

Jake was kind of a shy kid, and he'd taken moving to Seattle a lot harder than the rest of his family. Though, according to April, it seemed the boy usually took things harder than the rest of his family. From what Jackson had seen, Jake seemed to try to take on a lot of the responsibility for his family's well being.

It was a position that strangely resonated with Jackson. He could see some of the boy he'd been in Boston with his mother and grandfather in how Jake was with April and Lindsey and Matthew. Jake wanted to protect the people he loved at all costs.

So did Jackson.

Even April was a little concerned about the class election, when Jake told her he wanted to run for the position. He'd promised a personalized comic drawing of every student in the class as well as an online album for every field trip. Jackson thought that was a pretty solid platform for a 2nd grade campaign, but April worried Jake would lose. She didn't want Jake to be disappointed or hurt by the sting of potential rejection and Jackson could understand her concern.

"I'm really glad he won," April said proudly, but not without a small measure of relief as she took a sip of wine. "I mean, he has trouble making friends sometimes. At least, he had some trouble in Cleveland."

Jackson twisted long strands of pasta on his fork and shrugged, "He seems like he's been doing well here."

"It is definitely better since the move. I mean, he's probably never going to be a social butterfly, but at least he has a couple school friends now. He's been doing so well, but I still worry about him, you know?"

A ghost of a smile appeared on Jackson's lips before he took a bite of pasta. "Of course you do, April. You're his mother. Mothers worry."

Oh, what he knew about mothers who worried about their sons.

Catherine Avery would probably never admit it, and for most of his life Jackson hadn't quite understood it, but she worried about him. He'd always thought (maybe even a little bit feared) that his mother's constant badgering and insistence on being so involved in his life stemmed from his own failings. Jackson had long believed his mother lacked confidence in his abilities. He'd thought she was disappointed in him.

"I know, I just...wish I could make everything go perfectly for him..."

Only in time, Jackson learned how wrong he was.

All those years of meddling and nosy phone calls had nothing to do with what Catherine Avery thought he wasn't capable of. She thought he was capable of moving mountains. He realized now that sometimes his mother had far more faith in Jackson than he had for himself. She'd made him one of the youngest medical board members in the country because she knew he could succeed. Catherine had complete faith in Jackson's ability to take over the Harper Avery Foundation. She also had the faith that he could work things out with April.

Catherine's nagging and meddling came more from the place inside of her that didn't want to see him get hurt by the world. That was really what mothers worried about.

At the same time, Jackson had also learned that the world hurt everybody in some way or another. That was just life. What mattered was learning how best to respond. And mothers were often the very best teachers.

"I know you do, but that's not really how it works, is it?" he soothed, swallowing his mouthful of food. "Things won't always go perfectly for Jake. Or Lindsey. All you can do is be there when they don't."

April frowned sadly and poked listlessly at her food. "I just...with him, I-I feel like I-like it's my fault when-"

She pursed her lips and fell silent, gazing at her food intently.

Jackson's brow furrowed. Throughout their new relationship, April generally gushed about her children or shared surface level concerns about their grades, behavior, or happiness. But something in the tone of her voice told him that this ran deeper.

And, while it wasn't as though they hadn't discussed deeper issues with each other in the short duration of their new relationship, the moment felt weighty somehow. In fact, they'd already covered their fair share of tough conversations regarding past choices, communication, religion, and sex. But this? This was deep. And it wasn't about the two of them as a couple.

"What do you mean?"

"Lindsey..." April's voice wavered and she looked away from the table. "Lindsey can just walk into a room and own it, you know? Doesn't matter what she does or how she acts. No matter how goofy or how loud. People are drawn to her. People like her. And she likes people. I love that about her."

Thinking of the bubbly blonde child, Jackson murmured affirmatively, not wanting to interrupt the flow of his girlfriends musings.

"Matthew's kind of like that too, you know? She got it from him. He's more shy, but..." April swallowed continuing in a whisper. "Matthew is easy to like. Lindsey is easy to like."

