"Hey, puddin'." Bucky caught her mouth before she could articulate a greeting, squashing her lips together with his thumb and forefinger. "Listen, buttercup, I know we got off on the wrong foot, and clearly we adore each other, but you're gonna pretend to be my girl for a little while, alright?"

She cocked a brow, shoved at his hand, and flicked her hair back from her face.

"And why the hell would I do that?"

"You get the benefits." he wiggled his eyebrows.

"I'd rather slam my head into a wall for an hour." she shot back, and made to step around him.

"See, here's my problem." he drawled. "Steve's brought his girlfriend over."

"Oh, shit." Darcy slapped her forehead.

"'Zactly."

The Blonde - Darcy outrightly disliked her - Jessica, or something, she had this thing. She and Steve were peachy keen, and they were perfect for each other and whatever, but she decided to focus her efforts on gifting that same stuff onto others without ever really knowing how, or if they wanted to or not.

Namely, Bucky and Darcy. When she'd seen a Bucky-Darcy face off, she had been convinced that they would never ever be right for each other, so she'd moved onto trying to set them up with her friends.

So far, her friends consisted of this guy that had given Darcy this disapproving once over, and his friend a 'yeah, you couldn't pay me enough' kind of look, followed by a professional student going on his seventh year in university. That guy was only topped by the near-mute writer who Darcy had honestly not minded, until she caught him stealing hair out of her brush and sealing it in little plastic doggy bags.

Bucky had suffered through about six different girls - all the matchmaker had to do was flash his photo and there'd be girls falling over themselves to match up with him. He had a lot of Steve's ideals about what his woman should be like, and while Steve and Darcy were great friends, Darcy and Bucky were not.

"And if I don't?" Darcy had thought that, maybe she'd get a one up, a boon from the super-pain-in-the-ass.

He shrugged.

"There's one for you in there too."

"Yeah, but maybe it's a good one, this time."

He snorted, putting a metal hand over his mouth.

"Yeah, okay. If you did gingers."

"Look, Buck-o, I'd take a ginge over you any day." she poked him in the chest. "I would not, ever, ever date you, not even pretend to. You're a vile, sexist, misogynist bastard. You're a bullshitter and a cocky-" she rounded the corner. Her ginger, Bucky's 'date', and Steve all looked up.

"Hey guys. Sorry I'm late. I forgot the vegan food, sorry, uh..." she searched for a name but none would come. "Yeah, work's been crazy."

She gave the ginger a once over. His face... was familiar. Her hand flew to Bucky's stomach - he let out a 'Oomph!' - then she grabbed his forearm and tucked her hand around it, positively beaming up at him.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you today. Got a little distracted." her nails twisted in his shirt, digging into his skin.

"Me too, baby doll." both Bucky's arms went around her shoulders, his chin propped on her head from behind - he'd sort of maneuvered her around so her back was to his front. There was something digging into her lower spine, something she prayed very hard would be his belt buckle. "And it can't help that you haven't been gettin' much sleep, the last couple nights. Sorry about that, darlin'."

"Yeah, because you snore like a thunderstorm." she shot back, and patted his arms with a pretty smile directed up and over her shoulder. "It's endearing, dear, really. I need a shower and I'll be right with you. Sorry about the food."

"I'll be... also, showering." he looped an arm around her waist and kept her mild stride, then kicked her bedroom door closed behind him. She promptly smacked his arm away like it was leaking a noxious smelling pus. "So, babe, how's about it?"

"Touch me and I'll scream." she warned. "Steve will beat you up." she went to her dresser and started to pull out clothes, shoving them shut with her hip before he could peer inside. A pair of nice worn in jeans and a scoop neck tee that shrunk her waist and emphasized the sweater puppies... not like she was aiming to impress any one, they just made her feel good.

"You're a mess." he looked around at her grungy slice of heaven. "If this is gonna work, darlin', you 'n' I've got to clean this pigsty. I've seen barracks neater 'n' this."

"Don't push it, Barnes." she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "You're already in trouble with me, and you know it."

"Why?" his smile was utterly charming.

"You know that guy has been creeping on me for months."

"Oh, is this the same one from that class you took in Stark Tower?"

"You know it is!" she was so annoyed. So, annoyed!

This wasn't the first time they had done the cover-up thing, though it was the first time both were aware of what was happening and willing to engage. When Bucky had first come to save the world with Steve he was fine - quiet, reserved. He kinda snuck around a little bit, but no one really begrudged him that, when they were told the short of his history.

Darcy had been chatting to the ginger in the programming class she took under Tony's say-so, when he started saying some pretty visual things, started getting a little close, and a little grabby. She'd stumbled out of the class trying to snatch her bag back from him (he'd wanted to carry it to her car for her) and bumped right into Bucky, who put both arms around her then.

