What Really Matters

Isilarma

Written for Round 3 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition, which had to be a rare pairing of two Slytherins. This is set just before Slughorn returns to Hogwarts with the residents of Hogsmeade during the Battle of Hogwarts.

To anyone who's waiting for a 'Strange Visitors' update, I am working on it, but I've hit a bit of a block, and it's going to take a bit longer than I expected. I'm really sorry; I promise I'll have it up as soon as I can.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and am not affiliated with Bloomsbury or Scholastic Inc.

"You can't do this!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's suicide! I'm not about to stand here and let you kill yourself."

Green eyes flashed. "Excuse me? Since when have you 'let' me do anything?"

"Daphne-"

"It's my choice, Theo. And I'm going."

Theo ran his hands through his hair in exasperation. "Daphne, please. It's too dangerous."

"I am well aware of that," Daphne snapped. "I'm not a Gryffindor to go rushing into things."

"But why are you going at all? Stay here, where it's safe." He allowed a trace of desperation to leak into his voice. "Please. Don't go."

Daphne's eyes softened almost imperceptibly and she reached over to take his hands. "I have to."

"No, you don't. You don't owe them anything." Memories of accusing looks and mutters welled up, and his fists clenched involuntarily. "Neither of us do."

"Maybe not, but don't you see? This is our chance to finally do something."

"Yeah, get ourselves killed." Daphne's eyes narrowed, but Theo didn't give her a chance to interrupt. "We can't fight him. If we go, we'll die."

"Potter seems to think he has a chance," Daphne argued.

"Potter's a Gryffindor," Theo shot back. "He doesn't think. If he did, he'd know he's a dead man."

"But he did it once before, remember. And he's been away for a year, who knows what he might have discovered."

Theo couldn't hold back a bitter laugh. "He could stay away a hundred years and he wouldn't know enough to win."

"Theo-"

"No." He had to make her understand, had to make her see how little hope there truly was. "I've met him, Daphne. I've seen what he can do, and I know there is no way Potter can win. He will die, and his friends will die, and so will everyone who fights alongside them. If you go..." He looked away, fists clenching and unclenching as he struggled to contain his emotions. "If you go, you will too. And I... I can't let that happen."

There was silence for a minute, broken only by the sounds of their breathing. Theo felt guilt swell up, but he forced it aside. He had meant what he said. The Dark Lord was far beyond anything they could fight. Dumbledore might have stood a chance, but Potter? No. In all honesty, Theo had little concern for Potter and the rest of his lot. They had got themselves into this mess.

But Daphne...

A gentle hand rested on his shoulder, and Theo had to fight the urge to flinch.

"I won't let that happen," he whispered.

"It's not your decision to make."

"But why? Why are you so eager to die?"

Her fingers tightened slightly. "If he wins we all die anyway." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "That's why you didn't join up, isn't it?"

Theo's breath caught in his throat. "I didn't join him because he's a madman."

"Exactly. He'd kill us as easily as he would Potter."

Theo didn't try to argue. He'd seen his father after meetings with the master. Daphne continued, her voice ringing with conviction despite its softness.

"If Potter dies, then it's all over. No one will ever stand against him after this. He'll be unstoppable, and immortal, and we will never escape."

Theo rounded on her. "But that's it! He's immortal! Potter can't defeat him; no one can defeat him! We don't stand a chance."

Daphne met his gaze without flinching. "So we'll die. But at least we won't have to live under him." She dropped her hand and stepped back. "I don't care about Potter and the rest of those idiots any more than you do, but I won't wait here, to be taken for sport when he returns. I'd rather do something to decide my own fate."

"Even die?" Theo whispered.

Daphne looked away for a moment. "There is a chance it won't end that way."

"A practically non-existent one."

"But even that's better than nothing." She reached up to cup his cheek. "And it would be better if there were more of us."

Theo jerked away. "What? You've got to be joking."

"Theo-"

"Daphne, my father's up there!"

Daphne fell silent, her eyes widening with shock. Theo turned away, finding himself unable to meet her gaze as he continued. "I don't want the Dark Lord to win. I might even fight him, even if it was just to escape. But I can't... I can't fight Dad."

"You probably won't even see him," Daphne argued.

"But what if I do? I've seen him with his things, I'd know it was him." He shook his head. "I can't do it."

There was a long silence before Daphne replied. "I guess that's it then."

Ice gripped Theo's heart. "Please don't go. Come with me, we can get away-"

"No we can't, and you know it," Daphne interrupted gently.

Theo closed his eyes. "Then stay here."

There were soft footsteps, and Daphne walked round to face him. "Haven't we just been over this?" She took his hand. "Come with me."