Sensing some of where April's train of thought was going Jackson reached out and rested his fingers against her fork gripping hand. He tried to soothe, "April-"

She cut him off however, apparently determined to finish, "Jake tries hard. But...it's not easy for him. With Jake, sometimes people read him as cold or rude because he's so quiet and-what he gets from me isn't...It makes it so that dealing with people is not easy for him. I'm not easy to like. We're not easy. It took me a long time to learn to understand people and to make them understand me. I'm afraid it'll turn out the same for Jake. So, I just...I hate seeing him struggle."

"April, you and Jake are easy to like..." Jackson explained sincerely. "I can attest. Even when I didn't want to like either of you, I just couldn't help myself. You didn't give your son anything bad."

His comparison garnered a small smile, but it faded quickly, replaced with a frown.

"I...I gave him a ton of emotional baggage that I shouldn't have. More pressure than I should have," April sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Matthew and I both gave him that. Sometimes, I'm afraid Jake gets so nervous and shy because of us...because he senses why he...how he came to be. With Lindsey it was different, I guess, I was more ready and we weren't so lost and I was so afraid she wouldn't even-"

She stopped short, eyes widening for a moment before she shook her head, "It was different. It was different with Lindsey. But Jake? In a lot of ways, he was born to make us feel better."

Squeezing her hand and running his thumbs in soothing circles across her palm, Jackson listened intently. This, he suspected, was the real crux of the issue on his girlfriend's mind all evening.

Guilt. Regret. Emotions Jackson was intimately and painfully familiar with.

Jackson knew well the ways a mother's love weaved into her worries, but he knew about moms with guilt too. And he knew exactly what it felt like to have regrets. He'd spend ten years of his life wrapped up in and blinded by guilt and regret. These were the emotions that kept a person stuck. But now Jackson had learned to get out of a rut of feelings. Now, he'd learned to forgive and to be free. With a little help from his own mother.

Carefully, Jackson slipped off of his seat and moved to the other side of the table, kneeling quietly by his girlfriend's side, clinging to her hand.

Still looking straight ahead and seemingly unaware of Jackson's movements, April grimaced and shook her head in disgust. "Born to make his parents feel better. To make our marriage feel more real. To change the focus off of problems we both knew about and didn't want to face. And I knew all of that and I still did it. I still decided to have a baby-two babies- because I thought it would make things better for me and Matthew. That is a lot of pressure and I think on some level, Jake must feel it. Who puts that on a child? It's not fair and it's totally my fault."

Jackson could see all the features of April's sorrowful expression in profile. The curve of her lips, the tears rolling down her cheeks, and even the small shadows cast just above them by her long eyelashes. Out of the corner of her eye, she must have seen his gaze because in an instant she covered her face with her hands and began to sob.

Now that was anguish.

Jackson sighed and ran a hand along her back letting her cry. Clearly April had been holding this in for a long while. Funny what a minefield a simple question about a second grade student council election could turn out to be. But Jackson didn't mind.

Maybe all his own painful experiences really could amount to something. He'd built April up before. Mutually reassuring pep talks were how they'd forged their friendship long ago, and it was something he thought they'd both probably missed in their years of distance. He understood now just how much April's support meant to him-how much he needed her, and the fact that she'd finally chosen to open up to him in this way proved to Jackson that she needed him just as much. She'd been there for him after his grandfather died and when he'd doubted his worthiness of love, and he was more than willing to return the favor.

"Hey," Jackson soothed after a few moments, leaning his head on April's shoulder and holding her close. "You did the best you could with what you had."

"I hurt people- I hurt Matthew. And Lindsey. And Jake."

"Yes."

Her voice quivered, "I hurt you."