"Oh!" she caught a fistful of his shirt, accidentally pulling it down to reveal his smooth, lickable chest. "Bucky! There you are, baby!" and because she had him by the shirt, she yanked him down another few inches and laid a kiss on him.

He was surprised but totally kissed her back - his hands caught her lower spine and the back of her neck and by the time they were done, she had been lowered into the kiss. The ginger had thrown her bag at her and there were a few people wolf whistling at them, so Darcy then picked up her bag and dragged him to an empty classroom, briefly explaining her dire situation before pecking his chin and skipping out with a merry: "Thanks Buck!"

A few days later he moved in with her and Steve, and he had been a gaping arsehole ever since.

"You know the drill. Sit." she shoved him on the bed, knocking his knees out from under him. He sprawled on her unmade bed like a pornstar, knees spread, looking out at her from half lowered lashes. The curl on his mouth was sinful.

"Join me?" he cooed.

"Don't touch anything."

"But baby." he caught the backs of her legs and pouted. "I've missed you all day."

"What did I say about touching?" she stepped over his hands, and he rolled his eyes. "Don't peek on me, Barnes, or you'll lose an eye to match your arm."

"I'd rather keep my lunch down, thanks, Lewis."

She glared, and shut the door with a tight snap behind her. There were no locks on the bathrooms, but she could open the drawers and wedge the door shut like that. With a satisfied huff, she disrobed and bathed as quickly as possible, scrubbing her face clean before stepping out of the shower, drying, and putting her comfy clothes back on.

When she emerged Bucky was now laying on her bed with his booted feet on her clean sheets, her favourite pillow tucked under his head, her glasses perched on his nose, reading a trashy romance novel she'd tucked between the wall and head board.

"Jesus, Lewis." he licked his finger and turned a page. "You must be lonely."

"How did you-?!"

"I'm a spy, dumbass." he looked at her over the glasses. "Also, I have super powers. Duh."

"Enjoying yourself?" she snapped.

He grinned.

"I'm reading your dirty smut fantasies. I'd say I'm having more fun than you. Put your face on, you're hideous."

"I hate you." she told him, and refused to put any make-up on, because of principle. "Give me my book back."

"-'He guided her down to the bed like she was made of spun glass,'" he read in a smooth, honeyed voice. "Pressed his hardness between her legs to show her how much he wanted her, how much she was desired, and needed. She was breathless from his kiss, even more breathless from his apparent size.' Oh, my. This is the story of my life."

"Barnes." she snapped, and made a swipe from the book. He put his foot on her stomach to keep her away, and kept reading.

"'It's been a while.' she bit her lip, suddenly nervous. 'How long?' he murmured into her collarbone. 'Nearly four years'. she whimpered as his fingers circled her most sensitive nubbin.' The hell's a nubbin? Do you have one of those?" he peered over her glasses with cocked brows. "Can I just find it for myself?"

"I swear to god-" she said through her teeth.

"Leave god out of this. My name is Bucky and you may say it as often as you like." and he moved his leg away, letting her pitch forward onto the bed, where he held both her wrists in his mechanical hand and kept reading.

"'She was tight, tighter than she thought. One finger was a tease, two was a glorious-' Oh this is such bullshit."

"Bucky!" she wriggled with viciousness, trying to sink her teeth into his arm. "Give me my book back!"

He flicked a few pages, then brightened.

"Oh hey, there's actually rutting in here. They're doing it in the store room. Class act, lady. D'joo and your man-friends ever-?"

"STEVE! STEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeVEEE!"

"Shhhh! Shut up." he let her out of the circle of his mechanic arm, rolling onto one side with her leg still trapped between his. "Have your damn book back." and he tossed it at her head, which missed only by an inch.

"You psycho Soviet son-of-a-bitch!"

Steve opened the door as she took her novel and cracked Bucky right over the head with it.

"What did you do now?" he just leaned against the doorway - Bucky probably had it coming, if Darcy was making such a ruckus. He had to intervene when he got her in a headlock, though, because they would only get more violent from there. With Darcy on one side, hugging her book tightly, and Bucky on the other, rubbing the red mark on his skull, they both started.

"She's in-freaking-sane-"

"He's a bastard-"

"Good God." Steve eyed the ceiling, wondering what the neighbours thought. "Help me."

"She's just upset because she ain't gettin' any-"

"He's a fucking bully, Steve!" she said shrilly, and slumped against his back with a dramatic hand to her brow. "He called me ugly! He stole my book!"

"Oh, come off of it."

"He called me fat!"

"Bucky!" Steve was scandalized.

"I didn't-! You're so full of bullshit, Lewis!"

"Steve, he called me ugly. Am I ugly?"

"Oh, that's rich. You know just how to play him, don't you?!"

