A/N: Yeah, okay this is going to screw with so many people's brains… Does everyone remember Hanzo?
*blank stares*
Badge number 294?
*blank stares*
The bald guy in the Hunter Exam who tells everyone he meets "I'm a ninja"?
*people's faces light up in remembrance*
Yeah, that Hanzo. It's time for Gon and Killua to run into him again… I SWEAR this is only a one shot, will never ever be continued, and I will be returning to my other fics ASAP! (ducks behind wall to avoid Razorblade Mistress's glare)
"AH! Gon-kun! Killua-kun!" The two boys turned around; one dressed in green shorts and a matching jacket carrying a fishing rod with spiky black hair, the other with silver and dressed in a white top and blue shorts carrying a green skateboard. They starred dumbly as a young woman ran up to them.
She was older than them, not by much, maybe close to Leorio's age. Not that Leorio looked nineteen… at all! So maybe it was a bad comparison. She looked nineteen or so at any rate. Her hair was short for a girl's, hanging just to her shoulders, and was blonde with a pinkish-tint. But she was tall, standing just shy of the boys' combined height, wearing a black outfit that was similar to what the boy's assumed a ninja might wear. Or, at least, the only ninja they had ever met had worn.
To Gon she looked like just another pretty lady. Killua noticed that she was more than just a pretty face. She was fit; the muscles on her arms were defined and she moved with practiced ease among the crowd. She was running towards them, yet managed to avoid touching another person. All this was lost to Gon.
As the woman caught up to them she smiled even more, as wide as Gon.
"Oh my god! I never thought I would see you guys again so soon after the Hunter Exam! How have you been? Done anything exciting since becoming a Hunter Gon? I myself have…" The woman continued to talk as the boys whispered to each other.
"Do you know her Gon?" Killua raised his left hand to shield his mouth as he leaned into his friend's ear.
"Na-uh." Gon whispered back. "Don't you know her?"
Killua made a face that had Gon muffling a laugh.
"Why would I know an old hag like her?"
"She knew your name, she called you out didn't she?"
"Ba-ka! She called your name first." Killua smacked Gon's head. The woman was still talking, oblivious to how the two boys were acting.
"Ya-cha-cha. That huur-t Killua!" He complained while grasping his head in pain, a large bump already forming on his forehead.
"Serves you right." In unison the two boys turned back to the woman, who was, unbelievably, still talking about all the things she had done since she had apparently last seen them. Bragging really.
"Ah-na?" Gon interrupted, tightening his grip on the handle of his fishing rod subconsciously. The blonde haired woman stopped midsentence.
"Yes Gon-kun?"
"Um…" Gon was at a loss as to how to ask her politely how she knew them. Mito-san had always taught him to be polite to strangers.
"Who are you, you old hag?" Killua asked bluntly, not at all guilty about insulting the unknown woman.
"Killua! That's not a nice…" Gon tried to chastise the cat-eyed boy but was interrupted as the woman laughed.
"Killua-kun is still blunt, that's good. I mean, I know it's only been a few months so it's kinda impossible for someone's personality to change so much, especially if that personality is as obnox-"
"Hey!" Killua shouted, but the woman continued anyways.
"-ious as yours. But still! I was kind of happy to see you guys in the crowd."
"Oi!"
"You guys really stood out during the exam. Especially you Gon…"
"Oi!"
"… during that tournament. I mean, really! I broke your arm and everything, yet you still didn't hate me!"
"OI!" Killua shouted directly into the woman's ear and she finally seemed to remember who she was talking to.
"How do you know all that onee-san?" Gon asked as Killua blew steam out of his ears.
"I was your opponent silly!" The boys looked at each other…
Looked back at her…
Looked at each other…
And doubled over in a laugh riot! The woman was now the one with steam escaping from her ears.
"WHAT'S SO FUNNY!?" She exploded after nearly five minutes of the boys still laughing at her.
"Haha! Gon's opponent wasn't some old hag like you!" Killua grasped his stomach and doubled over in another fit of laughter.
"His opponent was Hanzo right?" She asked, tone biting, and crossed her arms.
"Yeah!" Gon finally seemed to have calmed down, until Killua added,
"He was some bald, ninja guy."
"Well excuse me for disguising myself and forgetting to add a wig." That managed to stop the boys from laughing again.
"You?" Was the echoed question.
"Yes, me. Hanozuka Hattomi. See." And with that the woman, who had supposedly been the bald ninja 'Hanzo' during the exam, produced a Hunter's License that had been issued from the 287th Hunter Exam.
A/N: So, I think I made it glaringly obvious in the first couple of paragraphs where the story was going, but who found it funny? I mean 'Hanzo' as 'Hanozuka' a girl! *doubles over in a fit of giggles*
Please review with your opinion on the story! Did I capture the characters personalities? Win? Fail? Am I twisted for thinking up this kind of story? Come on people! FemHanzo?! How many stories like this can there possibly be?! *leaves for five minutes to go check*
NONE! BOO-YAH! And sadly, there is only ONE story on this site that has Hanzo as a main character… that's sad. That's really sad. That's as bad as looking for stories with Milluki in them (one of the many interesting topics my friend Razor and I get into).
So again, please review! And if this made you laugh (or wish to kill me in my sleep) I encourage you to check out my other fics on the site! They may stop you from wanting to murder me… or, you know, *shrugs* make you want to murder me all the more. Bye-bye!