Pressing a kiss to her lips and looking her right in the eyes, Jackson continued, "Nothing can or would be changed. Right? Maybe you made some mistakes along the way, but so did I. So does everyone. That's life. Without those choices we wouldn't be here right now. Your kids wouldn't be here. And I get that you feel bad. You have to acknowledge and live with that. Feel the pain of that. But a very wise woman once told me to deal with what is coming or what is possible now. Be present with the situation as it is."

April still looked doubtful so Jackson turned his head to whisper in her ear, "And so much is possible now. For you, for Jake, for Matthew, for Lindsey, hell even for Terri and me. For us. For all of us. Because of your choices; because not all of them were bad."

"But Jake-"

Jackson leaned back and beamed at his girlfriend, "Is doing just fine. He won his election. He is happy and healthy and loved by his parents. Jake is going to be okay."

Finally she wiped her eyes and turned to face him, offering a small smile at the excitement and pride that she heard in Jackson's voice, "You think so?"

Using his thumbs to wipe the tears from his girlfriend's cheeks, Jackson nodded, "Forgive yourself, April. And if he ever understands or feels any of the things you are afraid he will, Jake will forgive you too. I know it's a hard thing, but you have to forgive yourself."

He pressed his forehead to hers.

"Trust me."

April sniffled and finally wrapped both her arms around his neck, pressing her mouth near his ear and whispering a barely audible 'Thank you'. Jackson knew the road was long, but he also knew that there were wonderful things to be found when you made it to the other side. And he was confident that April would take his advice and get there as well.

They stayed in that position for a long time, Jackson kneeling beside April's chair with her arms wrapped around him like she didn't ever want to let him go. It was nice and he certainly didn't mind staying that way, but the moment was interrupted by a rather loud gurgle emanating from Jackson's stomach causing April to giggle.

"We should eat now..." she said, brushing her hair behind her ears nervously, with a remaining hint of tears left in her voice. "You're hungry."

"Yeah," Jackson agreed sheepishly, as he moved back to his seat.

Their eyes met across the table and Jackson could see that April was still thinking deeply about what he'd said. He offered her a small grin as she swallowed hard and lowered her head. There was an awkward silence as they both start eating again.

April was the first to break it, "Sorry to ramble on about my kids like that-during 'our time'. I know I shouldn't-"

"I don't mind you talking about them, you know," Jackson said honestly, watching his girlfriend with a small grin. "Even when you're here with me. They're a part of your life. And now mine too. I like your kids."

He liked them a lot.

The evening was not at all what Jackson feared it would be. Turned out taking care of two children on his own wasn't a total disaster. Sure, there had been bickering, and Jackson had had to wrangle Jake and Lindsey apart a couple times due to disagreements about food options and mispronounced words, but on a whole he felt confident in saying that the three of them together worked really well.

Jackson had taken Jake and Lindsey to the cafeteria and treated them to whatever they wanted to eat (which turned out to be chicken nuggets followed by pieces of pie, and ice cream), under the deal that they tell their parents that they ate a healthy dinner. Then he took the pair down to the basement for a little tour of the hospital's ever growing set of 3d printers, whirring away on their evening print cycles. Which both Jake and Lindsey seemed to love, for their own particular reasons.

As soon as they entered the room, Lindsey skipped ahead, weaving up and down the rows of humming machines with glee. Soon she was so far into the room that Jackson could barely see the top her head as the gentle swish of her blonde braid as she looked from side to side.

"Be careful," he cautioned gently, doing his best to track the little girls movements across the large room.

Jake, in contrast to his sister, stood still beside Jackson, hands clasped carefully behind his back as he peered with fascination into the printing bay and watched the creation of a cardiovascular valve. The organ was about half way to completion, the translucent plastic seeming to glow in the dim light of the machine, just like Jake's wide eyed face.

A familiar face in profile that for once didn't only remind Jackson of Matthew Taylor.

Feeling mildly more secure about leaving Jake at the front of the room, Jackson quickly moved to follow the Lindsey in her nerve wracking frolic.