He wanted to. He wanted to so badly that his heart ached. She was one of the two people in the world he truly cared about. To keep her safe, he would do almost anything.

But only almost.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Daphne dropped his hand. "So am I." Her lips brushed his, and Theo drew strength from the contact, but it only lasted a moment before she stepped back. "Stay safe."

Theo's mouth went bone dry. "You too."

She managed a smile, but no smile could hide the disappointment in her eyes. "I'll do my best."

And then she was gone, and Theo could only stare after her, and wonder how he had lost everything so fast.

"Are you all right, Mr. Nott?"

Theo nearly jumped out of his skin as he whirled round, and it took a considerable effort to speak calmly. "I'm fine, Professor."

Slughorn looked at him rather closely, but didn't press the matter. "Well, have you decided whether or not you will be joining us?"

Theo looked away, unable to meet Slughorn's gaze. The large professor cut a comical sight in his dressing gown and slippers, but Theo had never felt less like laughing in his life. "I don't know yet, sir."

"I see."

Theo shifted, easily picking up the disappointment in his voice. "I'm not a good duellist."

"Your marks for Defense have always been excellent, my boy."

Theo didn't reply. Good marks in school meant nothing when it came to a real battle. Slughorn glanced at him.

"Miss Greengrass just spoke to me."

Theo couldn't stop himself from looking up. "What did she say?"

"She will be accompanying us back to the castle."

Theo tried not to react. Slughorn was still watching him intently, and he couldn't afford to appear vulnerable.

But it was Daphne, and his breath quickened. Slughorn continued, his dark eyes fixed on Theo's, "It seems that she takes the same view that I do."

"What would that be, sir?"

Slughorn sighed. "That maybe it is better to die fighting than to live under someone like him."

Theo looked away. That was true enough, but... "Maybe Daphne is just braver than I am."

"So it would seem."

Theo flinched. "Sir-"

"What are you afraid of, Mr. Nott?"

Theo stared at him. "Dying," he said flatly. "Because that's what will happen if I go there."

"Probably," Slughorn agreed.

"Then why should I go?"

Slughorn continued to watch him, but now there was more than disappointment in his eyes. "A year ago, you told me that you were not your father."

Theo jerked back. "I'm not!"

Slughorn nodded. "I know, my boy."

Theo couldn't bring himself to feel pleasure in the small victory. So one person didn't think he was evil just because of who his father was. Great. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Slughorn open his mouth and forced his attention back in time to hear the professor remark,

"But I wonder who else does."

It was like a bucket of ice cold water had been dumped on his head. "What?"

Slughorn shrugged. "I am aware that the past year has not been an easy one, Mr. Nott."

Theo couldn't hold back a snort. "Understatement, sir."

Life as a Slytherin was never easy, especially for those who were known to have family who sympathised with the Dark Lord. There was a reason Theo kept to himself. It had taken years for him to trust Daphne enough to let her close. She was the only one.

Daphne...

He couldn't let her go alone, yet neither could he follow.

Slughorn sighed. "What are you really afraid of, Mr. Nott?"

Theo wanted to snap something about injury, and torture, and near-certain death, but he was tired. Tired of excuses, tired of lies.

"I can't lose her," he whispered.

"Then why are you letting her go alone?"

"I'm not brave enough. I'm not a Gryffindor."

"Neither is she. Bravery is not the sole province of Gryffindors."

He knew that. Daphne was not the only Slytherin returning. And were it just the fear of death, the decision would be a simple one.

But it wasn't.

"He'll never accept me," he whispered. "Not after this."

Slughorn wasn't one to offer meaningless platitudes. "There is that chance," he said gently. "I suppose the question now is whether you need that acceptance."

That was a stupid question. He was his father, the one who had raised him all alone. Of course he wanted acceptance.

Except he hadn't exactly been a model father. Barely even a good one. And wanting was not needing.

Slughorn laid a hand on his shoulder. "You are not your father's son, Theodore. Maybe I should have seen that earlier. But, if I'm not mistaken, there is someone who did."

Someone who didn't see him as a future Death Eater, or a cold-hearted Slytherin, or even a lonely little bookworm.

Yes. There was.

And she was waiting.

Theo looked up at his head of house, who was finally looking at him and seeing him and no one else. "When will we be leaving, sir?"

He didn't have to look hard to find her. He never did.

She didn't say anything, but words had never been necessary between them. She just took his hand, and smiled, and despite the fact that they were about to march to their deaths, Theo could not help but smile back.

Romance isn't my strong suit, but I hope you all enjoyed that. Any feedback would be very much appreciated.