"Did you call Darcy fat, or ugly, Bucky?"

"She's playin' you like a fiddle!"

"Did you steal her book?"

"C'mon, Steve, it's a rutty-romance piece of trash-"

"Bucky." he was wearing his supremely indignant Captain America face. "Cool off. You two are terrible. No, Darcy, both of you." he stepped forward and closed the door behind her.

"I didn't even-"

"Both of you are in this 'relationship'."

"Steeeeve." she fluttered her lashes.

"No. Both of you have decided to pretend to be in a relationship when my girl's gone to all the trouble of helping you two out. You two had damn well better act the part."

"Couples fight." Darcy informed him.

"They don't have to." Was Bucky's sharp retort. "What the hell kind of century is this?"

"Better one than what raised you!" Darcy flung the book at his head again, but he just leaned to the side and watched it sail through the air, over his shoulder.

"Darcy," Steve said patiently. "Come on, cut it out."

"He started it!" she threw up her hands. "I come home after a long day at work-"

"Come of it, Lewis!"

"Shut up! What have you done today?"

"Hmm, well, between taking out the super villain in Manhattan this morning and preventing Tony Stark from having his head forcibly shoved up his ass by Loki-"

"Like his head isn't already up his ass." she scoffed. "You probably would've done us all a favour if you had've just let it happen!"

"This is why I'm the hero, and you push papers for a living."

She stomped her foot, turned back to Steven.

"He did call me ugly though."

"I did not." he cupped his hands around his mouth and bellowed. "CALL YOU UGLY!"

"You said-!" she whirled on him, mimicking the hands-around-mouth-megaphone. "And I quote: "Put your face on, you're HIDEOUS." That means UGLY, Barnes!"

Steve sighed, and quietly let himself out. They weren't going to listen, as per the norm. If they got physical he would intervene, otherwise someone would end up hurt. That someone was always Darcy.

Bucky got up and rolled his eyes, sighing heavily, like it was the bane of his existence to be in the same room with her.

Darcy was not finished, however - she was still riled up over how easily he had dismissed her coming home from work, which he never appreciated, when in fact it was her that kept his PR to a minimum. Pepper handled Tony, Hulk and Thor, but Darcy did the rest. She could've very easily let his reputation hit the floor, but there she was, juggling his, Steve's, Natasha's and Clint's despite it running her into the ground from exhaustion and the new grey hairs at her temples.

Which is why, when he went to step around her, she stood in his way, hands on her hips, mouth pouted and brow cocked.

He put his hand on her shoulder to steer her away, and she shoved him hard in the chest. He didn't move, so she did it again.

"I'm not finished with you!" she said hotly. "You can't just dismiss me, Buck-o!"

"Watch me." he scoffed, and sort of shoved her to the side. She jumped on his back and planted her feet on the door frame in reply, trying to drag him back by force. "As much as I'm enjoying this, Darce, you're on the wrong side."

Her arms went from around his shoulders to around his throat. Which is probably why he backed into the room, slammed the door, and threw himself back on the bed. He twisted himself whilst still in the circle of her arms until he was facing her, between her legs, mouth in an unimpressed line.

She promptly let go of him and shoved at his chest, swearing her head off.

"You - make - me - so - mad!" every word was punctuated with a pointless shove. Part of her brain wanted to punch him in the face, while the other part wasn't thinking with her brain. "I - want - you - to - listen - to - me!"

"Alright. Alright! I'm listening. Quit swingin'." he knocked one of her wrists away and sat back, putting space between them by crawling off the bed. "Well?"

"You can't just dismiss what I do like that!" she started, sitting up. "I work damn hard to keep your name nice and clean! I work hard to pick up what Jane's talking about and what Tony's asking me to do with his tech and you can't just - write off my hard work - like it's nothing - LIKE I AM NOTHING!" she was now very frustrated.

The difference between Angry Darcy and Frustrated Darcy was that Angry Darcy would happily throw down, yell and scream, fight until she was okay again.

Frustrated Darcy's default was to cry.

"I never said you were nothing." he said quickly. "Hang on a sec - woah, Darce, Darce, please don't cry. Hey. Jesus, I'm sorry. Come on, doll, don't cry." he knelt, hands wavering, unsure weather or not he should touch her as tears brimmed on her lashes and she began to curl further and further into a ball on her bed.

"I'm not nothing." she repeated with all due vehemence.

"No, you're definitely something." he encouraged. He was all - worried looking, staring at her face without blinking. She'd never seen him unsure.

"Tell me I'm pretty." she demanded.

"You're pretty." he told her, then cocked his head slightly. "Don't you know you're pretty?"

"You told me I was hideous!"