"How does it do this?" she immediately began to pepper him with questions, waving her arms and coming dangerously close to bumping the precious machine. "How does it make Ore-gons?"

"Organs," Jake's distracted but ever present exasperated correction was heard over the sounds of the printer. "They're organs, Lindsey."

"Careful with your arms," Jackson chided carefully, trying to guide the girl toward the center of the aisle without hurting her feelings. "These printers are very important and pretty fragile. I don't want you to bump one."

To his surprise, Lindsey didn't seem phased by his admonishment. Instead, she slid her small fingers into his gazing up into his eyes brightly with a small grin. So open. So curious.

"Okay Doctor Jackson."

So trusting. Of him.

Jackson wasn't entirely sure he deserved that trust, given the role he must have played in her perspective in the demise of the family life she'd always known. He'd been angry with his father as a child when he'd come to understand that Warren was the reason that life had changed. He still felt rage at his father for making him feel unworthy of love. He could only hope that his own happiness had not come at the expense of April's children.

But then again, Lindsey's experience of divorce was turning out to be very different than Jackson's. Her father had never left her, for one thing.

Perhaps that had made all the difference. Parents are the foundation upon which children build their lives. Jackson certainly knew the impact of his father's absence and his mother's presence in his own life. And though Matthew and April weren't together, they were both there. And Jackson could see- they were both better, stronger, and healthier, divorced than they'd ever been while together. A more solid foundation for Jake and Lindsey.

Maybe she just didn't understand everything that had really happened yet. Maybe she was just more forgiving. Either way, Lindsey's simple gesture- grabbing Jackson's hand- had caught him completely off guard.

"Doctor Jackson?" Lindsey prodded, squeezing his fingers to pull him back into the room. "Does the printer get sleepy?"

And so began what felt like a game of 20 questions as the little girl continued to pepper him with questions. Lindsey wanted to know everything about how the seemingly miraculous 3d printing machines worked. So, Jackson explained to the little girl that the printers used instructions to make replacements for different parts of the body. He explained that his old friend Cristina Yang had pioneered using 3d printing in surgery, and that the printer could make pretty much anything if given the right set of instructions to follow.

Lindsey seemed a little disappointed to find that printers did not indeed have reason to actually 'sleep' or dream.

Jake's line of questioning was much shorter and much more simple. He stepped back from the machine he was next to, pointing to the object inside, "What is this going to be?"

"It's going to be a new part of a sick person's heart," Jackson explained, leading Lindsey back toward her brother and the door.

The boy frowned, "And they'll get better? With the new part?"

"We're going to do our best to make sure they do," Jackson said carefully. He didn't want to lie to Jake. Transplants and implants and surgeries in general didn't always have happy endings. So he tempered his explanation. "Outcomes for this kind of procedure are actually pretty good. Much better now that we have these machines."

Jake nodded sagely, taking Jackson's other hand and squeezing it gently, "I guess sometimes you just need a new part to get better, huh Doctor Jackson?"

The words took his by surprise as much as Lindsey's easy trust. He couldn't be quite sure if the kid was talking about heart transplants or their own recently changed lives. Probably both. Something in the boy's eyes and voice made Jackson suspect it was something deeper. April was so worried about her children's well-being (which was fair; that's what all good moms did after all), but Jackson continued to be amazed by just how wonderful his girlfriend's children could actually be. They didn't scare him or intimidate him. They didn't seem to hate Jackson, which he thought would have been the more likely reaction. They didn't resent him. He didn't resent them.

Jackson was glad to have Jake and Lindsey as new parts of his better life. And as far as he could tell, the kids seemed happy to have him as a new part of their lives as well.

"Yeah..." Jackson replied, taking both children out of the print room. "I guess sometimes you do."

It was late when April finally arrived at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. Well after midnight.

Fortunately, it seemed that the Friday night here was turning out to be far quieter than it was at her own hospital. For the past 10 hours Bellevue Acute Trauma had been inundated with a litany of injured ski and snowboarders. It had probably been the most intensive set of patients she'd had to lead the trauma center through treating. BAT got their fair share of car pile ups, and even a building collapse in April's short time as chief. And, now that the weather was changing, she supposed there would be more winter related traumas.

Fortunately, her staff was trained well, and all their preparations and drills paid off. It had been all hands on deck and April could say she was proud of all the personnel involved. Even her ex husband, now partnered with a brand new male rookie (it seemed like Nicole Benton wanted to take no more risks after what happened with Matthew and Terri), given his new relationship. The young paramedic had been clearly nervous, given the severity of a lot of the injuries, and April had observed Matthew's calm and experienced guidance as they pair dropped off patient after patient.

All in all, she felt like BAT weathered it's highest case load very well. All the patients survived long enough to be stabilized and transferred to regional hospitals. April couldn't really ask for a better outcome.

Though, she did feel as though she could do without the headache.

April strode purposefully through the near empty Grey Sloan ER massaging her temples gently hoping to ease away the pounding in her head. The intake nurse smiled brightly at her as she quickly made her way past intake towards the elevators, and despite the dull thud of her head, she was hard pressed not to smile back. April hadn't worked at the place in years, and it always surprised her how many of the remaining doctor's and staff seemed to remember her. Perhaps she was more memorable than she realized.

More likely she'd lived on due to the infamous GSM gossip train. Either way, April felt it was nice to be recognized at a place that was such an important part of her past.

When she reached the door of Jackson's office, her smile grew and her headache seemed less acute. Her boyfriend and her children were curled up on the plush leather couch near Jackson's desk. All asleep and faintly snoring.

At peace.

She paused in the doorway, resting her achy head against the door frame and taking a moment to observe the three people she loved most in the world. Jackson was in the middle, with head leaning back against the wall behind the couch. On his right side, enveloped by Jackson's large white lab coat, Jake was sprawled across the side of the couch and across Jackson's legs. On the other side, Lindsey curled against Jackson's chest, wearing his stethoscope and blissfully unaware of the neon green post it note that was on her forehead, just barely stuck on her blonde hair.

Walking carefully into the room, April squinted at the writing. She leaned forward to try to get a closer look, and her movements made Jackson stir.

"Hey," he groaned, stretching his neck and lifting up his head and opening the gorgeous blue eyes she loved so much to watch her closely.

"Hi," April greeted quietly, lips curling into a small grin. She noticed that Jackson too had a post it note stuck haphazardly on his forehead. She moved to the front of the couch and plucked it from his face, and reading her son's looping handwriting.

Raising her eyebrow playfully, she tilted her head to one side and inquired about the word, "Octopus?"

"Oh..." Jackson chuckled softly, keeping his movements slow so as not to wake up Jake and Lindsey. "That's what it was. I thought it was spider but then Lindsey said Ursula- I couldn't get it..."

"What?"

"For the game," he explained, still sounding groggy. "I don't remember what they said it was called. You write down a word and then you stick it on someone's forehead and you give them clues to guess. You can't say the word obviously, but sometimes, Jake could actually figure out a good rhyme and-"

April couldn't help but beam at Jackson as he slipped off into an uncharacteristic, but nonetheless adorable ramble.

"That's a game?" she teased when his words trailed off into a yawn.

"According to your children, it is."

"So everything went okay?" April asked, feeling suddenly timid, biting the corner of her lip. "When I asked you to hangout with them, I had no idea it would take this long. You could have taken them back to the care center and gone home...I feel bad-I know you have that big budget meeting tomorrow and well tomorrow is already today so-"

"It went fine, April. Don't worry. They had fun. I had fun. I'm always sleepy at board meetings anyway," Jackson's chest puffed out proudly, looking down at Jake and Lindsey's slumbering forms.

April thought she saw his arms tightening around them. Just a little. And there was something warm in her eyes that made her throat feel thick.