"I didn't mean it. If I had've known it hurt your feelings I wouldn't of said it, I was joking. I think you're gorgeous. Don't cry." he hands did that awkward between wiping her tears and looking like she was going to launch at him thing, and she giggled to spite herself, tipping the tears over her cheeks. "Oh- fuck's sake - I am sorry. You can cry if you want to-...Uh, here." he dug around in his jean pocket and produced a folded handkerchief. It had his initials emblazoned on the corner and everything.

She stared at it like it was going to burn her face if she used it, so he sighed, reached up, and blotted her tears for her, paying very delicate attention to her misery. Which of course, didn't help, so much as make her chin wobble and tears brim again.

"I'm sorry, baby doll, I am. You know you're pretty. Don't listen to me, I get mean when I'm hungry."

"I forgot the food." she said for apologies.

"Still woulda been mean. I hate that vegan shit." he waited until her chin had stopped it's wobble, then folded the hanky and tucked it into her fingers. "Are you alright?"

She didn't know how to answer that. Something had happened in those few quiet moments, and she wasn't sure what. It was like she was seeing him with new eyes, like crying had dislodged something that made her vision crystal clear.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Sorry I hit you in the head with my book."

"You got a nice right hook in there, Lewis. It was a good shot."

"It was." she paused, then a smile curled on her mouth, and it didn't stop until she hid it under her hand and started to giggle to herself. Bucky's expression warmed when he saw her laughing, his entire exterior relaxing, deflating, loosening up.

"There's my girl." he said warmly. "Thought I lost you for a second there."

"Never." She sniffed, raised her chin. "Takes a little more than the likes of you to scare me off, Barnes."

"That's what I like to hear." he was grinning at her, and she was smiling back, and it was a little bit romantic, if she forgot having smacked him in the head with her dirty romance novel a few minutes ago. She bit into her lip and his eyes flicked to it, maybe for just a second. His reaction made her mouth pop open in surprise, making him swallow a hard mouthful she watched bob his adam's apple on the way past.

"Hey Bucky?" she said slowly, managing to drag her eyes from his throat to his face.

"Yeah?" he said it a little roughly.

"Let's go out for some real food." she suggested lightly, but his eyes flicked between both of hers like he was reading something between the lines. "What do you say, solider boy? Gonna show me a good night out on the town?"

"Yes ma'am." he said, and promptly stood, offering his hand.

"I'll put some heels on." she said absently, and took the proffered palm.

He pulled her up into standing, and kept hold of her hand, head inclined so that his mouth was noticeably closer than it should have been in casual conversation.

"You don't need heels." he murmured. "I like you just as you are."

"Don't think I'm hideous?"

"Never have, never will." he let go of her hand, but it dropped to his chest. They hadn't been so close without screaming or fisticuffs since she first kissed him for cover. Something warm was twisting in her belly. She was trying hard not to chew on her lip.

"Shoes might be necessary, though." she said airily, but between the way she was holding onto his shirt and staring at his face, it didn't translate as calmly as she wanted it implied. "Go get your coat. I'll be out in a second."

"Better be. I don't wanna be set up with that woman. She's not wearing any underwear... A fact she kept on reminding me of."

So the boner she thought happened earlier was a boner. It was fine, until she realized it wasn't for her. Then it was ew.

"I see." she said lightly, and had to focus on making her fingers unroll from his shirt. "Well. That was before she knew you and I were a thing, so... I'll forgive her, I guess."

She stepped back, which effectively put space between them, but made her press against the bed.

"Any idea where we're going?" he asked politely.

"Somewhere with burgers bigger than your face." she replied instantly.

His grin was wolfish.

"Good news." he said, and started backing out.

She smiled a little shyly, took a moment to think about what had just happened, then pulled on a knee length black wiggle dress, a pair of flat gold-tipped shoes, a little foundation, and simple black winged eyeliner. She almost walked away from the mirror, when she saw her vixen-red lipstick, and applied it with methodical strokes.

She smacked her mouth, struck a pose and tossed her hair before leaving, scooping up her coat on her way out. She said a calm goodbye to the gang, apologising again for not feeding them, and met a speechless Bucky outside the front door.

It took him point five of a second to have her back in the door, claiming they had forgot something in Darcy's room.

And they had, really.

They left for dinner two and a half hours later, after everyone else had left.

The two dates originally signed up to Darcy and to Bucky had eventually wound up talking amongst themselves, and would later be the only couple Steve's then girlfriend matched together.

Steve and the then girlfriend had retired to bed after tossing a salad together.

Steve's tummy growled all night.

Bucky's did not.

I'm preeeeetty sure I want this to turn into a Steve/Bucky/Darcy thing, because they are my favourite kinds to read, but I need a little motivation, methinks.

How does it make you feel?

(I've been watching too much Hannibal to make it any sweeter, my bad.)

Thanks for reading!

Aude xx