He shrugged, "At least this time I'll have two very good reasons for yawning."

April could only smile.

Her boyfriend smiled back, and gestured to Jake and Lindsey, "Let me help you get these two to your car."

When he moved to hand April her daughter, Lindsey's arms wrapped tighter around Jackson, mumbling in her sleep.

"Docta Jackson?"

"Yeah," Jackson answered rubbing gentle circles on the little girls back. "Your mom is here to take you home."

"M'kay," Lindsey replied drowsily, not fully awake, given the shock her next words brought to both the adults in the room. "Love you...

April's eyes widened and in an instant her head throbbed again as her body surged in anxiety and doubt. She had no idea how Jackson would respond, and she knew it was probably awkward for Jackson to have another man's children say they loved him. She knew that he was accepting and even enjoying spending time with her and the children, and he'd been totally amazing a few weeks previous when she'd had a little guilt related freak out after Jake won his class election, but April feared that was more about her than Jake and Lindsey. She knew there was also a part of him that had once been a little uncomfortable with them. April also knew her kids were both surprisingly attached from Jackson right from the start, back when they'd met him in Boston at her Harper Avery Awards ceremony and the day spent touring Boston. And since the divorce, both Jake and Lindsey were both adjusting well to spending time with both Matthew's girlfriend Terri, and with Jackson.

But April's moment of anxiety was over before it could even really begin. Her boyfriend didn't seem phased by her daughter's words at all. In fact, quite the opposite.

"You too," Jackson whispered without hesitation, kissing the top of Lindsey's head as he gently removed his stethoscope from her small frame. "Shh...Go back to sleep."

April took her daughter in to her arms and watched as Jackson slipped his lab coat off of Jake who still slept soundly. Together, they gathered the children's belongings and made their way back through the quiet halls of Grey Sloan Memorial and into the parking lot to April's car.

It hit April then, as they were loading the kids into their booster seats, while Jackson was double checking the latch of Jake's safety belt. He was so gentle, sliding the metal into the buckle as slowly and quietly as possible, doing his best not to disturb her two slumbering children. April didn't feel the need to mention that the car ride would always lull the drowsy children back to sleep if they woke. That she and Matthew had done many a car transfer where Jake or Lindsey woke up briefly only to have the drive pull them back to sleep and that it was okay to just slide the buckle normally.

What mattered was that Jackson cared.

And then it hit her. He'd be good. As a parent. And not just in the abstract, panicked, rushed kind of way she'd briefly contemplated the idea so many years ago. It was more than 'having an awesome kid' and 'being awesome parents', as Jackson had comforted April during the pregnancy scare that had ultimately determined so much of the courses of both their lives. That day was the first time April had ever really considered what Jackson would be like as a parent. As a father.

In the ensuing years, she couldn't deny that the thought had her mind again. But it was one thing to imagine what it might be like to have a child, but it was something entirely different to actually see him take care of her own children so well.

April realized that he would be good. Really good.

If only given the opportunity to experience parenthood himself.

A lump formed in April's throat. In this new relationship, Jackson and April communicated far more than they ever had before. They talked about goals and expectations, fears and insecurities, sex, religion, the serious and the mundane, and everything in between. They talked about everything.

Almost.

Outside of the children April already had and the baby that never was all those years ago, the subject of parenthood (and whether Jackson wanted to experience it) had never come up. Given the conversations they'd had about his own relationship with his father Warren, Jackson's feelings on the subject weren't entirely a mystery to April. But whether or not he wanted to experience fatherhood himself was still an unknown for her. Not that they really should be talking about it really; after all they'd only technically been together for a few months. Then again, they'd fallen into a deep and committed relationship and had both pretty much admitted that this was it for the both of them. Neither Jackson nor April ever planned on being with someone else.

So perhaps the subject of parenthood and whether Jackson wanted to experience it was a conversation worth considering.

Suppose Jackson didn't? Clearly he wasn't opposed to having children around, considering he never declined to spend time with Jake and Lindsey. For the past 6 years, April had been sure she was done having children with Matthew, and she guessed that she could be at home with the idea of being done having children in general if Jackson didn't want to experience parenthood.

But suppose he did? April wasn't sure it was a wish she would be able to grant. Physically or emotionally. Lindsey's pregnancy had not been easy. And the memories weren't exactly easy to let go of.

There was blood on her shoes.

At first April didn't really notice it, after all she was a trauma surgeon. And the patient in front of her had a perforated lung and was coughing up blood and at first April thought it was his blood. And the ER was and had been crowded all day, filled with bleeding cuts, and everything else, and it just never occurred to April that the blood on her gown and shoes would be anything more than the usual collateral damage exacted on her scrubs by an active emergency room.

It was only when her head became light and she felt a painful twist in her abdomen that April looked down past the small bulge of her belly to see that the blood running down her legs actually came from her.

The chaos of the room seemed to slow down, drown out by the thudding in April's ears and the fuzziness in her head. The panic rose in her chest and it felt like she couldn't breathe.

No! No, no! She was only 20 weeks.

Her fellow, Dr. Casey frowned in concern as April swayed on her feet, "Dr. Kepner? Are you alright?"

No, no, no, no!

April suddenly felt faint, and put down her instruments with shaking hands, surprised to find that she'd slowly slid to her knees.

"Get her a gurney!" Casey seemed to understand what was going on better than she did. "Somebody page OB! 911! Now!"

No, no, no, no, no!

"Oh, God."

Closing her eyes briefly to shut out the memory and rubbing her hands together in the chilly night air, April swallowed hard. Everything was fine. Lindsey was snoring in the back seat. She was fine. They'd been fine.

Everything was fine.

She leaned back against her car as Jackson finally stepped back from the car, closing the door behind him.

"Uh, thank you again," April found herself blurting awkwardly. "So much. I really appreciate you taking the time to stay with them."

Jackson shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned forward to kiss her cheek, "No problem. Really. I'd love to do it again sometime."

"Be careful," she teased, slipping her still cold hands into his pockets and standing on her tip toes. "You might end up stuck on babysitting duty all the time and then..."

He looked at her curiously, tilting his head to one side, "And that would be bad?"

April rested her head against Jackson's shoulder, reveling in the comforting warm feeling of his arms wrapping around her shoulders. She closed her eyes and breathed in his familiar smell.

"No," she replied finally. "It just gets me thinking."

"Oh..." Jackson chuckled, tapping his fingers against April's back. "Thinking...thinking. Always thinking. What about?"

Once, April would have been terrified to reply. (Hell, she was still terrified) Once she would have fallen all over herself to hide the crazy places that her mind went. Once she would have thought it was easier to just keep her worries all bottled up.

Once she would have been afraid of losing Jackson because of her thoughts.

But that was then. Both Jackson and April were very different now.

She sighed, "Kids. I'm thinking about kids."

"Okay," Jackson replied haltingly. "Your kids...your kids are great. I didn't break them."

Letting out a small chuckle, April bit her lip and twisted her cold hands "Yes. I'm thinking abut my kids...and I guess I'm-I guess I am wondering about you."

"Wondering?"

Still unable too look her boyfriend in the eyes as she mumbled the question that plagued her mind, April curled closer to his neck, "Do you-would you...have you ever thought about it? Having your own kids, I mean?"

She could feel the tension rise up in Jackson's shoulders the moment the words left her lips. April knew it was bound to be a touchy subject for him.

"I know, I know..." she winced. "I know it's late right now but also early for us to even talk about this stuff and I know it's not one of those conversations we can just handle in five minutes next to the car."

Jackson sighed and she could still feel the tension in his body, but she could also feel a smile in his cheeks, "We've been here ten minutes."

"Yeah, sorry, I just-Seeing you today? You're a natural. Jake and Lindsey liked you right off the bat too, you know? Way back in Boston. And you were good with them then too. You'd be a really good Dad. And I just...wondered if you might...want that someday. To be a father."

"Oh..."

Hands still in Jackson's pockets, April dared to lean back and look him in the eye. His gaze was focused upward, deep in thought as his brow furrowed.

"We don't have to talk about this right-"

"I might," Jackson interrupted her. "I never really thought about it, you know. Despite what my mother might hint at, kids didn't ever seem to be in the cards for me, you know? With my Dad and everything...and without you...I just stopped thinking about it. You think I'd be good?"

April blinked, "Of course. You'd be great."

Jackson's eyes drifted over her shoulder to the window behind her, gaze settling on the children in the back seat of her car, "Is that something you'd want? More than two?"

"I didn't. Not with Matthew," April explained thickly. "When I was younger though, I always thought I'd want more but...well, you know I had a really hard time with Lindsey and I'm not young anymore and I don't know if I could even have another baby-"

Jackson pressed a kiss to her forehead, whispering gently, "I know that was hard for you..."

Breathing deeply, April's eyes darted to the back seat. Everything was fine. Lindsey was snoring in her booster. She was fine. They'd been fine.

Everything was fine.

She hated the way her voice shook and she cleared her throat and continued, willing herself to lighten the mood, "But, I could see myself with you...I could see us raising a child. If that was something we really wanted to do."

"Of course, we'd have to go all the way...actually have sex," April joked, twisting her hand in his pocket, brushing up against the inside leg of his pants.

It was both amusing and incredibly frustrating how careful he was being with their physical relationship. And once April and Jackson had talked about it, she understood his reasoning. Agreed with it even. Sex and poor communication related to the topic had contributed to their downfall a decade ago. The had to be sure they were solid this time around. Maybe it was weird, but it also felt right. Responsible.

Now, they'd gotten so close, kept getting oh so freaking close, all but...in fact that last time an emergency page from Grey Sloan was the only thing that had stopped them. They were going to seal the deal soon. It was inevitably close at this point. Whatever self control they had was wearing thin.

Pagers be damned.

Jackson gasped as her hands danced dangerously along the outline of his crotch and his words came out in a strangle, "Yeah..."

"But-" April relented with a sigh, pulling her hands from her boyfriend's pockets and reaching for her keys. "It's late and like I said, this isn't exactly the kind of topic we can just resolve in ten minutes by a car...I was just thinking."

Opening the driver's side door, April leaned up to kiss Jackson goodbye before sliding into her snore filled car. He held the door open for her and then rested his fists and chin on top of the frame. He frowned.

"It could be."

"What?" she asked tiredly, drumming her fingers against the steering wheel. "What could be?"

"This topic can be resolved in this conversation. Right here, right now." Jackson answered calmly, holding up a finger to prevent interruption. "You know what? I am happy being with you. I am so happy being with you. And I never want that to change. And maybe being with you means we have a baby together someday and that would be great and I would love that. I would love to do that with you. Or maybe being with you means we adopt one and we go through that experience together. That'd be great too."

His eyes focused over April's should again, darting back and forth to her eyes.

"And maybe being with you means we don't have any children together. Either way, I get to be happy, and to be someone important in a lot of people's lives. More You brought two great kids into my life and if stepfather was all I get to be, it's enough. I would be humbled to play even a small role in their lives. I am happy to do that. Whatever we decide in the future will be right. I'll be happy if I get to spend it with you. So don't worry."

Sometimes April was reminded that even if she spent 24 hours a day thanking God for all the amazing changes her life had undergone in the past year, she could never thank Him enough for giving Jackson back. For guiding her on the path that brought them back together.

"You..." April shook her head fondly, surprised to find that she was blinking back tears. "You are pretty great, you know that?"

"So I've been told," Jackson quipped cockily, dodging to one side when April reached out to smack him. "Goodnight, April. Drive safe. I love you."

"I love you too."